“I know you’re in pain, but you can’t keep laying here feeling sorry for yourself,” Mama Sue said to her about three weeks after William’s funeral.

  “Loving a Black man is like asking for a hole in your heart. You were so right.”

  Mama Sue lifted a hand. “I said that during slavery times. I knew firsthand the hurt that would come to a woman when some ol’ massa decided to do away with the man she loved without a care to how it would break her.

  “But there was never anything wrong with you loving William. That plague might have claimed his life, but it didn’t claim his love. You had that.” Mama Sue put a hand on Louella’s shoulder. “Be comforted by that.”

  Louella turned to face the wall. “I know you want me to do the responsible thing.” She closed her eyes and inhaled the bittersweetness of William’s waning scent. “God was supposed to look out for my family, but my family keeps dwindling, and I’m too exhausted to go on.”

  The organ that was supposed to be a heart hurt so bad every time she got up, Louella expected it to explode. Then she would go to that sweet by and by, but maybe that was okay. She might even see Lily, as William did.

  “What about Waties and Joshua? Don’t you think they hurting too? They need you to hug them. Smile at them. Do something that lets them know they didn’t lose you too.”

  Her babies needed her.

  Then Mama Sue said, “What about the Happy Land? Don’t you think the people here need you?”

  “They have Robert.” Louella was still angry about that “Long live the king” chant. It was all so disrespectful, and she honestly didn’t know if she wanted to lead a group of people who so blatantly showed her their preference for a man. “They deserve what they’ll get with Robert as their leader. Once he enslaves them again, maybe being ruled by a woman won’t be such a hardship for some of these men.”

  Mama Sue tsked, but she left Louella alone with her anger. She also left the door open. And within minutes Waties and Joshua came to visit. Louella wanted to smile at her sons, but her lips couldn’t pretend to be happy.

  “When you gon’ get up?” Waties asked.

  “Why don’t you play with us no more?” Joshua wanted to know.

  And her heart broke all over again. This time, it didn’t break due to all she had lost, but because she had allowed herself to forget what she had left. Her children were a gift from God. Mama Sue was right. She couldn’t keep wallowing in self-pity when her sons needed her.

  Chapter 33

  Louella spent her days at the schoolhouse teaching the younger kids from a Bible she herself struggled to understand. At night, she lay in her bed and cried like tears were her refuge.

  She was broken. Didn’t know how much more she could take. She’d begun singing herself to sleep with the words from a sad song . . .

  “Sometimes I feel like a motherless child,

  Sometimes I feel like I’m almost done,

  A long way from home,

  A long way from home.”

  At night she let the pain of that song envelop her. When daylight came, she got out of bed, dressed, and tended to her children, then went back to the schoolhouse.

  This morning Abigail stood in front of the class holding her Bible open. She read Psalm 27:13: “‘I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.’”

  When Abigail finished reading those words, she closed the Bible as if she’d said enough and nothing more needed to be added. But Louella sat there as stiff as a statue, wrapping her mind around every word of that verse. If God wanted them to see goodness, then why so much pain?

  Where was God in her darkest of hours? All these things were her inward thoughts, but she did not—would not—say any of it out loud. She lifted her face to the heavens, silently telling God, I need answers . . . I am undone. My heart is heavy with grief.

  “You looked so sad after I read that scripture. I hope I didn’t offend you with my choice,” Abigail said as school ended for the day and she and Louella were leaving.

  Louella shook her head. “You didn’t offend me. The Word is what it is, whether I agree with it or not.”

  “I’m kind of shocked to hear you say that since you’re the one who encouraged me to keep my head up all those years when I struggled with not being able to have children.”

  Louella’s hand went to her mouth with a giggle. “Then you showed out and delivered two babies at once.”

  “I swear I thought Femi was going to faint when our second child pushed his way out.” Abigail laughed with Louella, then she said, “It’s good to see you smile, and I’m so sorry about King William.”

  “Me too,” she said on an exhale. “Thanks for giving me something to smile about.”

  As Louella walked toward her home, Abigail stopped her with words that were meant to soothe. “Every day we’re living can bring something to smile about, my queen.”

  Louella nodded and gave Abigail a half smile, then turned to go on her way, but Abigail wasn’t finished.

  “I still remember what you told me.” A tear drifted down Abigail’s right cheek. “And it guides everything I say and do.”

  Louella’s eyebrow arched. Nothing important that she’d said to Abigail came to mind.

  “Remember several years ago you told me that the truth would set me free?”

  Louella nodded. They had left bondage and were headed for better days, then Lily died. “But what is the truth?” She didn’t know anymore and truly needed God to open her eyes.

  Putting a hand on Louella’s shoulder, Abigail said, “The truth is, everything didn’t go the way you planned it, but life can still be good, and we all still need your compassion and your guidance.”

  Louella hugged her friend. “Thank you, Abigail.”

  “Don’t thank me. It’s the truth. We love you, and Femi and I are here to help with whatever you need, so please call on us.”

  Tears cascaded down Louella’s face as she made it to her front porch. She needed a moment before going inside. She sat down on her throne. But as she looked to the right where William’s throne was, all she saw was an empty space. Rage overtook her. Robert could have the kingdom and all that was in it, but he could not have her husband’s throne.

  She wiped the tears from her face and marched next door to Robert’s house. Even though they were next-door neighbors, Robert’s house was on the North Carolina side while Louella’s house was on the South Carolina side. She liked the fact that her brother-in-law was a whole state away from her. She wished he was on the farthest side of North Carolina so she wouldn’t have to see him so often.

  “Robert Montgomery, come out here and face me. I’ve got something to say to you!” she yelled as she stood in front of his house.

  Robert opened his door, folded his arms across his chest, and stared at her as if she had gone mad. “Why you making all this noise in front of my home?”

  “I see what you done.” Using her index and middle fingers, she pointed from her eyes to Robert’s. “But I’m not gon’ let you get away with it.”

  “Get away with what? What you talking ’bout?” Robert stepped onto the porch.

  He was standing next to the throne. The throne that had been hand carved for William—the throne that had been on her porch. She pointed a finger at it. “How dare you take that chair off my porch. It doesn’t belong to you! It doesn’t belong to you!” she kept screaming.

  She was yelling so loud that doors opened and residents of the Happy Land peeked out. Louella didn’t care. It was high time she let this so-called king know what she thought of him.

  “Calm down, Louella. I didn’t steal William’s throne. I only brought the chair over here so I could serve the people while you’re in mourning.”

  “‘Serve the people.’” She scoffed, turning this way and that, looking at the land she and William labored over. “You never served anyone but yourself. You’ll never have the heart your brother had for these people. They never should have made you king.”

  Robert looked past her, waved a hand. “Come over here and help me.”

  Louella turned to see who he was talking to. Harold and Ambrose were standing behind her. “Help you with what? If you think they gon’ move me away from your door, think again. I’m not leaving until I get what I came for.”

  Robert didn’t reply to her. He told Harold and Ambrose, “Can you move this chair back to Louella’s porch?”

  Her mouth went slack. Was he giving the chair back without a fight? Ambrose and Harold picked up the chair and carried it back to her house. As they moved the chair, she was still standing in front of Robert’s house, mouth itching to let everything spill out.

  But Robert turned back to her and said, “I apologize. I never meant to upset you. You’re my brother’s widow, and I’ll do whatever needs doing to help the Happy Land. You have nothing to fear from me.”

  There was so much more she wanted to scream and shout at him, but his apology softened her. Made her take a few steps back. She nodded and walked back to her house.

  “You okay, sis?” Ambrose asked when she sat back down on the porch.

  She reached out and held on to William’s throne as she turned to Ambrose. “I’m trying to get to okay. Think I need a little more time, though.”

  “Good . . . good,” Ambrose said and then went inside the house, scurrying away from her grief.

  Breathe in . . . breathe out.

  When Ambrose opened the door, Waties and Joshua ran out. Waties sat in his father’s chair and Joshua jumped in her lap. “Mommy, I’ve been waiting on you to read me a story.”

  Breathe in . . . breathe out. “Oh my goodness, I almost forgot about story time.” She was about to get up and go in the house when Clara came running over to her.

  “Got me some good news today!” Clara shouted.

  While Joshua bounced in her arms, Louella smiled at Clara. “What’s got you so excited?”

  “Patricia Ann gave birth to my first grandchild. I’m so thrilled, I had to share my good news with somebody.”

  “I’m glad you shared it with me. What did she have?”

  “A little boy. They’re naming him Jimmy Freeman Jr.” Clara grinned and then held out her hands to Joshua.

  He left Louella’s lap and climbed into Clara’s arms. “He doesn’t leave me for nobody but you or Mama Sue.”

  Looking at Joshua with adoring eyes, Clara said, “We became fast friends the day I took care of him.”

  The day William died, Louella thought.

  “Honestly, though, I was terrified that he wasn’t going to make it, but once his fever broke, I knew he’d stay here with us.” She kissed Joshua’s cheek, then added, “He’s a gift from God.”

  Louella was still coming to terms with the gift God had allowed to slip away, so she didn’t know how to respond to that. “Are you going to Hendersonville to see your grandson?”

  Joshua started fidgeting in Clara’s arms. Louella set him back on her lap. “Yes, ma’am. That’s the other reason I ran over here. I’m gon’ need someone to fill in for me at the Poseys’.”

  “How long you going for?”

  “I’m thinking two weeks. Jimmy wants me to help Patricia Ann with the baby while she’s recovering from the delivery.”

  “Don’t worry about a thing. Enjoy your new grandbaby. I’ll find someone to take your place.”

  “Thank you so much. I better head back home so I can pack. Jimmy’s waiting on me.”

  “Tell Jimmy I said congratulations.” Clara’s joy was overflowing. Louella was happy for her friend. As Clara walked away, Louella looked over at Waties sitting in his father’s chair like a big boy and then at Joshua as he bounced in her lap.

  Maybe her children and Clara’s grandchild were a part of the goodness of the Lord. Maybe they were on this earth for as long as God allowed to impart goodness into their children and their children’s children.

  * * *

  A few days later, Louella was in her room with Waties and Joshua playing a game of tickle and enjoying the sound of her sons’ laughter when a knock came on her front door.

  Mama Sue hollered to Louella, “I got it.”

  “Who is it?” Louella asked while getting off the floor and wiping her hands on her skirt. Joshua was still rolling around on the floor giggling.

  A smile crept across her face like a cobweb across a window, one strand at a time. Then Mama Sue hollered back, “It’s the king.” And the strands broke.

  Louella’s eyes shifted heavenward. She expelled a do-I-have-to-do-this-today sigh, then headed for the front of the house. Freshly burning wood from the fireplace filled the air. Mama Sue put a pot on the fire as Louella stepped onto the porch. Her hands were folded across her chest. Lips tight. “Robert.”

  “I’m sorry if I disturbed you, but I came to discuss a few matters of importance concerning the kingdom.”

  Her lip curled as she leaned against the post. “I thought you men did whatever you please around here. Can’t imagine what you need to discuss with me.”

  “For one,” Robert began, “the teamsters are headed out. They need money for the supplies they bring back.”

  Louella walked back into the house. She went over to the fireplace, moved a piece of the granite, then took out several coins. Walking back outside and down the steps to where Robert stood holding on to the banister, she put the money in his hand and then headed back up the steps without so much as a goodbye.

  “When you’re ready, we need to talk. We can’t rule the Happy Land together if you and I can’t communicate.”

  The wind whistled through the trees and the tall grass. The grass turned with each gust, moving like the sway of her emotions. If they were blades, they would cut. “What communication do you speak of? I don’t remember no communication when you claimed the mantle of king before the dust had dried over my dear William’s grave.”

  “That wasn’t my doing. The people wanted a king.”

  The elongation of her neck was profound, with the lifting of her head and the thunder in her voice. “They had a queen.”

  Robert stood there a moment, staring up at Louella as if seeing something that froze him in his steps. Sighing, he said, “I didn’t come over here to fight with you. I’m sorry for the misunderstandings we’ve had through the years.”

  Her eyes filled with fire, but she said not a word.

  “You are the rightful queen of the Happy Land. The people need you. But they need me as well.” When she still didn’t say anything, his voice rose. “We can help each other, if you allow it.”

  She lifted her hand and pointed out toward the houses, the fields, and all the things that she had envisioned for the place they would call home. “My husband and I built all of this. Brick by brick, timber by timber. We put together a system that prospers us all, so I will not dishonor him by standing aside while you tear it all down.”

  Robert rubbed the front of his forehead with three of his fingers. “William was my brother, Louella. I want to honor him too. But you can’t keep fighting against me.”

  His words penetrated the space between them. William loved his brother, flaws and all. She could hear her husband somewhere in the whip of the wind urging her to be forgiving and to do the right thing for the kingdom.

  She stuck her hand out to him. “All right, then. We rule together.”

  Robert smiled, climbed the steps, and shook her hand. “You won’t be sorry. We’ll do this for William.”

  She hoped and prayed that Robert wouldn’t do anything to make her regret this truce. As he walked back down the stairs, she told him, “Don’t think you can play me for a fool. We’re equal partners in this, and I’ll make sure of it.”

  Part 5

  Cracks in the Kingdom

  1882–1889

  Chapter 34

  “What a fine, glorious morning it is,” Robert said while holding the reins of his horse and guiding it down the long winding hill.

  Louella was seated next to Robert. After years of struggling, the two had finally come to terms with each other. The Happy Land had grown to over four hundred people. Louella couldn’t meet the needs of all those people by herself, and neither could Robert. Working together had been good for the kingdom.

  They were headed to the Henderson Courthouse to file papers for the hundred and eighty acres of land they’d purchased from John Goodwin, by way of Serepta Davis, a few years back.

  Sarah’s husband, John, handled all property matters for Serepta. The day they approached him to purchase more land, he’d said, “I was skeptical about you people when you first arrived here, but except for that king and queen business, you’ve been no trouble at’tal.” He signed over the land without further complaint.

  “It’s a right fine day, I must agree.” Louella wore a bonnet and white gloves. The crisp March air was ripe for the shawl the women had gifted her at Christmas.

  “Thankfully, we’ve already cleared the land we purchased.”

  Louella nodded. “We’ve got the lumber and the bricks. We’ll start building again shortly.”

  The last few years had been good for the Happy Land. The waggoners carried dried fruit, meat, lard, potatoes, and other vegetables tilled and produced in the Happy Land to the farther parts of North and South Carolina. They sold all the produce, lard, and meat to stores and stagecoach stops. They even set up their own farmers’ market from time to time, purchased needed supplies, and then brought the remainder of the profits back to the kingdom. Robert held the money in their treasury, and he and Louella doled it out to the residents as needed.

  Times were good, and Louella had to admit that having Robert help her lead their people hadn’t been so bad. He had settled into life in the Happy Land and wasn’t gone for months on end anymore—more like a week every month. While he was gone, she didn’t have to discuss any decisions that needed to be made with him, and that was fine with Louella.