A last chance christmas, p.8

  A Last Chance Christmas, p.8

A Last Chance Christmas
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  All movement stopped as the room filled with the sound of their tortured breathing.

  “Oh, Molly.” He gulped in air. “I’m so sorry.”

  “Don’t you dare be sorry!”

  He leaned his forehead against hers. “But I lost control. I swore I wouldn’t do that.”

  She struggled to breathe. “Because I made you, right?”

  “Yes. No! I should be able to—”

  “I’m too powerful.”

  Slowly he lifted his head and gazed down at her. Then a slow smile turned into a low chuckle. “Yeah. You are small but mighty. I’m a helpless servant who worships at your feet.”

  “Or sometimes a little higher.”

  “Whenever I can get away with it.” He searched her expression. “Are you really okay?”

  “Yes.”

  “Would you tell me if you weren’t?”

  “Of course. That was incredible. I’ve never had sex like that.”

  “Me, either.” He leaned down and kissed her gently. “Thank you. I’ll be right back. Don’t go away.”

  “I have no intention of going away. Not after a performance like that.”

  “We’re sleeping after this, just so you know.” Easing away from her, he left the bed. But as he started out of the room, he paused and swore. It wasn’t an angry response, just an irritated one.

  She couldn’t imagine what had made him react like that. “Is something wrong?” She sat up.

  “Not really. No worries.” He left the room quickly.

  She thought about the incident until he came back. Only one thing explained his behavior, and if she was right about what had happened, she needed to know about it.

  When he returned, she was ready for him. “Ben, did the condom break?”

  His expression gave her the answer.

  “That’s what I thought.” Her mind sorted through the options. She’d never been in this position before, but she’d figure it out. “I think we need to—”

  “We don’t need to do anything.”

  “That’s not exactly true. We just met, so pregnancy wouldn’t be a good thing under the circumstances. I—”

  “You won’t get pregnant.”

  She didn’t appreciate his cavalier attitude. “You don’t know that. My family is extremely fertile. They get pregnant like that.” She snapped her fingers.

  “I’ve had a vasectomy.”

  She had her mouth open to offer more arguments for treating this as a serious situation, but she closed it and stared at him. “I guess you really don’t want kids.”

  “No.”

  She waited to see if he’d elaborate. He didn’t, which told her she’d guessed right. This was a sensitive topic. “I guess you wore the condom for health reasons.”

  “No. My last girlfriend was a nurse. She wouldn’t go to bed with any guy unless he had a clean bill of health. Once she found out about my vasectomy, she was thrilled that we didn’t have to use anything.”

  “Oh.” The thought of him having sex with another woman didn’t sit well with her, but that wasn’t the issue here. “Were you worried about me?”

  “Of course not. I’m sure you’re squeaky clean.”

  She was, but that wasn’t the issue, either. “So why didn’t you suggest we go without?” He’d been willing to have this frank discussion with another woman, after all.

  “Partly because we’d just met, and it’s one of those lame things guys try to get away with.”

  “You thought I wouldn’t believe you.”

  “Right.”

  “Why did your last girlfriend believe you?”

  He sighed and walked over to sit on the side of the bed. Then he took her hand in his. He laced his fingers through hers but didn’t look at her. “Because I told her why I’d gotten a vasectomy.”

  “Then please tell me.”

  “I think it’s a little harder to tell you.”

  That hurt. “Do I come across as judgmental? If so, I don’t mean to.”

  He looked into her eyes. “You come across as someone who’s known nothing but loving kindness all her life. I hate the idea of bringing ugliness into that world. Maddie wasn’t like that. She was… I guess you could say she was jaded. Oddly enough, that was why I broke up with her. She was too cynical and that began to bother me.”

  “Oh, Ben.” Heart breaking for him, she cupped his cheek and searched his gaze. “What in God’s name has happened to you?”

  “Let’s just say I didn’t have your upbringing, and I’m afraid I might repeat that pattern. I can’t risk it.”

  She thought he probably was wrong about himself, but he might not believe her if she said so. She could also sense that he didn’t want to talk about his past and how it had shaped him.

  “Ah, Molly.” He lifted their clasped hands and kissed her fingertips. “You feel so absolutely right, but I wonder if I’m being selfish. I can’t offer you any of the things you want.”

  “That’s not entirely true.”

  “Sex doesn’t count.”

  “Who says?”

  “I do.” He touched her cheek. “You’ll find someone who’ll give you great sex and lots of babies.”

  She squeezed his hand. “Fine. I’ll keep an eye out for that person. But in the meantime, could I please have more great sex with you? Because I really like how you do it.”

  Chapter Nine

  Ben didn’t know a guy in the world who could refuse a request like that. Besides, after two climaxes, he had the staying power to make long, slow love to Molly. She seemed to like that as much as she’d liked the wall-banging kind.

  Turned out, so did he. A whole hell of a lot, in fact. Afterward, he gathered her close and they drifted off to sleep in each other’s arms.

  He woke up before she did, experiencing an emotion that didn’t come often to him. At first he had trouble naming it, but finally he settled on the description that seemed to fit. He was contented.

  The reason was easy to figure out. He’d enjoyed amazing sex with a woman he liked well enough to sleep with in the literal sense. He hardly ever woke up with a woman. Usually he went to their place and left that same night. Staying for breakfast gave the wrong impression, as if he might be considering a more permanent arrangement.

  But he and Molly had put everything on the table, or enough that she understood why he wasn’t the one for her. He didn’t have to dredge up the past and talk about his crummy family or his fears about turning into his dad.

  Instead, they could enjoy each other and part ways as friends. If he didn’t want to think about the leaving right now, so what? Philosophers said that the trick to happiness was staying in the moment, so he’d do that. And in this moment, he was extremely happy. He couldn’t remember being happier, in fact.

  He could faintly smell cookies baking and the muted sound of people talking on the floor below. It must be after seven if the cookies were already in the oven. He still cradled Molly against the curve of his body, his arm tucked around her waist. She’d wanted to be part of the cookie situation, but setting an alarm had been the last thing on his mind and probably on hers.

  No surprise that they’d overslept. They’d worn each other out, in a good way. He’d love to stay like this a little longer, but she might not thank him for it.

  He murmured her name.

  She stirred in his arms and yawned.

  So cute, that little yawn. Funny how his feelings for her were more tender than lustful this morning. “If you still want to bake cookies, you need to get up.”

  “Cookies!” She scrambled to a sitting position and stared at him in dismay. “I forgot the cookies!”

  “Sorry. Me, too.”

  “It’s okay. Not your fault, but I have to boogie.” She left the bed, gathered up her clothes, and began tugging them on. “Thank you for a wonderful night.”

  He propped himself up on his elbow. “You’re welcome. Doing anything special tonight after the party?”

  “I hope so.”

  “Would it happen to involve coming back here?”

  She laughed. “Yes, unless you’d rather come to my room where we’d probably end up falling off the double bed.”

  “No, thanks. I’ll meet you back here in about…” He glanced over at the small clock on the nightstand. “About eighteen hours, give or take.”

  “That’s a long time.”

  “I know. Want to schedule a rendezvous in the middle of the day?”

  After pulling her sweater over her head, she looked at him. “I’d love to, but I don’t think we dare. The house will be full of people today. I’ll be pretty busy, and besides, somebody might come up here. I wouldn’t want them to hear us, or worse yet, walk in on us.”

  “Which brings up another important point. How do you want to play this?”

  She was quiet for a little too long. “I don’t know.”

  He couldn’t blame her for being hesitant to reveal what was going on between them. She was a part of this family and her behavior would come under some scrutiny as a result. Even though she was an adult capable of making her own decisions, Sarah might feel a certain responsibility for her.

  “We’ll keep it to ourselves,” he said, letting her off the hook.

  “Thank you.” Relief showed in her expression. “It’s not that I’m ashamed of what we’ve done. It’s just—”

  “Never mind. I get it. You don’t want your relatives to know you hopped into bed with a virtual stranger on his first night here.”

  “When you put it that way, it sounds pretty wild, doesn’t it?”

  He smiled. “It was pretty wild.”

  “Yeah.” Her voice was filled with wonder, as if she couldn’t quite believe what had happened in this room. “This is not like me, at all.”

  He sat up. “Regrets?” He said it lightly, but her answer meant more to him than he wanted to admit.

  She met his gaze. “No. Last night was amazing. I didn’t know sex could feel like that, or that I could respond the way I did. I’ll never forget what we’ve shared.”

  “That sounds like a kiss-off speech.” His chest felt tight. “Are you reconsidering meeting me after the party?”

  “Oh, no, I want to.”

  He let out his breath.

  “But last night I didn’t give much thought to how our choice could be interpreted by the rest of the family. To be honest, I wasn’t doing much thinking at all. I wanted you and that wiped out every other consideration.”

  “And now you’re worried about what others might think.”

  “I am. Maybe that’s cowardly and I should be stronger, but—”

  “Hey, you don’t have to explain.” He was a little disappointed, but he did understand. Tossing back the covers, he searched the floor for his underwear. “I am a virtual stranger.”

  “Not anymore.”

  “Nobody else will find out.” He located his briefs and pulled them on. “Not from me, anyway.”

  “Thank you, Ben.”

  “Just don’t go ogling my butt or someone might notice.”

  “I promise not to ogle your butt, although I have to say, it’s very ogle-worthy.” She grabbed her boots and jacket. “So is the rest of you.”

  “Likewise.” He stepped into his jeans.

  “Don’t be silly.”

  “I’m not being silly.” After picking up his shirt, he glanced at her. “Your body drives me out of my mind.”

  “Come on. You don’t have to say that.”

  “No, I don’t, which is why I am saying it.” He took a deep breath and let it out. His intense gaze locked with hers. “I look at you and think of how you rode my cock, your breasts bouncing, and how wet you are for me, always, and how tight, and how sliding inside you makes me want to come the minute we connect.”

  Her cheeks flushed.

  “I won’t be able to not think about that today, Molly.”

  She swallowed. “Me, either. So we’d better stay away from each other — at least, most of the time.” With a little moan of frustration, she whirled toward the door. “I’m getting out of here while I still can.”

  “Check the hall and make sure the coast is clear.”

  “I will. Tonight I’ll come down in my robe. That might help.”

  He chuckled. “It’ll certainly make it easier to get started.”

  She glanced at the box of condoms on the nightstand. “Put that back, okay?”

  “You bet.”

  Opening the door, she peered out. “Looks deserted.” Then she turned and her gaze swept over him. “You’re a beautiful man.”

  His throat tightened. “You’re a beautiful woman.”

  She gave him a quick smile before running out into the hall.

  He stepped to the door and watched until she disappeared into her room. Then he sighed. Although he wouldn’t change a single thing that had happened, she was working her way under his skin. Eventually he’d have to face the truth — a long weekend with her wouldn’t be nearly enough. But he wouldn’t worry about that today. Today he would practice ignoring her. That would be challenge enough without thinking about a future that didn’t have Molly in it.

  Chapter Ten

  Molly had never thought of herself as much of an actress, but she hoped she gave a convincing performance as she moved through the day of party preparations. Ben made good on his offer to help, which meant he was tantalizingly close by most of the time. He moved furniture with ease and his height came in handy for attaching decorations to the exposed ceiling beams.

  Not for the first time, she turned and found herself staring at his impressive package, which was currently at eye level while he stood on a ladder to hang a cluster of balloons and a Happy Birthday banner.

  She hoped nobody had caught her sudden intake of breath or the blush she’d felt rising to her cheeks. Or maybe they’d think she was a modest little thing who wasn’t used to getting up close and personal with a man endowed like Ben. Little did they know she knew all about what he kept tucked away inside his jeans.

  The bustle of preparations helped to cover any slipups on her part. Holiday traditions at the Last Chance felt familiar to Molly, which wasn’t surprising considering that her Grandpa Seth had been Nelsie’s brother. The Christmas carols blasting from the sound system in the living room were by the same artists Molly’s family loved.

  She was thrilled to arrange the nativity scene on the mantle. Her parents had an identical set that was also a little chipped, yet beloved. Nelsie had bought both sets more than seventy years ago and had given one to her brother and his wife.

  Tasks like this temporarily distracted her from thinking about Ben. Each time she finished a chore, she’d turn around, and there he’d be, doing something helpful and manly. He was the most tempting man she’d ever met.

  He treated her with casual courtesy, as if he barely noticed her. She had the perverse urge to pinch his butt and remind him that she was standing behind him as he showed off his perfect ass to every female in the vicinity.

  That urge was so unfair. She was the one who’d been reluctant to let anyone know that they’d established an extremely intimate connection on a very brief acquaintance. He was only acting the way she’d asked him to.

  Possessiveness on her part was not only unattractive but uncalled-for. They’d struck a deal — a fun romp for however long he was here followed by a cheerful parting of the ways. Under those circumstances, she had no claim on him, and he had no claim on her.

  The arrangement felt completely unreal to her, though, because she’d never entered into one like it before. She’d never gone to bed with a man who hadn’t been a potential mate. None of her three previous lovers had turned out to be her one and only, but she hadn’t known that until they’d spent some quality time together, including having sex.

  What she’d shared with them hadn’t come within a mile of what she’d discovered with Ben, and now she had a whole new concept of what made for a perfect partner. She hoped that Ben wasn’t one in a million. If so, she was in for a long search.

  Molly arrived early for lunch in the big dining room. She sat down with Sarah and Pete, who were the only two at their table so far. Ben moved on past, as if heading for a spot on the other side of the room.

  But Pete called out to him, and he turned back. “Come and sit with us,” Pete said. “I had some more thoughts on your potential breeding program. You might be interested in one of our mares, as well.”

  Ben sat down next to Pete, across the table from Molly. “Don’t know if I can afford that, yet.”

  “Maybe we could work out a deal. Time payments, or first look at the foal. There are all sorts of creative ways to do it. Jack and I talked and we want to help in any way we can.”

  Ben nodded. “That’s good to know. Where is Jack, anyway?”

  “Josie had an emergency at the bar. A pipe broke, so he’s helping her handle it.”

  “I’ve heard of that bar.” Ben picked up his sandwich. “Supposed to be haunted, right?”

  “Yes.” Sarah laughed. “That’s why Josie renamed it the Spirits and Spurs. Some claim my late father-in-law is one of the ghosts who makes an appearance from time to time. He used to stop in for a beer whenever Nelsie went into town to shop.”

  “Archie’s supposed to be one of the ghosts?” This was the first Molly had heard of it. “That needs to go into my notes. I have this feeling I’m missing all kinds of things that will just come out in casual conversation if I hang around long enough.”

  “That’s true.” Sarah sent her a fond glance. “You need to come back. You have summers off, right?”

  “Sort of. I usually teach one session of summer school.” She felt Ben’s gaze on her. If she returned this summer, they could pick up where they left off. He’d be in Sheridan, which wasn’t that far away, and in summer the drive would be easy. They wouldn’t have to say goodbye forever.

  “Then think about flying back up here,” Pete said. “We’ve loved having you. You fit right in.”

  “Thank you. That sounds great.” But she wasn’t so sure it was a good idea. This time with Ben was short and sweet. When they parted, they’d make a clean break. If she came back, though, the relationship automatically became more complicated.

 
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