“Fuck it.”

  I pushed open the door to Bryan’s truck and took off into the trees.

  Chapter Twelve

  One year when Joy and I were still little, our mother took us to the Southwest Florida fair. We were so excited because she usually couldn’t afford to take us to do things that weren’t free. But I guess she had won tickets from the radio station for all of us, including wrist bands to ride the rides. So, the week leading up to the fair we were overly excited, singing the theme song as we walked home from school or rode around in the car.

  Gonna have some fun in the Fort Myers sun at the Southwest Florida Fair!

  It was probably one of our best memories up to that point. Even our mother, who was usually nervous and a little sad and worried, seemed to have a good time at the fair. We begged and pleaded and she even let us throw ping pong balls to win a goldfish. Joy managed to land her ball in one of the bowls to win a fish. We took it home and she named it Garfield. She put it in a bowl and fed it and learned how to take care of it. Garfield grew big and was the only pet we were ever allowed to have.

  Then one day when Joy wouldn’t let me have a turn on the television, I lost it. My rage at my little sister had been building and growing for years, unchecked. My mother hadn’t met our stepfather yet, and it was just us surviving together in our little two-bedroom government housing unit. I wanted all of my mother’s attention all the time. I wanted all of her limited resources and love. Somehow, Joy always seemed to get just a little more of our mother. A little more of everything.

  I shudder now to think of what I did to Garfield. The way Joy’s little face twisted in terror as I exterminated the one thing she loved and cared for more than anything. Even worse was the surge of pleasure that I got from causing her pain. It only lasted for a moment, and then afterwards, when I realized what I had done, did the regret settle in. I never did anything like that before or again, and I never wanted to.

  I don’t think that Joy ever really got over what I did to her pet fish. I don’t think she ever really forgave me. I guess I can’t blame her. I don’t know if I ever got over it either. I’m not sure why Garfield the goldfish swam through my thoughts as I ran away from Bryan’s truck that day. I hadn’t thought of “the incident” in years, but now as I stumbled through the woods surrounding Palmetto Lake, the feeling of guilt returned to me. I was a bad sister. I was a bad daughter, too. And maybe, even more importantly, deep down, I was a bad person.

  I abandoned my flip flops shortly after making my escape into the woods; they were more useless than helpful anyway and kept slipping under my feet and tripping me over roots. I was better off barefoot, even though I had no idea where — or what — I was running to. All I knew is that I needed to get away. I needed to put as much distance between myself and the lake and that cult of retired assholes as soon as I possibly could.

  I chanced a look over my shoulder as I ran; the association didn’t seem to be following me at least. That didn’t stop my heart from exploding out of my chest or my breath from coming in wet, ragged gasps. I wasn’t in the best shape, but I knew I couldn’t stop for anything. My life and everything else depended on it. I ran across pine cones hidden under soft needle carpets, barely feeling the sting of their sharp edges against the pads of my feet. I ran until my lungs became a furnace, my legs molten lava and my mouth an arid desert. I ran because it was all I could do. I ran because I wanted to see my girls again.

  Finally, after what felt like an eternity, I slowed and stopped. The lake was far behind me, and there wasn’t a single building, road or person in sight. It was only me and the whispering oaks, the drone of the insects and the crunch of leaves under my weight. I leaned against an old acacia and rubbed at a stitch in my ribcage. I closed my eyes and doubled over against the pain. I didn’t have a phone or money or even shoes. I was lost and certain that I was being followed. Was I even running in the right direction?

  When my pulse and breathing slowed, I straightened up and opened my eyes. I could feel the presence of my mother on me again like a weighted blanket before I even saw her. She walked toward me this time, the dark mist no longer surrounding her. She was younger now, just as I remembered her when I was a girl. She smiled as she approached, a warm aura surrounding her, and I was not afraid.

  “Why?” I said. “Why did you do it?”

  My mother only smiled and stood before me, glowing and effervescent.

  “Why did you bring us here?” I whispered. “Why?”

  Then, like before, my mother reached out her hand. She touched a glowing finger to my forehead and I closed my eyes. In that moment I bore witness to the secret that she had been keeping from me and Joy for all these years. The answer to all of the questions about who I was, who she was, and why my life had come to that very point were revealed to me in one terrifying flash of memory.

  “No.” A single tear fell from my eye. I shook my head and wailed. “No!”

  My heart overflowed with anguish as the images of my mother’s tortured youth were revealed to me. Her own father — my grandfather — defiling her over and over again as the association watched under the light of the moon. Then, pain. Isolation. A few bright moments of peace as I came along and afterwards, Joy. Then darkness and fear again as she ran from home with us under the cover of night. My mother’s pain was my own, buried in my heart like a dagger as she gazed into my eyes and told me the horrible truth. I could feel her sorrow, her humility. Her eyes begged for forgiveness.

  “Why?” I sobbed and shook my head. “Why didn’t you ever tell us? How can this be true?”

  She sighed and leaned in, her body glowing and crackling electric as she embraced me one last time. I saw her and my stepfather hiding in the trees, watching us from afar during the summer we visited my grandparents. I saw my mother begging and pleading for my grandparents to release us from the bonds of the association. All of her love flowed through me and she whispered something in my ear that I will never forget. Something that shot through me like a bullet and sparked me back to life. Something that made me want to run.

  They eat their young.

  The specter of my mother disappeared as voices and footsteps fell behind me. I pumped my arms at my side and moved faster than ever now through the trees until the voices in the distance faded again. The sun was even lower now and I knew time was running out before I would be lost in the dark, but I pressed on. I knew that the road couldn’t be too far, and I was right. My spirits lifted as the sound of traffic grew louder and louder. I was going to make it!

  Finally, a clearing through the trees led me to the main road into town. I ignored the knife of pain in my side and let out an exhausted laugh as my feet touched the pavement. The ground beneath my feet was warm and welcome after my barefoot trek through the forest. I was going to be safe. I was going to finally get help. I raised an arm to the passing motorists, sending out a silent plea to the universe that someone would take pity on me.

  A SUV passed me first, its headlights flashing in my eyes. I waved my arms over my head, but the driver continued on at full speed. After that, a sedan driven by an older woman passed. She only slowed long enough to sneer at me. Next was a van full of teens who whooped and hollered as they drove by, but also didn’t bother to stop. I nearly gave up until a pair of headlights slowed and rolled to a stop in front of me. It was nearly dark, and I had almost completely given up hope of rescue.

  “Hey, thank you!” I waved. “Can I get a ride into town?”

  The driver of the truck stepped out and I held a hand to my eyes to shield against the light. My heart sank as he spoke.

  “You know I can’t do that, right Summer?” Bryan propped his hands on his hips.

  I turned to run back into the forest, but the association was already there. I was surrounded. Somewhere in the distance a barred owl hooted out a long and lonely call.

  Nighttime had arrived.

  Chapter Thirteen

  It was the end of the line for me. Overpowered and overwhelmed, I was forced into the back seat of Bryan’s truck, gagged with my hands bound behind my back. Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t escape; two association members guarded me at each side as we bumped along the unpaved country road toward Palmetto Lake. I had nowhere else to run, no way to call for help. No one to even know where I was.

  I had been scared before, but now I was just angry. Something inside clicked. My terror turned to rage the moment they held me against my will and forced me in to the back of the truck. I had frozen up too many times before, doubted myself too many times. I should have listened to my instincts, no matter how the situation sounded. I swore as they drove me back toward the lake that I wouldn’t freeze up again. They weren’t going to take me down without a fight.

  A tow truck passed us as we re-entered the Palmetto Lake neighborhood. My last hope of being saved, gone in a whirl of dust and rubber tires. Roadside assistance obviously didn’t wait around long for me to show up. I didn’t blame them. I wouldn’t want to wait around either.

  After only a few minutes of driving, Bryan pulled up in front of the pavilion and threw his truck into park. Even though it felt like I had hiked miles through the forest, I obviously hadn’t gotten that far.

  Bryan cut the engine and smiled back at me as though everything was fine. As though holding me captive in his back seat was normal. “I’m glad you’re going to be able to join us tonight after all.”

  “We’ll take her in.” One of the association members said. I recognized him from the association barbecue and the cook book; the grill master with the giant plate of barbecued meat.

  “Thanks. I’ll go back up to the house and finish getting mom ready.”

  “Good job today, son.”

  Son. I choked a laugh from behind my gag. Of course.

  “Well, come on,” Bryan’s dad said. “Everyone is waiting for you.”

  He looped his arm through mine, guiding me toward the pavilion as his black robe swished against my legs. The sun had set bringing with it the beginnings of an inky evening sky, but a hint of late afternoon glow still hung just above the horizon. Lightning bugs hovered lazily around the palm fronds that encircled the base of the forest as twilight settled in. It would have been the beginning of a lovely summer evening in Central Florida in any other situation.

  “Now, Summer, did you know that you were named after this day?” Bryan’s father asked, releasing the gag around my mouth. “Go ahead and scream if you want. No one from the neighborhood will mind.”

  “Fuck you.” I spat. Despite my anger, I was stuck. I had nothing better to do than ask. I threw him another dagger-filled glare. “What do you mean, I was named after this day?”

  “Summer! The solstice of course. Longest day of the year.” Bryan’s father and the other association member sat me down on a bench under the pavilion. “Also the day you were conceived. Your mother pushed back against it, of course, but then, Serena was always a problem child.”

  My mother’s name in his mouth only added to my rage. Still, this monologuing kidnapper was offering up information that I had never heard before. A quick calculation told me that my birthday in late March matched up with what he was saying. I remembered the horrific scene my mother had shown me, one that I wished I could scrub from my brain. The silhouettes of the association standing guard all around as my mother was brutalized, a full solstice moon overhead. In that instance, I wanted revenge for her; for what they did to her. I ground my molars together until my temples throbbed and listened.

  Bryan’s father leaned down and placed his hands on his thighs so we were eye-to-eye. “Did you also know that there’s a full moon every fifteen years on the night of the summer solstice?”

  I blinked and gave him my best death stare. “No.”

  “Well, there is. That makes this a very special night for the association.”

  Bryan’s father straightened up and clapped his hands together. “But I guess you’ll find out about that soon enough.”

  My heart thudded away at a steady pace as I sized up my surroundings. Two large alligators were laid out belly-up on two parallel picnic tables at the front of the pavilion. I could only assume they were the same two alligators from that morning that were placed outside my RV. At the head of the pavilion someone had assembled what I could only describe as an altar of sorts; a podium draped in a white cloth and illuminated with candles. I instantly recognized the sun and palm frond insignia printed on the fabric as the same one from the cookbook. On top of the altar were perhaps the most chilling items of all; two identical black lacquered boxes.

  “What are you going to do to me?” My eyes flashed at Bryan’s father, and the other association member that was still standing guard.

  Bryan’s father winked. “Don’t worry. We’re not out to hurt you.”

  A tremor of rage wracked through my body as I sat on the edge of the picnic table, seething. In the distance, a half dozen or so cloaked association members stood at the edge of the lake, their hands joined and each of them humming the same tune. There was no sign of Joy anywhere.

  “Where’s my sister?”

  Bryan’s dad exchanged a sideways glance with the other association member. “You’ll see her soon.”

  “This is bullshit.” I laughed. “My husband is going to call the cops. I’m supposed to be home by now. You’re all screwed.”

  “Right.” Bryan’s father scratched the back of his neck. “Well, if they do, I’m sure Officer Harmon will help us smooth things over again.”

  I closed my eyes and breathed in deep through my nose. “What is that supposed to mean?”

  “It means that the local law enforcement lets us do our thing out here.” The other association member said. “We usually get them to see things our way.”

  “That’s enough chewin’ the fat for now.” Bryan’s father said, a hint of warning in his voice.

  “Oh, you finally caught up with Summer!” Darla, dressed in a black robe, her hair perfectly coiffed and makeup impeccable, approached with a smile. “Hey, honey. Do you need a glass of water or somethin’?”

  A glimmer of hope crossed my mind for a moment. In my heart I already knew it was hopeless to try and appeal to the sympathies of anyone in the community, but I had to try. Maybe there was still a chance. Desperation took over as I locked my gaze with hers. Tears flowed and I choked out a sobbing plea.

  “Darla! Can you get them to untie me? Please?”

  “No, sugar. I’m afraid I can’t.” Darla pouted. “You’ll just run again and then we’ll miss our window for the celebration.”

  “Celebration?” My eyes darted from one cloaked association member to another. “I don’t want to celebrate anything with you sick fucks!”

  “It’s a once in a lifetime opportunity, darlin’.” Darla tsked. “Well, once every fifteen years. But only if we have a valid association member that’s of age that is…”

  “Darla, you’re running your mouth again.” Bryan’s father warned. “Why don’t you go in and see if you can help my boy with Lucille?”

  “Sure, Hank.” Darla winced, gave him a pained-looking grin and turned toward the Attaway house.

  “Hank.” I cleared my throat, trying to regain my composure. I still wasn’t above groveling and trying to talk my way out of the situation. “I don’t think you’ve all thought this through. My husband and I are wealthy. We could work something out.”

  “There’s no amount of money you could offer us to stop what’s going to happen tonight.” Hank laughed.

  My shoulders tightened as a familiar figure emerged from the shadows, and any last shred of hope I may have been clinging too withered. Joy parted from the group of association members, resplendent, beautiful and dressed in a black robe to match the other members.

  “Summer! You’re here!” Joy floated toward me, hands clasped at her bosom. She was glowing with health. Radiant. “I was worried that you wouldn’t be able to join us.”

  “Joy, you’ve gotta snap out of it.” I sucked in a ragged breath of air. “Please. I don’t want any part in whatever this is.”

  Joy frowned and shook her head. “It’s too late, Summer. We’ve always had a part in this. It has to be this way.”

  “No, it doesn’t! Joy!”

  My pleas were ignored as the members of the association ascended upon the pavilion. It was darker than ever now, and one of the members had illuminated the lanterns all around the perimeter. More than a dozen cloaked figures — all members of the association — filed into the pavilion one after the other. But it was when Bryan appeared at the opposite end of the shelter that the evening really took a strange turn.

  Like the others, Bryan was dressed in a black robe, his cheeks flushed and sunkissed hair perfectly brushed across his forehead. But he didn’t come alone. Bryan gently pushed a wheelchair to the head of the pavilion, its occupant — who I could only assume was his mother — was also cloaked in black. The sight of her stole the air from my lungs and brought everything crashing down around me.

  “Are you comfortable?” Bryan helped the figure in the chair sit up.

  The figure in the wheelchair was a woman, that much was clear, but there was something terribly, horribly wrong with her. Bryan had mentioned that his mother was sick, but there was something unnatural about the loose, gray nature of her skin and the way it sagged around the sockets of her eyes. It was almost as though she was wearing a skin suit that had begun to age and decay and had grown too loose for its wearer.

  “Is she here?” The woman whispered.

  Bryan nodded and pointed in my direction. “Look.”

  The woman cast her milky gaze toward me from across the pavilion. Time stood still as we stared at one another and a horror of realization tapped at my spine. The way her lanky auburn hair fell to her shoulders. The thin-lipped smile and slight silhouette. She could have been my mothers twin. She could have been me. I could only stare as she sat slumped, weak and ragged on her throne, smiling at me behind purpled lips.