Rose was being very efficient as usual. She insisted on going over everything from the entire weekend and there was a lot. Everything went extremely well and at the end of the meeting she showed me the financials as a whole. After all the bars and the campground and ticket sales and everything was added up and everything was paid for, I almost fell off my chair. She and Don loved my reaction.

  “Are you kidding me?” I asked.

  “No, Ethan. You did very well for one weekend, I’d have to say!” Rose said.

  “Shit! I think that’s more than I usually make in an entire season.”

  “Yes, it is!” Rose answered. She was really proud of me.

  “Thank you guys for everything you’ve done for me and sticking beside me even when things got pretty rough.” I couldn’t have done it without them.

  They both just smiled. “Where’s Gia?” Don asked.

  “I took her back to the city. She has to work tomorrow,” I told them.

  “She seems really nice, dear.” Rose said and Don nodded.

  “She’s amazing.” I smiled.

  They were happy I’d met someone special and we visited for a little while longer before they left.

  As soon as they did I grabbed my phone and called Hotness. It rang only once and her voicemail answered. Shit! I quickly convinced myself that she was really tired and went to bed. I was really tired too, so I left her a message and went to brush my teeth. As I did I thought about all the fun Gia and I had in this bathroom the last few days. I’d give anything to have her here right now brushing her teeth beside me.

  When I crawled into my bed, I immediately went to Gia’s pillow and took a deep breath. It smelled just like her. I had to sleep where she’d slept. I couldn’t wait until tomorrow so I could talk to her. We had to work this out and pick up where we’d left off.

  I think I woke up every hour all through the night. I couldn’t rest not knowing how Gia was, if she was thinking about me, and if she was then what was she thinking? I was driving myself crazy. I wanted to see if she’d still look at me the same way and I didn’t know if I could wait until Wednesday evening to find out, but I might have to depending on what she said to me tomorrow. I needed to get some sleep.

  I decided when I woke up at six to get up. I’d call Gia in half an hour. She should be up and getting ready to go to work by then. I took a shower and made something to eat. I grabbed my phone, found ‘Hotness,’ and called. It only rang once and I got her voicemail again. I left her another message. My stomach felt uneasy. I really needed to hear her voice and see if she was still bothered about the Bridget thing. I called the flower shop but they weren’t open yet. I didn’t want Gia to go to work before I got to talk to her, so I texted her. Then I just waited.

  Chapter 14

  Gia

  When I woke up I still had the card Ethan sent with the flowers on my chest. I was feeling really depressed and was glad I didn’t have to go to work. I picked up my phone, it was seven fifteen. I had a text from my biggest fan and a few voicemail messages. First message was from Dana. She knew I was home since I had picked up my car and she wanted to chat about the weekend. Next message was from Ethan. He’d just finished his meeting and hoped I was doing okay. He missed me and couldn’t wait to talk to me in the morning. Next message was from Ethan, too. It was about forty-five minutes ago.

  “Good morning, beautiful,” he said. “I was hoping you’d be up and getting ready for work by now. I hope you had a good night and I’m anxious to hear your voice. Gia, I’m sorry. Please call me. Bye.” He sounded sad.

  Then I read the text. It came right after the last voicemail.

  Please call me

  before u go to

  work. I can’t

  wait until tonite

  to talk to u.

  He was waiting for me to call but I didn’t want to right now. I was trying to figure things out. I needed some time. I didn’t want to get hurt again. I couldn’t deal with that on top of the other stuff I hadn’t dealt with yet. I grabbed the phone book and opened the yellow pages to ‘therapists.’ I looked up and down the pages. My stomach felt nauseous. I didn’t need to do this right now I decided. I got up and looked out the window. It looked like it was going to be a beautiful day. I walked back to the couch and went back to sleep.

  I dreamt about Ethan. It was so real. We were making love. He looked into my eyes and he told me I was the only woman he’d ever wanted. He wanted me to move in with him and let him take care of me forever. I held back, but somehow he knew everything about me and he still wanted me. My heart was full to bursting and tears were running down my face. Then Lex walked into Ethan’s house and told me to get in the car and go home. I looked at Lex, then at Ethan. I could feel my heart breaking as I grabbed my clothes and ran to the door. When I went outside, Bridget and Shelley were standing there laughing and pointing at me. I jumped in my car and took off as fast as I could. I was crying so hard I could hardly breathe. I turned my music up really loud…even though I was long gone, I could still hear their laughter. I pushed the gas pedal to the floor. Before I knew it, I lost control. As my car was flying off the edge of a cliff, I woke up.

  I just lay there on the couch thinking of the dream. I was used to having bad dreams and it certainly wasn’t one of the worst I’d had. I went to my purse and grabbed a cigarette. I never smoked in my apartment but I didn’t care right now. I lit it and took a drag. It tasted fantastic. I went to the fridge and grabbed a half empty bottle of wine and an empty can off the counter to use as an ashtray and took them back to the couch. I drank right out of the bottle and smoked three cigarettes in a row. I was starting to feel a little better.

  I went back to the kitchen to see what else I had to drink. I had some tequila that Dana and I had used to make some margaritas a while back so I grabbed that. It tasted disgusting but I managed to take a couple of shots anyway. Then I laid down and tried to go back to sleep, but I was restless, so I went to the bathroom and dug through the bottom drawer and found the sleeping pills I had hidden in there. I went back to the couch and took one with a swig of the nasty tequila. I laid back down and closed my eyes.

  I thought I heard my door buzzer at one time but managed to sleep through it. The next time I woke up completely I looked at the clock and it was three p.m. I still had my phone on silent mode and didn’t even bother to look to see if I had any messages. I went to the kitchen to get something to eat and when I saw the calendar on the fridge I realized today was rent day. The thought of seeing Bridget was overwhelming. I went back to the couch and took another sleeping pill and two more shots of tequila. I put my ear buds in and picked my favorite playlist. Then I sat there and smoked a cigarette before I passed out again.

  ***

  Ethan

  I sat there for a half an hour staring at my phone. I’d checked it three times to make sure it was working. Gia never called or texted. I knew she probably had to be at work by eight so I was watching the clock, too. Why wouldn’t she at least text and say she’d call me later or something, anything? I was going crazy over this. I’d never been like this over a woman. I had to try to keep myself busy today or I was going to jump in the truck and head to the city, but I didn’t want to be a stalker.

  I stuck my phone in my pocket and headed to the arena to work on some stuff. I tried to get my mind to focus on something other than Gia but it was impossible. I looked at my phone. It was seven forty-five and I knew if she had to work at eight I should be able to get through to her now so I called her. I got her voicemail again and left her another message.

  “Gia, I know by now that you’re avoiding me. Please just call or text and let me know that you’re okay. I’m suffering right now thinking that you don’t want anything to do with me because of Bridget. Is that what it is? Did I do something else, Gia? Please don’t ignore me. It’s killing me.” I hung up. I know it probably sounded desperate but that’s exactly what I was.

  I worked on a couple of projects and found that if I thought about all the beautiful things Gia and I had shared the last few days it made it a little easier to function. I decided to get some lunch.

  As I headed home, Trey pulled up in the cart. “Hey, whatcha workin’ on?”

  “Oh, just a few things I noticed yesterday morning when Gia and I drove through here. What’re you up to?” I asked him.

  “I’m headed over to VIP to work on some stuff with Vince. Want to come along?”

  “No,” I told him. “I’m gonna get some lunch and then check in on Marcus. I’ll see you later, though.”

  “Sounds good, bro.” He took off.

  When I got home I called Gia. She didn’t answer, of course, but I left her another message.

  “The only thing getting me through the day is thinking of you.” It was all I said because I’d already left the desperate message earlier and I knew she was at work and couldn’t call me back anyway. At least she knew I was thinking about her.

  I ate some lunch and then headed over to the campground. I had a good visit with Marcus and helped him with a few things he needed to get done before Friday. As long as I was keeping busy I was able to keep my sanity. I went from one project to another and finally headed home to shower and have some dinner.

  As I cooked I kept glancing at the spot on the counter where Gia had sat so many times. I thought of her swinging her legs and eating pizza that night before we made love for the first time. I took my food to the table to eat. I sat where Gia had after her sexy striptease the other day before she proved to me that hard and fast could be passionate, too.

  Taking a shower was torture. I stood under the water and when I closed my eyes, all I could see was Gia with soap running down her perfect body, begging me to take her where no one had ever taken her before. To want her like no one had ever wanted her before. To love her like no one had ever loved her before. I thought I’d done all that but here I was without her. She wouldn’t even talk to me. Did I do everything I could’ve to take her where she’d never been? To make her feel wanted more than she ever had? To show her that I loved her more than anyone else ever could? I jumped out of the shower and dried off. I ran to my dresser and grabbed some clothes. I had to go to her.

  I noticed something fall out of my drawer when I grabbed a shirt. I picked it up—it was Gia’s panties. Not the white lacy ones that I put in my pocket but the ones she wore the night we made love. The night she fulfilled the fantasy I’d had for ten years about her. I put them back, grabbed my shoes and my phone, and ran out the door.

  When I got out on the road I called her. “Gia, I’m so sorry I left yesterday. I shouldn’t have left while you were upset. I told you I’d take care of you and then the first time I upset you I left. I’m so sorry. I’m on my way to see you now. I can’t wait to see you.” I was sure I sounded crazy. I said everything so fast and my heart was pounding in my chest so hard I thought I might pass out but I wanted her to know that I knew I shouldn’t have left yesterday.

  I was about fifteen minutes away and my phone rang. My heart leaped out of my chest as I answered it immediately, thinking it might be Gia.

  “Ethan?” I wasn’t sure who it was.

  “Yes,” I said.

  “Ethan, is Gia with you?” It was Dana.

  “No. I’m on my way to her place now, though. What’s wrong, Dana?” I could hear panic in her voice.

  “Have you talked to her today?”

  “No. She won’t return my calls. I haven’t talked to her since yesterday afternoon. What’s wrong, Dana?” I asked her again. Now I was in a panic.

  “What do you mean she won’t return your calls? Did you guys have a fight or something?” She sounded like she might be crying.

  “We had a little incident. Why, Dana? You’ve got to tell me what’s going on!” I yelled.

  “No one has talked to her since yesterday. She hasn’t answered her phone or returned anyone’s calls. She knows better than to do this. I’m heading over there, too!” She hung up.

  What the fuck? I stepped on the gas. What did she mean, ‘She knows better than to do this’? No one has talked to her? Did that mean she didn’t go to work? I was driving as fast as I could and I said a prayer for Gia. Please let her be okay! I couldn’t believe I left her yesterday!

  Chapter 15

  Gia

  When I woke up again it was dark. I was glad the day was over. I felt like shit and was sure I looked like it too, but I didn’t really care. Shit! I remembered Mr. Evans. I grabbed my phone and I had to scroll through several texts before I found it. It said that we wouldn’t be working again tomorrow but it looked like Thursday was a go. I went to my computer and typed the e-mail as quickly as I could. It was nine p.m. and Mr. Evans had messaged me four hours ago. Fuck! Well, there was nothing I could do about it now.

  I checked the other messages on my phone. Dana called twice and the second time she was really pissed that I hadn’t gotten back to her yet. My sister called twice and she sounded pretty worried about me. Jo called twice and the second message said she was coming over. Ethan called three times and sounded completely distraught and said he was on his way to see me. Fuck! That message was at seven thirty and it’s a little after nine now. My first thought was that I had to get the hell out of here. Why couldn’t everyone just leave me alone and let me be for one day? Why did everyone think they had to take care of me? I looked around and saw why. I took the sleeping pills and ran them back into the bathroom and hid them. I put the almost empty bottle of tequila back in the cupboard and tossed the can with the butts in it in the garbage along with the empty wine bottle. I opened the window, and as I sprayed some air freshener, I heard my buzzer. I was shaking because I was in such a panicked state and I started to cry.

  “Yes?” I said in the speaker.

  “Open the fucking door!” It was Dana.

  I buzzed her in and opened my door. I sat on my couch and started sobbing. I knew I needed some serious help. I couldn’t believe what I’d done today. I knew better than to mix alcohol and pills and I wasn’t even supposed to have those pills in my possession. Dana would know what to do. She could help me. I was relieved she was here. I looked up and my heart stopped. Dana, Jo, and Ethan were all standing there.

  I looked back down at my hands and Ethan was next to me in a second. “Go,” I told him.

  “Gia, I’m here because I care about you. Let me help you.” He was about to cry.

  “Go, Ethan. I don’t need your help.” I never looked at him. I didn’t want him here. I didn’t want anyone here except Dana and Jo.

  “Please, Gia. Remember…” he started but I cut him off.

  “Remember what?” I yelled. I stood up and looked down at him. “Remember how we fucked all weekend just like you have with, oh, I don’t know, Ethan, how many other women exactly?” I was angry and hurt. I didn’t have anything to lose at this point.

  “Gia, it’s not like that with you. You know that.” He had tears on his cheeks.

  “Ethan, you don’t even know me! All those years you’d supposedly seen me from a distance and wanted to get to know me, that wasn’t me! That wasn’t the real me, the broken, fucked-up real me. That’s right, this is the real me! Is this what you want? I’ve been on that couch since you left yesterday. I sat here and drank alcohol, smoked cigarettes, and took sleeping pills all day just to get through the day!” His eyes got big and I heard Jo and Dana gasp. “That’s how I almost ended my life after I killed one of my babies, too! Is that ugly enough for you? How do you feel about me now, Ethan?” I was crying and shaking—he was looking right into my eyes now.

  He stood up and tried to take my hands but I wouldn’t let him touch me. “I love you, Gia,” he said softly.

  “No,” I said. “Please go.” I couldn’t face him after he knew the truth about me.

  “No,” he said. “I won’t go. Did you hear what I said?” He raised his voice this time. “Did you hear me, Gia? I love you. I know you don’t want to hear it or believe it, but it’s true. Do you know how many other women I’ve said that to? None, Gia. None.”

  I sat back down on the couch and put my head in my hands. Ethan and Jo started talking quietly and I heard Dana talking to someone on her phone. I knew this was my chance to get some help. I knew the three people in this room cared about me more than I cared about myself.

  Dana sat down next to me. “Sweetie, I just talked to your sister. She’d been trying to get ahold of you today too, and I promised I’d call her when we got here. She would’ve met us here but Pete wasn’t home from work yet and she didn’t want to bring the kids. She’s relieved you’re all right and said to tell you she loves you very much.” She was holding my hand and talking to me like I was a small child.

  I just nodded. Jo sat down on the other side of me and put her arm around my shoulders. Ethan sat down on the floor in front of me. I just kept my head down because I was ashamed of my behavior and my outburst with Ethan. I thought of what he’d just told me. What he’d just said to me that he’d never said to any of the other women. He loved me. Even after I’d told him a horrible secret about myself, he loved me. It gave me butterflies.

  ***

  Ethan

  I pulled up in front of Gia’s and jumped out of the truck as Dana and Jo were pulling up. They ran to Gia’s door. They both had been crying and I knew this was serious. I felt sick to my stomach and I wanted to bust the door down. Dana pushed the buzzer.

  “Yes?” It was Gia! Oh, thank God, she’s all right!

  “Open the fucking door!” Dana said and we were buzzed in. We all ran up the stairs and I could hear Gia crying. My heart was breaking. I was wondering what the fuck was going on! We got to the top and I saw Gia sitting on her couch. She looked up at us, shocked. She was wearing the same clothes as yesterday. Her hair looked like she’d been sleeping all day and her eyes were red and swollen. Then she looked back down at her hands as I’d seen her do so many times. I was by her side in a second.