Madam, I’ll follow you unto the death.

  ELEANOR

  Nay, I would have you go before me thither. [a1vb]

  PHILIP

  156 Our country manners give our betters way.

  KING JOHN

  What is thy name?

  PHILIP

  Philip, my liege, so is my name begun,

  Philip, good old Sir Robert’s wife’s eldest son.

  KING JOHN

  160 From henceforth bear his name whose form thou bearest:

  Kneel thou down Philip, but rise more great.

  [Knights him.] Arise Sir Richard, and Plantagenet.

  BASTARD

  Brother by th’ mother’s side, give me your hand:

  My father gave me honour, yours gave land.

  165 Now blessed be the hour by night or day

  When I was got, Sir Robert was away.

  ELEANOR

  The very spirit of Plantagenet!

  I am thy grandam, Richard; call me so.

  BASTARD

  Madam, by chance but not by truth, what though;

  170 Something about a little from the right,

  In at the window, or else o’er the hatch:

  Who dares not stir by day must walk by night,

  And have is have, how ever men do catch:

  Near or far off, well won is still well shot,

  175 And I am I, howe’er I was begot.

  KING JOHN

  Go, Faulconbridge, now hast thou thy desire:

  A landless knight makes thee a landed squire.

  Come, madam, and come, Richard, we must speed

  For France, for France, for it is more than need.

  BASTARD

  180 Brother adieu, good fortune come to thee,

  For thou wast got i’th’ way of honesty.

  Exeunt all but Bastard.

  A foot of honour better than I was,

  But many a many foot of land the worse.

  Well, now can I make any Joan a lady.

  185 ‘Good-den Sir Richard’, ‘Godamercy fellow’ –

  And if his name be George I’ll call him Peter,

  For new-made honour doth forget men’s names:

  ’Tis too respective and too sociable

  For your conversion. Now, your traveller:

  190 He and his toothpick at my worship’s mess;

  And when my knightly stomach is sufficed,

  Why then I suck my teeth and catechize

  My picked man of countries. ‘My dear sir’ –

  Thus leaning on mine elbow I begin –

  195 ‘I shall beseech you’ – that is Question now,

  And then comes Answer like an Absey book.

  ‘O sir,’ says Answer, ‘at your best command,

  At your employment, at your service sir.’

  ‘No sir,’ says Question; ‘Ay, sweet sir, at yours.’

  200 And so ere Answer knows what Question would,

  Saving in dialogue of compliment

  And talking of the Alps and Apennines,

  The Pyrenean and the River Po,

  It draws toward supper in conclusion so.

  205 But this is worshipful society,

  And fits the mounting spirit like myself;

  For he is but a bastard to the time

  That doth not smack of observation,

  And so am I whether I smack or no;

  210 And not alone in habit and device,

  Exterior form, outward accoutrement,

  But from the inward motion to deliver

  Sweet, sweet, sweet poison for the age’s tooth,

  Which though I will not practise to deceive,

  215 Yet to avoid deceit I mean to learn,

  For it shall strew the footsteps of my rising.

  But who comes in such haste in riding robes?

  What woman-post is this? Hath she no husband [a2ra]

  That will take pains to blow a horn before her?

  Enter LADY FAULCONBRIDGE and James GURNEY.

  220 O me, ’tis my mother. How now, good lady,

  What brings you here to court so hastily?

  LADY FAULCONBRIDGE

  Where is that slave thy brother? Where is he

  That holds in chase mine honour up and down?

  BASTARD

  My brother Robert, old Sir Robert’s son,

  225 Colbrand the Giant, that same mighty man,

  Is it Sir Robert’s son that you seek so?

  LADY FAULCONBRIDGE

  Sir Robert’s son? Ay, thou unreverend boy,

  Sir Robert’s son! Why scorn’st thou at Sir Robert?

  He is Sir Robert’s son, and so art thou.

  BASTARD

  230 James Gurney, wilt thou give us leave a while?

  GURNEY

  Good leave, good Philip.

  BASTARD Philip? Sparrow! James,

  There’s toys abroad, anon I’ll tell thee more. Exit Gurney.

  Madam, I was not old Sir Robert’s son.

  Sir Robert might have eat his part in me

  235 Upon Good Friday, and ne’er broke his fast.

  Sir Robert could do well – marry, to confess –

  Could he get me? Sir Robert could not do it,

  We know his handiwork. Therefore, good mother,

  To whom am I beholding for these limbs?

  240 Sir Robert never holp to make this leg.

  LADY FAULCONBRIDGE

  Hast thou conspired with thy brother too,

  That for thine own gain shouldst defend mine honour?

  What means this scorn, thou most untoward knave?

  BASTARD

  Knight, knight good mother, Basilisco-like:

  245 What, I am dubbed, I have it on my shoulder.

  But mother, I am not Sir Robert’s son,

  I have disclaimed Sir Robert and my land,

  Legitimation, name, and all is gone.

  Then, good my mother, let me know my father:

  250 Some proper man I hope. Who was it, mother?

  LADY FAULCONBRIDGE

  Hast thou denied thyself a Faulconbridge?

  BASTARD

  As faithfully as I deny the devil.

  LADY FAULCONBRIDGE

  King Richard Cordelion was thy father.

  By long and vehement suit I was seduced

  255 To make room for him in my husband’s bed –

  God, lay not my transgression to thy charge!

  Thou art the issue of my dear offence

  Which was so strongly urged past my defence.

  BASTARD

  Now by this light, were I to get again,

  260 Madam, I would not wish a better father.

  Some sins do bear their privilege on earth,

  And so doth yours. Your fault was not your folly;

  Needs must you lay your heart at his dispose,

  Subjected tribute to commanding love,

  265 Against whose fury and unmatched force

  The aweless lion could not wage the fight,

  Nor keep his princely heart from Richard’s hand.

  He that perforce robs lions of their hearts

  May easily win a woman’s: ay, my mother,

  270 With all my heart I thank thee for my father:

  Who lives and dares but say thou didst not well

  When I was got, I’ll send his soul to hell.

  Come, lady, I will show thee to my kin,

  And they shall say, when Richard me begot,

  275 If thou hadst said him nay it had been sin –

  Who says it was, he lies, I say ’twas not. Exeunt.

  [2.1] [Flourish.] Enter before Angiers, Philip , King of France, Lewis [the] DAUPHIN, [the Duke of] AUSTRIA, CONSTANCE, ARTHUR [and the armies of France and Austria]. [a2rb]

  KING PHILIP

  Before Angiers well met, brave Austria.

  Arthur: that great forerunner of thy blood,

  Richard, that robbed the lion of his heart

  And fought the holy wars in Palestine,

  5 By this brave duke came early to his grave;

  And for amends to his posterity

  At our importance hither is he come

  To spread his colours, boy, in thy behalf,

  And to rebuke the usurpation

  10 Of thy unnatural uncle, English John.

  Embrace him, love him, give him welcome hither.

  ARTHUR

  God shall forgive you Cordelion’s death

  The rather that you give his offspring life,

  Shadowing their right under your wings of war.

  15 I give you welcome with a powerless hand,

  But with a heart full of unstained love:

  Welcome before the gates of Angiers, Duke.

  [Arthur and Austria embrace.]

  KING PHILIP

  A noble boy, who would not do thee right?

  AUSTRIA

  Upon thy cheek lay I this zealous kiss,

  20 As seal to this indenture of my love:

  That to my home I will no more return

  Till Angiers, and the right thou hast in France,

  Together with that pale, that white-faced shore,

  Whose foot spurns back the ocean’s roaring tides,

  25 And coops from other lands her islanders,

  Even till that England hedged in with the main,

  That water-walled bulwark, still secure

  And confident from foreign purposes,

  Even till that utmost corner of the west

  30 Salute thee for her king. Till then, fair boy,

  Will I not think of home, but follow arms.

  CONSTANCE

  O, take his mother’s thanks, a widow’s thanks,

  Till your strong hand shall help to give him strength

  To make a more requital to your love.

  AUSTRIA

  35 The peace of God is theirs that lift their swords

  In such a just and charitable war.

  KING PHILIP

  Well then, to work. Our cannon shall be bent

  Against the brows of this resisting town.

  Call for our chiefest men of discipline

  40 To cull the plots of best advantages.

  We’ll lay before this town our royal bones,

  Wade to the market-place in Frenchmen’s blood,

  But we will make it subject to this boy.

  CONSTANCE

  Stay for an answer to your embassy

  45 Lest unadvised you stain your swords with blood;

  My Lord Chatillon may from England bring

  That right in peace which here we urge in war,

  And then we shall repent each drop of blood

  That hot rash haste so indirectly shed.

  Enter CHATILLON.

  KING PHILIP

  50 A wonder, lady: lo, upon thy wish

  Our messenger Chatillon is arrived.

  What England says, say briefly, gentle lord;

  We coldly pause for thee. Chatillon, speak.

  CHATILLON

  Then turn your forces from this paltry siege

  55 And stir them up against a mightier task.

  England, impatient of your just demands

  Hath put himself in arms; the adverse winds

  Whose leisure I have stayed have given him time [a2va]

  To land his legions all as soon as I;

  60 His marches are expedient to this town,

  His forces strong, his soldiers confident.

  With him along is come the mother queen,

  An Ate stirring him to blood and strife;

  With her, her niece, the Lady Blanche of Spain;

  65 With them a bastard of the king-deceased;

  And all th’unsettled humours of the land,

  Rash, inconsiderate, fiery voluntaries

  With ladies’ faces and fierce dragons’ spleens,

  Have sold their fortunes at their native homes,

  70 Bearing their birthrights proudly on their backs,

  To make a hazard of new fortunes here.

  In brief, a braver choice of dauntless spirits

  Than now the English bottoms have waft o’er

  Did never float upon the swelling tide

  To do offence and scathe in Christendom. [Drums beat.]

  76 The interruption of their churlish drums

  Cuts off more circumstance: they are at hand

  To parley or to fight, therefore prepare.

  KING PHILIP

  How much unlooked for is this expedition.

  AUSTRIA

  80 By how much unexpected, by so much

  We must awake endeavour for defence,

  For courage mounteth with occasion.

  Let them be welcome then, we are prepared.

  [Flourish.] Enter KING JOHN, BASTARD, Queen ELEANOR, BLANCHE, PEMBROKE, [SALISBURY] and [the English army].

  KING JOHN

  Peace be to France, if France in peace permit

  85 Our just and lineal entrance to our own;

  If not, bleed France, and peace ascend to heaven

  Whiles we, God’s wrathful agent, do correct

  Their proud contempt that beats his peace to heaven.

  KING PHILIP

  Peace be to England, if that war return

  90 From France to England, there to live in peace;

  England we love, and for that England’s sake,

  With burden of our armour here we sweat.

  This toil of ours should be a work of thine;

  But thou from loving England art so far

  95 That thou hast underwrought his lawful king,

  Cut off the sequence of posterity,

  Outfaced infant state, and done a rape

  Upon the maiden virtue of the crown.

  Look here upon thy brother Geoffrey’s face:

  100 These eyes, these brows, were moulded out of his.

  This little abstract doth contain that large

  Which died in Geoffrey, and the hand of time

  Shall draw this brief into as huge a volume.

  That Geoffrey was thy elder brother born,

  105 And this his son; England was Geoffrey’s right,

  And this is Geoffrey’s; in the name of God

  How comes it then that thou art called a king,

  When living blood doth in these temples beat

  Which owe the crown that thou o’er-masterest?

  KING JOHN

  110 From whom hast thou this great commission, France,

  To draw my answer from thy articles?

  KING PHILIP

  From that supernal Judge that stirs good thoughts

  In any breast of strong authority

  To look into the blots and stains of right:

  115 That Judge hath made me guardian to this boy,

  Under whose warrant I impeach thy wrong

  And by whose help I mean to chastise it.

  KING JOHN

  Alack, thou dost usurp authority.

  KING PHILIP

  Excuse it is to beat usurping down.

  ELEANOR

  120 Who is it thou dost call usurper, France?

  CONSTANCE

  Let me make answer: thy usurping son.

  ELEANOR

  Out, insolent! Thy bastard shall be king,

  That thou mayst be a queen, and check the world?

  CONSTANCE

  My bed was ever to thy son as true

  125 As thine was to thy husband; and this boy

  Liker in feature to his father Geoffrey

  Than thou and John, in manners being as like

  As rain to water, or devil to his dam.

  My boy a bastard? By my soul, I think

  130 His father never was so true begot.

  It cannot be an if thou wert his mother.

  ELEANOR

  There’s a good mother boy, that blots thy father.

  CONSTANCE

  There’s a good grandam boy, that would blot thee.

  AUSTRIA

  Peace!

  BASTARD Hear the crier.

  AUSTRIA What the devil art thou?

  BASTARD

  135 One that will play the devil, sir, with you,

  An ’a may catch your hide and you alone.

  You are the hare of whom the proverb goes,

  Whose valour plucks dead lions by the beard.

  I’ll smoke your skin-coat an I catch you right.

  140 Sirrah, look to’t, i’faith I will, i’faith.

  BLANCHE

  O, well did he become that lion’s robe

  That did disrobe the lion of that robe.

  BASTARD

  It lies as sightly on the back of him

  As great Alcides’ shoes upon an ass.

  145 But, ass, I’ll take that burden from your back,

  Or lay on that shall make your shoulders crack.

  AUSTRIA

  What cracker is this same that deafs our ears

  With this abundance of superfluous breath?

  King Philip, determine what we shall do straight.

  KING PHILIP

  150 Women and fools, break off your conference.

  King John, this is the very sum of all:

  England and Ireland, Anjou, Touraine, Maine,

  In right of Arthur do I claim of thee.

  Wilt thou resign them and lay down thy arms?

  KING JOHN

  155 My life as soon. I do defy thee, France.

  Arthur of Britain, yield thee to my hand,

  And out of my dear love I’ll give thee more

  Than e’er the coward hand of France can win.

  Submit thee, boy.

  ELEANOR Come to thy grandam, child.

  CONSTANCE

  160 Do child, go to it grandam child,

  Give grandam kingdom, and it grandam will

  Give it a plum, a cherry and a fig,

  There’s a good grandam.

  ARTHUR Good my mother, peace.

  I would that I were low laid in my grave,

  165 I am not worth this coil that’s made for mey.

  ELEANOR

  His mother shames him so, poor boy, he weeps.

  CONSTANCE

  Now shame upon you whe’er she does or no.

  His grandam’s wrongs, and not his mother’s shames

  Draws those heaven-moving pearls from his poor eyes,

  170 Which heaven shall take in nature of a fee.

  Ay, with these crystal beads heaven shall be bribed

  To do him justice, and revenge on you.

  ELEANOR

  Thou monstrous slanderer of heaven and earth.

  CONSTANCE

  Thou monstrous injurer of heaven and earth,

  175 Call not me slanderer! Thou and thine usurp

  The dominations, royalties and rights

  Of this oppressed boy. This is thy eldest son’s son,

  Infortunate in nothing but in thee:

  Thy sins are visited in this poor child, [a3ra]