Alice switched her gaze to me. ‘You’re very quiet, Sylvie. Have a headache, do you, after putting up with the whiny Wayfair lass?’

  Before I could respond, Darina waved a hand and said, ‘Oh you know Sylvie’s not going to say a bad word against Wanda. She likes her, for some strange reason. And let’s face it – better you be volunteered as her prison buddy than any of the rest of us. She would have been jumped on a lot sooner if I was left alone with her, I’ll tell you that much.’

  ‘You don’t even know her,’ I said, unable to stop myself. ‘It’s not really her fault that you’re all a bunch of criminals who she had to arrest. I mean, if you weren’t always breaking the law, you’d be able to drink your wine in an actual bar. Or at home, in front of your TV. Or over dinner with your friends and family. Because that’s the way she spends her free time, you know. That’s the way everyone who actually works hard and has a decent life spends their spare time. So what do you have against her, other than the fact that she and the rest of the Wayfarers put you exactly where you deserve to be?’

  Darina narrowed her eyes. ‘Another day, another outburst. Too much more of that kind of talk, Sylvie, and you’ll find yourself in a whole world of hurt.’

  ‘No,’ said Alice. ‘She won’t. Sylvia is a very useful member of our coven, and don’t you forget it. But as to what I have against Wanda Wayfair? Well, not as much as you’d think, actually. She does have her good points. She’s a good driver, for one.’ She put her glass down and pushed it away. ‘Oh, who am I kidding? I can’t stand the girl. But at least if she was still out there instead of in here, I wouldn’t be worrying about Will as much.’

  ‘Me neither,’ I said quietly.

  Alice squeezed my hand. ‘Jokes aside, I really do wish she was out there, looking out for him. I have a feeling that he needs it more than any of us know.’

  Darina snorted. ‘He’s turned our coven into a laughing stock. Maybe he deserves what he gets.’

  ‘Say that again.’ Alice fixed Darina with a shrivelling glare. ‘I dare you.’

  Darina crossed her arms. ‘Fine. I’ll shut up.’

  ‘Good,’ said Alice. ‘Because no matter how much of a do-gooder my nephew is becoming, I still love the bones of him. We just have to hope and pray to the goddess that Baldrick was the only one after him.’ She glanced at Martin again. ‘Have you heard any more news on the subject? No one else has tried to knock Will off, have they?’

  Martin frowned. ‘How would I know? I have no idea about any of that.’

  ‘We’re not accusing you, you idiot,’ drawled Darina. ‘But … Baldrick? I mean, he wasn’t even on my radar when I was in charge of the coven. The man’s an idiot. I was suspicious when he started helping Will with all this ridiculous charity work, and I’m even more suspicious now, since I’ve heard he tried to kill him.’

  Alice gave me a sympathetic smile. ‘Sylvie, we will get to the bottom of it. For one thing, we want you back to your old fun-loving self, don’t we? And I know you think we know something about it, but we really don’t. Maybe when we get out of here, things will be different. But right now we’re just as in the dark as you are. We don’t know what anyone who left the coven is up to.’

  Darina shifted in her seat, looking irritable. ‘It’s bloody torture. One day you’re on top of the world, the next day you’re stuck in this hole. I don’t suppose … look, I know you think that Will’s chubby ex is some sort of magical wunderkind, but … is she though? Couldn’t Wanda have just got it wrong? Killed Baldrick for no reason? You hear of police making stupid mistakes like that all over the world.’

  Alice snorted. ‘The Peacemakers used to accidentally kill someone at least three times a week. Darina might be right.’

  ‘Exactly.’ Darina grinned. ‘This could just be down to that fat-arsed Wanda making a stupid mistake. Maybe she thought Baldrick was about to eat the last slice of cake or something.’

  ‘She’s not fat,’ I said. ‘She’s … curvy. Anyway, not everyone thinks that being stick thin is attractive.’

  ‘Yeah, right,’ said Darina. ‘Look, you don’t have to pretend to like her anymore. I know you keep saying she’s all right, and that you hope Will’ll end up with her someday. But he’s got Sandra now, and Wanda is with that weredog. So just admit it – she’s fat.’ She smirked and stood up, grabbing an enormous cake from the fridge. ‘But none of us have that problem. Who wants a slice?’

  With great difficulty, I said, ‘No thanks.’ I might be able to look like Sylvia, and speak with her voice, but I would never be able to eat like her. She did it elegantly, and never got any on her chin, or in her hair.

  ‘None for me, either,’ said Alice, standing up. ‘It’s time for me to spend some time with my honey.’ She made her way to Basil’s table. He crammed the remainder of his cheese and crackers into his mouth, and stood up to give her a kiss. Together, they headed behind the bar, and mumbled something at the second so-called storeroom. As the door opened, I got a brief, horrific look at what was inside: a heart-shaped bed on a shag-pile carpet.

  I took a sip of my wine, squeezed my eyes shut, and tried to psych myself up to ask more questions of Darina, or any of the others in the room. But it was already clear: the only one who might have the answers I needed was Martin, and he wasn’t talking.

  ‘I think I’ll be off,’ I said.

  In the least sincere voice ever heard, Darina replied, ‘Oh no. What a shame.’

  23. Leaving Time

  As I walked Sylvia’s body back to my solitary cell, I felt more than a little deflated. I’d had such high hopes for the Anything Room. But I still had no idea why Will was being targeted, or how Sal Manson had come back to life.

  Time was running out – because sooner or later, Sal’s friends were going to wonder where he was. They were probably already changing their plans, to deal with his disappearance. And if they were going to move fast, then we had to move faster.

  First, I had to stop using Sylvia’s body as my creepy dummy, and get back into my own.

  I focused on my real body, touched Sylvia’s eyes, and spoke the Leaving Incantation she’d taught me:

  ‘Outside of you,

  Inside of me,

  Back to my self,

  I now leave you be.’

  As I uttered those words, I first pictured myself surrounding my own body once more, and then pictured myself inhabiting it. Almost immediately, with a deep, gasping breath, like I’d come up for air, I found myself fully at home.

  With me no longer controlling her, Sylvia staggered, and with a groggy gaze my way, she slumped to the floor.

  ‘I … you.’ She wrung out her hands. ‘That wasn’t right.’

  ‘What are you talking about? It went fine. I mean, the Anything Room was a big fat disappointment, but the Possession and Leaving went perfectly.’

  ‘Exactly.’ She had the look of a frightened rabbit about her. ‘It went way too well. Back when I was the one taking you over, you were always there, asserting yourself, no matter how hard I’d worked the spell. I’d try to make you walk to Will’s flat to keep watch, and you’d veer off and buy yourself some bloody cake. It was a constant battle to keep you in check. But seeing as I remember nothing of what just happened, I’m guessing it wasn’t like that for you.’

  She shook out her limbs and ran her hands along her arms, her stomach, her legs, her face, as if checking that she was real. ‘Erik was right. You do what Mage Monks train lifetimes for without even thinking about it. Why was the Anything Room a disappointment, though? Didn’t you find out anything useful?’

  ‘No. Except that Darina really doesn’t like you. You should be careful.’

  She gave me a wry smile. ‘Well, in a few minutes time everyone will know that I killed Baldrick. So I might not be in the prison anymore. I imagine that the Queen will have to step in and cart me off to somewhere more secure. That, or send one of her lot to perform hourly disempowerments on me. But I don’t care. It was worth it, to save Will.’

  She seemed about to walk through the wall again, but she paused and said, ‘I won’t tell anyone that you can’t be disempowered. You might not believe me, but I’m on your side. And you know, you should go train with the Mage Monks. Because when you do, you’ll see everything. You’ll understand your role in it all. You’ll understand your heart, and your soul. You’ll see exactly who you’re meant to be with.’

  My skin grew prickly with heat (not because she’d upset me, of course – it was because I was overtired, and irritable, and they had the heat turned on too high in here, and any other excuse I could think of). ‘I don’t need a bunch of monks to help me see what I already know. I’ll see you around, Sylvia. For now, my time in Witchfield is done.’

  ≈

  I never would have thought that being in my own clothes could feel so good. Dizzy fluttered around me, saying, ‘Your hair smells better now. The prison shampoo smells weird.’

  ‘Aw, thank you.’ I fed him a slice of mango. ‘You’re ever so sweet. And it probably smelled weird because I didn’t have time to rinse it out. I mean, who can shower and wash their hair in two minutes?’

  I was back in Wayfarers’ Rest and – as often happened when I visited home – I wondered why I ever left. My dad was sitting over by the stove, while Jacques dozed at his feet. Every now and then, Dad would bend over to stroke him, and the dog’s short tail would give a happy wiggle each time.

  They both looked utterly content, and my heart soared at the sight. My dad’s familiar, a cocker spaniel called Clive, had been killed years ago by Gabriel Godbody senior. Now, it looked as though Dad and Jacques were bonding, and I was so happy for them both.

  I sat at the table, with my mother, Christine, Finn, Paul, Shane, Will and Dizzy. Fred was out in the garden with some of the coven cats. They’d been very insistent that they weren’t going off to terrorize mice, so of course I believed them.

  Max had popped in to welcome me home, but had to rush back to the rescue centre to deal with a sick beagle. Gretel was looking after our other Major Crimes cases, while Finn and I were absent. And Melissa and Miles had been and gone – they stayed just enough time to be filled in on the not-very-illuminating experience at the Anything Room, before heading off for a meeting with one of their defendants.

  Now, I was working my way through some of the food my mother had tried to tempt me with in the early hours of the morning. There was a lot to choose from: stews, pasta bakes and curries, and lots and lots of cake.

  Paul said he had something important to tell us about the prison security footage, but there was cheese on his serving of pasta bake, so I was sure he’d tell us once he’d finished eating.

  ‘Honestly,’ said my mother, shaking her head, ‘the way you tell the story, Wanda, anyone would think you wanted them all to pounce on you when Martin closed that door. You’re lucky they didn’t. Sylvia could have dropped you in it, and you know it.’

  I pushed my stew around the bowl. ‘I mean, I didn’t actually want them to pounce on me. I was terrified. I just wanted something a bit more exciting to happen. Like, y’know, discovering what the heck is going on with all of this. Anyway, Sylvia didn’t drop me in it, did she? I got out of there in one piece. One frustrated piece, I admit. The only thing I know is that we have to make a decision, and fast. The prison can’t keep going the way it is. I dunno about you, but I think that the public want to know that Witchfield keeps the bad guys safely locked away. They won’t exactly be happy if they find out that what it actually does is house a bunch of prisoners who have their own private club, a bunch of guards who profit off it – and, oh yeah, someone who kills prisoners only to reincarnate them days later.’

  Shane rubbed his stubble. He hadn’t eaten a thing, just sat there drinking coffee and looking tense. ‘I wish I could figure out how they’re doing it, because the dead bodies aren’t giving me clues – they’re just dead bodies. But as for the rest of it, shouldn’t Tracy be here so we can figure it out with her? She’s the warden, after all.’

  ‘That’s why she’s not here.’ Finn poured himself a second glass of cola and drank three quarters of it before saying anything more. ‘I mean, we thought she was the best warden there’d ever been. But clearly she’s not, if all of this is going on under her nose. For all we know right now, she could be in on it. We have to keep this among ourselves until we figure it out. Because for the first time since we reformed the police and the prison, I’m not even sure if we can trust the people we hired.’

  Christine gave him a look of sympathy. ‘I know, Finn. I’m as disappointed about this as you are. We can’t be too hard on ourselves, though. We’re doing the best we can, but bad people will always try to hide in the light. That’s the way it’s been since time immemorial. Anyway, we mustn’t be too quick to jump to conclusions where Tracy’s concerned. If it is the way Wanda described, then maybe that thing they all said – what was it? Oh, yes. “Anything goes in the Anything Room”. Maybe that unlocked some sort of obfuscation spell. It probably does look like a storeroom at all other times. And if that’s the case, Tracy probably doesn’t know.’

  ‘That’d be my guess.’ I grabbed some bread to dip in my stew. ‘And I really do hope Tracy knows nothing about it. Walt, too. He’s such a great guy. But the rest of them? I don’t know them well enough to be sure. All I know is it can’t just be Martin running things. It’s way too big an operation for him to go it alone.’

  ‘They did seem to suggest Three C was part of it too, though,’ my mother reminded me. ‘And that much makes sense. Vernon Samuels was always a man who got things done. Who knew how to get people to do what he wanted. He never got his own hands dirty in the old days, but … well, he had his ways. I can’t see him and Martin having a thing, though. They’re both straight, as far as I know. But if that’s what was said, then I suppose it must be true.’

  I thought back to the Anything Room, to how Darina winked at Martin and said, ‘And maybe someone got jealous.’

  Someone. Not necessarily Martin.

  ‘You know, I don’t really know what Darina meant,’ I admitted. ‘It was all so strange. And not just because I was walking around in Sylvia’s skin. I feel like there are vital details I don’t know. Details that would have made the whole conversation in the Anything Room make more sense. I mean, I agree – Three C’s probably got a lot of contacts who can get food and drink and other things into the prison, as long as he has some guards on his side. But I still think there have to be more guards involved. I don’t think we can arrest Martin until we know more.’

  The table went nearly silent; the only noises were Dizzy chewing his lunch, and Jacques snoring by the fire. It was all very peaceful, until Paul shouted, ‘Oh! Oh yes! That’s it!’

  My mother’s eyes rounded. ‘Excuse me? Do you want us to leave you alone with that pasta bake, Paul?’

  ‘No. I mean, I definitely want more of it to take home, Bea, if that’s all right. But I mean … there’s something we are missing. Camille Samuels. Vernon’s daughter.’ He threw his fork down and ran off to the table by the door, where he’d left his bag. He returned with it quickly, pulling out his laptop and placing it on the table.

  ‘I cleaned up the sound on that footage from the visiting lounge. The day Camille visited her dad. Sorry, I would have told you sooner, but … pasta bake. And also, everything else seemed way more important. But maybe this is important. I dunno. Watch it and tell me what you think.’

  Paul brought up the video footage and hit Play.

  ≈

  Camille looked a little overdressed for the occasion, in a skin tight red dress, red lipstick and dark black eyeliner. As she sashayed her way to the table where her father was waiting, she passed by Sal Manson and gave him a smile, which Sal readily returned.

  Camille sat down, crossed her legs, and tossed her hair.

  Three C rolled his eyes. ‘Wow, you really do like to make a fool of yourself, don’t you?’

  ‘Excuse me?’ Camille smirked. ‘Are you talking about my relationship with Sal Manson?’ She waved her engagement ring about. ‘Yes, it’s serious. We’re very much in love. Now, I know that he’s a dayturner, which must really get on your goat. I mean, you hate dayturners, don’t you? And now here I am, your precious little girl, dating one.’

  Three C snorted. ‘Precious? You know I have too many kids to count, right? I mean, I have a kid who’s a model. Another who’s a tech billionaire. I’ve even got a kid who’s killed sixty-seven dayturners and ninety-one weredogs. And even though they’re all a million times more successful than you, I still don’t bother seeing them. Why would I care who you date?’

  Camille narrowed her eyes. ‘Well … because he’s a dayturner. I mean, don’t you just hate him for sullying your little girl? Don’t you want to … oh, I don’t know … kill him?’

  ‘Hah!’ Three C banged his hand on the table. ‘Hilarious. Like I’d bother. Listen, why did you want to visit me all of a sudden, anyway? Don’t you have important waitressing work to do?’

  Camille sawed her jaw for a few seconds, giving her father a look of pure hatred. ‘You’ve never given a crap about me! It doesn’t matter what I do, does it? You’re the most useless father on the planet, do you know that?’

  He laughed, and then said, ‘And? Anything else to say? Dear Dracula, you ought to be ashamed of yourself, Camille. Yeah, it’s pathetic to go out with a dayturner, but I wouldn’t expect any better from you. Do you want me to pay for the wedding, is that it? Because I’d gladly do it, you know. Even if you live to be as old as I am, I don’t think you’re going to do any better than Sal.’ He grinned. ‘Maybe I should pay him to marry you.’

  Camille sawed her jaw again, before screaming, ‘I hate you! I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!’

  ‘Good!’ her dad screamed back. ‘I’d rather you hate me. Maybe then you’ll finally give up and stop whining and snivelling for my attention. Now please do me a favour, will you? Get some self-respect, and get out of my sight!’