‘I heard that little confrontation on my way in here,’ she explained. ‘I’ll be issuing Martin with a written warning, and I’ll have Milly keep an eye on him for the foreseeable.’

  ‘Milly’s just been promoted to deputy-head guard,’ Walt added. ‘And even Martin likes her, so she’s the best person to keep an eye on him.’

  ‘She’s also my younger sister,’ said Tracy. ‘But don’t hold that against her. She got her promotion based on her work, not her connections. And Walt’s right – unlike me, she’s very well liked. Now, is there anything else you’d like me to enact?’

  Her question was to Finn. All of the prison guards, including the warden, were technically classed as Wayfarers. Their day to day duties were different to ours, and their training was different, too. But they were still part of our organisation, so Finn had seniority over Tracy, nevertheless. The only person with more power than Finn on the Wayfarer force was the commissioner, Christine.

  ‘If the other people who were in the shower are dressed now, Wanda and I will question them one by one,’ Finn said.

  ‘I’ll go and get them gathered together,’ she replied. ‘I think I ought to be making an announcement to them round about now, anyway, to assure them I’m doing everything I can. Worried prisoners can become dangerous prisoners.’ She patted Walt on the arm. ‘You keep helping the team here, then take them to my office when they’re ready. We can do the interviews there.’

  As she marched off, I told Shane he could take the body away. Walt watched as Shane arranged Sal on the stretcher and took him away. ‘Such a shame. He didn’t deserve this.’

  ‘No one deserves this,’ I said. ‘Walt, it sounds like you’ve got some stringent practices in place for the soaps and whatnot that come into the prison. So is there anywhere within these walls where anyone could make a potion like this? Any gardens where the ingredients could grow? And maybe a kitchen or something makeshift where they could have mixed it up?’

  ‘There shouldn’t be,’ said Walt. ‘I mean, it’d take magic, right? To mix a potion like that. And all of the prisoners are disempowered. But if it is happening under our noses, then I guess we need to rethink how we do things at the prison. It’s been such a long time since anything bad happened at Witchfield. Maybe we’re getting complacent.’

  3. Cleanse Your Soul

  Whatever about the rest of the prison, the warden could hardly be described as complacent. By the time we reached her office, the entire prison had been turned over, and the inmates who had been in the showers with Sal were all lined up, nervously awaiting their questioning.

  Tracy’s office was neat and clean. Her familiar, a small grey cat called Sir Tiddles, was dozing by a modern-looking heater, while Tracy herself was busy overseeing things elsewhere.

  She’d provided three seats for Finn, Walt and me on one side of the desk, while the prisoners would sit across from us. Walt decided to stay standing, pressed against the back wall of the office with his arms folded. He looked rather menacing, what with his height and his muscles.

  Finn and I sat down, and the first prisoner walked in. He swore that he had seen no evil, heard no evil, had committed no evil, and would speak of no evil. So that was helpful. Most of the inmates that followed seemed to be suffering from the same sudden-onset blindness, convenient deafness, and absolute innocence. We were saving the best (or worst) until last, though, so hopefully someone would talk.

  When Ron Montague came into the room, I watched him carefully. Ron was an incredibly old vampire, formerly known as Ronaldo the Righteous. He had founded numerous vampire supremacy cults, and murdered his way through many a plague. Unfortunately, most of it had happened far too long ago for us to prosecute. But we knew that he had been the inspiration for, if not the power behind, some of the more recent vampire extremist activities, and because of that we’d done our darnedest to get him behind bars. We’d managed to convict him of such crimes as conspiracy, concealing valuable information, and even tax fraud. Anything we could pin on him, basically. He was a cheater, too, but unfortunately we couldn’t convict him for that.

  Mr Tiddles hissed and ran out of the room, while Ron sat down, shaking. ‘Please don’t judge me on the cat’s reaction. Cats just don’t like me. It’s a vampire thing.’

  ‘I’ve heard some people say that about cats and vampires.’ I twirled my pen in my hands. ‘But I know quite a lot who get along perfectly fine. Maybe it’s just a you thing.’

  Ron pulled at his hair. ‘Oh no. You’ve taken a dislike to me, haven’t you? Look, I didn’t do it. I don’t do crime any more. I just want to go home to my family in Riddler’s Edge.’

  ‘Are you sure they want you back?’ Finn grinned. ‘Still, I can see why you might miss Riddler’s Edge. It’s a lovely place. A lot of murders, mind you. But not so much philandering these days, which is nice. Anyway, I don’t really care what you want, Ronaldo.’

  ‘It’s Ron. Please call me Ron.’

  ‘Ronaldo. You were in the showers at half past six this morning, when Sal was murdered. What did you see? What did you hear? What do you know about Night potion?’

  ‘Nothing, nothing and nothing.’ He cast an eye to the door. ‘Even if I did hear anything, you think I’d tell? The vampire prisoners are crazy! You know they think I’m still like I used to be? They keep asking me all about being part of Vlad’s Boys and the Knights of Darkness. They want to know how many dayturners I killed. I haven’t killed anyone in at least a century and a half, and I have no intention of starting. I’m a good guy. I have morals. But … I play along, you know. I hear things. Things it would be stupid of me to tell you unless I had a reduced sentence.’

  ‘Oh, here we go.’ Finn rubbed his forehead. ‘Ronaldo, I don’t have time for maybes or might haves. If you’re such a good guy, such a moral guy, like you say, then surely you’d see it as your moral duty to help us find the killer.’

  ‘It is, sure. In theory. But it’s also my mortal duty to stay alive in here so I can finish my sentence and go home!’ He sat forward. ‘Look, I know things. I really do. And I want to help you. But it’s dangerous. You must understand that.’

  ‘Sure we do.’ I gave him a broad smile. ‘That’s why, if you do help us, we’ll take extra special care of you, by putting you into a cell by yourself, under constant watch.’

  Ron waved a hand. ‘I don’t need protection from him. He likes me. It’ll be dangerous for other people, but he’ll never suspect I told. So he’ll take it out on the wrong people. There could be more deaths.’ He picked at an imaginary bit of fluff on his grey jumpsuit. ‘Really, by not making a deal with me, you’re putting other prisoners in danger.’

  Finn let out a sound that was almost a growl. ‘Look, this is the safest supernatural prison in the world these days, and we want it to stay that way. And as a matter of fact, I think having someone like you in the general population could be the impetus for this latest act of violence. After all, didn’t you found a gang who got their kicks from killing dayturning vampires? That makes you a suspect in this case. It also makes you someone whose ideals we don’t want spreading through the jail. So no, we won’t make any deals with you. What we’ll do is stick you in solitary.’ He held up a hand. ‘And before you say that I don’t have any grounds to do that, I do, Ronaldo. I really, really do. Because right now, I’m looking at someone who presents a problem on three fronts. You’re a hostile witness. You’re a suspect. And you’re the poster child for some of the most horrific ideals in the supernatural world. The whole prison would be better off with you in solitary.’

  Ron swallowed. ‘Okay. All right. I’ll talk.’ He glanced at the door. ‘It was Three C.’

  ‘Who?’ Finn and I asked in unison.

  ‘Three C. Well, his actual name is Vernon Samuels, but he likes everyone to call him Three C because he’s just passed the three century mark. Hah! Like that’s old.’

  ‘Sounds old to me,’ I mused. ‘How old are you, Ronaldo?’

  ‘Older. Much, much older. Three centuries is nothing. My children are older than him. But he walks around here like the big I am.’

  ‘Okay, I don’t think disliking someone is quite enough evidence for us to go on,’ Finn said with a sigh. ‘Have you actually got anything concrete to tell us, Ronaldo?’

  ‘Yes, I do. When we walked in and turned on the showers, Three C went and stood beside Sal. He never stands beside Sal. He thinks dayturners are filth. Anyway, he stood right beside him.’ Ron’s eyebrows went up and down. ‘Close enough to tamper with a bar of soap, if you know what I’m saying. And then he said, “Getting out today, are you? Maybe you ought to scrub a bit harder. Cleanse your soul”.’

  Finn and I did our best to look nonchalant.

  ‘That could be just a smartarse remark,’ I pointed out. ‘Might mean nothing. Did you actually see him do anything with the soap? Or do you know of any way Three C could have brought the soap in and substituted it for Sal’s?’

  ‘Well … there are ways and means.’

  ‘Oh, are there?’ Walt broke his silence, lifting a brow at the prisoner.

  ‘Of course. I had a very fine burgundy just the other night. I mean … I heard that some of the others were enjoying a very fine burgundy the other night. Courtesy of Three C, they said. He has a contact. Some way of sneaking things in under the radar. I don’t know how yet, but he’s been keen to befriend me. I suppose I could find out a little more, as long as I wasn’t stuck in solitary.’

  ‘We can’t ask you to do that,’ Finn said eventually. ‘It would endanger you. We won’t put you in solitary for now, but the little you’ve told us so far will mean we’ll have to keep a closer eye on you, for your safety.’ He nodded to the door. ‘For now, we’re done with you.’

  As Ron left the room, I muttered, ‘Cat in a hat! I don’t think Ron’s the killer. He really had renounced all of that Vlad’s Boys stuff by the time he was arrested, according to those in the know. But I do think he’s just the kind of worm who’d be able to find stuff out for us. Not that I would ask him to put himself in that kind of danger, but …’

  ‘I know you’re joking,’ said Walt. ‘But it really would go all sorts of wrong. The vampire wing’s been troublesome for a while. We feared something was brewing. If Ron tries to go a-sleuthing, he could end up like Sal. Although knowing Ron, he’ll go ahead and do it anyway, so we’ll definitely keep an eye on him. In the meantime, Three C is the last person we’re questioning.’

  ‘What can you tell us about this vamp?’ I looked at Walt. ‘I’ve never heard of him. Was he arrested before my time?’

  ‘Yeah. He’s just coming to the end of a ten-year term. He was involved in a lot of dicey stuff. Him and his cronies used to run an extortion racket on Eile Street. He dealt in illegal potions, too, which obviously makes him a person of interest. But …’ Walt scratched his chin. ‘I dunno. I mean, he’s been good as gold as long as I’ve known him. Or at least he’s been good at making himself look like a model prisoner. Plus he’s due to get out next week, so it seems a little weird for him to have done something this stupid. Still, you never can tell. I’ll go call him in.’

  ≈

  Three C was tall and gorgeous, but he was cold around the eyes.

  ‘Vernon,’ said Finn. ‘Tell us about your relationship with Sal, will you?’

  ‘The name’s Three C. And I know all about you, Captain Plimpton. You get a kick from calling people what they don’t want to be called. You’ve clearly got issues.’

  ‘Oh, I most definitely did, at one time,’ Finn told him with a smile. ‘I think it stemmed from growing up a Plimpton. I hated my coven, and was ever so embarrassed by the name. But as time went by, I worked through my issues and learned to accept that I was a Plimpton, just … a whole lot better than the typical specimen. These days, I do tend to call people whatever I want to call them. You can think of it as me getting a kick, if you like. But I prefer to think of it as giving people a helpful nudge towards acceptance. Anyway, enough about me, Vernon. Tell us about your relationship with Sal Manson.’

  The vampire folded his arms. ‘You’re nuts. And there was no relationship. I don’t speak to dayturning scum like Sal. I don’t much like talking to you, either.’ He looked my way. ‘Hello, gorgeous. A powerful woman like you, I will gladly speak to. Why don’t you ask the questions?’

  ‘Flattery will get you everywhere,’ I said. ‘And by everywhere I mean that it’ll get you all the way to an increased sentence. Which would be a shame, as I believe you’re due to be released in a week.’

  ‘Playing hard to get. I like it.’

  ‘Only a very disturbed man is turned on by a woman who clearly isn’t into him,’ Finn said with a snarl. ‘So stuff your sexism where the sun doesn’t shine, and answer our questions. Because, y’know, Wanda is right. The way you’re talking can get you an increased sentence. Refusing to cooperate with a Wayfarer, sexually harassing a Wayfarer … you committed those two no-nos in under a minute.’

  Three C shifted on his chair. ‘People used to be a lot more fun a couple of centuries ago. Look, I didn’t like Sal, but I wouldn’t lower myself to killing him. And if I did, I wouldn’t do it here, in the showers. I’d wait till a couple of weeks after we were both released, and I’d catch him down some alley, and I’d show him what a real vampire can do. If I were to consider murdering him, which of course I would never do. I’m a reformed character, me.’

  ‘Certainly seems that way,’ I drawled. ‘Thing is, it’s a little bit interesting that you told Sal to cleanse his soul right before a bar of soap killed him, don’t you think?’

  ‘That was just a smart comment.’

  ‘You know, we considered that,’ I remarked. ‘But it wasn’t very smart, was it, under the circumstances? It was kind of like pointing a big guilty arrow at your head.’

  ‘Exactly. I wouldn’t be that dumb. It was just me being smart. Who told you I said that, anyway?’

  I shrugged. ‘We’re hardly going to say, now are we?’

  ‘You can’t trust anyone in here,’ Three C said. ‘Well, except good old Ron. He’s a vamp’s vamp, is Ron.’

  Finn, Walt and I kept our faces impassive.

  ‘It was Flayer, wasn’t it?’ Three C continued. ‘He has it in for me. I’m going to kill that mothersucker.’

  ‘Wow.’ Finn sat back and folded his arms. ‘Two death threats in one day. Vernon Samuels, you’re going to solitary, and you will be asked a lot more questions. So I’d get to thinking up some much more clever statements than the ones you’ve been making so far, smarty pants.’

  4. The New and Improved Berry Coven

  ‘You don’t have to come here with me,’ I said as I pushed open the door of the Plain Old Cauldron. ‘You’ve got a murder to investigate. I’m fine on my own.’

  ‘Maybe I’m not here for you,’ Finn replied. ‘Maybe I’m just hungry for some of Hazmat’s scampi. Can’t solve a murder if I’m too hungry to think, can I? Anyway, you don’t have to go see Will for another forty-five minutes, so you can have lunch with me first, can’t you? I’ll buy you something plain, so you won’t vomit it up.’

  ‘I’m not going to vomit,’ I insisted. ‘Not now I’m away from that Night potion ravaged body, anyhow. I’m perfectly all right, Finn.’

  ‘Well you don’t look it,’ Finn said, sliding onto a stool by the bar. ‘You probably didn’t sleep because you have to do this not-so-secret job again. Look, I know that your Will Watch was a condition of his release, but it’s not exactly fair on you, is it? It’s clearly stressing you out.’

  ‘No, it’s not,’ I lied. ‘And stop calling it Will Watch. I just have to … check up on him from time to time. What’s stressing me out is that you’re here to keep an eye on me. Again. He’s not going to do anything.’

  ‘I’m not here to keep an eye on you.’ Finn held the menu up, but barely glanced at it. Instead, his eyes were roving around the pub. The Plain Old Cauldron was busy, as it was every lunch time. Hazmat, the owner, made simple but delicious food. Sure, a lot of it wasn’t healthy, but sometimes healthy was overrated. Right now, I wanted chips with curry sauce, and some battered garlic mushrooms. I’d probably pay some lip service to vitamins and minerals by ordering a salad on the side.

  ‘I see that he’s invited the new girlfriend to the meeting,’ Finn remarked. ‘It’s so weird, him and her.’

  I looked over at the table Finn was clearly talking about. Will Berry sat in the centre, with his new girlfriend, Sandra, sitting to his left. Will gave me a bright smile, while Sandra gave me a more cautious one, and gathered Will’s hand in hers.

  ‘I don’t know what’s weird about it,’ I commented.

  ‘You don’t? Well, for a start–’ He broke off as one of the Plain Old Cauldron’s bar staff approached. ‘Hi there, Camille.’ He gave the red-haired vampire a huge smile of greeting. ‘I’ll have the scampi, some chips in garlic sauce, and a very large glass of cola. Wanda will have a plate of mashed potato.’

  ‘Wanda will not have mashed potato,’ I told Camille. ‘Wanda will have curry chips and garlic mushrooms with some salad on the side. And an orange juice. Thank you.’

  As Camille walked away to get our orders, I took another look at Will’s table. There were a few others seated there, along with Will and Sandra. There was Rover, who was now, believe it or not, the Minister for Magical Education. His win had been helped along by the fact that his opponent tried to buy a mind-controlling robot in order to make people vote for him. Just a day in the life, really.

  There was another weredog there, Boxer Briggs, who was going to be the head teacher at an upcoming new school – a school which was undoubtedly the reason they were all gathered together today.