Nellie hadn’t heard the words, but she knew Ana and her parents had been in a heated argument. She let Ana simmer down, then asked, “Do you want to tell me what you're upset about?”

  Ana looked up and said, “Not really, I’m embarrassed.”

  “Ok.” They kept chopping.

  Ana cleaned up the kitchen counter, then Nellie excused her to get ready for bed. Ana didn’t mind doing chores, she had done them all her life, but she hated to be treated like a child. Ana walked up the stairs and saw her mother’s door was cracked. She walked to the door and looked in. She saw her mother lying with her head in her father’s lap on the sofa, they were speaking to each other, but Ana didn’t stay to hear the conversation. Her mother’s face was still blotchy red, and her eyes looked swollen like she had been crying. They didn’t notice her presence, and Ana slipped back into the darkness and went to her room. She felt guilty and wanted to talk to her mother, but she couldn't do it in front of her dad. She messaged Diane on her iPad and said, “Hey.”

  Diane responded after a few seconds with, “Hi?”

  Ana messaged back with a frowning face emoji.

  “What’s wrong? Why are you sad? Why are you on your iPad?” Diane asked.

  Ana typed but then deleted her text. Diane, seeing her bubbles disappear, called Ana.

  “What is it, my dear?” Diane asked. Ana FaceTime called Diane. Ana began to cry and speak at the same time. She explained how she felt like her parents were having her examined because they didn’t trust her and that she had cursed at her mother and now felt terrible. Diane breathed deeply before answering. “Ana, there isn’t an examination that authenticates virginity, and I assume they simply want you to be evaluated by a medical provider. You haven’t been seen by anyone here. You know this is not as big of a deal as you're making it.”

  Ana replied without sobbing, “I don’t want to be evaluated. I’m fine. I have no medical conditions. I do not need a doctor to try to scare me into the truth. I told you the truth.”

  “Ana, you know better than to speak to your mother that way. Using that language provokes her, and you know it. She’s an easy target for you, and that isn’t fair to her.”

  “I know, I shouldn't have said that, but I’m still so pissed off,” Ana confessed. “Why doesn’t she believe me?”

  “Do you think I would have made all that up? It was embarrassing as crap to tell you and Mom about what Travis and I had done.”

  Diane responded, “I agree that had to be embarrassing, but you know we are both women. We were both seventeen at one time. You can tell us anything Ana, I hope you know that.”

  “I guess, and now Mom is crying, and Dad fussed at her because he thinks she takes up for me. I feel so bad.” Diane knew Anastasia was tender-hearted and was very thankful she was empathetic toward her mother, even though she took her frustration out on her.

  “Where is she? Have you told her you were sorry?” Diane asked.

  “Not really, she’s in her room with Dad. She sent me to the kitchen to work with Nellie and took my phone. Nellie sent me to bed after I finished in the kitchen.”

  “She did, huh,” Diane responded. She laughed to herself at her friend’s creative method of parenting. “Well, Ana, if you feel this bad, you should apologize, she’s your mother. Go to her.” Diane was trying to ease Ana’s burden of deciding what to do.

  Ana agreed and said, “Goodbye, and I am sorry.”

  “Sorry for?” Diane said.

  “For all this,” Ana said.

  “Thank you, Ana. You don’t have to apologize to me, but I do appreciate it.”

  “Well, I guess I will go.”

  “Goodnight, I love you, Ana.”

  Ana replied, “I love you,” then hung up. She did feel better about the exam, although she had a feeling deep in her gut that made her want to vomit. She was sorry, and she knew this feeling wouldn’t go away until she apologized to her mom. It was like a gnawing feeling that made her feel like nothing would be right in the world again if she didn’t apologize to her. Ana got ready for bed and watched Netflix on her iPad for a while. Her dad came by her room to ask if she needed anything from downstairs. He said he was going down to eat a snack. She said no but asked where her mother was. He said she was already in bed and they would talk in the morning. Ana wanted to speak to her alone, so she went to her bedroom. The lights were off, so Ana crawled in the dark to her mother’s side of the bed. Andrea wasn’t asleep but had closed her eyes, laying with her face toward the outside of the bed. Ana watched her breathe and wished she could take back everything she had done, especially how much she had hurt her mother. It killed Ana to know her mother was disappointed in her. Ana saw how her hair laid against her cheek and how she held her hands near her face. She was beautiful lying there. Ana realized then that she wanted her mother; she wanted to be wanted by her. She needed her and loved her, no matter how upset or angry she became. Ana touched Andrea’s arm and said, “Mom.”

  Andrea opened her eyes and said, “Yes.” Ana sat on her knees on the floor beside her mother’s bed. “What is it, Ana?” Andrea asked, worried that something was wrong.

  “Mom, I am sorry, I’m so sorry. I am such a brat.”

  Andrea was alarmed by her submissive display and asked, “What are you sorry for?” thinking that maybe it was something other than her recent behavior.

  “I’m sorry for it all. I’m sorry for lying and for how I have treated you. Mom, I messed up, and I really didn't mean to.”

  “Didn't mean to do what?”

  “I didn't mean for this thing with Travis to come to this.”

  “I know you didn’t mean to get caught,” her mother said as she turned the lamp on and sat up in bed. She patted the bed in front of her and motioned for Ana to sit. Ana sat with her legs bent underneath her, slouching forward. “Explain the pictures?” her mother asked.

  “Have you seen it?” Ana asked.

  “No, have you?”

  “I’m not sure what picture it is. But I have an idea it’s a picture of a Snapchat.”

  “Oh, I see.”

  “I’m hoping you were clothed in the picture.”

  “Yes, mostly. I did send him one of me in my bra once. That’s the worst, though.”

  Andrea couldn't hide her feelings well but was trying to stay positive. “That’s it?”

  “Yes, Mom, please forgive me. My heart hurts because I hurt you,” Ana said, sobbing in her mother’s arms.

  “Child of mine, I forgive you,” her mother said as she scooted back and over, making a place for Ana beside her. Ana laid beside her mom as she put her arms around her and said, “Shhh,” and kissed her head. Ana stopped crying, and her breathing slowed. Ana felt so safe, so content in her mother’s arms, she thought this must be love. Andrea held her daughter, and her heart grew warm as she cradled her. She felt so full holding her, so near, Ana completely safe in her arms.

  “I love you, Momma.”

  “And I love you.” her mother said. Then they both drifted off to sleep.

  Phillip later came in to find them both asleep, Andrea cradling Ana. Both of them looking so peaceful. Ana’s head tucked under her mother’s chin. Andrea’s arm around her and Ana fingers intertwined in a piece of her mother’s hair. He turned off the lamp, cracked the door, and went to sleep in the guest room down the hall. He couldn't bear to interrupt their slumber. Although, before he left the room though he couldn’t help but stand and look at them, embracing this moment of his daughter finally wrapped in the arms of her mother, safe and warm. He knew this was what they always wanted. He snapped a picture of the two on his phone, and he couldn’t resist sending it to Diane before he went to sleep. Diane’s phone alerted as she received the picture. She just stared at it, smiling, with tears streaming down her face. Tears that expressed joy and sorrow at the same time. She felt a peace for Andrea and Ana, and that gave her great satisfaction. This is what love was all about, forgiveness, grace, and the willingness to give of yourself for another without the promise of receiving anything in return.

  CHAPTER NINE

  Dr. Julie

  Andrea made an appointment with a female doctor Diane had suggested. She was young, and Andrea felt like maybe Ana would connect with her. Diane spoke highly of her and thought it was a good idea to get her established. She did not tell Andrea that Ana had called her. She didn’t feel like it was something Andrea needed to know. She like that they shared a connection they shared. She had always been close with Phillip and had been very involved in Drake’s life. Andrea and Diane had been instant friends as soon as they had met in college, and it was Diane who encouraged Philip to date, Andrea. Although she was a good sister, she was also a loyal friend and was tied equally to them both. She had known other friends who couldn’t get along with their sisters-in-law, and she was so grateful for Andrea and her unselfish ways. It had been Andrea that had brought her own daughter home many times, when she’d called her from somewhere, she shouldn't have been. Those times seemed so distant, although, in truth, it had only been a few years ago. At that time, Diane had felt like she was on the brink of insanity. She shook her head as she thought of those nights, the arguments, and some of the things she had seen. It was like a bad dream she had tried to block out of her memory. Andrea and Laurel were close, so were Diane and Laurel, but their bond was different. Diane knew it was because Andrea was younger, and Laurel didn’t feel as threatened by Andrea. Andrea had tried to cushion Laurel’s fall on many occasions, although Laurel would still end up in trouble. Andrea, like herself, in the current situation, would keep most of the details to herself unless she felt Diane needed to know. Laurel had taken a while to mature, Diane thought, as she tried to rationalize her daughter’s past. In fact, the physician Diane had recommended had seen Laurel while she was home, and Diane trusted her judgment.

  The morning of the appointment, Ana was not in a cheerful mood when she appeared downstairs for breakfast. Andrea chose not to engage in conversation. “Ready to go?” she asked as she picked up her coffee and headed for the garage. Andrea had taken the day off work; although she had told Ana, she would return her to school around noon, another thing Ana wasn't pleased with. Ana appeared in the car a minute or two after her, carrying her own coffee and eating a breakfast bar. She didn't have her book bag but had her cell phone in her pocket. She only knew that because it vibrated as she sat down. Andrea had given Ana her phone back a day after her last outburst. “Bookbag?” Andrea asked.

  “Oh yeah,” Ana said, got out of the car, and returned with her bookbag. Once on their way, Andrea turned on the radio, and the tension seemed to decrease.

  “So, this doctor is young, and your Aunt Diane recommended her. She said she was very good with Laurel, so hopefully, you will like her,” Andrea said as she drove.

  “Ok, so what do I do?” Ana asked.

  “It’s a physical Ana. You don’t do anything. They just check you out, take your history, do blood work, you know,” Andrea explained. Ana looked confused. “Did you not have a pediatrician when you lived in America?” Andrea asked, confused herself as to why Ana wouldn’t know what an annual physical was.

  “I went to the doctor when I was sick and stuff, but it was never scheduled. And, I went to the health department to get a bunch of shots before I went to the academy because you know who had lost my records and nobody could find them,” Ana said.

  “Oh, well, usually a child has a pediatrician that sees them at least once a year. Have you ever been to a doctor as a teenager?” Andrea asked, curious if her another mother had taken her.

  “No,” Ana answered, she had, but she didn’t want to talk about it. Andrea looked at her and thought this could be traumatizing.

  “Ok, well, this won’t be bad,” Andrea said. They got to the office, and customarily they were checked in and placed in a room. Ana was asked to undress, put on a gown, and wait for the physician. “Do you want me to leave?” Andrea asked as she turned around while Ana undressed.

  “I don’t think so,” Ana said. Ana had left on her socks and panties. Andrea saw the socks and wondered if she still had on underwear but didn’t ask. The doctor entered the room wearing seal blue scrubs with her hair pulled back in a low ponytail. She looked to be about 35 or 40 years old. She introduced herself and sat down on a stool in front of Ana and Andrea.

  “So, we’re here for a new patient physical?” she asked, looking at Andrea. Andrea confirmed, and the physician asked who had seen her previously, and Andrea explained the situation, that Ana had just moved from the states. Ana just looked at her like she was waiting on her to perform some kind of magic trick. “Ok, so Ana, I will ask you some questions, and then I will examine you and draw some blood. I’ll step out with your mother for a moment, and then I will return.” The physician guided Andrea into the hall. “Diane called me yesterday,” the doctor said. “She informed me of Ana’s arrival here and that she had not had much medical care in the past.”

  “Yes, that is true,” Andrea said.

  “Is there anything you’re concerned about, Mrs. Hutchinson?”

  “Not really, Doctor.”

  “Call me Julie.”

  “If you want to wait here in this chair until we get done, I’ll come and get you.” Andrea nodded and sat down in the chair outside of the room.

  Julie entered the room. Ana was seated on the table with her blue gown on and a blanket over her legs. Julie sat down on the stool in front of her. “So Ana, tell me about yourself,” Julie said. Ana looked overwhelmed immediately. “Ok, let me start. My name is Julie, and I’m your cousin’s doctor. I am thirty-nine years old, and I have one child, her name is Kylie.” Julie slouched her shoulders and smiled. Her hair was brown, and her eyes a pretty green. When Julie smiled, her dimples lead to her bright white teeth. She looked normal and real, like a girl who grew up to be a woman, a successful, intelligent woman. Ana saw her slouch, she noticed that her feet turned in slightly, and she noticed she wore a dog tag around her neck.

  “My name is Anastasia Hutchinson. I lived in America until about four months ago when I found out that my so-called parents had kidnapped me. I found out my whole life was a lie. I formerly was Paige Peterson, and I was in school and doing well for once. I finally felt like I was free from my dysfunctional life, then I found out the truth. Now I’m home. I have a mother, a father, and a brother that I never knew. I have things I never thought I would have. I have a life that I’ve always envied others for, and now I feel more like a child than I ever have. I have no control over my life, and I made a mistake,” Ana said quickly, then she breathed in. “I’m sure you didn’t want to hear all that,” Ana said, shrugging her shoulders.

  “Yeah, sure I did. How am I supposed to care for you if I don’t know you?” Julie asked, not expecting an answer. Julie went on to ask about her medical history, and Ana revealed nearly nothing because she hadn’t had much of a medical past. “When did you start your first period?” Julie asked.

  “I was fourteen, but it doesn't come every month,” Ana said.

  “Ok, are you sexually active, or were you before you came to England?” Julie asked.

  Ana didn’t say anything. “Ana, anything you say is confidential.”

  “I’ve messed around, but I haven't ever had actual sex,” Ana said.

  “That means penetration, I’m guessing, and does messing around mean oral or anal sex?” Julie asked without stalling. Ana became embarrassed, and her face flushed. “I’m just asking, I do not judge, to each their own,” Julie said, holding up her arms to show she didn’t care.

  “Ugh, oral kinda --once, and never anal,” Ana said. “Ok, well, as long as you're not sexually active, I won’t have to do an internal exam unless you have concerns,” Julie said. “Do you have any issues?”

  “Well, kinda. I think I’ve been scratched or something by a guy,” Ana said. She explained that she had bled and had some pain. Julie did a head-to-toe exam and talked to Ana while she examined her. When she put her in stirrups, Ana became very nervous and closed her legs tight with her feet still in the stirrups.

  “Ana, you’re going to have to relax your legs. I’m not going to hurt you,” Julie said. Julie could tell Ana was extremely uncomfortable, and she wasn’t sure how she was going to get her to relax enough to begin the exam.

  Ana put the pillow over her face and grunted, “Ugh, do you have to do this?”

  “Yes, Ana, this isn’t bad. I just need to look.” Ana breathed out slowly and released her legs, but as soon as Julie switched the light on, she was right back shut. “Ana, do you want your mom in here with you while we do the exam?”

  “Yes, get her, please. I’m sorry, I’m just freaking out. I don’t know what you're going to do.”

  “She wants you, Mrs. Hutchinson,” Julie said to Andrea with her head out of the door.

  Her mother came and stood by Ana’s head and took the pillow off her face. “Ana, you have to relax. She’s just going to look,” her mother said. Andrea helped Julie put Ana’s feet back in the stirrups.

  “Now, take a deep breath and let your legs fall open,” Julie said. The sheet covered her thighs so Andrea couldn’t see her bottom. “Ana more, I have to be able to see down here. Don’t be embarrassed. We are all women here.” Andrea gently pushed Ana’s leg out, and Ana didn’t close them. Julie could see all the normal anatomy, although she noticed a redness near her vagina that looked like an abrasion. “I’m going to touch.” Ana closed her eyes. “Ana, are you having any pain?” Julie asked.

  “Yea, a little,” Ana said. Julie gently pressed near the opening, and Ana nearly came off the exam table. “Ouch, what is that.”

  “Ana, I need to look further inside. It seems you have an abrasion,” Julie said as she worried the abrasion was actually a small laceration. Ana saw her mother shut her eyes and shake her head. Ana knew what she was thinking. Ana braced herself, and Julie attempted to enter her vagina with just a finger. Ana slid back. “Please slide back down here. I’m not going to hurt you. It looks like someone else may have, and I have to see how bad it is ok, so please cooperate,” Julie said sternly. Ana slid back down and tried to stay still. “Take a deep breath.” her mother said, holding her hands. Ana breathed out and squinted her eyes. “Ana, it’s an abrasion, almost a laceration. I have to ask, were you entered forcefully?” Julie asked.