“Your language is terrible.” Ana huffed, turned around, and walked into the house.

  Drake shook his blonde hair out of his face and said, “What?” and shrugged.

  “What was that about?”

  “Nothing important.”

  “Let's go; dinner is ready.” Andrea softly slapped his shoulder. He gave her an annoyed look. She pointed at him then motioned back at her eyes with a look that said, I’m watching you. Andrea found Ana getting glasses out of the cupboard. “Ana, why were you yelling at your brother?”

  “Nothing, it was stupid, Mom. Sorry,” Ana said as she looked at Drake.

  “Yeah, what she said,” Drake said as he sat down.

  Phillip responded, “Well, we know where they get their tempers from,” as he looked at Andrea and smiled.

  “Shut it, I had nothing to do with that,” Andrea said, smiling. They all sat down to eat dinner.

  “So, what is this play about Anastasia?” Phillip asked her.

  “It was written by a classmate. It’s like a twist on Cinderella, but modern. It’s hard to describe. That’s the best way I know how.”

  “Ok, that will be interesting. I’m excited to see you perform,” Phillip said.

  “When are the performances?” Andrea asked.

  “They’re around the first week of May, I think, the 7th or 8th,”

  “Drake, will you be out of school then?” Phillip asked.

  “Yes, I get out the week before,” Drake replied.

  They were finishing dinner when Ana asked, “Have you thought about the graduation?”

  “We haven't. Do you want to discuss it now?” Andrea asked. Phillip and Andrea sat down at the island while Ana was clearing the table.

  Phillip said, “Ana, I’m going. To be honest, I’m definitely not excited about you going all the way to the U.S.”

  “Yeah, I know, Dad, but this is for his graduation. We were in the program together. It’s very important to both of us,” Ana explained.

  “I would be with her, of course,” Andrea chimed in, “I guess it depends on your behavior and grades.”

  “My grades are great, and I’m so busy now I can hardly think about anything besides the play.” Ana was hoping this would convince them.

  “Yes, but the play isn’t the same time we are planning on going, is it?” her mother asked.

  “I don’t think so.” Ana hoped to move on quickly from that subject.

  “If it is, Ana, you will have to see Jude another time because you’ve already made a commitment to the play,” Andrea said.

  Ana nodded as she made herself busy rinsing the dishes. “So I can go?” Ana asked hesitantly.

  “Yes, you can go. But I can change my mind at any time depending on your behavior,” Andrea warned.

  “Yes, ma’am.” Ana was elated with the news. She immediately went to call Jude to tell him.

  Drake was in the den and overheard his parents talking. “Phillip, of course, I will watch her. Why do you think? I wouldn't allow her to go alone,” Andrea said.

  “Diane said she really likes this boy,” Phillip replied.

  “Yes, I know she does, but I do feel we need to let her have some friends from home. Phillip, her identity has been erased. All of her past wasn’t bad, and she needs someone to connect with.”

  “Have you read those papers I gave you? Ana was in a terrible environment. Do you know the FBI busted her dad for trafficking drugs from the west coast to North Carolina? Did you know Ana was twelve and was holding a box of methamphetamines that was delivered? That her mom had her carry the box, and minutes later, the mobile home they were living in was swarmed with federal officers? Social services took Ana because her mother was in custody and wouldn’t let Ana go back until the home had been cleaned from top to bottom. Ana saw her so-called father arrested when he pulled in the driveway, and Ana watched as the cops basically strip-searched her mother. I read this from an encounter with a guidance counselor who let Ana sit in her office when she showed up to school upset and was seen walking away from school. What I’m telling you is that she does not need to remember that life, Andrea. She is our daughter, and I don't want her to remember those events or feel those feelings ever again.”

  “Yes, dear, I have read that file, but I try to avoid thinking about those things. Phillip, it hurts me to think about that happening to her.”

  “I know it does, I feel the same, but the information given does show us some of what her life was like.”

  “Do you know how angry I am at that woman for taking my baby away from me and then damaging her?” Andrea was almost yelling and near tears.

  “I’m sorry, dear. I didn't mean to upset you.”

  “Well, Jude is a good memory. She deserves a good memory, Philip. I want to give her that.”

  “I know, and you are a good mother. Don’t second guess yourself. She needs you, and I am so proud of you. I know this had to be difficult.” Philip hugged her into him. Drake had listened to the whole conversation and now felt a little different about his sister.

  Ana spent the next five weeks busy with school, play practice, and spending time on the weekends at the stables. She felt apprehensive. She knew in her gut she was lying. Every time her mom mentioned the play or her performance, she had a sick feeling in her stomach. She tried to avoid the subject, but it always came up. Her parents were interested in her life, and that was something she was not used to. A few weeks before the play, Andrea had taken her on a shopping trip to buy a dress for the party following Jude’s graduation. Ana felt awkward getting undressed in front of her mother. “Ana, open the door. Quit being silly. You have nothing I have never seen,” her mother said. Ana knew she was right and thought, she is my mom. It shouldn't be weird, and let it go. They spent the whole day out shopping with Charleigh.

  “I’m excited for you, Ana. I remember my first formal; it was so fun. We danced like we knew how,” Charleigh said.

  “I don’t know if Jude will dance, but maybe,” Ana said.

  “Well, you have to make him. No man dances to anything besides a slow song unless they’ve been drinking. Well, that is my experience,” Andrea said.

  “True. You get Dylan drunk, and he thinks he can move, but all he does is hump the air. One time, when we were dating, we were at a party, and he was really drunk. He started to dance, and I had to hold him up by his belt. I almost dropped him multiple times. That was the same night he got sick. Oh my god, I will never forget it. He evidently needed to puke, his friend told me, and I gagged him. Look at my finger. They are like Edward Scissorhands. I touched his tonsils. That’s when I knew I was in love,” Charleigh said, laughing.

  “Really?” Ana asked.

  “No, it’s not lovely watching someone hurl. I was kidding. We dated for a long while before we were married. I met him when he was seventeen. We knew when we had been dating about a month or so. We would get married. I don't know how we knew, but we did.”

  “Ana, don’t be hanging around friends like Charleigh. They will lead you to do bad things,” Andrea said, joking with her friend.

  “That’s bull crap. I was a good kid. Then I grew up and realized I shouldn’t have been so good.” Charleigh laughed.

  “I’m kidding, honey, chill out,” Andrea said to Charleigh.

  “So, tell me about this guy. Did you date in school? Were you serious?” Charleigh asked.

  “No, we were close friends. The attraction was there, but we were both too scared to act on it until the day I had to leave with Aunt Diane,” Ana replied.

  “Diane said you two were very into each other. She said she had to make you get in the car,” Andrea said.

  “Do y’all share everything?” Ana asked, annoyed and embarrassed.

  “Yes,” said Charleigh laughing.

  “But that was it until we went out the night before we left,” Ana said.

  “You went out with him before you left to come home?” Andrea asked, surprised.

  “No, it wasn’t a date or at least didn’t start that way. You know Mom, it was when we got stuck, and Aunt Diane had to come find me,” Ana said, trying to jog her memory.

  “Oh, the night you didn’t call until after curfew, and you had been drinking. You were stuck with a boy. Yes, I remember,” Andrea recalled.

  “Yeah, Aunt Diane accused me of having sex with Jude because my jeans were unbuttoned, crazy huh?” Ana said.

  “Really?” Charleigh asked.

  “She may have left out that part,” Andrea said.

  “Oh.” Ana shut up. Andrea was glad she had not agreed to let her go alone to the U.S now more than ever. They rode home talking and laughing.

  The play was at the end of the week, and Ana was so excited. Drake would be home tonight, and they would all eat dinner together. Her exams would start on Tuesday, and the play was on Thursday. Ana would pass all of her exams but was constantly reminded of her guilt for the lie she was maintaining. Ana believed in God. She had been saved at eight years old one Sunday morning when her grandmother had taken her to church. She remembered the plush red velvet-like material on the chair where she had laid her head to pray. To think of that now felt odd. How could an eight-year-old girl have such a heavy heart that she felt the need to surrender it to the Lord? Ana had been blessed with a conscience, a very sensitive one. She was very unsuccessful at lying and was emotionally stricken when she did something wrong. Lying to her mom was causing an ulcer, or at least it felt that way. She didn’t know when it had begun, but she did remember being four years old sitting in a bedroom looking up at two child-like angels placed on a wall. To Ana, those angels were watching her; they followed her wherever she went. Ana had been in some risky situations as a child, some she would never remember and some she shouldn’t. Ana had had a grandmother and an aunt and uncle who had loved her all throughout her childhood. However, when her mother or father didn’t benefit, Ana would not be allowed to see them. Ana’s grandmother had instilled in her the value of doing the right thing and knowing what was right and wrong. In fact, Ana had been taught her entire life to do better than her parents. Ana did not hate the Petersons, and she could say that she had loved them, but not like a child should love its parents. It just wasn’t there, and Ana felt guilty many times for not having those feelings. Ana’s mother and father had not shared the same morals and values Ana had. Her mother was raised in church and had known God at one time but strayed away as a teen and hadn’t found her way back while Ana had known her. Her father did not have a religious or spiritual bone in his body. She had seen sides of him that would make you think he was Satan himself. She had seen traits from both of her parents that had scared her into obeying their commands. Ana had separated herself from them years ago. She didn't think it was her doing but felt that God had pulled her away from them for a reason. Ana was tender-hearted. She loved to please those she loved, and to not do so was absolute mental torture for her. In time she would get over it, but Ana always apologized even if she wasn't the only guilty party.

  On Tuesday evening, her mother made her a special meal. “Pasta is all carbs, but good brain food,” her mother said as she prepared the Italian dish.

  “Thanks, mom,” Ana said as she took a plate from her mother. She ate in the kitchen with her mother, Drake, and Nellie. Her mother even made cookies, and they drank milk with them in the den.

  “I know you're so excited for these exams to be over and the play, so we can fly to see Jude. You have a busy week,” her mother said.

  “I’m so ready for this week to be over, even the play, I am kind of nervous,” Ana admitted.

  “I would be,” Drake said.

  “You will be awesome, I know it. I heard one of my friends talking. Her daughter is your understudy. She said she is so excited to see you perform that the part was made for you, and that says a lot,” her mother said.

  “Really? I figured she would want me to break a leg, literally, so her daughter could take my role.” Ana was now feeling even worse than before. She went to bed early that night. She talked to Brittany and told her what her mother had said.

  “Oh girl, yeah, that is bad. This lie is going to kill you. You’re miserable,” Brittany said.

  Andrea came in and kissed her goodnight. “Try to stay off your phone. You need your rest.”

  “Ok,” Ana said, closing her eyes.

  Andrea woke up at two a.m. and heard Ana in her room making crying noises. She went in and turned on the light. Ana was hot with sweat on her brow and arms. When Andrea touched her, she could feel how damp she was. Her brow was furrowed, and she was twisting in the bed like she was trying to get out of someone’s hold. “Momma, I just want to--” Ana said, or that was all Andrea could make out.

  Andrea tried to calm her. She put her hands on her arms and talked to her. “Anastasia, it’s mom. I’m here. You're ok.” Andrea held onto her.

  “Mom, Jude doesn’t know,” Ana mumbled. Andrea realized then this dream was from the present.

  “Ana, what doesn’t he know?” her mother asked. Ana didn’t answer but continued to flail. Andrea put a blanket over her and held it tight around her, securing her.

  “It’s ok, sleep dear.” Ana finally stopped fighting. She appeared to be asleep, so Andrea pulled her blanket off and pulled her pajama top up over her head. She changed her into a dry shirt without Ana even waking. She couldn’t leave her to sleep in a wet shirt. The next morning Ana woke up tired. She walked downstairs in her pajamas.

  “You ok?” her mother asked.

  “I’m really tired today, and I don’t remember what I dreamed, but it was crazy,” Ana said, pouring her coffee.

  “You were having a vivid dream for sure and fighting in your sleep.”

  Ana looked confused. “I was?”

  “Yes, do you remember me being in your room?”

  “No, not at all. That is weird. Did you change my shirt?”

  “Yes, you had sweated through the one you had on.”

  “Wow, I’ve never done that before.”

  “Yes, you have, dear. You have night terrors and talk in your sleep.”

  “Really, since when?” Ana asked, thinking her mother was lying.

  “Since you’ve been here. You’ve had a few, at least four.”

  “What do I say in my dreams?”

  “It’s always different. Last night you said something about Jude not knowing something.”

  “Hmmm...”

  “Yeah, what does he not know?” her mom asked.

  Ana knew exactly what he didn’t know. He didn’t know she was planning to skip out on the final performance either. “I have no idea. Crazy, but I don’t remember anything.” At least that part was true.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  The Production

  The night before the premiere, Andrea and Diane stopped by to watch the final scenes of the play rehearsed. Ana didn’t know they were there until the house lights came on. She looked out and saw her mom and Diane smiling and whispering to each other. The director asked Ana to stay on stage to rehearse her solo with her male co-star Byron. Andrea had no idea Ana was singing in the play and had never heard her sing other than in the car. Andrea’s and Diane’s presence made Ana extremely nervous, and she stalled on the first verse. Ana clasped her hands together and twisted her foot, trying to get it together. “She’s nervous. We are making her nervous,” Andrea said to Diane, considering leaving the theatre.

  “Sit still. We won’t be the only people here tomorrow, and she will have to deal with it then. Better to get it over with now,” Diane said. The music started over, and Ana quietly began the first verse. After the first few words, she began to regain her composure. Byron looked at her. He was her lover in the play. Assuming his role and trying to ease her nerves, he pulled her hands apart, put them in his, and pulled her closer. Ana didn't see Byron. She saw Jude. She sang like she and Byron were the only people in the room. The scene ended in a kiss, and they gave each other a peck on the cheek that lasted longer than any of the others. The lights went down.

  “That’s it, great job. Whatever you did differently, Ana, keep doing that. Finally, you look like a couple instead of individuals,” said the director. Byron smiled big and hugged Ana.

  “You ok? I hope that was ok,” he asked.

  “Yeah, it was fine. I was in another world there for a minute.”

  “Well, whoever you pretended I was, keep it up,” Byron said, laughing. Ana turned and left the stage to see her family.

  “That was very good, dear. I’m sorry if we made you nervous,” Andrea said.

  “Yes, I had no idea you could sing,” Diane said.

  “I sang in chorus in middle school, but that’s it,” Ana replied. Andrea told Ana she and Diane were going home, and Diane wanted to see the dress she had bought for the party. “Ok, I should be there soon.”

  A classmate came up to Ana and asked, “Here is the final production of the program. Will you review it.?” Ana looked down and saw the dates of the production in bold, size twenty, Times New Roman font. Ana flipped the book over quickly and tried to act normal. She leaned over to hug her mother and aunt goodbye, holding the book behind her. They didn’t seem too suspicious, but Andrea could tell Ana was acting different.

  As they walked to the car, Andrea said, “I wonder what that was about. Why was Ana acting so weird?”

  “I don’t know. It was like she saw a ghost all of a sudden,” Diane responded. They drove home, each lost in their own thoughts.

  Ana arrived home an hour later. They were in her room when she walked in. “Hey love, I’m packing some of your things. I know you haven’t had much time,” Andrea said.

  “Ok,” Ana replied.

  “Ana, I love this dress. You’re going to look so beautiful. Too bad your mother and I won’t be so dashing,” Diane said. Diane and Andrea were both accompanying her to Jude’s graduation and party. All parents and guests of the graduate were invited to both the graduation ceremony and dinner party after. From Ana’s experience, it was very formal, at least for the graduates and their companions. Jude’s parents had invited Andrea and Phillip, but Diane was going to take his place. Ana was relieved. She wasn’t excited to have her dad around her boyfriend or the guy she was interested in being her boyfriend. Especially if she was going to be dancing with him, they talked about the play and about the trip, discussing details like shopping and spending time in Annapolis. Ana took a shower, and they were still in her room when she came out in her pajamas. Andrea was so proud of Ana and her performance.