Dean didn’t move at first, and my gaze slid down his body. Past his flat, toned stomach to the part of him that never seemed to grow tired. I was thankful for that.

  “I swear I’ll feed you next,” he said.

  “I’m not hungry,” I told him. At least, not for food.

  “You need your energy. This is going to be a long night,” he replied.

  I bit my bottom lip to keep from saying more. I didn’t want this night to end. In the morning, things would look different. Dean would see things differently. Tonight, he wanted me, but I knew I wasn’t enough to satisfy him for long. I had chosen to do this. To give in and do what I wanted, not what was good for me.

  “Bend your knees,” he said, sliding his hand up my leg from my ankle and stopping mid-thigh as I did what he had told me.

  When he lowered his head between my legs, I didn’t have time to respond before his tongue flicked my clit, then began running along the tender flesh.

  My hands found his hair, and I threaded my fingers through his short locks. “Dean,” I moaned, and he slipped a finger inside me while still pleasuring me with his mouth.

  His other hand slid up my stomach until it covered my breast, and he began pinching my nipple and rolling it between his fingers. My hands moved to the sheets as I fisted them while squirming. I didn’t want to come yet, but somehow, he was bringing me to it again. Three times in one night. He was going to beat my vibrator’s record after this.

  Just as the bubble burst inside me and I cried out my release, Dean was over me and slamming inside of me. Once again bare. Nothing between us. I knew he had condoms here, but I didn’t care. I wanted the contact. He’d said he was clean, and I had an IUD.

  His arms flexed as he held himself up, and he stared down at me, licking my juices from his lips as he did so. He began moving slower this time, and I lifted my hips to meet his thrusts. Our gazes stayed locked, and something deep inside me clenched. Acknowledging it would mean opening myself up to a world of pain. I wasn’t a young girl anymore. I had a child, a job, a life that I had made for myself.

  Dean wasn’t asking to be a part of that, and he’d never fit into it anyway. This was a night of debauchery. I couldn’t feel something more than lust and desire.

  “I’ll wear a condom next time,” he said in a tight voice.

  I touched his arm, wrapping my fingers around it. “I have an IUD.”

  His eyes flared, and he growled as he began moving faster. His thrusts became harder.

  “Lift your knees,” he said, leaning down over me as his chest brushed mine. “I’m gonna mark this pussy. Unload inside of you and then fuck you some more,” he said near my ear, and I whimpered at the thought. “That’s it. Take my cock,” he said as his body slapped against mine.

  The smell of sex filled the room. Sweat, arousal, and always leather.

  twenty-five

  dean

  I drank my coffee while standing in the doorway to my bedroom. Brielle was sleeping soundly, curled up near the center of the bed. Her hair was spread out over my pillow and hers. I’d gone to sleep, holding her against me as if I were afraid she would leave. There was no way she could have walked away after all the sex we had. My legs even felt weak this morning.

  I had wanted her, and I’d had her … eight times last night. That should be enough. We’d fucked all over this damn penthouse. I should be ready to give her a cup of coffee and send her back to her apartment. It was what we both needed me to do. It was what Cam needed me to do.

  But, fuck me, I wasn’t ready to let her go. She made my bed so damn appealing that I wanted to go curl my body around hers and hold her until she woke up. She was going to be sore, but I could enter her easily. Slowly slide back and forth into her as I brought us both to another orgasm.

  “Jesus,” I swore under my breath and ran a hand through my disheveled hair.

  What was it with her? Why couldn’t I get enough of her? She wasn’t some groupie or a fling. She was a mom. She had a kid. She was almost half my age. I had to get that shit through my head.

  I had come inside her without protection. Sure, she had an IUD, but still. I’d lost my damn mind. I wanted her to have me inside her. Some caveman shit came over me, and the idea of filling her with my release made me crazy. I’d had to do it over and over.

  She was making me act like someone I wasn’t.

  Going back to Beverly Hills had crossed my mind when I opened my eyes and saw her lying there beside me. My dick had gone instantly hard, and I’d had to get out of bed before I woke her up, fucking her. Cam would be home today. I couldn’t keep her up here to be my own personal cum bank. I winced as my cock jerked at the thought. I was a sick bastard.

  I wasn’t running away again. As much as I didn’t want to admit it, I wasn’t going to be able to run from her this time. Just looking at her lying there, I felt possessive. I didn’t want another man touching her. The sound of her cries when she climaxed were mine, damn it.

  I glared down at the cup in my hand and considered putting whiskey in it. I needed something.

  The sound of her yawn got my attention, and I stepped back away from the doorway and walked toward the living room. She didn’t need to wake up to me watching her sleep. She’d get ideas. She’d realize she was in my head. Those were things I would deal with, but she didn’t need to know.

  I sank down onto the sectional and propped my legs up before taking another drink of my coffee. She’d be up soon, and I was anxious about how she’d react. Part of me wanted her to bolt to save me from more stupid decisions. The other part of me wanted her naked and in my lap while I worshipped her tits and she rode my dick.

  Yeah, I needed some fucking whiskey.

  “Do you know where my dress is?” Her voice was thick from sleep.

  I didn’t move. I shrugged and then glanced over at her. She was wrapped in my sheet. Jesus! I looked away from her.

  “I think we got rid of it in the elevator maybe?” I replied, then took a drink of the coffee to keep from looking at her again.

  “Okay,” she said, then moved across the room toward the door that led out to the elevator.

  I closed my eyes tightly and took a deep breath. I would not get up and go touch her. I wouldn’t offer her something to eat. She was getting dressed and leaving. There were no morning-after expectations from her. She wasn’t trying to embed herself into my life by making me breakfast or walking around in my shirt. She was leaving. Smart girl.

  When the door opened back up and she walked out, she was dressed, carrying my sheet in her arms. “I’ll just go put these back and get my things,” she said, barely looking my way.

  Damn. She was nervous. Unsure. I’d had her in every position I knew all over the place last night. She had to be sore in more than just between her legs. I was treating her like a groupie.

  I dropped my feet to the floor and stared toward the hallway a moment, trying to decide what was best. I didn’t want her hurt. I cared. There, I’d fucking admitted it. I cared. I liked her. My cock loved her. She didn’t deserve this awkward morning-after shit.

  When she walked back into the living room, she had her purse over her shoulder and her heels in her right hand. She gave me a tight smile, then began walking to the door.

  “Brielle, wait,” I said, stopping her.

  Then, I stood up as she turned back to look at me. There was a sadness in her eyes that felt like it was slicing open my chest.

  “I’m trying to figure out how to do this right,” I explained.

  Her smile softened, but the sadness in her eyes remained. I needed that to go away. My chest couldn’t take that. I didn’t want to see her sad. Especially because of me.

  “It’s fine. I knew … what I was doing last night. I knew that the morning would come.”

  No. I shook my head. That was not what she should know. She shouldn’t have expected to be treated like that. Like this.

  “We need to talk. Come to the kitchen. I’ll fix you something to eat.”

  A real smile touched her lips then, and I was relieved to see her eyes twinkle with amusement.

  “You’re going to make breakfast?” she asked teasingly.

  This was better. I could take a deep breath again.

  “I can make eggs and toast. It’s not fancy, but it’s good,” I told her.

  She laughed softly, then shook her head. “As much as I’d love to have some of your eggs and toast, I need to go. I’ve got to pick Cam up in an hour, and we need to go shoe shopping. His feet have grown another size in a month.”

  I didn’t want her to go. I wanted to hold her here. But she was a mom.

  I nodded. “Okay. Another time then.”

  She blushed slightly, then nodded but said nothing before turning back to the door to leave. I wanted to say more. Ask her if she and Cam wanted to come watch another movie. One I wouldn’t walk out on. But I said nothing. I just let her go.

  twenty-six

  brielle

  I tried to stay focused on shoes while Cam tried on several different pairs. The ones he really wanted were out of my budget. I’d just bought him a pair last month, but he’d had an overnight growth spurt, it seemed, and we were back, needing another pair.

  My thoughts kept going back to this morning. The awkwardness. The regret in Dean’s eyes. That had been the hardest part. Going from last night to this morning had been painful. The lump in my throat had stayed in place until I saw Cam and he reminded me of all I had to be thankful for.

  My phone buzzed with a text, and I glanced down at it to see Gavin’s name. Cam and I were supposed to go to a movie with him tonight.

  I didn’t have the heart to cancel and disappoint Cam, but how was I supposed to look Gavin in the eye after last night? It wasn’t that we were exclusive. He’d never said we were.

  We had only been dating for a few weeks. He didn’t call or text every day. It wasn’t a relationship. I had done nothing wrong … at least to him. Even though I had taken a shower, I still felt as if I smelled of Dean. Was it right to have sex all night with one man, then go out with another the next night? I didn’t know if there was an answer to that.

  “Mom?” Cam said, and my gaze snapped up from the text to look at my son.

  “Yes?” I asked him, smiling.

  He frowned, then held up the tennis shoes in his hands. “Can I get these?”

  I picked up the box to check the price, and although they were over the fifty-dollar limit by twenty bucks, I decided to give in. He wasn’t getting the two-hundred-dollar pair he wanted badly, the ones he would only look at but never ask for. He knew I couldn’t afford those, but these I could manage.

  “Sure. We can get those,” I agreed, and the salesclerk took the shoes and put them back in the box.

  “I’ll go pay,” I said, then followed the clerk to the counter.

  My phone buzzed again, and I sighed, glancing down to see another text from Gavin. I unlocked my phone and read his text, asking if six was still a good time to pick us up tonight. Before I could overthink it anymore, I simply replied yes, then slipped my phone back into my purse and pulled out my wallet to pay.

  Once I paid, I took the bag to Cam, who was at the door, looking out at something.

  “Whatcha looking at?” I asked him as I handed him the bag.

  Cam swung his gaze back to me and shrugged. “Nothing. Just a guy I know from school,” he replied.

  I looked over to where he had been focused and saw a boy about his age with a man who must have been his dad. He was teaching the boy to change a tire. The truck they were in had a flat. The man slapped the boy on the back, and the kid grinned up at him. It was a father-son moment.

  The lump in my throat was back. Not once in Cam’s life had he ever said anything about not having a dad. Even when he had been little and his friends all had fathers, he never brought it up. But he was getting older. I had noticed that, with Gavin, Cam clung to the attention he gave him. There was no hero worship in his eyes, like there was when he spoke to Dean, but Gavin wasn’t his hero. Gavin was a man who could be a dad. Did Cam want that? Was I no longer enough? He didn’t need me as much anymore. He was growing up, and with that, he wanted more.

  I knew how to change tires. I could teach him, but I knew that wasn’t what had drawn his attention. It was the father-son moment he thought he’d never have.

  We walked to the car in silence. I wasn’t sure what to say or if I should let it go. Not bring it up. He hadn’t wanted me to know what he’d been watching. I knew, in his head, he was protecting me. He wanted me to believe I was enough. Right now, I just wanted to hug my little boy and stop time.

  Once we were in the car, I looked over at him. “Want to go get pizza?” I asked him, knowing his favorite pizza place was right around the corner.

  He cut his eyes to me. “Mom, we just bought shoes. We can’t afford pizza too. I’m good with a grilled cheese at home. Besides, isn’t Gavin taking us out tonight?”

  There had been a time when he didn’t understand money, and he’d have jumped on the chance to get pizza. He wouldn’t have known that it would be a stretch for me after spending seventy dollars on shoes. Another sign he was growing up. This summer seemed to have aged him several years.

  “Gavin might want to take us to get pizza,” I agreed as I turned back toward our apartment.

  “Do you like Gavin?” he asked me.

  I hadn’t expected this question from him. I thought about it a moment. I did like Gavin. He was nice. He was attractive. He was good with my having a kid. However, I was never going to do more than like him. There were no butterflies or lust-fueled moments.

  “He’s a nice man,” I replied.

  “I know that. But I was asking if you liked him, liked him,” he said.

  I glanced over at Cam and frowned. “Uh, well—”

  “Do you like Dean?” he asked me before I could think of the correct answer.

  I felt my cheeks warm, and I sputtered, unsure of why he was bringing up Dean when he hadn’t seen him since the night in his penthouse.

  “That’s what I thought,” he said.

  “I didn’t say anything,” I replied defensively.

  “You didn’t have to. Your face told me.”

  I focused back on the road. “I am sure most females on earth like Dean,” I pointed out.

  “Probably. He’s famous,” Cam agreed.

  “Gavin is a much more sensible person to focus on,” I explained, maybe more for myself than for Cam. He hadn’t asked me who was sensible.

  “Yep. Gavin isn’t famous,” Cam replied.

  No, he wasn’t. He also had never starred in one of my fantasies. Those seemed to all be centered on Dean. More so now than they had been when I was younger.

  “Do you think we can go see Slacker Demon in concert this winter when they have a stop close to here?” he asked me. “I’ve always wanted to go to a concert, and it would be super cool if I could see Dean onstage. It could be my Christmas present. I wouldn’t want anything else.”

  Those tickets would be hard to get. I hated to promise something I might not be able to do. Yes, I could ask Dean to help me land two tickets, but I felt weird, asking him for anything now. After … last night.

  “I don’t know if Santa does concert tickets,” I replied, not wanting to tell him no.

  He sighed, and I thought he was going to say more, but he just nodded his head, as if he understood. He didn’t. I knew he didn’t. I would work some nighttime delivery shifts until I had enough to buy the tickets. I’d make it happen.

  twenty-seven

  dean

  I slowed my bike as I turned to cut through the cars parked out front to get to my private drive leading to the garage when I saw Cam sitting on a bench with his sticks, playing a rhythm on his knees as he looked out over the parking lot. His gaze met mine, and he lifted a stick to wave at me. I waved back, then drove my bike over to where he was sitting.

  I had taken a drive to see if it could clear my head of thoughts of his mother. It hadn’t worked. I was about ready to not give a shit and let it be. Who cared about age? It had never bothered me before. Sure, she had a kid, but I liked him. He loved the drums. We had a connection. What was so wrong with the idea? God, I was losing it. The woman had a magic vagina after all.

  I stopped in front of Cam and turned off the bike, then pulled my helmet off so he could see my face. “How’s it going?” I asked him.

  He smiled at me, then shrugged. “Good. I’ve been working on that riff you showed me. I think I got it,” he replied.

  I felt guilty for not showing him more. I’d promised I would, and then I’d just left. I was a jackass. “I’ll have to come hear it. There’s a backbeat I can show you.”

  His eyes widened. “Really? That would be awesome.”

  “Why don’t I call your mom? You two can come up tonight. We can play some, then watch a movie.” And there it was. I was going to do this. I wanted Brielle. I wanted all of her. Screw good decisions.

  Cam’s face fell then, and I paused, not expecting that. Had Brielle said something about not seeing me again? Fuck that shit. I’d go see her sexy ass right now. We would clear that up real damn quick.

  “We can’t tonight. We have a … thing,” he said, looking deflated.

  What thing?

  “How long will it last? You could come up after.”

  I wanted her in my bed tonight. The guest bedroom was on the other side of the penthouse. It was all fixed up for Nate when he visited. Cam would like it. There was even one of those new game stations in there with a flat screen.

  “It’ll be late. We are going to the eight o’clock movie,” he said.