For a moment, I stopped breathing. Had I heard him correctly?

  He nodded his head toward my plate. “Eat.”

  I picked up my sandwich but then realized I was obeying him and stopped. We were gonna have this conversation. He wasn’t going to say something like that and force me to forget it.

  “Why is everything about me seared in your brain?”

  He lifted his eyes to mine and took a drink from his can of beer. The power those dark eyes used to hold over me. Who was I kidding? They still did. They reached me in a way no one else’s could. They had since the first time he’d looked at me.

  “We’re stuck together in a room carved inside a mountain for an undetermined amount of time. Do you really think it is wise for us to dig into that?”

  Yes, as a matter of fact, I did.

  “Why not, Wilder? What else is there to do?”

  He set his beer down with more force than necessary, causing the tiny table to shake. “Don’t, Oakley. Whatever it is you think you’re doing, don’t.”

  “You hate me that much?”

  Wilder shot up out of his seat. “It’s not fucking hate,” he said loud enough for it to be a borderline shout, then stalked across the room.

  I turned and watched as he ran a hand through his hair.

  “I wish I hated you. I wish I could hate you.”

  When he finally turned and his eyes met mine, my heart sped up. From fear of what he would say next to hope that it was something I could cling to, not something that would slice me open. Again.

  “You were the only one I trusted in that family. And you were the one who stood up there in front of that judge and said my lifestyle wasn’t appropriate for a child. That she needed her mother. I know you weren’t the only person that spoke that day, but you were the only one I thought I could trust to defend me. And you didn’t.”

  He sighed heavily. “But then you became Sarah’s favorite person. Her source of security and everything her mom should have been. She adores you, and I know you’d die for her. That … that makes it impossible to hate you.”

  So, it was all about Sarah. Our past was only still living in my head. My heart. I was the one who couldn’t let it go. Just like in life, I was alone in this too. Thinking it and knowing it were two different scenarios. I wished, now, I hadn’t pushed. I’d stupidly thought I would get him to admit he felt something for me. That he always had. That it wasn’t just me who was unable to stop feeling things.

  “I see,” I managed to say, then turned back around and picked up my sandwich. My stomach rebelled at the thought of eating, but I wasn’t going to let him know the level of my disappointment.

  “No, I really doubt you do,” he said in a hoarse whisper.

  “You made it real clear,” I assured him.

  He let out a harsh laugh, and I set my sandwich back down before looking at him. His eyes were closed, and his head was tilted back, facing skyward. His hands were shoved into the pockets of his sweats. The sight of him like that was unfair.

  “Fuck,” he swore under his breath as his eyes snapped open.

  He took the five long strides to reach me. He leaned down and grabbed my arms, pulling me out of the chair. My chest hit his just before his mouth slammed down on mine.

  For a moment, I feared this was a dream and I would wake up at any minute on that sofa. I held on to his biceps, praying this was real. That it wasn’t going to evaporate, leaving me aching. I opened my mouth to his as he ran his tongue along my bottom lip. The second he slid inside, my knees buckled, and his hands went to my waist, tugging me closer.

  A growl vibrated in his chest, causing my entire body to pulse with warmth. I never wanted this to end. I was afraid that when it did, he’d push me away. Give me a taste of how it could have been, then snatch it all from me. No future. No hope for more.

  I heard a whimper and realized it had come from me. It was a mixture of panic and desire. I would do anything to keep him from stopping. If he did, I was most certain I would be destroyed. Never to work correctly again. Completely damaged.

  Wilder’s mouth left mine, but his lips trailed across my heated skin. Along my jawline to my neck. “Stop me,” he said in a low voice near my ear.

  I shivered. “No,” I breathed, my grip on his arms tightening. I could feel my nails biting into his flesh, but I didn’t ease up. I wasn’t letting him stop this.

  His teeth lightly nipped at my earlobe before he picked me up and spun me around to set me on the counter behind him. No longer in danger of melting in a puddle at his feet, I moved my hands up and over his shoulders and into his hair as he kissed down to my collarbone. His hands moved under the oversize sweatshirt, and I gasped, pulling at his hair gently as his callous palms cupped my bare breasts.

  “Oakley,” he said, lifting his eyes from the bared skin, where the sweatshirt hung over one shoulder, “stop me.”

  I stared down at him and licked my swollen lips. He’d kissed me hard enough to leave them tender. I wanted more of that. I shook my head, and his dark eyes turned almost black. He took the hem of the sweatshirt I was wearing and pulled it up and over my head. I lifted my arms as he removed it, realizing this was the first time he’d ever seen me like this. Not from my lack of trying back when he’d been mine.

  Watching him stand there, looking at me as if he was trying to memorize every small curve of my body, made me shiver. My nipples were already hard from his hands being on them, but now, they literally hurt.

  “Jesus,” he whispered. “I knew you would be beautiful, but I wasn’t prepared for this.” He reached out and ran his thumb over one of my sensitive buds. “You’re fucking exquisite.”

  Having Wilder praise me was something straight out of my fantasies, but right now, I needed more. I ran my hand back up his shoulder and pulled him to me. His eyes went to my mouth, and then he gave me what I needed. The taste of him was one I had never forgotten. The way he could command every nerve in my body with just a kiss had amazed me when I was seventeen, and now, I was jealous of every woman he had kissed. I wanted him all to myself.

  When his lips left mine, I started to protest, but he sucked one of my nipples into his hot mouth, and I forgot all else. Gripping his shoulders, I watched him while panting. This was by far the best sexual experience I had ever had, and we weren’t even having sex. Yet. If he tried to walk away from this and not finish, I would tie him down and do it myself.

  His hand slipped into the waist of the sweatpants I was wearing, and he groaned when he found me bare underneath. “Fuck, Oakley,” he said, letting my nipple pop from his lips. “If I’d known you were naked under all this fabric I tried to cover you up with, you’d never have gotten that nap.”

  His eyes stayed on mine, and I opened my legs wider as he shoved his hand between them.

  “AH!” I cried out, gripping the edge of the counter when his finger slid between my wet folds.

  Wilder’s eyes flared with heat as he pushed a finger inside of me. It had been a while since anything had been there. Even my vibrator. I’d gotten bored with having to pleasure myself. But this … this was on a level no vibrator could reach.

  “That’s a tight pussy,” he said with a groan, never taking his eyes off my face. He began to pump his finger in and out slowly. Sounds were coming from me, but I was too lost in this moment. I had no clue what I was saying or doing. I just didn’t want him to stop.

  “So damn gorgeous; it hurts,” he rasped before taking the sweats and pulling them off me, leaving me naked and on display. “Goddamn, it just keeps getting better.”

  He placed his hands on my knees and spread my legs. My body flushed as he looked at me there. It wasn’t that I was a virgin or anything because that ship had sailed with Sebastian. But it was that Wilder was the one touching me. Seeing me like this.

  His hands slipped down to my calves, and he gripped them, then bent my knees, bringing my feet up until my heels were on the edge of the counter. My chest was rising and falling so quickly as I struggled to catch my breath. Wilder slipped his hands under my butt and pulled me forward just before he lowered his mouth. The world around me faded away the moment his tongue flicked over my clit. I cried out as my hand went to his head and held him there as I began to tremble. I wanted to watch. See him kiss me, taste me, but I was also fighting the pure euphoria of the experience, and my eyes wanted to close and get lost in it.

  “So fucking sweet.” His husky voice vibrated against me, and I moaned, helpless.

  He could do and say whatever he wanted. I was his to use.

  “Jesus,” he muttered.

  I opened my eyes to see him licking me as he shoved his hand into the front of his sweats and pulled out his erection, wrapping his fingers around it. The muscles on his arm flexed as he pumped himself while continuing to ravish me with his mouth.

  He lifted his eyes to lock with mine. The hunger in them matched my own, and I was suddenly jealous of his hand for being the one to bring him pleasure. I wanted to do that. I tried to tell him just that when he slid a finger inside me as his tongue work got more intense. All that came from my lips were sounds from the frenzy building inside of me.

  “Wilder,” I cried out as the crest began to pull at me.

  “I want to taste it,” he said, not stopping what he was doing. “Come on my face, baby.”

  That one request was all it took. I arched my back as bliss flooded my body. I shook when Wilder stilled.

  His eyes were on my face as his mouth fell slightly open and his body jerked. “Fuuuuck,” he groaned, and I trembled as another climax overtook me from the sight of Wilder coming. His release shot out, splashing the inside of my thighs and the counter.

  The only sound was our ragged breathing as we both came down from our orgasms. When he pulled his sweats back up, covering himself, and reached over to grab a hand towel to clean me up, I took it from him. He wasn’t going to close up on me now. Not after that. I refused to allow it.

  “I was going to wipe up my mess,” he said.

  I took my time doing it while he watched me before dropping my legs over the counter and handing him back the towel. His eyes were on my naked body, and I sat there, letting him look. I’d do whatever I needed to do to make sure he wasn’t going to go back to the way we had been. If I had to use his desire for my body, then so be it. I was weak and willing to take whatever I could get from the man.

  “I’ll get your clothes,” he said and started to move, but I reached out to grab his arm. He looked down at it, then back at me. “I need to cover you up, Oakley.” His eyes slid back down to my chest.

  He had a weakness, and I was going to abuse it. I’d judge myself later.

  “Why?”

  He tensed under my hand, and his throat worked as he swallowed hard. “Because I want to fuck you and we don’t have a condom down here.” He lifted his eyes back to mine. “Now, let me dress you before I lose my goddamn mind.”

  I could be a good girl and do what he’d said, or I could be a bad girl and do what he wanted. I was going with the latter. It had been nine years of wanting a man I couldn’t have. We were stuck in this room, and I was taking advantage of it. Because when we were set free, I wanted to be sure he wouldn’t shut me out. Put me at a distance. Return to hating me.

  “I’m on the shot, and I’ve not had sex in three years. I’ve been tested,” I told him.

  His jaw clenched, and his eyes darkened. “That’s a long time.”

  I nodded. “Yeah, it is.”

  “Why has it been that long?”

  Here it was. My moment to lay it all out there. Be completely vulnerable. Give him the power to crush me. I was going to take it.

  “Because they were never you. I got tired of trying to find a replacement.” There’s some honesty for you, Wilder Jones.

  His nostrils flared, and he inhaled sharply. “I can’t fuck you just once. It won’t be enough.”

  “I’m counting on that,” I replied, leaning forward and closer to him. Reaching out, I ran a nail down his chest.

  “Dammit,” he muttered, then grabbed my waist and picked me up.

  I wrapped my legs around his hips as he carried me over to the bed.

  “This is a bad idea,” he warned me, dropping me onto the mattress, but his eyes flared as he watched my breasts bounce.

  “I think it’s an excellent idea,” I replied, licking my lips as I stared up at him.

  “This can’t change anything between us,” he said, breathing hard. “We can’t be more than friends. There is too much shit between us, and Sarah couldn’t handle the fallout when the sex wasn’t enough anymore.”

  Those words hurt. I didn’t want to hear him tell me this was just a fuck. But his eyes were telling me something else, and that was what I clung to.

  “Okay. If that is the way you want it,” I agreed, knowing I was going to do my best to change his mind.

  If he let me, I could love him enough for both of us. I would never be done with him or this. Sarah would have us both. All the time.

  Twenty-Six

  Wilder

  A wise man would stop this. He’d think about his daughter and the repercussions. Which was what I should be doing. It was what I always did. Sarah’s needs came first. But … the one woman I had never been able to rip from my damn soul was naked on a bed in front of me and asking for me to fuck her.

  Whatever hell I was going to face in the future for this, I would deal with it then.

  Oakley’s blue eyes stared up at me, and that old familiar tug in my chest was there. Bringing me in, making me weak, but this time, she wasn’t a kid. She wasn’t off at college, flirting with guys her age. Her taste was on my tongue, and her body was trembling as she waited for me.

  “I was tested after the last time I had sex, but I always use a condom,” I told her, giving in to this.

  “I trust you,” was her response.

  Fuck, Oakley, don’t say that shit.

  I had to find a way to save myself from getting lost in this woman. She wasn’t helping. It was as if she knew the power she had over me and was using it to the best of her ability.

  She moved back onto the bed, then let her legs fall open. My hands fisted at the sight she made. I moved over her slowly, wanting to soak in every fucking second of this.

  I hadn’t had a wet dream that Oakley Watson hadn’t starred in since the moment I’d laid eyes on her. She had once been the only thing I wanted in life. My entire soul had been owned by her. I would have given her the world. Turned my back on everything and everyone to have her. I’d forever changed the relationship with my cousin, Wells, because I couldn’t stay away from her. We had both moved on, but he and I had no connection anymore other than the family.

  She lifted her hand and cupped the side of my face, and the simple touch made my body shudder. God, why did it have to be this woman who reached me in a place no one else could touch? Anyone but her. But it was always her.

  Closing the space between us, she brushed her mouth over mine, and I was lost. The sweetness of her soft lips caused me to groan as I lowered my hips, pressing my rock-hard cock between her open legs. The heat from her seeped through the fabric of my sweats as I devoured her, drinking in her candy taste as she clung to me.

  This was getting too close to making love. I’d never done that, and it wasn’t about to start with Oakley. I’d never recover from it. Moving a hand down to grip her hip, I rocked against her as I tugged her bottom lip into my mouth and sucked.

  The scent of her arousal was making me lightheaded. I was losing it. I had fuck her and be done with it. Get myself together. Moving off her, I stood and shoved my pants down, then stepped out of them before grabbing her leg and pulling her over to the side of the mattress.

  “Get up and lean over the bed,” I told her.

  I couldn’t sink my dick in this woman and see those eyes while I did it. Not if I was going to keep my damn head. I had to remember, this was not leading to more. We were just fucking.

  The excitement in her gaze almost undid me as she obeyed. Having her ass stuck up in the air wasn’t much easier. Jesus Christ, that was a humbling view. I sure as shit hoped I could fuck her out of my system before anyone returned to tell us she was safe and could leave.

  I slid my hands over her ass, unable to keep from touching her gently. It was hard to remember this was just for pleasure. The man in me that had once loved her—to the brink of insanity, which she had brought me to when I lost her—was inside, trying to control this.

  Treasure her the way he had wanted to. But she wasn’t a virgin anymore. She wasn’t that girl I had loved.

  The thought that another man had been the one to take her innocence sent an unhinged emotion through me. My hands tightened on her hips, and I inhaled sharply as I slammed inside of her tight entrance.

  Oakley threw her head back as she cried out. Reaching for her hair, I held it, pulling it as I started to slide out, then thrust back into her wet cunt, which squeezed me so damn incredible that it made my knees shake.

  This was amazing. No, it was more than that. Fucking wasn’t supposed to feel like a claiming. It was just a release.

  This—this—was as close to heaven as I would ever get. I knew it as she moaned my name and pushed back, meeting my hips with a slap of our skin.

  “Fuck,” I cursed through my clenched teeth. “Fuck, that’s good.”

  “Harder, Wilder,” she begged, and my heart pounded faster in my chest.

  I tightened my hold on her hair and jerked. She began to rotate her hips, milking my cock.

  “I need more,” she panted.

  Leaning down, I licked at the damp skin before pulling her head to the side and sinking my teeth into her neck, sucking on it.