“You think I went and slept with Sylvia because I wanted her? Think about it, Oakley. I was so damn obsessed with you. Why would I make that mistake? I know about the guys at college. I know you were living your life and sowing your wild oats. When I found out, it destroyed me. It felt like someone had reached into my chest and ripped my damn heart out with their hands.” He turned and stalked away from me. His body rigid. “FUCK, Oakley! I didn’t want to talk about the past. It’s done. Those are your words, right?” he asked as he spun back around to glare at me accusingly.

  I opened my mouth and closed it, still horrified. Shaking my head, I managed to find my voice. “I never had sex with anyone in college,” I choked out. “I lost my virginity to Sebastian, Wilder, and you had already divorced Sylvia by that time.”

  He said nothing as he stood there and looked at me. His dark, piercing gaze hardened. “You’re lying.”

  A humorless laugh full of pain escaped me.

  How had he even thought I would do that? Had he not picked up on the fact that he was all I wanted in this life? I told him several times a day that I loved him. I’d even worried that I had driven him away because of my constant texting and need to talk to him.

  “I’m not.” My voice sounded hoarse from the tears clogging my throat. “Ask Sebastian yourself. He was the first guy to see me naked. I’d been a nervous wreck. Then … when we finally had sex, well, he can tell you that I was a virgin. All I wanted back then was you. I wasn’t throwing myself at you because I wanted to have sex. I just wanted you.”

  Wilder shoved his fingers into his hair as a wild look lit his eyes. “Tell me this is a fucking joke, Oakley.”

  I shook my head. “No.”

  His shoulders lifted and fell hard as he breathed. “That can’t be true.” His voice was laced with steel.

  “It is.”

  The veins on his neck stood out, and his face flushed red. “NO, IT CAN’T BE!” he shouted. “IF IT IS, THEN-” He stopped and stalked across the room, as far from me as he could get. Balling his hands into fists, he hit them against the rock wall and dropped his head as he leaned there, holding himself up.

  “Why did you think—” I started to ask and stopped.

  His body was so rigid that I wasn’t sure I needed to push this right now. But he had believed I was cheating on him? I couldn’t wrap my head around that. I had worshipped the ground he walked on. Everyone knew it. His friends made jokes about it. My roommate at college had teased me about all the pictures I had of Wilder on my side of the room.

  “She told me,” he said with an enraged breath. “Sylvia told me, and I believed her.”

  Wrapping my arms around my naked chest, I suddenly felt exposed by my nudity. The reminder of Sylvia and the things she had done to hurt me was the last thing I wanted. How she had made sure people thought the worst of me. How my father had preferred her over me. But Wilder was the one I had trusted. He had known me, seen me, and … the thought that he would believe her over me was a new hurt I hadn’t been prepared for.

  He dropped his hands, and I bent down to get the sweatshirt off the floor. I needed to be covered. I had to get some space. My chest was so tight that I didn’t think I could breathe.

  “She had pictures of you at parties. One with a guy, and your hands were around his neck. He was holding you around your waist.”

  I blinked as I held the shirt in front of me. What picture? I shook my head. I didn’t know what he was talking about.

  “You can’t deny a fucking picture, Oakley. You might not have been having sex with him, but you sure as hell were cozy with him. Do you have any idea how seeing another guy touching you and how fucking happy you were about it destroyed me?”

  “Wilder, I—what picture? Why would Sylvia have a picture of me at college? At a party?”

  “Facebook. You were tagged in it. You told me you were going to a party. Your friend Sam had invited you. I trusted you. I thought you loved me. Then, Sylvia showed me the picture. She said she had more, but seeing it made me sick. I couldn’t look at any more of them. I went to the bar, started drinking. Anything to numb the pain. I drank until I blacked out. I woke up with Sylvia in my bed.”

  Sam. I closed my eyes and leaned back against the edge of the sink. A heaviness unlike any I had ever felt settled over me.

  “Sam,” I said softly and closed my eyes.

  I knew that picture. I remembered that night. Every moment of it. The week before Thanksgiving. Everyone had been leaving to go home for the holiday, and there had been a party.

  “Yeah, Sam. Remember now?” he asked.

  I nodded. “Yeah, I do.”

  “Then, you understand why I believed her. Even if you didn’t fuck him, you both were very comfortable, touching each other. I didn’t touch other girls, Oakley. I didn’t even notice them. You were all I wanted. And you so casually let another guy put his hands on you. Get close to you.” The accusation in his voice didn’t hide his pain.

  “Sam is gay. He and Ross were two of my closest friends during my time at Ole Miss. They were the reason I survived after—” I stopped and looked down at the ground.

  He had thought I’d cheated. Because of a stupid picture Ross had posted on his Facebook page and tagged me. I’d never even used Facebook back then or now. I just had it, like everyone else did. But Sylvia had been watching me. For what? To find me making a mistake?

  “Gay.” The word came out in a whisper.

  “Yeah. I follow them on Instagram. They’re married now. They have a daughter, Arabella, who is six. They adopted her three years ago.”

  I knew in that moment that all I had once thought changed. It was clear. The past. The disbelief that I could have been so wrong about what I thought Wilder and I had. The destruction it had caused us. The hate he’d had toward me for so long and the revenge I had taken out on him in court that day. Something he hadn’t deserved. Something I could never take back.

  Yet, knowing the lie Sylvia had told and the pain she’d inflicted, I couldn’t hate her for it. Because the truth was, if we could go back in time, I wouldn’t change it. Without her lie, without the hell I had suffered because of it, there would be no Sarah, and I wouldn’t trade anything for her. I’d go through it all again to have her.

  “We both know the truth now,” I finally said. “And neither one of us would go back and do anything differently. We both know that too.”

  He ran his hand over his face and leaned back against the wall. “This is …” He sighed. “Fuck.”

  “I’ve spent years trying to hate you. Sometimes, I thought I did. Other times, I wished like hell I did. Knowing the truth, it helps. I understand, and maybe I can finally heal. Finally let go of what we once were. Maybe…”

  His eyes lifted to meet mine. “Can you? Because I don’t think that’s what this knowledge does for me. I have a fucking mountain of regrets I made with you that I’m not sure I can work through. At least not anytime soon.” The agony in his expression, which he wasn’t even trying to mask, broke me.

  I slipped the sweatshirt over my head. It hit me mid-thigh, and I felt covered enough before walking across the room to stand in front of him. He didn’t move, but his eyes stayed on me. Never once wavering.

  “We both have regrets, Wilder. But we wanted to punish each other. We were hurt. That can’t be something we let control us.”

  His eyes dropped to my mouth. “It’s not that easy,” he said. “I don’t know if I can move past it. Let it go.” He inhaled sharply. “Sebastian was the one to take your virginity—something you’d held on to for so long. And you gave it to him. A man I have to see, work with, and know he loved you and had you in a way I never will.”

  I wanted to laugh at that, but I didn’t. Wilder would misunderstand my humor. But the thought that Sebastian had ever had more of me than Wilder was so far from the truth. He’d taken my virginity, but that night, I had cried. Because it hadn’t been Wilder. I never opened my heart to Sebastian, and he tried hard to reach me. Even going as far as asking me to marry him. Telling me he loved me enough for the both of us and that he’d spend his life making me fall in love with him.

  “I need some air,” Wilder said, moving away from me. “Will you be okay with being alone for a little bit?”

  No. I wanted him here. But I also didn’t think I could fix what was wrong. Not when he was shutting me out like this. I wasn’t going to beg him. I’d done that already. No more.

  “Sure,” I lied.

  Twenty-Eight

  Wilder

  Stepping back into the cave, I felt guilty for leaving Oakley here, but I had needed to clear my head. Hit shit. Curse. Lose my goddamn temper, and I hadn’t wanted to do it in front of her.

  The room was silent as I walked through the small hallway. It was past midnight, so when I found Oakley curled up on the sofa, asleep, I wasn’t surprised.

  The reality of all this was twisted up so badly that there was no clear way to see it. She was right. We wouldn’t change what had happened because of Sarah. She made the difference. But I would change the after. I’d never have treated Oakley like I had. Fuck, I would have begged her to forgive me. There would have been no wedding with Sylvia.

  The what-could-have-beens. Everything we had lost. It would forever darken my world. I’d never get past knowing I’d had her once and lost her. She’d been mine.

  I looked at her as I removed my shirt and took off the sweats. I knew there were still things coming and that we couldn’t change the past, but for tonight, I was going to hold her. I was going to sleep in a bed with Oakley Watson in my arms. Finally. Even if I just got it tonight. All the reasons this was a bad idea be damned.

  Wearing only my boxers, I went over and pulled the covers back to see Oakley still wearing just the sweatshirt. Her naked ass pressed against me was going to be a temptation, but I didn’t care. Reaching down, I picked her up, and she curled into me, pressing her face to my chest.

  Emotions for this woman that I had thought were gone, never to return, came barreling back with a vengeance. The need to cherish her, love her, own her were there, threatening to take over again. I couldn’t do that. Not now. We were two different people. Age, time, and circumstances had made sure of it.

  I placed her on the bed, then lay down behind her, tugging the covers up over our bodies. Wrapping my arm around her waist, I buried my nose in her hair. God, this was heaven. The warmth of her body against mine, her scent surrounding me. I could die right here, content.

  No! I had to stop letting my head go there. Fuck that. It wasn’t my head in danger here. It was my heart. I had to keep up my guard. And I would—tomorrow. Right now, I was enjoying this. I was going to revel in it.

  “Wilder?” Her voice was raspy from sleep.

  I tightened my arm around her. “Yeah.”

  “Mmm,” she murmured and wiggled her ass against my already-hard cock.

  I closed my eyes and tried to control my reaction. She was half asleep.

  “I like this.”

  Yeah, well, I fucking loved it. I didn’t respond, but she shifted again, as if she was trying to get closer. We were on a twin bed, and any closer, she’d have to be on top of me. That image made my cock twitch.

  Unable to help myself, I pressed a kiss to her temple. “Go back to sleep, baby.”

  She let out a happy sigh and rubbed her ass on me again.

  “Oakley, stop wiggling. You keep it up, and I’m going to end up fucking you.”

  I felt her stomach jump with a quick breath at my words, and then she turned over to face me. Even in the darkened room, her pale blue eyes were bright.

  “That’s not exactly a threat,” she said in a sultry voice.

  The reasons why I shouldn’t do this were more than I wanted to count, and not one of them mattered. Not right now. Not with her in this cave, in this bed with me, staring up at me with those eyes. An open invitation.

  I lowered my mouth to hers and kissed her gently, savoring how it felt to have her in a bed, kissing her, touching her. Things I’d fantasized about for so long. Things I’d never thought I would get to experience.

  Her hand slid up my arm and into my hair as she opened her sweet lips and let me in. All other problems faded away. This was Oakley, soft and needy in my arms. The girl who used to dance in the rain, ask me what the best part of my day was, press kisses all over my face while she told me how much she loved me.

  She draped her leg over my hip and pressed her warm center against my erection, then let out a low moan. The wetness from her need seeped through the cotton on my boxers, and I trembled.

  I wanted her. I wanted inside her. I wanted her under me.

  I rolled on top of her, breaking the kiss to get the sweatshirt off her body. Her plump, well-kissed lips were slightly parted as she stared up at me. My eyes fell to her tits, bouncing with her quick, short breaths. She opened her legs and shifted her hips. Her lashes fluttered as she let out a sexy little sound the moment my hard dick rubbed her clit.

  Unable to take any more, I sat up and removed my boxers. The way her eyes widened with excitement when my dick was freed made me feel like a damn king. I had to get inside her. Feel her squeezing me, milking me while I looked down into those blue eyes.

  “Please,” she begged me, lifting her hips.

  I was done. Nothing mattered but fucking this woman. My brain had short-circuited, and my cock was now in control.

  Grabbing her thigh, I held her steady as I sank into her. The pure euphoria of the hot velvet sucking me in as pleasure washed over that gorgeous face was incomparable to anything I had ever felt. Me. I was giving that to her. She wanted me. This wasn’t someone else taking what had been mine. It was my dick in her tight pussy. Getting back what had been taken from me.

  “That’s fucking heaven, baby,” I groaned. “It’s like fucking a damn angel. Sinking my dick in your pussy while seeing that pretty face.”

  Her back arched, and she made one of her throaty moans. “Wilder.” My name sounded like she was pleading.

  “You need more? Want it harder?” I asked.

  Any self-control I’d thought I had was gone. The animal in me wanted to grab her hips and ride her hard. Lose myself in the ecstasy. Forget my own damn name.

  “Please, yes, that’s so good,” she begged.

  My hands sank into her flesh, and I began to slam into her like a man possessed.

  “FUCK! That pussy is mine!”

  In that moment, I wanted it to be. I wanted to murder every damn man who had been here before.

  Oakley lifted her knees, opening up more, then wrapped her long legs around my waist. “Oh God, Wilder!”

  There was nothing on earth as beautiful this woman as I fucked her. God, she was perfect.

  Mine. Mine. That damn word kept pounding in my head, and I wanted to shout it. Make sure the world heard it.

  But it wasn’t fucking true. I didn’t deserve her.

  But right now, in this moment, she was going to be mine. I’d make sure her body never forgot how I could make her feel.

  “That’s it, beautiful girl. Take my cock. Come all over it. Let me feel you soak me before I shoot my release deep inside you.”

  Her nails sank into my arms as she threw her head back. “WILDER!” she screamed as her body jerked beneath me.

  The sight of her sent me over into the bliss along with her. My entire body shook as I began to unload inside her. Knowing she was being filled with me only made it all the more powerful. My eyes were locked on her face as I rode the frenzy our bodies were caught up in.

  “Wilder.” She let out another strangled cry and tightened around me again as she clung to me.

  I pulled her against me, wrapping my arms around her as I rolled onto my back. She was lying half on top of me as I gasped to take a deep breath, still buried in her silky sheath. Easing my hips back, I slid out of her, hating to end the connection. I wanted to stay this way. Not face reality. Let it just be us. Here. Like this.

  She pressed a kiss to my chest and sighed contentedly. My arms flexed as I held her. Neither of us spoke, as if afraid to end the moment.

  When her breathing began to slow and deepen, I closed my eyes. An odd sense of something I wasn’t familiar with tugged at me just as I eased off into sleep.

  Twenty-Nine

  Oakley

  “Well, isn’t that sweet?” a deep voice drawled.

  I opened my eyes as Wilder’s arms locked around me.

  King was standing in the room, looking at us with an amused gleam in his eye. “Y’all got about five minutes before we have company. And one of them is someone you probably don’t want to walk in and see this, but on the other hand, it would be entertaining as fuck.”

  “Shit,” Wilder muttered. “Do you not fucking knock?”

  King shrugged. “I did. No answer. I thought I might find this and was giving you a heads-up. Thatcher, Storm, and Sebastian are on their way out here. We have an update, and we have to get moving.”

  I started to get up, but Wilder didn’t release me. If anything, his hold got tighter.

  “Go outside and wait for them. I’ll come open the door when we’re ready.” His voice was thick with sleep, making his annoyance sound sexy.

  “If I keep them from coming in, then they’re gonna know why,” King said.

  “I don’t give a fuck. Oakley needs some privacy to get dressed. Get out!”

  I shivered, suddenly very turned on. That voice with his naked chest pressed against my bare back did things to me.

  King gave me a look like he could read my mind and chuckled before turning to leave. “Hurry it up,” he called out.

  The moment the door closed, Wilder released me. “Go get dressed or showered. Whatever you need to do.”

  When I didn’t move, he let out a groan. “Oakley, please.”