Why was she asking me if what she was wearing was okay? We didn’t talk about her clothes, and she didn’t care about shit like that. Genesis would rather be comfortable. She wore jeans with rips and her favorite Chucks most of the time. Today, she was wearing a short sundress though. That was strange. She looked like a girl. If she wasn’t my best friend, then I’d go as far as saying she looked hot. But this was Genesis. She wasn’t a hot girl. She was … well, she was Baby Doll—the girl next door, the center of our trio.

  “Yeah, sure. Come on over. We are heading downstairs now.”

  “Okay. Be there in a few!” she said, then closed her window, and I did the same.

  I started to walk off and realized Bowie was still looking over at Genesis’s house. I glanced back, and she was brushing her hair. I shifted my gaze back to him, and he was still watching her. What the fuck? Why was he watching her brush her hair? It was creepy, and he needed to stop.

  “Dude?” I asked.

  He turned his head toward me. “Yeah?”

  I looked at him questioningly. “Why are you looking at Genesis like that?”

  He rolled his eyes and sighed. “You don’t see it, do you?”

  I looked back at Genesis, and, yeah, I saw it. Her hair was different. Even without the sun on it. There were highlights. Then, the dress showed off the shape of her body. That bothered me. Why was she showing people that?

  “No. Not really. I mean, she’s got on a dress, and, yeah, that’s fucking strange,” I lied. No way I was admitting shit to him or anyone. That would make things awkward.

  Bowie laughed. “I guess I should be happy about that.”

  Why? I studied him as he looked at her again. He needed to stop that shit right now. Genesis was our friend. She wasn’t a regular girl.

  “What the fuck are you talking about?”

  Bowie pointed at the window. “Genesis is, like … she’s pretty. Real pretty.”

  I scowled. His words felt like a slap in my face. I didn’t like hearing him verbalizing something I had already noticed. I was just ignoring it. I had to shut this down now, before he fucked up everything. We were friends. The three of us. It was how it was supposed to be.

  “What? Baby Doll? We are talking about the same person, right?” I asked him.

  He had an amused smirk. “Yeah. She’s changed this year.”

  I shook my head, as if he were insane. I wished she’d stop changing. Go back to being the girl who dressed like a boy.

  “No. She’s the same girl we’ve been friends with since we were eight. Except she’s taller and she doesn’t climb trees anymore,” I told him.

  Bowie had a confused expression. “Whatever,” he said. “Let’s go downstairs and get shit ready for the party?”

  “Yeah.”

  And to stop talking about Genesis like she was … a regular girl.

  She wasn’t. She was our glue. Without her, we wouldn’t have the perfect trio. Bowie seeing her as a girl meant that would end. If I could ignore how she looked, then he could too. He had to see her like me, just Baby Doll. Our best friend.

  Genesis—Sixteen Years Old

  June 1

  Bowie was scowling. I knew he was pissed about my bikini, but he could get over it. I crossed my arms under my boobs and walked over to stand in front of him. His gaze went to my chest, then finally met mine.

  “Are we really going to fight at Kye’s birthday party?” I asked him, irritated.

  His nostrils flared. “I don’t like that fucking bikini, Gen, and you know it.”

  “It covers more than what most everyone else has on,” I told him, then stepped closer to him and put my arms around his neck. “You didn’t used to get so upset about my bikinis.”

  His gaze dropped back to my chest again, and he sighed. “Yeah, well, until this year, your tits weren’t C cups either.”

  I laughed and went up on my tiptoes to place a kiss on his lips. “You weren’t complaining about that in the back of your truck last night,” I whispered.

  His hands cupped my butt, and he jerked me against him. “I love your tits. I just don’t like others looking.”

  He pressed a kiss to the mole that was located above the corner of my upper lip. Turned out, my mom had been right. I liked my beauty mark a lot.

  “It’s my birthday,” Kye announced, slapping us both on the back. “Stop eye-fucking each other long enough to make this about me.”

  Bowie rolled his eyes, then looked at him. “When is shit not about you?” he asked him.

  Kye raised his eyebrows. “Right fucking now. You’re all worked up because Baby Doll put on a bikini and the jealousy monster has taken over.” Kye looked at me. “You are stealing the show.”

  If any other guy called me the nickname Baby Doll, Bowie would have his fist in their face. But Kye had labeled me Baby Doll when we were kids. He thought it was funny.

  “It’s more conservative than Ricki’s bikini,” I pointed out.

  Ricki was Kye’s flavor of the week.

  Kye bit his bottom lip and groaned. “Fucking hell, it barely covers her double Ds.”

  “Jesus, Kye,” Bowie replied with a laugh.

  Kye flicked his tongue ring. His dad had taken him to get it pierced for his birthday, and he was always clicking it against his teeth. I had to admit, it was sexy, just like everything else about Kye. Every female in school thought so. He was my best friend though. I could admit he was sexy and not feel anything.

  I loved Bowie. I mean, I loved Kye too. That would never change. But it was Bowie who had made the difference. Kye would always see me as one of the guys. Since the summer I’d turned twelve, Bowie had made it clear that he saw me as more. That more had turned into an us.

  “I’m gonna fuck those tits as soon as I get her back to my truck, but later, y’all are still coming over, right?”

  I glanced at Bowie. It was tradition. We stayed the night in Kye’s den in the basement of his house. Our night was normally filled with horror movies, video games, and junk food. It had changed over the years some. We no longer all slept on the same sofa bed together. That would be awkward. The sodas had been exchanged for beer, and we didn’t eat as much candy anymore.

  “Yeah, we’ll be there,” Bowie told him.

  Kye grinned. “Good. Be sure to get the making-out shit done before you get there. I don’t want to watch that once our night begins.”

  Bowie shook his head and laughed. Kye always said exactly what he was thinking. There was no filter there at all. It was part of what made him Kye.

  Smiling, I laid my head on Bowie’s chest and sighed. It was funny to think that I’d once had the crush on Kye. Back when the boys still thought of me as one of the guys. I used to daydream about the day Kye would notice me as a girl in the same way he noticed other girls. But that had never happened. I was thankful for that. Kye wasn’t meant for one girl, and he’d have broken my heart. I’d have lost this. What we have now.

  Sure, when Bowie had bought me flowers and asked me to the junior high dance, things had changed for us—but in a way that worked. The day that Bowie asked me to be his girlfriend, I knew in my heart it had never been Kye for me. I’d gotten that confused because of Kye’s dominating presence. He was hard to look past. Kye was my best friend and also a ridiculously sexy, funny, and very charming man-whore, who everyone wanted to be around.

  Genesis—Seventeen Years Old

  June 1

  The basement was too quiet as I walked down the stairs. Coming here was the last thing I’d wanted to do, but I had to. For Kye. And maybe for me too.

  When I reached the bottom step, I saw Kye sitting in the faded brown leather recliner with a bottle of Corona dangling from one tattooed hand and a cigarette in the other. His eyes locked on me, but he didn’t smile. There was no gleam of mischief in his eyes. It was as void as my chest felt because I was here without Bowie.

  “You came,” he said, then put the cigarette between his lips.

  “Did you honestly think I wouldn’t?” I asked him, walking farther into the den. Memories of Bowie flooding me. My chest ached as I thought of the last time we’d all three been in this basement together. It was something I had known would destroy us.

  “No,” Kye said through his teeth that still held the cigarette. Then, he reached up and took it out of his mouth. “I knew you’d show, Baby Doll,” he replied, then sighed heavily. “Fuck, it’s hard to sit down here.”

  I sank down onto the sofa and crossed my legs, leaning back. “Yeah, it is,” I agreed.

  Kye took a drink of his beer, then held it out to me.

  I reached forward and took it. Placing it to my lips, I took a long pull from it before handing it back to him. “We probably need tequila,” I said.

  He nodded.

  Kye didn’t live here anymore. He had moved out to live with his dad shortly after the breakup. I knew it was his way of coping. He ran from it rather than facing it. Not having Kye there, in the window across from my own, had been painful, but then it had probably been for the best.

  “Has he spoken to you at all?” Kye asked.

  A lump formed in my throat. “No,” I whispered.

  Kye turned his head to look at me. “Are you doing okay?”

  I shrugged. I wasn’t sure anymore. “I miss him … us.”

  Kye put his cigarette out in an ashtray and got up from the chair to move over beside me. He put his arm behind me. “I’ve not been the greatest best friend either. I’m sorry about that.”

  At first, I had hated Kye for kissing me. For drinking too much and then telling me things that, deep down, I wanted to hear. I blamed it all on him. But as the days wore on and I faced life, walking past Bowie at school and seeing him with other girls, I had realized it was equally my fault. I had wanted that kiss.

  Unspoken words hung in the air, which I doubted we would ever acknowledge. Regret was one thing that we both felt so deeply that it ruled out all the rest- the years of friendship we had destroyed in a few moments of weakness. The girl in me who had once held that crush somehow took over my brain that night. She hadn’t cared about anything but that Kye was finally kissing her.

  Kye was a wild, unattainable life force. He didn’t see past his own light most of the time. That night, with too much to drink, he’d forgotten about Bowie. Neither of us had thought about anything but the way we felt even if it had been fleeting.

  “I’m sorry I fucked it all up,” he said, then put the bottle to his lips again.

  “I blamed you for a long time, but the truth is, I was equally at fault. I participated.”

  He let out a long sigh, but said nothing. The silence was deafening, and I needed it to go away. I wanted to fill it.

  “My curiosity had gotten the best of me.”

  Kye turned and looked at me. “Is that what it was? Curiosity?”

  No. But that was all I would ever admit to because admitting more meant I would lose him too. I couldn’t lose them both. In a sense, I had already lost Kye, but he still texted me sometimes. He didn’t act as if I were invisible, the way Bowie did.

  I reached for the beer in his hand and took a drink, then handed it back to him. “You’re the only best friend I have left. I don’t want to ever ruin that. I can’t lose you, Kye.” And it was true.

  Maybe that would change once I was gone. I was leaving for college next summer. I had to get away from here. From all I had lost. That we had lost.

  Kye squeezed my arm. “Starting now, I’m going to change. I’m going to be the best friend you deserve. I’ll make up for all I did. I swear it.”

  I closed my eyes and sighed. I wasn’t sure he could do that, but I knew Kye meant well. He wanted to be the good guy. He’d just always let Bowie hold that title. Kye excelled at being free, unpredictable, and unreliable. Yet I loved that about him.

  “I just have senior year left, and then I’m going to college in Savannah, Georgia,” I told him.

  The last time we had spoken over the phone, I’d mentioned moving away for college. I knew Kye wouldn’t be leaving. His future wasn’t college. Kye had been born into something much darker. His father and his grandfather were both in the Mafia. The one south of the Mason-Dixon line. Kye was already in that world. He’d grown up in it when he visited his dad. It was all he’d planned on in life since he had been a kid.

  “Damn, Baby Doll, I was hoping you wouldn’t go farther than Gainesville,” he said, turning his head to look at me.

  That was an option I’d thought about, but it was too close. I was sure that Bowie would be going to Gainesville.

  “If I want to pursue fashion design, then I need to go to a college that can help me.” That was also a reason.

  He nodded and pulled me against his side, pressing a kiss to the top of my head. “Yeah, I get it,” he said softly. “I’m just gonna fucking miss you. I swear I’ll be around more this year. I won’t let you down.”

  Kye—Twenty Years Old

  June 1

  Using my key to unlock the door, I walked inside my mom’s old house, which Genesis was renting during her summer break. My mom had remarried and moved to Key West three years ago, but she’d kept my childhood home for visits here. Genesis using it made me fucking happy.

  The vanilla-cinnamon scent hit me, and I smiled. I tossed my keys on the counter as I passed the kitchen and headed to the living room.

  “Honey, I’m home!” I called out teasingly.

  “You’re earlier than I expected. I just got out of the shower.” Genesis’s voice carried down the hallway. “Give me a few minutes.”

  My gaze swung over to the coffee table, covered in snacks. The usual was there—chocolate chip cookies, brownies, Rice Krispies Treats, which she didn’t bake, but bought from a bakery in town because Baby Doll didn’t bake or cook. There was a bowl of regular M&M’s—my favorite—a bowl of popcorn, and the mandatory bowl of fruit that neither of us ate but was there in case we might want something healthy.

  The cupcakes in the center of it all were new though. I could tell from here they were my favorite chocolate cake with vanilla icing. Again, those had come from a bakery—no way Genesis had made them. They looked fucking delicious, and when my girl tried to bake, it was rarely edible. The one in the center had an unlit candle. Grinning, I grabbed a cookie and flopped down on the sofa to wait on her.

  “I thought I’d have time to finish my shower before you got here. I figured the party with the Lords of the Underworld would keep you out later,” Genesis told me as she walked around the sofa and took a seat beside me.

  She’d been calling the family the Lords of the Underworld since I’d told her about them when I was sixteen.

  My dad had gotten me my first tattoo, and I’d been so fucking pumped. Genesis was shocked that my dad would let me get one at my age. Then, Bowie said something about a tattoo being the least of the things my dad would let me do. Genesis had always known how to make me talk. She wouldn’t let that go. Finally, I caved and explained the family to her.

  When I was done, she had stared at me and said, “So, you are telling me that instead of college, you’re going to just join the Lords of the Underworld in organized crime?”

  Bowie had spit his drink and doubled over, laughing. I’d been annoyed though. In her eyes, I was already the one who didn’t measure up. Bowie was the golden boy. He did all the right things, said all the right things, treated her like a fucking princess. I was the hell-raiser.

  I still was, but Bowie had been out of the picture for years.

  “So, tell me about the party. How many strippers did you bang? Did y’all slice open the veins of your enemies and drink their blood?” She popped an M&M in her mouth, grinning at me.

  Genesis was a complete smart-ass. An adorable smart-ass.

  I leaned back and wiggled my eyebrows at her. “You want to know my head count?” I asked.

  She sucked on the M&M in her mouth, which was the way she ate the damn things and one of the reasons I loved them so much. “It’s your birthday, Kye. I’m your best friend. You have to share all the details.”

  I held up two fingers.

  She placed her hand over her heart and gasped. “Just two? You’re slacking in your old age,” she taunted me.

  I smirked. “Baby Doll, I can assure you that nothing about me is slacking.”

  That got a laugh out of her as she stood back up, slinging her damp locks of hair behind her shoulder.

  Genesis might be my best friend, but she was a female, and I wasn’t fucking blind. I’d never been with her. I was just smart. Protected our friendship by ignoring her appearance. Bowie had been the one to fuck it up. He’d been the one to make her something more.

  My gaze traveled over her narrow waist and the small flash of flat, tanned stomach as her pink plaid pajama pants hung on her hips. Briefly allowing my eyes to move up, I only let myself quickly appreciate the outline of her perky, round tits in the pink tank top she was wearing as she walked over to grab a lighter from the mantel.

  Holding it up, she smiled at me. “Since your birthday was in the lair of the Lords of the Underworld and I missed your birthday cake, I thought we’d have some cupcakes here. Don’t worry. I didn’t make them. I bought them from the cute little bakery downtown.”

  That made me chuckle. As if I would ever think that the perfectly iced cupcakes had been made by her. Not in this lifetime.

  Genesis leaned forward, giving me a view right down the neckline of her tank top, and I jerked my gaze off her tits before I saw nipples. Getting hard over your best friend’s tits wasn’t cool. Although I’d always wondered about her nipples. What they looked like. I couldn’t help it. I had a thing for tits, and Genesis had some great ones.

  I heard the lighter flick, and I waited until I could see her standing back up out of the corner of my eye before turning my gaze back to her.