Bliss York had been my first love. Or so I’d thought back then. Come to find out she’d been my first lust, because I had no idea how to love. Her face could stop traffic and that was without any makeup. She was as natural as I remembered. Nothing fake about her. Her smile had once made everything perfect in my world.

  “Oh, I’m sorry . . .” she said, trailing off as her eyes scanned my face. I saw the realization there. She remembered me. Knew who I was. The boy who had given her that first kiss. Told her he would love her forever. Then I left after a summer of what I thought was the beginning of forever. I’d been a bit of a dreamer back then. It was before I realized that women weren’t as soft and pretty on the inside as they were on the outside. My mother was perfect, inside and out, but my little sister Ophelia had a definite evil streak.

  “You work here?” I asked before she could say my name. I didn’t want to remember that summer. I had remembered it for far too long. Once I finally got it through my head that Bliss York wasn’t the perfect girl, I’d let myself forget her entirely.

  She opened her mouth to speak, then slowly nodded her head.

  I knew that Octavia had hired someone to help her get things ready. I just hadn’t been told her name. Not that it mattered. That was seven summer’s back and a part of my past that would stay there.

  I picked up a fallen box. “I’m Octavia’s fiancé Nate.” That should answer her questions and also lead her to believe I didn’t remember. “I’ll get these boxes to the recycle bin.”

  I didn’t wait for her to give me her name. I went to work picking up the rest of the fallen boxes. She didn’t move for what felt like several minutes, but was just a few fleeting seconds. I was tense. Not sure why. If she told me who she was and asked if I remembered, I could still act as if I’d forgotten. Seven fucking years had passed. We’d been kids then. We weren’t now. I was a different person and I was sure she was too.

  “Okay, um . . . thank you,” she said. I wanted to look up and watch her go. To take in the woman she’d become. To see just how much her body had changed. The glimpse I’d allowed myself at first had been impressive and I wanted another. She had been a beauty back then. Now she was gorgeous and I had to fucking work with this beauty for the next two weeks.

  Shit.

  This would only happen to me.

  I turned to walk off with the boxes when the door opened back up.

  “I’m sorry. I forgot to tell you where the recycle bin is located.” She sounded formal, nervous and unsteady. I could ease her worry by just being honest and clearing the air right now. But that meant I had to remember her. The girl I’d purposely forgotten. I’d told her I loved her and she had been the only girl I’d ever said that to. You live and learn in life and I’d lived and learned with Bliss York.

  I have to stop musing on this shit.

  “It’s just behind the building there,” she pointed.

  I nodded. “Got it.” Then I walked off. I didn’t make eye contact. I didn’t even thank her.

  “Do you need help?” she called out.

  “Nope.” I was being an ass. That was the only way to handle this. My momma would be ashamed.

  Bliss York

  NATE FINLAY. HOW did this happen to me? Not that it was going to be an issue because he didn’t even remember who I was. Which stung. Bad.

  Thoughts of him were what got me through some of the hardest times of my life. When I was sick after chemo I would focus on our summer and the times we had together. Thinking about that helped me forget the hell I was living through.

  And still, he didn’t remember me. Had no idea who I was.

  Well, I was healthy now. Stronger. I no longer needed his memory to get through the day. I guess if I had to be slapped in the face with a grown, ridiculously good-looking Nate Finlay who had no idea who I was, then this was a good time. I could handle it.

  I slowly turned from the window of Octavia’s store where I had watched him walk away with the boxes. Nate Finlay was engaged to Octavia, who had given me my very first job. I liked her without really even knowing her. My first impression was that she was nice. I was looking forward to working with her. More like for Octavia, since she owned the store. Maybe a little less now that Nate was in the picture. But it was good. I was here and on my own.

  No one would remember Nate but Eli. I’d told him about Nate that summer. He had listened to me talk, although I knew he didn’t care, not the way a female would. I just didn’t have a lot of those. Not like Eli. I was closer to him than anyone else on earth. Larissa knew some about him simply because she’d been the reason I had been at the beach that summer. Then the few friends I had that would have seen me with him wouldn’t remember from that long ago. At least I hoped not.

  Tonight, Eli would help me finish moving my things into the apartment we now shared. I could tell him. I had to tell someone. Maybe talking about it would help me close the door on my past with Nate that summer. Then again, it might make it worse.

  My phone vibrated in my pocket. Eli had sent me a text. I swear we were on the same wavelength. It was like he knew I had a problem without me telling him I had a problem.

  “You good?” was all he sent.

  “Yep.” I replied. Simply stalling. No reason to get into this now. We had a bottle of wine and a lot of work tonight and that would be the time for discussion. I’d tell him about it then. At least we would have something to talk about while we were moving my things in.

  The door opened and I knew it was Nate. I didn’t turn to look. I continued lifting the clothing from the box I’d positioned in front of me. I needed to finish today’s inventory before other shipments arrived.

  “Anymore trash?” he asked.

  I put a smile on my face before straightening to look Nate in the eyes. “That’s all. I’ll have more later.”

  He nodded without eye contact. Again, it made no sense. He’d done the very same thing outside. Was there something on my face or in my nose? I’d eaten a protein bar for breakfast. Maybe nuts had gotten in my teeth?

  I quickly went back to unpacking.

  “Octavia left me with a list of things she needs done. I’ll go back to the office to begin.” He said it like a question but he ended it like a statement. I nodded. Didn’t say anything. What was the point in responding?

  When I was sure he was out of the front of the store I stood up and sighed with relief. That was awkwardly painful and he didn’t even know it. The summer we had been together he was attentive, very different. Not like the man he had become. This guy I didn’t know at all. I guess we all change with age and time. I had just hoped that the memory I had of Nate would remain untouched. But reality was ruining it.

  The next two hours flew by. Nate stayed in the back working on the list Octavia left for him. I finished organizing like she had instructed when Octavia called this morning. More things would be arriving this afternoon. I needed to be ready to receive them.

  While I looked for something else to do the door opened which spun me around. I began to say “we’re not open yet,” but I stopped when I saw it was Eli. He had two brown bags and a smile.

  “I brought food,” he said. “Lots of it.” I knew without asking that he had my favorite burger from The Pickle Shack in the bag.

  “You’re my hero, Eli. I’m starving.” I wouldn’t stop working as long as Nate was here. Not to leave and go get food. I wasn’t sure if he’d be reporting to Octavia. If he was, good things needed to be said, because this job was important to me.

  “I took a wild guess and didn’t think you’d leave work to get food on your official first day.”

  “That’s why you’re my favorite person on earth.” I loved The Pickle Shack.

  Eli walked over to the empty counter and put the bags down gently. “This whole place looks breakable.”

  “Eli, paper bags won’t hurt it.”

  “Good because it’s time to celebrate with some greasy ass burgers. You have a job and you are officially independent as of tonight.”

  He wasn’t a big fan of the greasy burger. I knew Eli wouldn’t eat one. He’d have their grilled chicken sandwich. Eli was a fanatical health nut. He ran six to ten miles a day and ate “clean” as he called it, which did amazing things for his body. There was always some beautiful woman on his arm or attempting to lock onto his arm. I tended to get in the way sometimes and I hated that for Eli. We’d fought about this more than anything else because he enjoyed using me as an excuse. A means to free himself from women. Or I suppose I saw it that way. I didn’t want to be a crutch that prevented my friend from falling in love in the future. For some reason, he was scared of that. The idea terrified him.

  He had parents like mine, happily married, and he’d grown up in a stable environment. There wasn’t any reason for him to be damaged or be fearful of a real commitment. But he was. To an extreme.

  “I know you aren’t eating a burger.”

  He’d placed mine directly in front of me.

  He raised his eyebrows. “Hell yeah I am! We’re celebrating.”

  “You hate greasy food.”

  “You love it, so we,” he then motioned with his hand, sweeping it back and forth, “are eating to quicken our deaths, by clogging and sealing our arteries.”

  I loved Eli. I wasn’t in love with Eli. I loved him the way I loved my brothers. Once I thought I could love him another way, but we were young. Nate Finlay had walked into my life. After that my sickness and fighting to live, changed everything for me. During that time Eli had cemented himself under the title of “world’s best friend.” He’d seen me at death’s door. Been there when I fought back. Eli was with me through it all.

  Nate Finlay

  SHE WAS IN there with a guy. I stood outside the storage door listening to them laughing and talking. I should have figured she’d be in a relationship. A girl like that doesn’t stay single. The fact it annoyed me was stupid. But damn, it bothered me. She had remained in my memory as mine. Even though time had passed and we had grown up. She didn’t seem to have changed much either. Other than the fact the girl I thought to be beautiful was now undeniably breathtaking.

  We’d spent a fucking summer together seven long years ago. Bliss was no longer that innocent girl I’d given her first kiss to. Not anymore. She was a grown ass woman. Preserved in my memory was a girl. Though that was definitely a woman in there.

  Maybe that was what was so aggravating. I liked having her in my memory as that perfect girl to unveil and remember as unblemished. I wouldn’t have that to cherish anymore. She’d be in my world from day to day and I would see her imperfections. The young girl was gone and so was her sweet innocence. Life did that to everyone.

  I’d kept myself from walking in there to remind her that her lunch was only an hour. That would make me look like a bastard. I had no reason to be. She had worked nonstop since I had arrived and she was due a fucking break.

  “Did you get the rest of your things packed up? Are they ready to move this evening?” The guy asked with a casual familiarity that bothered the hell out of me. What the fuck was wrong with me?

  “Yep. Momma cried while I was doing it. Just about killed me to hear it. I’ve heard her cry too much. It was the hardest part. She wasn’t sobbing, just tearing up. I let her hug me and tell me she loved me. That she wanted this for me. She was working through her emotions. She trusts you to take care of me. As if I needed any protection.”

  Bliss sounded somewhere between annoyed and amused.

  “She’s going to worry, B. You know that. Can’t expect her not to.”

  Bliss sighed. “Yeah. I get it. I just wish we could move on from it. You know? Forget it. Try being normal.”

  They were quiet for a moment while I tried to figure out what the hell that meant, trying “normal?” Why couldn’t Bliss try normal? From what I remembered she was very normal.

  “It’s only been four years,” the guy responded. “She’s gonna need more time than that. That’s like a day to a mother, B. To her you’re still an infant. In many ways you’ve just been born.”

  Again, Bliss sighed. “I know.”

  Four years since what? What happened? I felt guilty for eavesdropping, but now I was curious. I wondered if Octavia knew what they were talking about. Not that I would ask her. It wasn’t my business. I shouldn’t have listened in.

  I bumped into a broom backing away from the door. It hit a dustpan and both went to the floor with a crash. I winced and froze.

  “What was that?” Eli asked.

  “Octavia’s fiancé,” she replied. “Guess he must’ve dropped something.”

  She didn’t call me by name or tell him anymore. Instead she started in on painting. The color her new bedroom would be in the apartment the two were sharing. She had a different bedroom than his? It made me question who he was. Were they intimate? Why the hell was I fixated on this?

  I started to walk away and stop being nosey when she said his name out loud. Bliss said “Eli” and I knew who he was. She’d told me about “Eli” seven years ago. He wasn’t her boyfriend. He was her closest friend. I had been jealous until she explained it. They were much closer than any relationship I’d ever had with a girl in my life. Even Lila Kate. I soon learned that they were exactly what she said and Bliss York hadn’t been lying.

  Just friends.

  And they still were.

  I left them to their conversation and went out the back door to my truck. I needed something to eat. An escape. To get the hell away from Bliss. I’d think it through then put it behind me.

  I pressed Octavia’s number on my phone. Talking to her would remind me of the life I now lived. And why it fit me. Why Octavia fit me perfectly. And why Bliss York never would. That’s what I was telling myself. I didn’t know the woman Bliss York had become. I didn’t know anything about her at all.

  “Hey, make it fast,” she said. “I’m getting off the plane in Milan. The buyer that took me to Rome convinced me I had to come here. Don’t have much time to talk.”

  Octavia, she was all business. Straight and to the point. She wasn’t dramatic or needy. That was what every man needed. I’d seen enough drama from my sisters and even my mother at times. My dad had the patience of a saint. As for me, I didn’t. Drama and women were more than I could handle. Octavia didn’t inspire drama. She was too busy making her life appear perfect. I fit into her role and she fit into mine. It worked.

  Bliss York

  MOST GUYS WHO had their own place would live in filth. Not that I’d ever seen another guy’s apartment. But I did have three brothers and knew what their bedrooms looked like. When momma had enough she would threaten them, often within an inch of their lives, then they quickly put their rooms in order.

  Eli wasn’t like that. He was clean, tidy and neat. He had a place for everything. I was a little worried that I wouldn’t be able to keep things as clean as he wanted them. I wasn’t as tidy as he was. I never mentioned it because Eli would lie and tell me it’s okay, that my comfort was most important. Which we would both know was not true. Even a small mess would drive him nuts.

  I watched him put the last box in my new bedroom. The smile on his face matched mine. It had taken longer than we’d both planned but we were here now getting started. Living on our own like we’d always planned. Eli moved out when he began college and got a job to support himself. I often wondered when I could join him. When our brothers and sisters were driving us nuts we’d planned this very thing. Being roommates and living on our own.

  I had just beaten cancer when he left. It was too soon for me. I knew I couldn’t leave my parents. Not yet, they were too raw, from everything we’d been through as a family. I stayed at home with them for four long years.

  This was my late start. The beginning of living on my own. I couldn’t wait to dig in and do this.

  “I’ve got a bottle of Pinot Gris in the fridge. You want a glass? I think we should celebrate.”

  I loved Pinot Gris. He knew that. Just like he knew everything about me. “Yes! That would be perfect.”

  He looked around my room. “When I rented this place I had you in mind. This has always been your room.”

  That made my eyes sting with tears. Eli wasn’t one to hide his emotions. He was honest and direct about them. I loved that. But then I loved Eli. I have since we were kids. I just wasn’t in love with him. There was a difference and I recognized it, at a younger age than most. Over the years I’ve often wondered if he understood that difference. There were moments when he looked at me with something more than friendly adoration. I’d convince myself I made it up. At least I hoped I made it up. Wanting MORE would ruin everything.

  A knock on the door saved me from having to appropriately respond. Whatever that may be. I still wasn’t sure how to reply to something so heartfelt. I wasn’t as sensitive as Eli. What I’d been through had hardened me.

  Eli turned and headed for the door. I scanned my new room one more time before I followed. Glancing over his shoulder at me he smirked. “I’d apologize about this, but I think they’re being here has more to do with you than me.”

  “Who?”

  He shook his head as he opened the door.

  Micah Falco walked in carrying a six-pack followed by Damon Victor, Micah’s best friend and Jude Falco, who was Micah’s younger brother. Micah was twenty-five. He had a master’s degree in computer science, yet he looked like a thug. Micah drank like a fish, cursed like a sailor, and was the most entertaining guy I knew, the exception being his dad, who was technically his uncle. Long story.

  “Move a girl in and don’t invite the fucking team. Hardy, you suck,” Micah said, placing the beer on the bar. “By the way, this is mine, I’m not sharing. I assumed it was BYOB.”