That would break me into pieces. I wasn’t willing to be broken or made that vulnerable, which was selfish and all about my safety, the most fucking selfish thought I’d ever had and I was pretty damn sure I’d had plenty. But it was true and I accepted my truths. I didn’t pretend to be noble. At least not anymore . . .

  Seven years ago . . .

  I was early. Bliss told me to meet her at our spot on the beach around ten this morning. It was nine thirty. I didn’t want her to get here before me. Not after yesterday. She’d let me kiss her and it was hands down the best kiss I’d ever had. Not that I’d had that many. And I wasn’t counting Lila Kate. Neither one of us had kissed anyone before three years ago when we decided to practice on one other. It grossed us both out. Like kissing a sibling. Didn’t happen again.

  Kissing Bliss had been amazing. She smelled like the coconut in her tanning oil along with something else. It was unique to her and I couldn’t get enough of it. When I leaned in to kiss her last night I was afraid she’d push me away. She hadn’t. She’d slipped her hands up my arms and linked her fingers behind my neck. It’d been hard to let go after that.

  So this morning I’m waiting on her. Making sure she knew that the kiss meant a lot, that she was special and that I loved her. I hadn’t really thought love was possible until you were older and experienced. I realized I was wrong. My heart was so damn tight when I looked at her that it ached when she walked away. I wasn’t sure there was any definitive thing that could explain what love was. To me this was my definition.

  “You’re Nate Finlay aren’t you?” I turned to see a girl whose body advertised that she was at least eighteen. Her boobs were about to spill from her bikini. They were the biggest I’d seen close up. Her long blonde hair was thrown over her shoulder and the tanned skin she so generously exposed was shiny with oil and early sweat. If I hadn’t grown up on a beach then this might be exciting. But I was a Finlay and in my world I had this in my face quite often, especially at the country club.

  I wasn’t sure how the girl knew my name. I shrugged my shoulders and glanced back down the beach looking for Bliss with urgency. “Yeah, but I don’t know you.”

  She giggled and I cringed. I didn’t like the gigglers. They annoyed the shit out of me. Bliss didn’t do the flirty giggle thing. Two years back that was the primary reason Bliss became attractive to me. Of course, after raw beauty.

  “My grandparents are members of The Kerrington Club. I normally spend a month each summer in Rosemary Beach with them. I’ve seen you there.”

  The two beaches were only two and a half hours apart. But seriously, the place had to follow me here? Jesus.

  “Well now,” I replied. “Now you see me here.” I tried my hardest to sound like an asshole so she’d leave before Bliss got here. I didn’t need her walking up to me while talking to Miss Big Tits, especially after last night’s kiss.

  She did the giggle again. “Yes, I do. Want to sit with my friends and I? I saw you yesterday with the young girl and pointed you out to them. They’re fascinated that your grandfather is Dean Finlay.”

  My dad’s dad is the famous drummer for Slacker Demon. They’re the iconic rock band that was now retired for the most part. They’d become grandfathers and the new generation wasn’t to their liking. When asked they came together for fundraisers, but that was the extent of their performances. Still though, there were the worshippers. They had a lifetime of fame that spanned three generations of fans that would never forget them.

  “Most people are,” I replied. And just as I said those words Bliss’s dark hair came into view. She was walking this way somewhat casually. The simple white lace cover-up she wore over her hot pink bikini didn’t show nearly as much body, compared to this other girl. Bliss looked classy and sure of herself. She had the brain to go with everything else. “Excuse me, my girl is here,” I said without looking back. I then headed to meet Bliss in my eagerness. Had I been another guy, one who wasn’t in love with Bliss York then I’d gone the other route. She would’ve been my first and I would’ve enjoyed every moment of losing my virginity. I knew that, but no, not now, she wasn’t what I was looking for.

  Bliss York

  LUNCH WITH NATE and Octavia. Great. Just what I wanted to do. Never.

  Sitting across from them at some fancy lunch place that I didn’t even know was in Sea Breeze I tried to keep a polite smile and I didn’t make eye contact with Nate. Which was difficult when I could feel his steady gaze on me. Watching me. Trying to read something into my expressions. I was easy to read. I hated that. Knowing he could see how uncomfortable I was.

  “I like the way you incorporated the scarf into the summer pieces I’ve chosen. It works and it’s exactly what I had in mind. You have an eye for this thing. We just need to get you into the clothing. Your wardrobe doesn’t fit with the look of the place. But with your body advertising the inventory then we will sell more.”

  In other words, my clothes were too cheap. My momma had always bought me designer clothing. I had never been accused of not being stylish. However, compared to Octavia I might as well be wearing clothes from a thrift store. She had another level of acceptable. I had seen the price tags on the items she bought for the store. I imagined her closet was full of similar items.

  “I’m open to whatever you need me to do,” I assured her. I was thankful I had this job. It gave me my independence and I was finally able to live like an adult. Not a kid.

  She flashed a very white glamorous smile my way and I wondered how much that smile had cost. There was no way those teeth were real. They were too white, too straight, too perfect. My braces hadn’t even given me those straight lines.

  “Now that the summer line is in and I’ve chosen everything, I’ll give it a couple weeks then begin buying for the fall. It’s still warm here then so I’ll keep that in mind.” I wasn’t sure who she was talking to, me, Nate or herself. But she continued to rattle on about profit and design and expanding. She hadn’t even been officially open yet and she was talking about opening five other stores within the US. I wouldn’t be surprised if she started planning her stores in other countries before the salads got to the table.

  “The tourist arrive here the first week in June?” Octavia asked as she looked at me.

  “Yes sometimes sooner. We start to see more traffic the last week in May. Depends on when schools let out in the surrounding states.”

  She nodded and the waiter arrived with our salads. I took a peek at Nate and he was frowning at his salad in disgust. I assumed he was used to places like this. I knew his lifestyle outside of Sea Breeze was very different.

  “A shrimp poboy would have been a helluva lot better than this,” he grumbled.

  Octavia rolled her eyes with an amused smile. “You’d have those shrimp poboys at or wedding reception if I let you. What is a poboy anyway? Why call them that? It’s so degrading. Why not just call them a hoagie. It’s what they are.”

  A hoagie? What was a hoagie?

  “Jesus,” he muttered but that was the only response he was giving her.

  “I see you two have worked well together,” Octavia said as she went to take a bite of her salad.

  I froze. What did she mean? I hadn’t been looking at Nate or even saying anything about him. I’d been very careful. Had his staring at me gave it away? Dangit Nate! I needed this job.

  “She’s a hard worker. You hired well,” Nate said then took one of the long toasted pieces of bread that came with our salads and shoved it in his mouth.

  Octavia cocked an eyebrow at him as if she wasn’t thrilled with the way he was eating then turned to me. “Agreed. I can tell you’re going to be easy to work with. I like you and I don’t like people easily. You’ve got that something about you that people are drawn to and that will only help the store. I need the store to flourish so daddy will let me continue with more Octavia’s.”

  A part of me felt admiration for her. A very, very small part. She wanted to do something with her life. Make a mark. Be more than a socialite and I admired that. You had to. I saw so many like her on the news and media that were just living off their parents wealth. Sure, Octavia was also living off her father’s fortune but she was trying to make a fortune herself. He was just her stepping stool. . . . Or her very high ladder. Or her private jet. It wouldn’t be too hard to make a success with the money she had to play with. But still. She was trying. That counted for something.

  I wasn’t much better. I’d lived with my parents well past the age I should have. I had let them feed me and put a roof over my head. And buy me a car, and buy my clothing . . . it was all on a much smaller scale but in comparison it was the same.

  “Nate won’t be here much and I will need to travel once we get things going. So, it will be on you to handle everything soon. I believe you can do that. We will look into hiring two other employees to work under you before I leave for Spain at the end of the month. Nate will more than likely be back in Rosemary Beach or in Beverly Hills by then. But I feel confident I can trust you.”

  Why would Nate be in Beverly Hills? He hated it there. Other than visiting his other grandfather he tried to go there as little as possible. I glanced at him and he was watching me again. I only met his eyes briefly before dropping them back to my salad.

  “Thank you,” I told Octavia. “I’ll do my best.”

  “Great.”

  After we returned to the store I made myself busy in the front. Although my thoughts stayed on how odd Octavia and Nate were with each other. There was no connection of any kind. They seemed annoyed by the other. Did he realize that?

  Just as I began to wonder if I should say something to him before he made a mistake and married her I heard laughter. I paused and listened. It was both of them. Their voices mingled as they laughed. Setting down the dress in my hand I walked quietly over to the door. It was wrong to eavesdrop but I did it anyway. They were laughing and that seemed so out of place after watching them together.

  “I love your stories,” Octavia said with a hint of amusement still in her voice.

  “It’s a gift,” he replied.

  “Hmmm, one of the many reasons I love you,” was her response then the distinct sound of kissing followed. It wasn’t loud. It was just the sound of bodies pressed close. Breathing erratic and choppy, and silence when there had been talking.

  I stepped back. Eavesdropping was never a good thing and those who did it deserved to be punished. This was my punishment.

  Nate Finlay

  I MADE EXCUSES to stay away from Octavia’s for three days. The more distance I could put between Bliss and I the better things would be for all three of us. Octavia was back and that was enough to remind me what I needed in a life. What fit me and was safe, because being near Bliss was not safe. Just being in a room with Bliss wasn’t safe. She tempted me with a life I didn’t want.

  Each evening I listened to Octavia talk about Bliss’s ideas for the store. I took her out to dinner to the places she chose and was supportive without intervening. I did the things I normally did. However, when she asked to go listen to a band on Friday night at Live Bay I paused. That was a bad idea. More than likely Bliss would be there. Dating Octavia with Bliss watching wasn’t okay with me. If the situation were reversed it wouldn’t be easy for me to watch her with another guy. I didn’t think it was fair to Bliss. Even if she’d moved on and was over what we had or what we thought we had in the past, rubbing the other’s face in that history seemed cruel.

  I tried talking Octavia into going somewhere else. She was dead set on Live Bay and checking out the local scene. Octavia said she needed some “down time,” like there was any real stress heaped upon her. Mixing with the “regular people” here would help her “release the tension that comes with being a success.”

  There was a chance Bliss had other plans. That’s what I held onto until Octavia shot that to hell. We were entering Live Bay when Octavia stopped. She scanned the crowd like a Secret Service agent: “Bliss said her table was to the left near the bar and that she’s saving us a spot.”

  This was one small piece of information that Octavia failed to mention. She must have not considered it important. I gazed at Bliss’s table and there she was, sitting in some guy’s lap, laughing with a drink in her hand. That was nothing like Bliss and he was older than me. What the fuck? Why was I here?

  “There she is,” Octavia announced. She then slipped her arm through mine. Drug me towards the pair like a child.

  I then tried to think of a logical excuse to get me the hell out of there. Trusting myself not to do something stupid wasn’t easy with Bliss flirtingly drunk and lap wiggling on older guys. Where was fucking Eli? Jesus!

  “Y’all came!” Bliss beamed and jumped up. “I hoped you would but I wasn’t positive. Here, take those seats.”

  She didn’t sound drunk, but was too damn happy about this unfolding before her. “Everyone, this is my boss Octavia and her fiancé Nate Finlay!” She then looked back at us. “That’s Jimmy,” she pointed to the guy whose lap she’d been perched on wiggling and laughing. I glared at Jimmy who returned a smug smile then drank from his whiskey glass. “That’s Micah, Daisy May, James and Crimson” Bliss said, going in a circle, like we were at a book study group. Oddly, none of them appeared to be couples, which was weird and wasn’t lost on me.

  “I’m just here to take care of Saffron whenever she appears,” said the girl Crimson, with an annoyed look and a huff.

  Bliss added “Saffron is a bit of a handful. What do y’all want to drink?”

  “Grey Goose martini,” Octavia replied.

  “Maker’s Mark is fine,” I told her.

  She waved her hand towards the bartender. “Larissa, we need a Grey Goose martini and a Maker’s Mark, please.”

  The red head shot her thumbs up and went to work. I knew she looked familiar the last time I was in here. Hearing Bliss say her name I remembered why that was. Larissa was the girl who brought Bliss to the beach that summer long ago. Glancing around at the others, I wondered if I’d met them before.

  As if he could read my mind Micah pointed his beer at me: “Nate Finlay? Damn, you look familiar!”

  We’d met once, I remembered his face as well, but he didn’t need to figure that out right here in front of Octavia. We’d have a shit ton of explaining to do. Octavia knew nothing at all. The less she knew the better, as far as I was concerned.

  “His grandfather is famous,” Octavia replied. “When he was younger Nate’s father was in the media a lot. They look like twins I swear. It’s freaky to see them together.”

  Micah started to shake his head no. Bliss walked over, grabbed his hand, and blurted out “Micah, you promised me a dance. Let’s dance now . . . right now.”

  Micah looked confused, but he didn’t turn her down. I doubt any man would. He stood and stretched like he’d be jumping hurdles: “I like it when you’re bossy and shit. Do it more. Make me mind.”

  He was grinning like it was a joke. It really pissed me off. Bliss, however, laughed and tugged his arm, so he followed her willingly to the dance floor.

  “Drinks are ready,” Jimmy said, nodding his head toward the bar. I needed an escape so I took it. “I’ll get them,” I replied, before bolting the scene, getting away from the pack and keeping my eyes off Bliss, especially while she danced. That seemed an important task. Not to watch her body move.

  When I got to the bar the gorgeous red head stopped mixing and looked directly at my face. “They don’t remember Nate, but I do.”

  Shit. What do I say to that? She sat down her shaker, walked over to me, until she was as close as she could get. Still, she leaned aggressively forward, only the bar separating us. “She’s been through a hell we can’t imagine. You hurt her and those guys over there will rearrange that pretty face. We don’t care who your daddy is. Got it? Are we clear?”

  I was being threatened. Interesting. That didn’t happen to me. This was a first. I felt very normal. I said what came naturally.

  “I’m engaged.”

  Larissa didn’t look convinced. “Don’t hurt her,” she repeated, before walking back over, to continue working her shaker.

  “She works for my fiancé. I didn’t come looking for her. That was seven years ago.”

  Larissa paused, her icy green eyes, lifting to meet mine in space. “Your reasons and excuses mean nothing. That girl is special. We all love her. We’ll protect her at any and all cost. She didn’t have a normal teenage life, those years robbed by that damn disease. You were the last real memory she had before it all went to shit. She’s strong in many ways but her heart is innocent, fragile and please don’t forget that.”

  “I realize that, but I’m not going to date her, it isn’t like I can hurt her.”

  Larissa rolled her eyes and muttered a curse. “You’re the only one who can dumbass. Didn’t you hear what I said?”

  I started to say more when Larissa’s eyes lifted to someone behind me. I turned to see Bliss dancing closely against Micha. They were looking in each other’s eyes talking. “She looks like she has her eyes on someone else.”

  Larissa laughed. “Micah? Not in this lifetime.”

  That answered my question about them. The relief that came from her words was the only warning I needed. She was right. If I didn’t control my fucking emotions Bliss could get hurt and it would be on me. As much as I was tempted and drawn to her, Bliss York wasn’t in my future, though she was firmly set in my past.

  Bliss York

  “WHO IS HE Bliss?” Micah asked the moment we started dancing. He was staring at Nate over my shoulder. Trying to figure out how he knew him.

  “He’s from my past. But his fiancé doesn’t know and she’s my boss. It’s best the past stay passed. Please don’t say anything. I don’t want any further discussion.”