I did not share his triumph.

  I should have been at school, in weapons training or listening to a lecture on physics. No, that wasn’t right. A stranger was supposed to ruin me so I might wander at will into the fog.

  Now I knew better.

  Having experienced the complicated, horrific process of sex, I’m not sure I would have survived that kind of pain with some unknown male. Dying of shame from some random penetration as I screamed for mercy in a dark alley….

  Intercourse was not a few quick thrusts and bursts of fluids like I had seen in the human pornography. Cyderial opening, knotting, and breeding me had taken hours.

  For two days, I’d slumbered in the aftermath.

  Where would I have sheltered lost in the city?

  Would I have been left lying in the street?

  No wonder Sylvia had acted so tired and sore the night I ran to warn her to lighten her hair all those years ago. She had just suffered; she’d needed the heavy sleep I had pulled her from it to drag her to the sink.

  There would have been no hiding her escapades.

  Which is why she never returned once the general had summoned her to his office.

  I didn’t even know if she was alive.

  Yet I felt very alive. As if my eyes had finally opened to what I was bred to be.

  And I didn't understand myself at all.

  Recovering in Cyderial’s arms, the fabric over my nipples wet and clinging, my skirt high enough that modesty was lost, I retreated into shy embarrassment.

  And hid my face.

  A warm hand stroked my hair. “Look at me.”

  I could not possibly meet Cyderial’s eyes, not after how I had behaved.

  He tried to cup my face, to guide my attention where he willed it, but I was in no mood to acquiesce. Jerking my chin from the soft touch that thought to urge my eyes higher, I looked anywhere but at him.

  Patient nonetheless, he murmured, “You are beautiful, my sweet mate. Your behavior was perfectly natural, and it was my honor to tend to you.”

  Cheeks flushing a deep-red, it was that very moment my body chose to leak more slippery fluid from between my spread thighs. A warm, wet rush he could not have missed.

  The chair, the floor, his trousers, all of it was saturated in me.

  I could not have been more humiliated.

  Yet he was unconcerned about the mess.

  Quiet moments passed as he stroked my hair and seemingly ignored each time more slick warmed his lap.

  With deep compassion, he said, “You’re confused right now. I understand. How could you feel so good with someone you hate so much?”

  I did hate him. Thoughts of his mouth on my body and how much I had relished the rough texture of his tongue would haunt me.

  Suspicion eating up my shame, I confessed what he no doubt already knew. “I’m still hot. It wasn’t enough.”

  He kissed away the tears on my cheeks. “No, but I have bought you a few hours to rest and consider.”

  If all he’d claimed was true about heat and mates, I would very soon indeed be screaming for him to hurt me the way he had hurt me in his office.

  I wasn’t even sure if I could make it a few hours.

  Grief tightened my chest, clenching around my hearts until I found myself trembling. No soldier with my training should have ever been so weak, nor should they have allowed their tormentor to rock them like a baby while they wept.

  A little cake waited inside the pink box from my mother. Her gift was beautifully decorated with white frosting and tiny golden details.

  Proud to show me her fine cake, Cyderial said, “It’s a human tradition. A wedding cake for the bride and groom.”

  A precious gift from a well-meaning woman who could not have known how deeply I regretted my mating.

  When I gave no response, he added, “I’ll take you to visit her when you’re feeling better.”

  They were the only words that would have garnered a reaction. Pulling out of my melancholy, I finally met his eyes.

  To see if he spoke the truth. To measure this man who never lied but misled with proficiency.

  I very much wanted my mother in that moment.

  There was no hiding my longing, my expression silently begging that this was not a trick.

  Like his kiss.

  As if to prove his good intentions, Cyderial pulled out a chair so I might sit at his table. “Please, sit.”

  Quiet, I obeyed, my attention moving to the pretty cake Cyderial presented with a flourish. And for the first time in my life, I found I had no appetite for sweets.

  It was something else I craved. Something I would not consider.

  The general cut me a slice.

  Though the exterior was pure white, the inside was a riot of fun colors. A rainbow whirl of cheerful brightness that was unexpected and impossible not to smile at. My birth mother had made this for me.

  She loved me.

  Reaching out to gently test how soft the exciting color might be, I found the cake delicate yet resilient. Like her.

  A smile replaced my frown as I poked the treat again. “I would like to see my mother.”

  Something about the shift in my demeanor brought Cyderial to purr. “It would be my pleasure. We could visit Mrs. Hyun and, afterward, tour the city. If you’re interested, I can make reservations for dinner someplace special.”

  “At a restaurant?” Like the ones I saw by the reservoir, where couples ate together and conversed under glittering lights?

  A social gathering location and relaxing experience after a day’s work.

  But I would not go. I already gathered my long hair to drape it over my shoulders, to hide my breasts from his sight. Yet such a trick would not be enough. Not in public.

  “Will you provide me with appropriate clothing?” It was a fair question. Beyond the fact that the silky fabric draping my skin was obscene, it was also soiled. I’d be mortified if my mother saw me in such a state.

  Green eyes glittering, he smirked, “That gown is only for my private view, and I would be unhappy if anyone else ever saw you dressed this way.”

  Easy access in an indecent dress—his confirmation of my suspicion only annoyed me.

  Chuckling, he winked. “Please do not blame me for enjoying your body draped in silk. You are the most beautiful creature I have ever seen. And before you get too angry, that particular fabric is supposed to help cool the sensitive skin of a female in heat. There were some altruistic motives behind my choice for you.”

  That he could be so easy when I was so anxious gave him an advantage I envied. “I want regular clothing now.”

  He may have nodded in agreement, yet still he warned, “Cake first, then I will show you what I have collected for your use. You can wear whatever you wish. But take heed, any other fabric might not feel comfortable against your skin until I have satiated your needs.”

  Hot, yet much cooler than before his kiss, I was willing to take my chances.

  He set a slice before me and urged me to eat. Fork in hand, I took a bite of perfect cake.

  It really was delicious, not that I had a basis for comparison, but the flavor felt floral and soft. Something to be savored and not rushed for the sake of decent clothing.

  Enjoying his own taste, the general offered a compliment to the baker. “Your birth mother is very talented. Many humans accept the payout for selling their offspring to the academy and waste it on frivolous foolishness. She invested it into a business that is very popular in her quadrant of the city, from what I understand.”

  Clenching my fist around my fork, I snarled, “She didn’t sell me.”

  Sardonic flash in his eyes, Cyderial disagreed. “The contract humans commit to is very clear, the terms generous if the human can birth a healthy hybrid and keep it alive until the age of five. It is a bill of sale, cashed in when the exchange is made.”

  What a horrible way to view the woman who loved me. Angry, I ground my teeth. “That wasn’t what it was like. She was a good mother.”

  He took a bite of cake he did not deserve. “I don’t want to subtract from your memory of this human. But she birthed you with no intention of keeping you. Once her burden of seeing to your care was over, she built a human family from the profits gained by your sale.”

  We were eating a cake she made, and he was making my mother sound like a monster.

  Angry enough to bristle, to snap out a warning drum, I said, “She made this cake, because she cares about me.” Reaching for his slice, I snatched the plate right out from under him. “If you cannot respect that, you don’t get to eat it.”

  Unmoved by my temper, he dared look at me with compassion—as if I were some delusional child. “I wish to gently prepare you for what you will find outside the academy. You are not human, and the population will not treat you as one. Some will see you only as cannon fodder they are entitled to throw into danger to preserve their sense of safety. Others will covet your beauty. Many human men will see you only as a sexual object. There is some respect for our kind, but it often gets swallowed up in their sense of the exotic. Humans need us to survive; therefore, we are tolerated. You can’t trust them. Love them if you want, but remember that you were sold, trained, and expected to die for human benefit. Many will just want to know when you’re going to breed more hybrids so they don’t have to do it anymore.”

  This male was supposed to be my mate and had failed me so far on every score. “I am warning you to stop speaking!”

  My threats were nothing to a man of his stature. “I’d rather you be angry with me now than heartbroken later. It can be very shocking for academy students to leave the safety of their kind for the heart of a corrupt human city.”

  For crying out loud, why would he not shut up? Screeching, I rose to my feet. “I never wanted the city! I wanted the fog, and you stole that from me!”

  Cold-blooded, he smiled darkly. “Yes, I did. And I will steal it from you again every single day when you suffer with heat and realize you cannot leave me, no matter how much you may wish to. Hybrid’s mate for life. The fog cannot have you, Lorieyn.”

  I had never done anything so ridiculous in my life, but I lifted his plate with that beautiful half-eaten slice of cake and threw it down on the floor to shatter into bits. “You’ve always been horrible! Pretending to be some adoring mate, tricking me into letting you do things to my body that you knew I didn’t understand. How do I know you’re not misleading about the heat as well? You are a conniving, lying jerk who exerts power over me, because I would never come to you any other way!”

  “I know.” Not a speck of shame in his acknowledgment. Rising to tower over me, he narrowed his eyes. “And I do have complete control of you, my dear. Force me to wield it, and I will not hesitate.”

  I was going to rip out his throat. Snarling, baring my teeth, I stretched my fingers, ready to slice him to ribbons. “Going to hold me down again?”

  Face growing deadpan, Cyderial's voice grew melodic. “Some rest will do you good, so I am going to make you sleep before you accidentally cut your foot on broken glass.”

  Put me to bed like I was some child? The morning's fear had been bled out of me. I was furious and eager for my pound of flesh.

  But the room began to smell better than wedding cake, powerful sound moving through the air to soak into my skin. Every inch of me felt as if he wrapped me in the snuggliest blanket, beautiful oblivion flowing through my veins.

  Already woozy, the edges of my vision went fuzzy. “Stop that!”

  “No.” He approached, and I took a wobbly step back.

  It was unfair how easy it was for him to catch me, or how good it felt to be lifted into his arms and held against the vibrations emanating from his chest.

  I was taken from the dangerous glass, swept toward the huge bed where I had begun the difficult day. Laid gently upon cool sheets, Cyderial carefully arranged my body as I tried and failed to put up more than token resistance.

  High on his tricks as I was, it might not have been resistance at all. My fumbling hands clung to the monster, and no matter how I tried to puzzle them out, they only seemed to pull him nearer.

  Sitting at my side, he took those needy hands, holding them while I melted into softness.

  Addiction was not a strong enough word for this. No matter how I tried, I could not stop myself from sucking in deep breaths of his sweetness, of enjoying the ripple of music in the air.

  I could even admit, staring up at his striking features, I might have even thought him handsome had I not disliked him so deeply.

  Cyderial was very beautifully made.

  Tone having gentled, he looked down at me and smoothed my hair. “Don’t put yourself in danger, Lorieyn. I cannot control myself when you do.”

  The glass on the floor was about as dangerous as a fly. Having been run through with a sword multiple times during training, I could easily attest to that. It should have been easy to explain that to him, but my mind was fascinated with other things.

  Like how perfect his unblinking eyes looked in this light—acid-green, deadly, and unwavering.

  After a deep exhale, I murmured, “You smell really good.”

  “Do I?” He stroked my hand and smiled softly.

  “Mmm hmm.” So good I could eat him, sink my teeth right into his flesh.

  Leaning over me, he breathed over my parted lips. “Beloved, you’re very tired and want to go to sleep right now.”

  My eyes were so heavy, the idea of a nap extremely appealing.

  Already drowsing, I felt him kiss my forehead. “Be brave when you wake up.”

  19

  I was going to kill him!

  Violently, I went from dreaming to hypervigilance. Jackknifing upright, hissing with lethal intent, I scanned the darkness unsure how many hours I had been sedated.

  No one was in the large bed with me. I didn’t see him in his chair. Scrambling off the mattress, I moved through the dark, finding the sprawling bedroom empty.

  Where the hell had he gone?

  The troublesome glass had all been swept away, my cake and the remaining dishes missing from the little table.

  There was a note. All it said was: You are safe.

  I crushed it in my fist and dropped it to the floor.

  With no looming male to prevent my exit, I abandoned the bedroom and headed into the heart of his home.

  Too large for a single person, there were far more rooms than necessary. And even though I searched them all, he wasn’t hiding in any of them.

  Not the offices, spare sleeping quarters, cooking area, nor lounge. Not the training rooms or indoor gardens. When I dared open an outside door and walk into the cold night air, I did not find him on his expansive terrace. What I did find was an amazing view of our settlement twinkling below me in the night. Never had I seen the city from such a vantage. Hybrid trainees lived on the lower levels where the view was misty. My whole life, my horizon had been an undulating wall of gray.

  But in General Cyderial’s tower, there was nothing but endless universe above me.

  At my feet, our city sat like the eye of a storm in a sea of swirling fog battering against the filters in its never-ending bid to seep in. Angry mist blanketed the land as far as the eye could see, and from such a vantage, it was more beautiful than I could say.

  Yet nothing might ever compare to the stars smeared across the night sky, galaxies swirling, planets glowing bright.

  I never imagined it could be so vast. Never thought of it at all actually, not when my tiny dormitory window offered no such view.

  This magnificent spectacle of darkness and light was breathtaking.

  Sharp wind banked against skin that burned hot enough to steam, buffering my hair with an icy and soothing slap as it teased heat out of me.

  Never would I have seen such a thing had I gone straight into the fog. Never would I have known there was so much more beyond its swirling glory.

  Swallowing, thirsty and fevered, I stared in wonder and almost forgot about the missing male whose intentions toward me were flawed.

  Who had left me here alone after behaving atrociously. Who deceived, who craved, who claimed he was my slave, even as he locked me away and left me to molder in his den.

  I was the one bullied and tricked.

  I was the slave. The possession.

  One that had been put away like a tool no longer required. Eventually, he would come back, use me, and then… what? Make me sleep when he remembered his mate was troublesome and argumentative?

  I always had been when it came to him.

  Was he at the academy right now, stealing the dreams of more students? After all, his mate was conveniently tucked away and out of trouble.

  You are safe, his note said.

  Not from him.

  Trapped in his house. And I was indeed trapped, as I had tried the front door, only to find several complicated locks fully engaged.

  I was free to move about the dwelling and had done so blatantly, leaving reminders of my presence in each space. If I saw a vase, I moved it to a more appropriate location. Knickknacks were rearranged in any way I saw fit.

  A gilded cage for me to play in or go mad, thinking over how truly trapped I really was. And gilded it was. In a similar style to his office, all he possessed was beautiful, each room filled with exactly the kinds of things I would want to explore.

  Uncut gemstones, geodes, native fossils, living toxic flowers in pretty pots. The walls were all soft shades, the furniture feminine and inviting. Every window was polished, every surface free of dust.

  This level of cleanliness went beyond a standard cleaning robot’s protocol. The male had taken pleasure in maintaining his home to his militant standards.

  So he could lock me in it.

  Abandoning the terrace, I made my way inside, searching out a new distraction. Creeping around in the dark brought back the deceptively liberating sensations I had known sneaking through the academy at night. An agitated thrill that didn’t soothe or offer any real sense of achievement.

  False freedom wasn’t enough.