Aunt Zoe sprinkled bacon bits on the mushroom caps stuffed with cream cheese. “What did he tell you?”

  “That you sucker-punched him,” Mom told her, brushing the crust with an egg white.

  I added, “And that you demanded to be taken home immediately. I still can’t believe you didn’t tell me. I tell you everything.”

  “That’s a bunch of hogwash,” she said.

  “Which part?” Harvey asked.

  “Both Reid’s proposal and Violet saying she tells me everything. She kept Doc a secret from me for weeks.” Setting the pan of mushroom caps aside, Aunt Zoe waved me over. “Finish up these deviled eggs, will you?”

  “Violet’s the queen of secrets. She always has been.” Mom sprinkled sugar on top of the pie and then wiped her hands on her apron. “There. Do you think we have enough pies?”

  I grew up needing to keep secrets. Having Susan always searching for my emotional gold to plunder and destroy made being secretive a must. “Mom, you already had four pies made when we arrived last night. I told you we don’t need any more.”

  “I disagree, Sparky.” Harvey winked at Mom. “Ya can never have enough cherry pie. Ain’t that right, Hope?”

  “That’s right, Willis.”

  “Plus,” I continued, “there are the Christmas cookies the kids made. Oh, and that powdered sugar and chocolate cereal stuff that makes a big mess of my kids’ fingers and anything they touch.”

  “It’s called Chocolate Puppy Chow and happens to be Addy’s favorite.”

  “That’s just because it has an animal in the name.” I pointed my egg yolk and mayo–covered knife at the sideboard where even more desserts waited on display. “You have stained-glass cookies and homemade s’more bars and Mexican wedding cookies, too.”

  “Weddin’ cookies might come in handy if Zoe changes her mind about Reid wantin’ to get hitched,” Harvey said, laughing as Aunt Zoe grabbed a towel and swatted at him.

  Mom slipped by them, stealing the towel from Aunt Zoe on the way to the sink. “I thought commitment was what you wanted from Reid the last time you were an item.”

  “Years ago, yes.” Aunt Zoe uncovered Harvey’s homemade rolls that had been left to rise and slid the tray into the top oven. “Now, it’s a matter of fool me once, shame on him; fool me twice, shame on me.”

  I finished filling the remaining egg halves and tossed the knife into the dishwater. “But you asked him to marry you the first time, not the other way around.”

  “Reid really wants to settle down with you now. He seemed genuinely sincere.” Mom grabbed a jar of olives from the refrigerator. “Doesn’t that make a difference to you?”

  A growl came from Aunt Zoe. “When it comes down to it, marriage is just a piece of paper. What matters is what’s in his heart.”

  Harvey sprinkled fried onions on the top of the green bean casserole he’d thrown together earlier. “It doesn’t hurt if he’s rich enough to eat fried chicken every day, too.”

  “Don’t let Elvis or Addy hear that,” Mom said, playing along with a giggle. “Violet, get the sweet pickles out from the pantry, please.”

  “And the marshmallows,” Aunt Zoe added.

  “What also matters is what’s in your heart,” I said after I had a jar of homemade pickles in one hand and a bag of marshmallows in the other.

  Aunt Zoe caught the bag when I tossed it to her. “I know what’s going on in my ol’ ticker. His? Not so much.” She opened the bag and covered the casserole dish of yams with mini-marshmallows. “I thought I knew years ago, but he had the wool pulled over my eyes.”

  Harvey set the green bean casserole on the counter next to the stove. “You sure ya don’t want to try trottin’ along in a double harness for a bit? Single stalls get awful cold and lonely after a while, no matter how much straw you stuff all around ya. I know that for a fact.”

  “I’m positive,” she said.

  “If Sparky ends up moving in with Doc someday, a li’l company might be nice.”

  Moving in with Doc was something I’d thought about so many times while twiddling my thumbs at Calamity Jane Realty that I deserved the top spot on the Daydreamers Wall of Fame. However, I came with two kids, a cat, a hamster, and a chicken. While Doc enjoyed having me in his bed, I wasn’t sure he’d be as thrilled about all of the fingerprints, cat hair, and chicken feathers that would result from our merging of abodes.

  “I’ll tell you what, Willis,” Aunt Zoe said. “If Violet moves in with Doc, I’ll save her room for you and your lazy ol’ dog to keep me company in my lonely stall.”

  Harvey’s grin hung from ear to ear. “Speaking on Ol’ Red’s behalf, it’s a deal.”

  “Violet.” Mom looked up from prepping the relish dish. “Go find Susan and have her help you set the table. The Christmas plates are in the china cabinet, along with some new cloth napkins I bought for the occasion.”

  I started to tell my mom I’d set the table on my own, but then remembered I was not going to cause any problems this Christmas. That vow included not bucking my mom at every turn when it came to Susan. “Okay. How much longer until we eat?”

  “Probably about forty-five minutes, max,” Aunt Zoe answered, getting a nod from Harvey.

  “I’ll let everyone know dinner is within the hour.” I grabbed a handful of Chocolate Puppy Chow from the sideboard on my way out of the kitchen and shoved it all in my mouth at once. I needed all of the help I could get with being sweet when I ran into the holly-jolly harlot.

  In the living room I found Layne standing in front of Cornelius, who lounged in my dad’s recliner. My son was swinging his trident around in the air, slaying invisible enemies. I stood next to the Christmas tree, watching and listening.

  “Who would you rather battle?” Layne took another swing. “Hydra or a kraken?”

  “A kraken,” Cornelius said without hesitation. “Hydra had poisonous breath and lethal blood.”

  “And if you chopped off one head, two would grow back.” Layne pretended to jab his enemy.

  “Hydra’s head regeneration is only in later versions of the story, of course.”

  “Of course,” Layne parroted. “If you were walking alone at night in the middle of nowhere, would you rather come across a comozos in the Mexican jungle or a vampire in Transylvania?”

  “Do you mean to say Camazotz, the creature that was periodically released from the Maya underworld to keep humans in line according to Maya mythology?”

  “Yeah, that’s the one. The giant demon thing with the head and wings of a bat but the body of a man. I read that he took out a whole village.”

  One of Cornelius’s dark eyebrows rose. “Did you know that some experts believe Camazotz was based on a real creature?”

  The trident lowered. “No way!”

  “Yes way. Fossils were found in the Maya jungle of a giant bat that might have led to the myth.”

  Layne puffed out his chest. “I’d like to see a giant man-eating bat.”

  No, he wouldn’t, but I kept my mouth shut. Layne was talking tough in front of Cornelius, trying to impress and bond with him. I’d seen Layne do the same thing with Cooper and Doc. My son was growing up, seeking out males as role models. I was lucky to have so many smart and strong examples to help teach Layne how to be a man worth his salt.

  My eyes watered a bit as I watched Layne swing his trident again. I just prayed the lessons would help keep him alive when the monsters came.

  Wait. That was negative. I thought of Camo-Claus’s words and forced a smile to my lips. Think positive thoughts.

  Okay. I was glad for these lessons because they would help keep Layne alive if the monsters came.

  There. That was better.

  I looked up to find Cornelius focused on me, his blue eyes searching. I smiled wider, willing the positivity to blaze forth.

  He flinched and turned back to my son. “Layne, did you know that in China, people honor the bat as a good symbol for happiness and long life, especially if you see five in a group. They call it a five-fold blessing.”

  “Really?”

  “Why five?” I asked, joining their conversation.

  “The number five in Chinese traditions is considered very favorable to success. In this case, the five blessings were happiness, prosperity, longevity, luck, and wealth.”

  “How do you know all of this stuff about China and the Maya?” Layne asked.

  “Cornelius loves to read,” I explained.

  “So do I.” Layne’s face lit up, his eyes big and round. He dropped onto the floor at Cornelius’s feet, resting his trident in his lap. “What else do you know about bats?”

  “Let’s see.” Cornelius stroked his pointy goatee. “In the realm of magic, bats are thought of as good for communication. If you build a bat house on your property, you can go call upon the bats to help you communicate better with other humans. My grandmother down in Louisiana had more than twenty bat houses on her farm.”

  “Wow!” Layne turned to me. “Can I build a bat house in Aunt Zoe’s backyard?”

  I shrugged. “You need to ask her that, not me.”

  Back to Cornelius, he said, “Did your grandma talk to the bats?”

  “Wait,” I interrupted. “Have either of you seen Susan?”

  Layne pointed toward the door leading to the basement. “She didn’t like us talking about slaying monsters on Christmas.”

  “Monster slaying isn’t for everyone,” I said.

  Cornelius gave me one of his odd, crooked smiles. “Some have no choice in the matter.”

  That was a natural-born fact. I smiled back. “So, which one would you rather run into at night, Cornelius? Camazotz or Dracula?”

  “Well, both are bloodsuckers, but I’d pick Dracula. He’s easier to kill.”

  “How do you figure?” I asked.

  “All I have to do is drag him out in the sun. According to legend, Camazotz is a far more dangerous foe.”

  I nodded. “Man-eating bat demons are deadly. Got it.” With any luck, I’d not run into one any time soon.

  I headed for the basement stairs. As I opened the basement door, I heard Layne ask, “Would you rather go out to dinner and a movie with a banshee or a siren?”

  The familiar whistling music of one of my dad’s favorite spaghetti westerns lured me downstairs.

  When I was growing up, the basement was a rec room for us kids, somewhere my parents would send us to play so they could watch television in peace and quiet. As soon as all three of the kids had moved out, my dad took the space over as his game room, moving in a big-screen television, a high-tech stereo and sound system, a foosball table, a dartboard, and a mini-bar.

  Over the years, he’d had to share it periodically, like with me when I moved back home now and then in need of my parents’ help with raising my kids. Or like when Susan returned home months ago to regroup before flying back out into the world to suck the blood out of some other innocent soul.

  Layne should have asked Cornelius if he’d rather face off with Susan in a dark alley or a giant man-eating bat.

  I shook off my thoughts of Susan and her bloodsucking ilk and focused on Doc, who was waiting to take his turn at the dartboard. He’d showered while I was at the store with my mom, donning black jeans and a red flannel shirt for the holiday.

  “Hey, good looking. Come here often?” I asked him as I crossed the rec room.

  “Quiet, Parker,” Cooper said while aiming his dart. “I’m trying to focus here.”

  Cooper had been the only one who hadn’t brought a bag of clothes, since his plan had involved returning all of us to Deadwood in one piece. He wore his black henley shirt and blue jeans from yesterday that he’d washed and dried last night at the Morgan house.

  A round of gunfire rattled from the speakers.

  I smirked. “Like you can focus over the sound of Tuco and Blondie shooting up the town?”

  “Gunplay is music to my ears,” Cooper replied, closing one eye as he lined up his throw.

  A glass clinked over at the minibar.

  “Ohhhh,” Susan purred. “I like a man who knows how to handle dangerous toys.”

  I grimaced, turning to look Medusa in the eye. Pillar of stone be damned.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Several remarks flew through my head while I held my tongue, none of them very Christmassy.

  Stay positive, Violet, my mother’s voice said in my head.

  I smiled so hard it hurt. “Susan, why am I not surprised to find you down here with Doc and Cooper?”

  “I came for the liquor.” She held up a bottle of rum, and then leaned back against the bar, crossing her gazelle-like legs. “And stayed for the company.”

  I rolled my eyes at her stupid sexy-strumpet act. It wasn’t an easy feat while holding that smile in place.

  “Stop with that mad grin,” she snapped. “You look like some kind of creepy clown who escaped the circus of the deranged.”

  I smiled even harder at her, making my eyes bulge.

  “Come here, my little crazy clown.” Doc caught my hand and pulled me to his side, kissing the smile off my lips.

  “Miss me already?” I joked, tugging on both loose ends of the Gomez Addams tie looped around his neck. I’d found the tie online and hoped Doc wouldn’t think it was too sappy of a gift. The smile and flirty wink he’d aimed my way when he’d opened it this morning had squelched my worries.

  “Always, but that kiss was for good luck. Coop’s on the verge of kicking my ass.”

  I chuckled, taking a step back from Doc. “What a coincidence. He’s always on the verge of kicking mine.”

  Cooper threw the dart, missing the bull’s-eye by a good inch. “Damn it, Parker. You’re messing with my concentration.”

  “She’s good at that,” Doc said, scoping out the beaded v-neckline of my green tunic that I’d changed into after breakfast. “I haven’t been able to think straight since July.”

  “Oh, look,” Susan said, butting into our conversation. “A sprig of mistletoe.” She dangled it out in front of her. “How fortunate that someone left it down here.”

  Crazy smile back in place, I strode over and snatched the mistletoe from her fingers.

  “Hey!”

  I stuffed it down the front of my black velvet leggings. “Not today, sister.”

  “Rude!” she said to my back as I walked away.

  “How’re things going in the kitchen?” Doc asked when I returned to his side and dropped the crazed smile.

  “Aunt Zoe says dinner will be ready in about half an hour.” I glanced at my sister, who was glaring daggers at me. The urge to flip her off came and went. Whew! I was getting good at this positivity shit. “Susan, Mom wanted me to tell you it’s time to set the table.”

  She took a glass from the bar and poured two fingers of whiskey in it. “Why can’t you set it?”

  “Because I’ve been working in the kitchen.”

  “Maybe you should come help me anyway.”

  Frowning, I tried to figure out her angle. “Why would I want to do that?” Besides the fact that Mom said I was supposed to help her.

  “Because it’s our joint job to play hostess.” She held up the glass of amber liquid. “Coop, here’s your whiskey.”

  Coop? I mirrored Clint Eastwood’s squint on the big screen. “Susan, be a good daughter and go set the table as your mother requested.”

  She set the glass of liquor down hard. “Take notice, Doc. Violet may seem sweet and innocent on the surface, but underneath that curly nest on her head she’s a bossy bitch.”

  This time I did give her the finger, but I waited until her back was turned, so that had to be worth something on the character-building scale.

  After she’d climbed the stairs, Doc chuckled and stepped up to the line to throw a dart. “Joke’s on her. I knew you weren’t sweet or innocent from the start.”

  “Really? You didn’t buy my virtuous virgin routine?”

  “Not with the way you looked at me when we were alone.” He lined up the dart. “Not to mention the things you can do with those lips of yours.”

  Cooper groaned, grabbing the glass of whiskey Susan had poured for him. “Don’t you two start with the lovey-dovey shit or I’ll bury the next dart in your ass, Nyce.”

  Doc threw, his dart landing closer to the bull’s-eye than Cooper’s last one.

  “Nice throw,” I said, patting him on the butt.

  “Parker, go back upstairs. You’re ruining the game.”

  “Coop’s a poor sport,” Doc said. He caught my hand and lifted it to his lips. “Now, where were we, cara mia?”

  “You were reminiscing about my lack of virtue.”

  “Right.” His gaze lowered. “Did I or did I not see you stuff mistletoe down your pants a moment ago, gorgeous?”

  Cooper cursed. “You two make me want to plant my head in a snow bank.” He moved behind the bar. “Where’s the ice? Your sister pours a lousy whiskey on the rocks.”

  Speaking of Susan, I scowled at Cooper. “You let my sister call you ‘Coop’ but not me?”

  He smirked. “That’s right.”

  I crossed my arms. “It’s not very warm and fuzzy of you to be so mean to me on Christmas.”

  “I’ve told you before, I’m not a warm and fuzzy guy.”

  “He talks tough,” Doc said, dropping my hand and lining up for another throw. “But I think he just needs some sugar to sweeten him up.”

  “Sugar, huh? Where is Natalie, anyway?” I goaded Cooper, earning a glare in return. “Did you scare her away with your sharp and scratchy personality?”

  Cooper flipped me off. Apparently, he needed to learn about the power of positivity. “She and Addy went outside to build a snowman.”

  I waited for Doc to throw his dart before asking, “What about Reid and my dad?”

  “Reid offered to let your dad drive the snowcat,” Doc explained, lining up his final throw. “They went for a ride.”