She flipped me off. “Can you see that through my brilliance?”

  “That’s it. I’m telling Santa on you.”

  To Cornelius, I said, “Fine. It’s a deal.” I would’ve probably been roped into channeling the ghost brat one way or another, since Doc was on Cornelius’s side when it came to ensnaring the wily changeling. Before Cornelius could say anything, I blurted, “On one condition.”

  “What’s the condition?” Natalie asked, sounding like his attorney.

  “Are you working for him or me?”

  “Him,” she said, her eyes alight, teasing. “He’s agreed to teach me how to get guys to treat me better.”

  He did? Was that why she’d given him the shaving kit? Had it been another trade deal? Was this guidance supposed to help her fight off her feelings for Cooper, or was it intended for men in general?

  I pushed aside my questions for later when she and I were alone. “My condition is that Cornelius comes to my parents’ place with us for the holiday.”

  I had an idea that would keep Cornelius from staying home alone in this apartment over Christmas while at the same time giving him a purpose so he didn’t feel like a third wheel.

  Cornelius cocked his head to the side. “This seems like a courtship ritual of some sort. I don’t believe your Tall Medium would approve of me posing as your love companion again in front of your parents.”

  “It’s not a courtship ritual, so don’t worry about my Tall Medium. Doc will be there with us. This is more of a defensive move since my sister will also be there and she has a history of pawing you all over.”

  “But wasn’t that when Susan had Cornelius confused for Doc and was trying to make you jealous?”

  “Yes,” I told Natalie. “But Cornelius has a way of throwing Susan off her game. He might be able to run interference for me.”

  “So, in addition to giving you the trident,” Natalie clarified, “Cornelius has to try to distract the man-stealing tramp for a couple of days?”

  “Bingo. Between his efforts and yours, I’m hoping Susan won’t be able to connive my demise as easily.”

  Natalie frowned. “Sheesh, you’re not taking any chances this time, are you?”

  “Never underestimate the power of the Bitch from Hell. Mark my words, her forked tongue has wreaked havoc for the last time on my love life.”

  “Your littermate has a forked tongue?” Cornelius asked.

  “Metaphorically speaking.”

  He stroked his beard. “I’ve often wondered what it would be like to exchange saliva in a French fashion with someone whose tongue is split in two.”

  Natalie and I both blinked at him, no words coming forth from either of us for several beats.

  “What do you think?” he asked Natalie.

  “Well, based on decades of dealing with Violet’s sister, you’re getting the shaft in this deal.”

  I poked her in the shoulder. “Remind me to ask Santa for a new best friend for Christmas next year.”

  She poked me back. “You’ll be lucky to get a tiny lump of coal with the way you’re going, Executioner.”

  She had a point. While selling real estate was harmless enough most days, my part-time job of killing otherworldly assholes was sure to put me at the top of the Naughty list along with Susan … if I lived that long. Executing deadly troublemakers was a hazardous business.

  “How many nights?” Cornelius asked me.

  “Only two.”

  I hoped.

  “You’d better pack for three,” Natalie chimed in like a death knoll.

  I squinted at her for not helping. She wrinkled her nose back at me.

  “What’s your parents’ house number?” Cornelius asked.

  “3731. Why?”

  “Prime numbers. Most excellent.” Handing me the trident, he said, “Since I’m already prepared for an extended stay away, I agree to the terms of your deal, Violet.”

  He picked up his bag that sat next to the Murphy bed in the living room and then detoured to the bathroom, returning with a shaving kit that had a Bigfoot emblem on the side. He stuffed the kit and his new robe in his bag. “What is the destination location for this holiday event?”

  “Rapid City.” I held up the key that had instigated our visit with Cornelius. “I guess you won’t be needing Doc’s key now.”

  He took it and pocketed it. “Not until I return from completing my diversion duties with your littermate.” He shut off the lights and indicated for us to lead the way out of the apartment.

  Natalie opened the door. “What happened to your key, Cornelius?”

  I followed her down the stairs, trident in hand. “Did you lose it?”

  “Violet’s dead boss hid it from me.”

  I did an about-face, frowning up at him as he closed the door.

  Natalie waited for us at the base of the stairs. “How could Jane’s ghost hide your key to Doc’s office?”

  Actually, the “how” of it wasn’t so much of a question, since Jane had been growing more active over the last month or two. My dead boss was the reason Cornelius had been asked to move into the apartment above our office in the first place. However, ever since Cornelius had started sharing space with Jane’s ghost, her abilities had strengthened to worrisome levels.

  “The better question in this case,” I said, “is why would Jane hide the key from you?”

  He hitched his bag over his shoulder. “She’s averse to me watching her through my video cameras.”

  “Did she whisper that in your ear or something?” Natalie pressed.

  “She made her feelings clear via the whiteboard in Violet’s office this morning.” Cornelius started down the stairs toward me.

  That was fitting. Jane always had a penchant for filling the office whiteboards with to-do lists.

  “What did she write?” I asked.

  “Stop watching me!”

  Chapter Five

  Maybe I was overreacting about Susan having diabolical plans to steal my boyfriend, but she was slippery as a pocket full of pudding. If I could stack the deck in my favor with the aid of Natalie and Cornelius, I might not find myself squirming like a worm in hot ashes throughout the next couple of days of holiday merriments.

  My phone rang as soon as I crawled behind the steering wheel in my SUV. I pulled it out as Natalie piled in next to me, her stocking cap and coat heavily sprinkled with snow from the short rush across the parking lot. Cornelius took the back seat.

  A glance at the phone’s screen confirmed my fears—my mother was calling yet again, undoubtedly to remind me that the sky was still falling in frozen wet pieces.

  I handed Natalie my phone as I started the engine. “Answer that for me, would you?”

  “Sure thing.” She held the phone to her ear. “Santa’s workshop, Natalie the drunken elf speaking.”

  I heard my mom’s laughter coming through the line, followed by a flurry of words. Shifting into drive, I headed out of the lot. According to the Honda’s external thermometer, the temperature had dropped noticeably outside over the last half hour. The parking lot had a slight crunch underneath the snow where there used to be slush.

  Natalie smiled as she listened. My parents had unofficially adopted my best friend as one of their own long ago, including Natalie in our family holiday plans since we were kids. Not having her with us at all this year would have been odd.

  “Yeah, she’s right here next to me trying to drive through this mess,” she told my mom.

  My tires lost traction for a second or two when I pulled out onto Sherman Street. The snowplow had recently been through on the main drag, but Old Man Winter was making quick work of whiting out the plow’s hard work.

  “I know, it’s crazy,” Natalie continued. “We’ll be on our way as soon as we pick up Doc.” She paused, listening. “We as in Vi, Doc, Cornelius, and me.” Another pause. Natalie grinned at me. “Yes, Cornelius is the one who talked about his dead grandfather’s fondness for coffin flies at the family dinner a few weeks ago.” She listened again and laughed, glancing back at Cornelius. “No, I don’t believe he’s ever been employed by a traveling circus. However, I have been recently informed that one of his female ancestors was revered as some sort of voodoo queen down in the Louisiana swampland.”

  A cacophony of squawks and high-pitched utterances came through the line.

  Natalie held the phone away, snorting and giggling. Her lips were still twitching at the corners when she returned to the call. “Is Cornelius coming as my date? No. He’s a good friend. Your daughter insisted he come along with us because he couldn’t make it home to his family for the holidays due to a flight issue.”

  I heard my mom’s compassionate “ohhh” through the line. Damn, Natalie was good. She knew all about my mom’s soft spot for orphaned souls.

  I passed a few other four-wheel drive vehicles as well as a pair of snowmobiles as I steered through the mess to Doc’s house, a few blocks away from the office. If it weren’t for Doc, a new set of chains, and four-wheel drive, I would have been doing more knuckle chewing about making the snowy drive to my parents.

  As we neared Doc’s, I whispered to Natalie, “Wrap it up.”

  Natalie nodded at me. “Was there something you needed from Violet?” she asked my mom in a much nicer way than I would have at this point. Her forehead furrowed, her smile flipping into a troubled frown. “Sure thing, Hope-ster. I’ll let her know. Don’t worry, we’ll be there raiding your fridge before long. Give Susan my love and tell her I’ll see her soon.”

  I giggled. That should get Susan good and spooked. Natalie’s historic feats of retaliation against her on my account were almost as legendary as Susan’s evil deeds.

  Natalie hung up after saying good-bye. She tucked the phone back in my purse. “Your mom needs a bottle of tequila.”

  I guffawed, pulling in behind the Picklemobile, an old green truck Doc was borrowing from Harvey while he stored his souped-up 1969 Camaro SS in his garage. “That’s why she called? She’s low on liquor?” Hell, I wasn’t even there yet to get the mayhem rolling. I shut off the engine.

  “No. She called because she just heard on the news that they closed Interstate 90 from the Wyoming border to Rapid City.”

  “Fudgesicles!” I groaned, leaning my head on the steering wheel. Now what?

  Cornelius spoke up from the back seat. “Truth be told, I actually spent a summer working for a circus troupe during college.”

  “Really?” Natalie turned to look at him. “Doing what?”

  “Training the monkeys to ride unicycles.”

  A bubble of laughter rose up my throat, hilarity and hysteria mixing in my chest.

  Damned the meteorologists for being right this time.

  How in the hell was I going to get to my kids?

  Natalie patted my back. “We’ll figure out a way to Rapid,” she said, reading my mind. “Let’s go talk to Doc. He and his big brain will have a solution.”

  The three of us scurried around Harvey’s Ford pickup that sat next to the Picklemobile and climbed the steps onto Doc’s front porch.

  The door opened before I could knock. Harvey ushered us inside, shutting out the wind that was trying to beat down the door. Green and white striped suspenders were hooked to his jeans, looking festive with his red flannel shirt.

  “You’re cuttin’ it close, Sparky,” he said, frowning at me through his salt-and-pepper beard. His matching eyebrows were wrinkled into one long bushy caterpillar. “A blizzard is a bad time to be drivin’ through the backside of nowhere.”

  “What do you mean, the backside of nowhere?” I unbuttoned my coat and then took off my cable knit beanie, shaking out my damp blond curls.

  “They shut down Interstate 90 clear to Rapid.”

  “We heard,” Natalie said, tugging off her stocking hat.

  “The only way yer gonna git home now is up Strawberry Hill on Highway 385 and out past my ranch.”

  Natalie sucked air through her teeth. “That’s a lot of twists and turns and hills to slip and slide through. We could try Nemo Road, but it might be even worse and your parents live closer to where Rimrock Highway dumps us into Rapid.”

  “Those flying reindeer would come in handy right about now,” Cornelius said, stuffing his gloves in his coat pockets. He sniffed. “What’s that divine aroma?”

  “Chocolate peanut butter surprise cookies,” Harvey answered. “Feel free to help yerself to some. They’re on the counter.”

  Cornelius didn’t hesitate, his long legs speeding toward Doc’s kitchen.

  “US 385 is tricky in the snow,” I said, returning to the problem at hand. “But it’s still doable.”

  I spoke from experience. My dad had driven us home from Aunt Zoe’s place through the snow many times in the past.

  “Sure,” Natalie said, rubbing her hands together. “If the plows are still running up there.”

  “Are they?” I asked Harvey.

  Harvey scratched at his beard. “Let me call Coop and double-check.”

  “Where is Coop?” Natalie asked, earning a pair of raised brows from me. She ignored me, focusing extra hard on Harvey. “I thought he was going to his mom’s place for the holiday.”

  “He’s still at work.”

  “Of course Detective Scrooge is still hunched over his desk,” Natalie grumbled. “He’ll probably work straight through Christmas and not even realize it.”

  Natalie suffered from a twisted sort of professional jealousy when it came to Cooper’s job, stemming from his choosing to run away to his work rather than finishing what he started with her that night behind the Purple Door Saloon.

  “Knock it off, Grinch,” I told her. “You’re raining bitterness all over my Merry freakin’ Christmas.”

  While I understood the pain of rejection, Natalie needed to move on with her life and focus on the here and now—such as how in the hell we were going to make it to my kids down in Rapid City.

  She harrumphed. “Fine. If you need me, my sour puss will be in the kitchen scarfing down a plateful of cookies.”

  As she followed in Cornelius’s wake, I looked around. “Where’s Doc?”

  Harvey thumbed toward the stairs. “He told me to send ya up when ya got here.”

  I checked to make sure my boots were clear of snow and started up the stairs.

  “Hold up, Sparky. Coop wanted me to give you something.”

  “Coop?” I hesitated. “Is it an orange jumpsuit and a set of chained ankle cuffs?”

  Harvey rooted around in the closet beneath the stairs. He came out with a Christmas present the size of a large clothing box and handed it to me.

  “What’s this?”

  “Coop said ya wanted it fer yer stallion.”

  “Ohhhh.” I smiled, knowing what was in the box now. Cooper had come through on one of my gifts for Doc. “Did your nephew actually wrap this?” The box even had a pretty bow and ribbon curls.

  “ ’Course not. I did.”

  I kissed Harvey’s cheek. “You’re the best bodyguard around. Save me some cookies before Natalie and Cornelius hog them all.”

  I hurried up the stairs, knocking lightly on the bedroom door before opening it. “Doc?”

  He stood on the other side of his bed at his desk, wearing black jeans and the brown sweater that turned his eyes into dark chocolate bliss. One smolder from him while wearing that sweater would rocket my head to the North Pole, no reindeer needed.

  Doc’s focus remained on his laptop screen as I shut the door. “Come take a look at this, Killer.”

  I crossed to his desk, setting the present down on his bed before joining him. I touched his back as I leaned down to look at the screen. The urge to slide my cold fingers under his soft sweater and let him warm me up in more ways than one made me lean toward him and breathe him in. He smelled tempting, a mixture of Harvey’s cookies and spicy cologne. The combination had part of me wanting to nibble on his neck and the other wanting to jump his bones.

  I settled for a kiss on his beard-stubbled jaw before zeroing in on the weather radar map displayed on his laptop. As I watched, the image on the screen shifted through the past twenty minutes, showing the storm move in five-minute intervals over the northern Black Hills.

  “I take it you heard about Interstate 90,” I said, scowling at all of the snow-inspired blues and purples on the screen.

  “Yep.” Doc pointed at US Highway 385 on the screen. “The thick of the storm hasn’t shifted too far south yet, but it’s heading in that direction. We need to leave soon. According to the latest weather report, it will engulf all of the northern hills in the next few hours.”

  “Crud.” I blew out a breath. “We should probably grab a shovel and pack some food along to be safe.”

  He took a step back from his desk. “You still have that box of litter in the back of your Honda? We might need it to help with traction.”

  I nodded, pulling my gaze away from the screen to find him down staring at me with an expression I couldn’t quite read. I stood upright. “What? Do I have something on my face?”

  He tugged on one of my curls. “You look cute with your pink nose and matching cheeks.” His gaze drifted south. “I really like those purple snow boots.”

  So he’d mentioned several times since I bought them a few days ago. “You have purple boots on the brain.”

  The corners of his eyes crinkled. “Always.”

  “It’s freezing out there.”

  “I know how to heat you up, cara mia.” He slid his hand around to the back of my neck and bent down, warming my lips for starters.

  “There’s no time,” I whispered and went up on my toes, wrapping my arms around his neck. I kissed a path along his stubble-covered jaw to his earlobe. “I have a present for you, mon cher.”

  “Ah, Tish.” He gripped my hips, pulling me closer. “If it’s you naked in my bed with another red ribbon and more sweet torture in your plans, then I must be on Santa’s Nice list this year.”

  “Oh, you’ve been nice.” I tugged playfully on his earlobe with my teeth. “Really nice, and extra good, too. But that present comes later, after we make it through the storm and are under the covers in my old bedroom.”