Kelly was quiet for a moment. “Brenda, this doesn’t sound good.”

  Brenda tried to keep her voice light. “I know, but we got married too quickly. Over Christmas, I realized that I needed to spend some time alone, to figure out what I really want.”

  “Sounds like a midlife crisis.”

  “I think I had that when I shaved my head and married Marius in the first place.”

  “But he’s wonderful.”

  Brenda’s throat tightened. “I know. But I’m not. I’m a mess.”

  “Not always,” Kelly said quickly.

  Brenda laughed. Kelly meant well, but the longer they conversed, the more Brenda knew that it was unwise to continue. If she talked to Kelly, she’d end up telling her everything, and Kelly would weaken her resolve. She’d confess her love for Marius, all her fears, and Kelly would convince her to return to him. She could almost hear it now.

  Your love is more important than his singing.

  But Kelly hadn’t heard Marius explain that he lived to sing. To him, it was more important than speaking. He’d prepared for years to be where he was now.

  So Brenda would have to be strong. “And there’s another thing. I need to cut all my ties to Dallas. Even with you.”

  “What?”

  “I need to know that I can stand on my own.”

  “You’re not making sense.”

  “For a while, I’m not going to answer your phone calls or emails or texts. I need to be completely alone.”

  “But why?”

  Brenda scrambled to find an excuse that would keep Kelly from contacting her. “Well, this isn’t nice, but I’m jealous of you, and I don’t like that, so I’m going to keep my distance.”

  “Jealous? Of Lars?”

  “No. Danny,” Brenda said flatly. “Every time I see you holding your baby, I feel lousy. It’s not very mature, but that’s what I’m feeling right now.”

  “Wow,” Kelly said weakly. “I’m sorry.”

  “So am I.” Brenda sighed. “But it won’t be forever. I’ll be gone six months, and hopefully by then I will have grown up some.”

  “Oh, Brenda,” Kelly said. “This is worse than cutting your hair.”

  I know.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  Marius thought of Brenda continually through the day. He relived the few months of their marriage, wishing he had handled conversations differently, wondering if it would have made a difference. He did his job at the University and practiced his singing, but he felt as if he were merely going through the motions. He prayed and tried to follow his own advice of not worrying. But what would he do, if in a few months Brenda didn’t want to come back to him?

  What if she found someone else?

  Francesca scolded him. “Marius. What is wrong with you today?”

  Marius knew he couldn’t bring Brenda back if she refused to come. He needed to be patient and do the job at hand -- winning the National Council Audition, if he could.

  #

  January was chillier in Oklahoma than Texas, and Brenda found the wind worse. But she went to work, exercised to the point of exhaustion, and zoned out watching operas on DVD until she fell asleep at night. She tried not to think every minute about the people she had left behind in Dallas.

  Marius wrote her an email, telling her he had done well at the Regional competition and would be going to New York for the semi-finals. Brenda drafted more than a dozen responses and deleted them. Finally, after three days, she sent back a terse, “Congratulations. Wishing you all the best.”

  In mid-January she started throwing up.

  At first she thought she’d caught stomach flu, but after a week she took a pregnancy test.

  God had been listening, but his timing was awful.

  She was pregnant.

  She must have gotten pregnant right before she left Marius. She wanted to tell him, and Kelly, and her parents, but knew that if she did, it would undermine the purpose of leaving Marius. He needed time to focus on his singing, without any distractions from her.

  If all went well, she’d tell him later, after the final competition in March.

  Part of her was thrilled to be pregnant. She’d wanted a baby for so long, but she was scared, too.

  Would she be a good mother?

  Would she and Marius become a family?

  She wondered if he missed her or if he were secretly relieved that she was gone. He had thought he loved her, but if he didn’t see her, would he forget her?

  She was cynical enough to think that even Alfredo would forget Violetta in time. He would grieve for a while, but eventually he would marry a nice, respectable girl that his family liked. He’d have children and be happy, only occasionally remembering the courtesan who had died in his arms. There was a reason no one wanted to see La Traviata: The Sequel.

  It was depressing, but true. As much as people liked to sing about it, no one actually died from a broken heart.

  #

  Marius knew Brenda didn’t want to hear from him. She’d made it very clear when she left, and when he did email her, she replied with very short messages. But he thought of her every day, wishing she would open her heart and return to him.

  And once the competition was over, he would go to Oklahoma and see her, even if she rebuffed him. He would go to her bank every day until she spoke with him.

  But until then, what could he do?

  He remembered the list of home improvements she had wanted to do, and started working on them. When she finally returned to their home, he wanted to surprise her and make her happy. So he had the hardwood wood floors sanded and refinished. He paid someone to paint over the outside brick, so it was now a warm sand color rather than bright blue. Then he had the tree stumps in the front yard dug up, the roots ground down and winter grass planted.

  Would she even care?

  Eventually, he wrote her an email:

  Brenda: No matter what your feelings for me are, I would like you to be at the National Council Audition finals. I’ve purchased a ticket for the Grand Finals concert, airline tickets and made hotel reservations for you. Please come.

  Her response, three days later was brief.

  Thank you, I’d like that. But no promises.

  At least it wasn’t an outright refusal. So he clung to that tiny thread of hope and prayed. And sang.

  #

  At the end of February, Brenda texted Kelly. Please call.

  Within ten minutes, her phone rang. Kelly was breathless. “Brenda, is that really you?”

  “Yes.”

  “It’s so wonderful to hear your voice. How are you doing?”

  “Not well,” Brenda admitted wryly.

  “What’s the matter?”

  “I’m pregnant,” Brenda said. “And I’m as sick as a dog.”

  “But that’s great news,” Kelly said brightly, then stopped. “It’s Marius’ baby, right?”

  Brenda laughed. She did love Kelly. “Yes, it’s Marius’ baby.”

  “Thank goodness,” Kelly said with a sigh of relief. “So when are you coming home to Dallas?”

  “Not yet. There’s been some complications.”

  “Are you okay?”

  “Not really.” Brenda lay in bed, staring at a gray ceiling above her. “I’m throwing up too much. I’ve lost weight. Some of the women at work thought I was bulimic. But that’s not why I called. I’m in the hospital, on medications to keep me from vomiting and on IVs to help me gain weight.”

  “That sounds serious.”

  “Slightly,” Brenda agreed. “But the doctors aren’t too worried. It’s called Hyperemesis Gravidarum and it happens to about one percent of pregnant women.”

  “You always were an over-achiever.”

  Brenda smiled. Although she hadn’t talked to Kelly for more than two months, they were back to their normal relationship, without missing a beat.

  “Do you need me to drive up there?” Kelly offered.

  “No, I want you to go to New York.”

  “What?”

  “I want you to go to the MET singing finals. Marius is in the finals, and he’s expecting me. I can’t make it, so I want you to be the there to tell him why.”

  Kelly gasped. “Doesn’t he know about all this?”

  “No, and I don’t want you to tell him until the competition is over. I don’t want him worrying about me.”

  “Your baby and your health are more important than any singing contest,” Kelly said simply. “He needs to know.”

  “Don’t make me regret this call,” Brenda said sternly. “I appreciate the sentiment, but I did not leave him, just so you could screw it up in the last two weeks.”

  “What?”

  “Promise me that you will not call him or text him or in anyway let him know about me until after the competition is over.”

  “I guess a few more days won’t matter,” Kelly said finally. “But I still don’t think it’s right.”

  “Promise me,” Brenda insisted.

  “Okay, I promise,” Kelly said finally, and Brenda relaxed. She could trust her best friend. “Now, enough about me,” she said. “Tell me everything about you, Lars and your wonderful baby.”

  #

  Francesca was silent for a more than a minute after Marius finished his aria. He waited for her response. She had an intense look of concentration on her face as if she were re-analyzing each note. Then she smiled. “You are ready,” she said.

  He let his breath out with a sigh of relief. He felt the voice was the best it had ever been, but it was still good to hear her approval.

  “Thank you.”

  “The coloring and agility are good. I think you will do well.”

  “I couldn’t have done it without you.”

  “Perhaps,” she said modestly. She glanced at a clock on her studio wall. “Forgive me, I didn’t realize how late it was.” It was past two in the morning. “And you have to catch a plane tomorrow. Your wife will be worried.”

  At the word wife, Marius flinched. Whenever anyone mentioned Brenda, it was always painful.

  “Will she be going with you?”

  “I don’t know,” Marius said. At Francesca’s look of surprise, he explained, “She’s been working out of state these past few months, but I hope she’ll be there in New York.”

  Francesca nodded her approval. “I wondered why you were improving so rapidly, but it makes sense now.”

  Marius frowned. “What makes sense?”

  “Your voice. It is better without your wife. I’m glad.”

  He knew her theories about sex overtaxing the tenor voice, but he’d never heard her express it so bluntly. “Glad?” he prompted.

  “Glad that she took my advice.”

  Marius’ eyes narrowed. “What advice?”

  Belatedly, Francesca must have realized that she had said too much, so she tried to recover. She yawned. “Forgive me. I’m very tired.”

  He persisted, “What advice? When?”

  She shrugged. “I stopped at her bank. All I said was that you would sing better if she wasn’t sleeping with you.”

  “Which is nonsense,” he said firmly. “Did you tell her to leave me?”

  Francesca watched him carefully. “Can’t you feel the difference? Without her, you are ten times a better singer.”

  She had told Brenda to leave him. He could see it in her eyes. It all made sense now. And for Brenda, who was still insecure and worried enough without help from anyone, it had been too much. “How dare you interfere with my marriage?”

  Francesca raised her chin. “I’m your voice instructor. You hired me to help you become the best you could be. That’s what I was doing.”

  Marius fought to control his anger, to keep his words respectful. “You’re wrong. And when I get back from New York, no matter what the outcome, you are no longer my instructor.”

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  Finally, the day came. Marius stood, ready to step onto the Metropolitan Opera stage, out into the world. The competition would be televised and recorded for posterity. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He had received no emails, no texts, no calls from Brenda. He didn’t know if she had taken the flight and if she were in the audience now.

  But it didn’t matter.

  This afternoon he would sing as if she were before him, listening to every note, every word.

  #

  When his name was announced and he stood before the crowd with the four other winners, Marius felt as if his heart would burst with joy. This was what he worked toward for so long.

  And yet, he longed for Brenda, to share this happiness with her.

  Afterwards, there were photos and more photos. Interviews. More television cameras.

  The other finalists were surrounded by well wishers, but he was alone.

  She hadn’t come.

  He forced himself to smile and speak to people who spoke to him, but he keep scanning the crowd, hoping, looking for her.

  She hadn’t come.

  “Marius.”

  He turned, hopeful, and saw that it was Kelly. His heart sank.

  He was glad to see her, but she wasn’t Brenda. Kelly gave him a hug and kissed his cheek. “Congratulations. You were marvelous.”

  “Thank you.”

  Kelly said, “I’m here for Brenda. She asked me to come.”

  “She’s not here?”

  “No.” The crowd was noisy, so Kelly raised her voice. “She couldn’t come. She’s in the hospital.”

  Marius felt as if he’d been shot. “Where? Is she all right?”

  “She’s still in Oklahoma, and yes, she’s going to be fine,” Kelly assured him. “But she couldn’t come, and she didn’t want you to think she didn’t want to be here.”

  “What happened?” Marius insisted.

  “I think that’s something she wants to tell you herself,” Kelly said diplomatically and handed him her cell phone.

  Marius couldn’t hear. The noise of the crowd was too great. He stepped into a hallway, but it was still too noisy, and the connection was poor.

  “I can’t hear you,” he said into the phone.

  “Then text,” she said, and disconnected the call.

  He texted, I love you. When can I see you?

  Her answer was almost instantaneous. As soon as you can get here.

  #

  Brenda lay in the hospital bed, with a large vase of red roses beside her. It took Marius a while to arrange a flight to Oklahoma, but he’d ordered flowers almost immediately.

  She’d watched his performance via the internet at least a dozen times. She was so proud of him. One of the nurses noticed the performance and wrinkled her nose with distaste. “You like opera?”

  Perhaps not before, but now she loved it. “Yes, I do.”

  “I don’t understand it,” the nurse said. “But I guess it takes all kinds.”

  Brenda just smiled.

  Perhaps it was premature, but she was happy and hopeful.

  Lying down in the hospital for weeks had given her a lot of time to think and to pray. She didn’t have Marius’ faith, but she’d finally made her peace with God and she was ready to move forward. Whether everything would work out with Marius remained to be seen.

  And now that she knew he was on his way, it was difficult to wait patiently.

  The next day he arrived. Brenda knew she had missed him, but the instant she saw him, her heart was flooded with warmth and happiness. He stood in the doorway for a moment, as if not knowing how she’d respond. Which was understandable, considering all the things she’d said when she left Dallas.

  She held her arms open wide and he came over to the hospital bed. They embraced and he kissed her.

  “Oh, Brenda, I’ve missed you.”

  This was what she wanted. “I’ve missed you, too.”

  “Don’t ever leave me again,” he said firmly.

  “I’m sorry,” she said. “I didn’t know what else to do. Francesca said --”

  He put his fingertips against her lips. “I fired Francesca.”

  “But she’s brilliant, and she’s helped you so much.”

  “I’ll find another voice instructor.”

  “Now that you won the National Council Finals, that shouldn’t be difficult.”

  “I hope not.” He sat on the bed beside her. He gently touched her hair that was chin length now, and smiled. “Tell me what’s wrong and what the doctors say.”

  He loved her. She could see it in his eyes and hear it in his voice.

  At that moment, an attendant came into the room to check Brenda’s IV. “Are you the father?” she asked pleasantly.

  Marius’ eyes widened and they looked at Brenda questioningly.

  Brenda nodded.

  “Yes, I am,” Marius said and glanced briefly down at Brenda’s stomach.

  “You must be the singer, too.”

  “You’ve been watching me,” Marius said quietly and Brenda nodded again. She had probably annoyed all the hospital staff by talking about him and making them watch the film clips on the internet.

  “Do you have any albums out?” the woman continued.

  “Not yet.”

  “I’ve got a nephew who is making money singing on YouTube.”

  “I’ll look into that, thank you,” Marius said politely.

  Brenda watched the interaction with interest, knowing that this was how Marius would be when he was famous. He’d be gracious. She had a feeling her marriage was going to be very different than what she had originally planned, but as long as Marius was with her, it would be marvelous.

  After the woman left, Marius turned to Brenda. “A baby?” he asked with mock severity. “When were you going to tell me?”

  Brenda smiled wryly. “It slipped my mind?”

  He shook his head. “No. I want to hear everything, good and bad. If you’re worried about something, tell me. No more secrets.”

  “You, too,” she insisted.

  “I will,” he promised.

  How she loved him. And together they would build a marriage that lasted. “I will, too,” she agreed. “No more secrets.”

  EPILOGUE

  ELEVEN YEARS LATER

  “Mr. Jaworski, may I have your autograph?” the flight attendant asked.