I could tell them and deal with the consequences later.

  That wasn’t an option. I didn’t want to go through that again. I went through a lot with him. He took everything away from me. My virginity, my first kiss, my first everything. Every time I tried to escape, he would thrash me and castigate me until I agreed to stay. Eventually, I submitted and didn’t give in anymore.

  Hell, I didn’t even want them to know who he was, because he’s the exact opposite of them all. What would they think of me?

  Zack

  Raelynn wasn’t telling us anything that would help identify the scars on her body. She wasn’t giving an inch and wasn’t taking a mile. She was staying strictly professional, and while I appreciate that, most of the time, this time, I needed to know what happened. I wanted him or her to pay. For the time being, I will assume it’s him.

  We got into my truck, and I listened to her tell me the directions to her house. “Will you tell me about the scars now?” I asked, hoping that she would tell me since it was her and me.

  “My ex-boyfriend tried to kill me. He was abusive and always tried to control the situation. If I tried to leave, he would beat me. Before he went to prison, he tied me up, and cut me every hour and tried to get me to marry him. If I married him, it would entitle him to half of my inheritance, and I wouldn't want to be with him anymore.”

  “When they found my body, my sugar was at 34. I was in a coma. I was six months pregnant, and I lost the babies. I was pregnant with twins. He starved me for three weeks straight, only giving me water and his cum. He’d rape me daily until I would act like I liked it. Eventually, my body stopped responding to his torture. I died. That’s when the social worker and police team busted into the house. They found me and airlifted me to Atlanta. They didn’t want anyone to find me. It caused my mother to go into a deep depression, and my father had a stroke. It took a year for me to wake up. Nobody knew where I was. I was lucky to have my phone. And called my mom and told her I was alive. It was too late. He literally took my life away from me. Everyone thought I was on drugs. Once the detective explained everything, it calmed down a lot. But my parents already had my funeral and mourned me. When it came down to the trial, he was convicted for 5 years, and he was released two weeks ago.”

  I was seeing red. Smoke. Fire. Death. Dishonor. Words went through my head, and I wanted to kill this son of a bitch. He killed their children.

  Life was unfair.

  “This is me,” she said, pointing at a mansion. The house was enormous. I never noticed the house before.

  “This is your house?” I asked in shock.

  “It is until this week is over. I’m signing it over to my brother so that I never have to come back here again.”

  “Small-town girl turned into a city girl. Now she’s too good to stick it out with the country folk.” I said, laughing.

  Just then, something came to my truck and banged on the window, screaming, “Get out!”

  Raelynn

  The second Zack pulled into the driveway of my gran’s mansion and after I spilled the truth I’ve hidden for so long, I felt relief. I had told no one about the torture James put me through. My parents still believed me to be a drug addict, and I would not try to change their minds. I had done no drugs willingly in my life. The PTSD was rampant, and I still refused to take anxiety medications.

  “Get out,” my brother was beating on the window of Zack’s car and was acting obnoxious. I rolled the window down. “Is there a problem, Josh?” I asked.

  “Mother isn’t pleased with your random disappearing again. If you’re relapsing, tell them. Where is your car, and who is this brute you're riding with?” The audacity of my brother is sickening.

  “The brute you’re speaking of is Zack. That would be me. She’s in my truck because her car is in my shop. She did not relapse, although she ate mine and her weight in BBQ at the shop, and her sugar got dangerously low earlier, so she took a nap in my loft. She was taken care of the entire time.” Zack answered before I could even defend him.

  “Okay, nobody asked you Zack, but nice to meet you. Thanks for taking care of my sister.” Josh replied.

  “Is that all, Josh?” I asked him to go away so I could have a few more moments with Zack to calm down and to make sure that he and I were okay with what was going on with my car.

  “Where did you get those clothes? They look like they’re five times your size.” Josh asked me to look up and down. He tried to open the door, but the door was locked. Not yet. I thought to myself.

  “Zack, let me wear them, because they thought that my passing out would be remedied by pouring Everclear and water on me.” I snapped. “I’ll be inside when I’m there. This is my house until I sign everything over. I am old enough to take care of myself. Thank you for your concern. You can go now.

  “Okay, whatever. Sorry for caring. Just lay off the booze. You smell like a brewery.” Josh grunted.

  If ever I did not need to be judged or need the god complex to be displayed upon me, this was one time. All I wanted was the support of my family and for them to understand that I only wanted to be loved and cheered on. And it did not look like I would get it on this trip either.

  Once Josh got the hint, I looked at Zack, and he had a blank expression on his face. He didn’t look happy, sad, or display any emotions. A blank slate. “Are you okay?” I asked. I knew I was overdoing my stay and welcome. But his truck was just so cozy and with him, I felt safe.

  “I should ask if you’re okay, but yes, I am fine. I will let you know the second your Jeep is running.” He replied and took a piece of my hair out of my eyes, placing it behind my ears.

  “I’m fine. I just hate coming to this small town. I made my life outside of this town and I’m completely happy outside of this state. But sometimes, life just doesn’t give any favors. Does that make sense?”

  “Sure, it does. Life handed you a bad hand, and you forgot to slip some aces in your sleeve, but you still get accused of doing it when you get a good hand.”

  “Exactly!” I yelled, jumping up a little higher than I was. “You get it. I’m not sure if that makes me happy or sad, but you get it!” I was so close to his face. I went to give him a hug. The windows were fogging up. As I went in for the hug, I looked into his beautiful eyes, and he kissed me. The kiss was the most enchanting, hypnotizing, memorable kiss I have ever experienced. I kissed him back.

  With a deep breath, I pulled away. I wasn’t expecting a kiss from him. I wasn’t expecting a ride home from him. I wasn’t expecting him to take care of me, but he did just that and more. If only he was in Texas. If only he wasn’t stuck in this small town. The same tiny town I spent my entire life trying to get away from.

  “Raelynn, take care of yourself. I’m going to hold you to our little deal.” Zack said, smiling.

  “What deal?” I said, smirking.

  “Our date. I’m going to take you on a date. I’m going to pay for it. And you’re going to do nothing but smile the entire time.”

  Zack

  Idrove back to the shop to clean up and close everything down. Rae’s parts wouldn’t be in for about two weeks, and it would take maybe 2-3 hours to ensure I removed everything from the car and an additional day to put everything back in correctly, and then test to make sure it all works. Since the boys went home, I replaced her spark plugs and hoses I had on hand. Since I was planning on removing everything down to the frame, I emptied the oil, and then jacked the car up to take a good look under where the radiator was. This would be a fun job.

  Rae was in my brain, and I couldn’t get her off my mind. Dario and I both agreed that she stepped out of a magazine, fell into a snake pit, and walked straight to the viper’s mouth. She was in every bit of danger, and her eyes screamed dangerously. I needed to stay away from her. Other than her scars, she was a masterpiece. Getting her off my mind would prove to be a challenge even long after dropping her off.

  Her brother was rude, and I didn’t understand why her family treated her like crap. Everything she explained made little sense, but what she said was enough to make me want to change her entire life for her. I didn’t know how I would do it, but I knew I was ready to find her retribution and make sure that sack of scum never came near her again. The part that sickened me the most was the idiot who left her to starve to death, killing her and her twin babies. Ruthless. Sickening. There isn’t a word good enough for what this monster did to her. And her family had a funeral for her and assumed she was dead. She was dead to them, so when she came back to sign her grandmother’s house over to her brother, they wouldn’t have to worry about their daughter anymore. But I wanted to take care of her. I wanted to make sure she felt loved and wanted. I wanted to make sure she wanted herself.

  I was proud of her for escaping her childhood. I wasn’t sure what it was all like, but I know her life with her ex-boyfriend had to be miserable. Her scars were horrific and maddening. I wanted to take every scar she had and kiss and caress them, but I didn’t know this girl. I didn’t know this child. Everything about her screamed she would make it out alive. Everything screamed. She was ready to make a new beginning. Even with the beginning she made in Texas, I selfishly wanted her to stay here and make a life with me. Although I had little to offer her, I’m sure we could make a good life. Stupid me. My brain is going over everything I wanted to say to her and nothing I said. I finally finished with everything I wanted to do with her car to get it ready. I did a super detail on her car, then cleaned the shop. Before I knew it, Dario was walking through the door with coffee. He couldn’t sleep either, apparently. We drank coffee and the first thing he said was, “Those scars, man, they scared me.”

  Raelynn

  I’m not a stranger to insomnia, but everything was keeping me awake. The funeral was today, but I had so much I needed to do before I could leave town. One thing being to get my car able to make it back and then sell the lemon. And this time, I could honestly say it’s just water short of being lemonade. The car’s radiator had a crack in it. How in the hello-operator does that happen? The engine likely overheated and transmission a time before that, both being replaced, and nobody ever checked the radiator. Or maybe Karma was puncturing it because my one reason for returning here passed away and I didn’t get to say goodbye to her. Every reason for me leaving I was returning to, except him. Everything within me was telling me to stay far, far away from this person who nearly killed me, convinced my parents to have a funeral, get my death certificate, and then have me pronounced dead. Why would someone do that? And I was pregnant. My parents were convinced I did drugs and basically wrote me off. My grandmother was the only human on this planet that listened and understood that I did not do drugs, nor did I ever plan on doing said drugs. Instead, he took me from my parents and then pushed me into solitude. Stolen by a monster who saw no punishment for his actions, removed from my friends, family, everything. Not to sound like a broken record, but once things continuously go wrong, you kind of accept that as the normal. Zack seemed to understand. They took care of me when I was near death again, and while that should send me into some panic attack, I felt safe with them. I felt safe with Zack. Kissing him was electrifying. I still smelled his clothes on me, and I loved every bit of his cedar-y scent. I wasn’t sure what it was, but I’d love to bathe in Zack. I know that sounds freaky, but sometimes, a girl just needs a man. And Zack, my friend, was a manly man! There to quench my thirst.

  I needed to get ready for the funeral. I don’t know why I was procrastinating.

  So, I made a list:

  -Take a shower

  -Wearing: black dress, black boots, black eyeliner, neutral makeup, and lipstick

  -Throw my hair into a bun

  -Write the Eulogy and prepare my last words for Gran.

  -Funeral, try not to die

  -Meet with Gran’s lawyer, Jerome, about Gran’s will and testament.

  -Walk to Zack’s see how the car is doing. *Wink

  Don’t judge me. I wanted to see how the car was doing, because that determined how many more miserable microseconds I’d be in Bradford, Arkansas. The longer I spent in this town, the more time he could find me. And no, he doesn’t deserve a name. I do not want to speak to him. I rebuke the devil and I rebuke him. He’s done enough damage.

  So, instead of focusing on the chapter of my life with him, I remembered the great things about my gran. The way she would wake up every morning, make breakfast, and go feed the animals outside. She would take long walks around the lake or go into the garden or greenhouse and water and prune her plants—all before seven in the morning. She was a child of the earth with a green thumb. Earth Goddess is how I addressed her when she was in her element. I was a water element, so like most cancers, I stayed near the water.

  I looked back on the photographs of Josh and me when we were growing up and things were so simple then. When I wasn’t dead. I can’t believe everyone gave up on me like that. I watched my funeral. They had it recorded. I cried at seeing how broken my family was. They nearly lost me. My mom almost lost me and my dad that year. And now we’re saying goodbye to gran. This will be hard.

  I had my bra, panties, and pantyhose on. Make-up is as good as it will get. And I threw my wet hair into a bun.

  I sat down to write the Eulogy for Gran. This is the one thing I never wanted to do–next to coming back to Bradford. Saying goodbye to Gran.

  So, I sat and focused and cried, and cried more. And took a deep breath, and I released it into my laptop.

  After I finished writing the Eulogy, I waited for my mother to come upstairs. I had everything ready for the funeral, and I was ready to cry all over again. I repeatedly read over the Eulogy and felt it was good enough. I knew when I read it, it would make me cry. I did not prepare for this. This was breaking my heart all over again.

  Thinking back on the memories of Gran, reliving every moment with her. She was the backbone of our family and she accomplished so much. Being compared to her is the biggest honor anyone could ask for. A hero in every right.

  Mom headed up the stairs and called for me to get ready. Apparently, I’d be riding with them since my car was in the shop. I put the dress and boots on, took my hair out of the bun, added mousse to keep the volume from frizzing, and brushed it out. It had a natural curl when wet, but always looked like a beach wave when dried.

  Double checking my makeup, I touched up with waterproof mascara and placed a few things I might need in my clutch. I’m glad I spent my birthday with Gran this year. She was supposed to come back up for my 30th birthday party. Man, I will miss her more than anything. I hit print on the printer and let the eulogy print out. I printed two copies, just in case.

  I headed downstairs, missing the path with my mother. She still hated me for everything I put them through. I can’t blame her, but she should have known me better than that. The stairs were wrapped around and were the most perfect design. There were photos of all the women and men who lived in this house over the last 100 years. Faces that I’ve known my entire life, some I barely met. Seeing the photograph of my grandparents when they were fresh in their 20s and I believe before they were married, I teared up. Gran was always strong with him. I whispered, “I miss you so much, Gran and Gramp.” I continued to walk down the stairs, not to be surprised when Mom looked at me like I burned the Thanksgiving turkey.

  I heard a knock on the door and headed to answer it. To my surprise, Zack was there with a dozen lilies. I could have died seeing his beautiful face. It looked like he trimmed his beard. He was wearing a tux and his eyes were bluer than ever.

  “You look amazing, Raelynn. I couldn’t let you go by yourself after seeing how everything was handled last night. Have you eaten?” He handed me a few donuts and a coffee.

  “I don’t eat when I’m sad, but I will gladly take this.”

  “How do you not eat when your sugar bottoms out so often?” He asked. Concern was written on his face. His eyebrows arched, and I saw his dimples where they usually were. He didn’t smile yet.

  “I ate enough to get me through to the luncheon, but thank you again.” I whispered. I didn’t want him to think I wasn’t grateful for what he did for me.

  “Why are we whispering?” He whispered back.

  “Because my mom thinks I’m a drug addict and doesn’t believe in any of my health conditions.”

  “That’s a conversation that we will have later.” He said sternly.

  “Are you ready to go, Rae?” He smiled. Man those dimples hit me in the right way. He extended out his hand. I accepted, and we headed to his truck. Opening my door, he gave me a hug. Before I knew it, I was snuggling into his chest, trying to hold back the sadness I knew was ready to take over me.

  It was time to head for the funeral home and pay our final respects.

  Raelynn

  Walking into the church was easier than I thought it would be. I recognized so many faces and the sadness in their faces and confusion of how I was there, when they were at my funeral 6 years ago. Life is hilarious sometimes. I said hello to those who addressed me, walked away from those who walked away from me. I shook hands, accepted condolences, and spoke with the preacher about the schedule. I only had to get up there once, and I came after the preacher. Zack stood by me the entire time, not letting me out of his sight. My little guard dog. My handsome, oversized guard dog.

  As everyone found their seats, Zack and I took the first row. My family sat behind us. I guess the ghosts of their pasts couldn’t be in the same row with them. The family had reservations for the first two rows on both sides. It’s been like that for generations. I tried my best not to cry. Zack squeezed my hands, which I'm guessing is some more code, because I squeezed twice, showing I was not okay, and he pulled me closer to him. I loved his scent. Cedarwood, vanilla, sage and I want to say, honey. All mixed into one scent, Zack turned my head towards his chest and I breathed him in.