“You had a busy morning. Any more impulse buys?”

  Jace’s gaze shifts to the side, shyly almost. “As a matter of fact, yes.” He rummages in his hoodie front pocket and takes out a small box. “I saw this in a shop window and thought of you.”

  I stare at the box, torn between elated and terrified.

  “What’s in it?”

  “Open it.”

  I open the box to reveal the most gorgeous antique band. White gold inlaid with a sophisticated floral design accentuated by tiny diamonds.

  I stare up at him, my heart beating in my chest at a thousand beats per minute.

  “Don’t worry.” Jace smirks. “I’m not proposing.”

  “You aren’t?”

  He shakes his head, taking the ring out of its case. “It’s a promise ring.”

  I frown. “What’s a promise ring?”

  Jace full-on smiles, making my heart drop to my stomach. “From what I gathered, it’s a way for dudes who aren’t ready to propose to gain a little extra time… or, like in this case, a way for me to give you something without completely scaring you off.”

  “Jace, I—”

  “Nuh-uh, shush, it’s my turn to talk.”

  He gently grabs my hand and slips the band on my ring finger. “I promise to wait for you for as long as it takes for you to be sure. And to love you, your four cats, six hens, and thousand rescue books for as long as my heart shall beat. I promise to love you even when you finish all the hot water in the shower and sing Taylor Swift at the top of your lungs for half an hour non-stop.”

  My heart melts a little with each new promise.

  “I promise to love you even when you kick me under the covers at night and hog all the blankets.”

  “That’s not true,” I protest. “I’m a very still sleeper. The cats would never let me kick around the bed.”

  “And that might be true when you’re sleeping with them, but when you sleep with me, it’s like you have to make up for all the nights of stillness. I could get motion sick for how much you thrash.”

  He’s looking at me with those big light-blue eyes and the heart-melting smile, and I know he’s not lying.

  Jace leans closer, his nose brushing against my cheek. “I promise to always be there when you need me and be strong when you’re vulnerable. I promise to never lie to you, to always tell you the truth, even when it hurts.”

  Jace trails light kisses along my cheek, making me shudder. I wish he would stop being so sweet and so serious. My head is spinning and I can hardly breathe, and it’s not just because he’s so close I can feel his heat against my skin.

  “I promise to keep on loving you every day, until my last breath, even when you get gray hair or when you lose your teeth, because you are the love of my life, Lola Archibald, and I will never stop loving you.”

  “Jace, I—” I croak, clearing my throat. I’m saying it, I’m going to tell him I love him. “I—”

  Bang. Bang. Bang.

  A loud pounding on the door makes me jolt on the bed.

  “Come on, lovebirds,” Aiden’s brother yells from the other side of the door. “We’re leaving for lunch in fifteen minutes.”

  “Ouch,” Jace says, kissing my nose. “Guess you’ll have to cut your shower short today, babe.”

  I whack his beautiful face with a pillow. “You’re the worst.”

  And I love you, I add in my head.

  I’ll say it to him out loud… soon…

  28

  LORI

  I wait until Tuesday evening to knock on Aiden’s door. Jace left early since he sees patients in the morning on Tuesdays while both Aiden and I receive them in the afternoon. I finished my consultations a while ago, and even if it’s been a long day, I stayed back, leaving my door open to keep track of the comings and goings of our practice.

  Even if I checked the time of Aiden’s last appointment—Mrs. Davenport at five thirty—with our receptionist, I wanted to make sure he wouldn’t leave before I could talk to him.

  So the moment I spotted Mrs. Davenport cross the hall, I dashed out of my office to knock on his door, barely leaving Aiden time to drop his white coat.

  Now, as his calm voice utters a polite, “Come in,” from the other side, I nervously enter.

  Aiden is at his desk, white coat still on, typing on his keyboard. When I get in, he looks away from the screen and greets me with a big open smile—one that used to cause all kinds of flutters in my belly. Only lately, it seems I’m more into crooked grins.

  “Lori,” he says. “What’s up?”

  “Do you have a moment? I need advice.”

  “For you, always. Do you need help with a patient or…” he trails off.

  “No, Dr. House, my patients are fine. It’s personal.” The irony of going to Aiden for advice on how to navigate my relationship with Jace is not lost on me…

  “The juicy stuff, then.” Aiden playfully waggles his eyebrows. “Let me finish writing this note in Mrs. Davenport’s file and I’m all yours.”

  Five minutes later, Aiden swivels in his chair to face me, giving me his undivided attention. “Spill the beans, Dr. Archibald, I’m all ears.”

  I hesitate only for a second before asking, “How did you know Kirsten was the one?”

  Aiden low-whistles. “I suppose we’re really talking about you and Jace?”

  I nod because, at this point, I’m pretty sure I love Jace. But with him, I don’t have the chance to explore things and see how the relationship would go. The kind of all-in commitment he’s asking of me is comparable only to taking wedding vows, and the only person I’m close to who’s about to do just that is Aiden. Hence why I’m sitting in his office having the most awkward conversation of my life.

  “Any particular reason you’re asking how to recognize The One?” Aiden smirks. “Do you want to propose or something?”

  “No, no,” I say. More I can’t keep my hands off my best friend any longer without risking auto-combustion every five seconds, but I also don’t want to mistake lust for love and ruin something with the potential to be my forever. How do I explain that to Aiden?

  He keeps staring at me questioningly.

  I need to share the truth, or at least part of it.

  “Okay, I might need to make a small confession.”

  Aiden chuckles. “You mean another one? Hit me.”

  Blushing tomato red head to toe, I say, “I might’ve slightly overplayed how… sexually active my relationship with Jace is…”

  Aiden frowns uncomprehendingly.

  So I continue, “You know…”

  He shakes his head. “I actually don’t.”

  Turning even more crimson, I blurt, “We haven’t done it yet.”

  Aiden’s eyes widen. “So the knocking boots morning, day, and night…”

  “Never happened. We only kissed.”

  “Okay.” Aiden seems to digest this development and not be exactly displeased by it. “Why? How did you get Jace to be with you for two months without sex?”

  Because in reality, it’s been only a few weeks and he’s had years of practice. Of course, I can’t say any of that, so I go with another partial truth. “Actually, he’s the one who wanted to wait.”

  “He did?”

  “Yeah. Before we do anything, he wants me to be sure he’s The One! He said we can’t risk our friendship for anything less.”

  Aiden’s grin turns foxy. “Is the only reason you came in here today that you want to…” He waggles his eyebrows again.

  I grab a medication flyer, crumple it into a ball, and throw it at him. “Don’t be a jerk.”

  Aiden dives left to avoid the projectile. “Okay, okay, Lori, no need to resort to violence. I guess I’m just not used to you coming to me for love advice.”

  No, because I always went to Jace for my love advice, mostly about you.

  “Please be serious. How do I know for sure?”

  “Sorry, Lori, the skies won’t open to send you a missive stating you’ve found your soulmate.”

  “Sucks.” I pout. “How did you know with Kirsten? How did you go from I love you, to I’m in love with you, to I want to spend the rest of my life with you?” And if a month ago hearing the answers to these questions would’ve killed me, now I’m just eager to get an insight.

  “The more we dated, the more Kirsten became a priority for me. I started rearranging, re-prioritizing, and reimagining my life around her.”

  Despite myself, I snort, “Yeah, we noticed the dropout from our usual hangouts.”

  “Come on, guys, we still hang. Just less. That’s what happens when you’re in a good relationship, and it never feels like a sacrifice.”

  Okay, I’m definitely spending more time with Jace and reimagining my life around him. I’m even vacuuming my house regularly. Check.

  “Then there’s the attraction,” Aiden continues. “Only, it’s more like a craving, a physical, inescapable need. It’s a constant yearning at the back of your mind and that feeling almost like a rush when you think of them.”

  Check and check.

  “That can happen with any new relationship.” Aiden ponders for a moment. “You know you’re really in trouble when you start to even find their quirks attractive. Like if you ever thought Jace’s neat-freak tendencies were cute, I’d say you’re toast.”

  I blush. I believe I said adorable, even so, check.

  “And last but not least.” Aiden pins me with a stare. “You want to say those big three words. Like, they want out, and you can hardly keep them to yourself anymore.”

  Check.

  In New Orleans, I almost blurted it out at random a thousand times.

  Aiden shrugs. “But I guess you know when it just feels right.”

  It does. It so does.

  Last check.

  “That sound like what you have with Jace?”

  I swallow and give him a tiny nod.

  Aiden sags back in his chair. “Then I guess you have your answer.”

  We share a loaded stare. Once again, I’m not exactly sure what’s crossing his mind.

  “Can I ask you something?” he says.

  Guess I’m about to find out.

  I nod again.

  “It’s about a night ages ago,” Aiden starts.

  Instinctively, I know at once what night he’s talking about. The night of Never Have I Ever. Still, I play dumb. “Oh, which one?”

  “We were at some stupid house party near campus…” he continues, and I’ve never been more glad I’m not sitting near a polygraph machine.

  I shrug. “We’ve been to a million house parties in college.”

  “That night we were playing Never Have I Ever.”

  Yep, he’s talking about the night!

  “I can’t remember who said never have I ever been in love with my best friend.”

  Tracy Dillon, I want to say, it was Tracy Dillon. I can remember every second of that night because I’ve replayed the DVD a million times in my head.

  “So?” I just brought “playing dumb” to the next level.

  “You took a shot,” Aiden says, and the world stops for a minute.

  I look at him, unable to speak. How many times have I imagined him asking me exactly this question? I legit thought he’d forgotten about that night the following day after listening to my rambled excuses. But if he’s bringing it up now, it means the game must’ve stuck at the back of his mind all this time, too. Why? And what’s the point of asking me now?

  Since I’m not giving him anything, Aiden goes on, “The next morning I came to your room to ask you about it, but you said you couldn’t remember anything of the night before… But was the shot about Jace? Even that long ago?”

  Our eyes lock, a million unspoken words passing between us. As I stare into his gentle blue eyes, an entire other life passes before me. A life in which neither of us had chickened out that morning. A life in which we’d be together.

  No, the shot wasn’t about Jace back then. I suspect we both know it. But it would be now. And no good would come out of admitting the truth, so what’s the point? There’s no reason to dig up old, unexpressed feelings between Aiden and me. We’ve left the topic buried for fifteen years and now it has actually, inexorably died in its tomb.

  I look Aiden straight in the eyes. “Yes, it’s always been about Jace.”

  Aiden nods, accepting the lie. “Well, I guess all is well what ends well. You know, I suspect he’s had a thing for you forever as well. But I got the impression that somehow he was convinced you were more into me. I bet that if he knew, he would’ve dropped the pact a lot sooner.”

  I’m nodding my head along happily, basking in the glory of Jace’s undying love for me until the last part of Aiden’s speech sinks in and the lovebirds’ singing comes to a screeching halt, like a broken disk.

  “What pact?” I ask.

  Aiden blinks, with a deer-in-headlights look on his face, repeating, “What pact?”

  Yeah, nice try, buddy. “You just said if Jace had known about my feelings for him, he would’ve dropped the pact a lot sooner. What. Pact?”

  “You must’ve heard me wrong.”

  “Nu-uh, my eardrums are in perfect shape, Dr. Collymore. Out with it!”

  Aiden shifts uncomfortably in his chair and then he starts talking…

  29

  JACE

  At home, I’ve just gotten out of the shower and I’m in my room, pulling up a pair of boxers and sweatpants getting ready to commute to Lori’s house, when my phone pings on the bed with a message from Aiden:

  From Aiden:

  Man, I screwed up

  Multiple scenarios play in my head.

  Did he cheat on Kirsten after we left the bar on Saturday? Nah, that doesn’t seem like Aiden.

  Is he having cold feet and said something stupid? Could be… for all his good qualities. Sometimes Aiden speaks before he thinks.

  But the next message clarifies the screw-up has nothing to do with him or his upcoming nuptials.

  From Aiden:

  I accidentally let it slip with Lori about the pact

  I don’t need to ask what pact.

  The next text arrives just as an incessant pounding starts at my door.

  From Aiden:

  Just a heads up, she might be coming your way, fuming

  Yeah, no kidding!

  I pull on a white T-shirt and brace myself as I go open the door.

  “Tell me it isn’t true.” Lori storms into the apartment, eyes blazing, hair wild. She wheels on me, gesticulating like a mad person. “Tell me you’re not single-handedly responsible for the last fifteen years of heartbreak and misery.”

  I sigh. “I’m not responsible. If Aiden really wanted to get with you, he would have. Pact or no pact.”

  “So you’re not even trying to deny it.”

  “What? That Aiden and I made a stupid pact freshman year and never spoke about it for another fifteen years?” Barring the last time Aiden brought it up two weeks ago.

  “Don’t give me that.” I hate to see how Lori’s lower lip trembles. Loathe it. Despise myself for being what caused the hurt. “You knew Aiden would take a promise like that seriously and stick to it, no matter what. All the times I thought something might happen between us, and he pulled back at the last minute as if he’d suddenly remembered he wasn’t supposed to be romantic with me. It drove me insane. I could never understand it. And when I spoke about it to you, you just stood there and said nothing! Not once. Did you have fun? Did you enjoy watching me cry?”

  Heat rises on my neck all the way to my ears. “You think I had fun? I was in love with you, Lori, and all you ever wanted to talk about was how much you loved Aiden.”

  “And you just stood there, knowing you were the only thing keeping us apart. What kind of love is yours? The selfish”—now she makes a ridiculous dude voice—“‘I’ll have her or no one else will’ kind?”

  “Do you really think that if at one point, Aiden had fallen in love with you, a stupid pact would’ve stopped him from coming onto you?”

  “Well, you made darn sure that possibility never even crossed his mind. Or that if it did, he’d think twice before acting on it. Take the option off the table. Why? Why would you’ve done such a cruel thing to me?”

  “Because seeing you two together would’ve killed me,” I shout.

  Lori jumps, taking a step backward, and I try to calm down.

  I take a step toward her, putting my hands forward, signaling I mean no harm. “Lori, I’m sorry. I know what I did was selfish but—”

  “No buts.” Lori points a finger at me. “Don’t think you can stand there looking all sexy with your damp hair and sweatpants and mollycoddle me into forgiving you. If you were so into me you thought you might die if I got with Aiden, you could’ve done a million other things—”

  “What things?” I snap.

  “Tell me how you felt, for starters. Let me choose who I wanted to be with.”

  “You would’ve chosen him.”

  Lori stares at me without speaking. Without denying it.

  Her silence slices into my heart like a knife.

  I chuckle bitterly. “At least I guess we have our answer now. For you, it’s always been him, it’s still him, it’ll always be about Aiden.”

  “No,” she says in a whisper. “This hurts so much because it is about you. The person I trusted for years with my innermost secrets, the person I was about to trust with my heart. But now… how can I? Knowing what you did? Knowing how cold and calculating you can be?”

  “So this is over?” I point between us.

  “No,” she says, only ice and steel in her voice. “It never even started.”

  Lori grabs her purse and walks past me, not sparing me a second glance. The door slams shut five seconds later, and I know she’s gone. I’ve lost her.

  Two full glasses of vodka later, a soft knock on my door makes me jolt. I disregard the sound, it must be the alcohol that’s making me hallucinate my hopes coming true. Lori coming back to forgive me, for her to tell me she can’t be without me and that the past is in the past.