“Strap the sofa cushions to a tree and then whale on them,” Kyle said. “We have plenty of rope. My eye will be fine, with or without the ice, but I’ll leave it on to keep the bruising down.”

  Chapter 30

  Marcus drove up to the barn and saw Heather in the ring on Phantom. She wasn’t riding him so much as performing with him, like a perfectly choreographed act. Phantom jumped and sidestepped and ran, and even appeared to do a two-step. The two appeared as liquid motion, moving as one unit.

  Scout met him at the car, and Marcus took a few minutes to say hello to him before making his way to Heather.

  Jonah came out of one of the buildings and fell into step beside him while Scout ran back into the barns, probably to oversee another of the humans on the property.

  Both men were silent as they watched Heather on Phantom, and Marcus was enthralled. Phantom was a huge horse, and Heather’s eighty-five pounds on him made her look like more of a kid than ever, except for the way she handled him — horse and rider moving in perfect sync. Together.

  Marcus finally broke the silence to say, “I don’t know much about how that’s supposed to look, but it’s beautiful. Is it normal for a horse and rider to be so mesmerizing, so magnificent?”

  “Nothing normal about Phantom or Heather. One of a kind, the both of them. Not much I wouldn’t do for Heather. When I saw her wrists, I was ready to find you and kick your ass, but she told me what happened, so I’ve decided to hear your side of the story before I pummel you into the ground.”

  Marcus sighed. “I’d almost feel better if someone did whale on me for it.” He shook his head. “She’d handled everything so beautifully, I jumped a step with bondage. She’d been fine with spreader bars, wrists and ankles, bound below an overhead beam without even a blip of an issue, so I put her on the cross and immobilized her, which is essentially the same position, and then started out with hard strokes from an intense flogger.”

  He rubbed his face and then dropped his hands. “With Heather’s permission, I had a conversation with her mom yesterday. They did the whole gamut of sensory processing stimulation when she was a child. Attachment stuff, too. She freaked when they attempted the rebirthing and the blanket-burrito type exercises. If I’d known, I’d have gone a different route with the bondage. Going forward, I’ll need her hands out of the way for most kinds of impact play, and I’ll have to figure out how to keep her mostly still for whip work, but I won’t completely immobilize her again.”

  Marcus was pretty sure Heather was so focused on her horse, she had no idea Marcus had arrived.

  “I asked around about you,” Jonah said, “Heard a story about you walking away from a SAM trying to top from the bottom.”

  “I’ve released a SAM mid-scene more than once. Hasn’t happened in a while because the word is out I don’t put up with that shit. Do you have a point?”

  “You sure you’re willing to take on a Dominant masochist? From what I hear about you, you’re pretty strict with your slaves — also, that you prefer a slave, rather than a mere submissive. Heather is neither.”

  “Trust me, I’m well aware of what Heather is and is not. I appreciate that you care enough about her to drill me, but I’m not sure how much she’s going to want me to talk to you.”

  “Tell me your intentions. I don’t need the gritty details.”

  “Kyle is my best friend. We’ve shared before, though she was a switch. I’ve grown to care a great deal for Heather, but…” he stopped watching Heather and turned to face the other man. “You’re correct that I’ll need a slave in my life. Heather and Kyle are both fully aware. Everyone in our little poly group understands that we’re a threesome in search of our fourth.”

  Jonah moved his right foot from the lower fence rung to the ground, shifted his weight, and placed his left foot on the lower rung. He looked at Heather as he talked, speaking slow, thinking as he talked. “And you’ll choose a slave who’ll be submissive to you and Heather? I can see how that might work, with you and Heather both being dominant.”

  “Until I meet her, I can’t answer the specifics of exactly how it’ll work, but anyone I choose will have to be turned on by being the lowest in our power structure. She’ll be a twenty-four-seven slave to me, and Kyle is mostly only submissive where sex is concerned.” And most meals, but Jonah didn’t need to know all their secrets.

  Jonah nodded. “I don’t want to see her wrists or ankles abraded and bruised like that again. You and I will have more than words if I see signs of negligence or abuse, ever again. Bruises and welts and such are to be expected to a certain degree. I’m not going to be unreasonable, but I want to make it clear she’s got someone watching out for her.”

  “I appreciate that. Did you give this talk to Kyle when he’s been out, working on the wall?”

  “Nope. He’s submissive to her, so he isn’t the one who tied her to a cross. Plus, with that shiner he’s got, I didn’t have it in me to threaten him with a matching one.”

  Marcus eyed him and then looked back at Heather riding Phantom, “I hope you’re not equating submissive with weak. Kyle might be more likely to kick your ass than me.”

  “Not saying he’s weak or you’re strong. Just saying he’s not the one who’ll be pushing her limits. He just wants to please her, not push her.”

  Heather rode towards them with a smile, and Marcus took the opportunity to change the subject.

  “You and Phantom are magnificent. Are you about done, or do you need to spend more time with him?”

  “We’re done. Jonah hasn’t been threatening you, has he?”

  “Just a friendly conversation. How did Kyle do this morning on the wall?”

  She grimaced. “My panic attack has given me more sympathy for what he’s going through. Do we really have to keep doing this?”

  “Kyle is doing it because he wants to push himself. We’re just here as a support system, as long as he wants to try.”

  “I think maybe we need you here for his next attempt,” she said with a sigh. “Looks like you came in a bathing suit, so head to the pool and I’ll meet you there in about ten minutes. Jonah’s hired a high school kid who’s grooming the horses and mucking the stalls out in exchange for boarding her horse here and a few riding lessons. Phantom’s pretty happy with her, so I’ll give him some treats and then let her rub him down, clean the tack, and put it away.”

  “Don’t rush with Phantom on my account. Take whatever time you need with him.”

  Her smile told him she was glad he understood, and she turned Phantom away and headed towards the stables. Marcus watched them a second before stepping away from the fence and heading towards the pathway that led to the pool.

  “You didn’t tell her I’d threatened you. Why not?”

  Marcus stopped and turned back to the other man. “She’s smart; she has a good idea of what was said. My words were meant to tell her everything’s okay and there’s nothing she needs to worry about. She cares for both of us — no need in causing her worry about us not getting along with each other.”

  Jonah nodded. “I have someone coming for dinner this evening. I’ve already invited Heather; if you’re still around you’re more than welcome to stay for dinner as well. Fair warning that he’s more than a friend. Your decision if you want to stay.”

  “Thank you for the invitation. Heather and I hadn’t made plans for dinner other than to agree we’ll be eating together while Kyle works late. Unless she has something else in mind, I’d love to stay and have dinner with you and your... date? sub?”

  Jonah smiled. “Billy is more of a boy, actually. Not age wise, because he’s twenty-six, but in lifestyle terminology, boy fits him better than submissive or slave.”

  “I got the idea you mostly just scene, and don’t do a lot of socializing with your... errr.... boys. Is this serious?”

  “That’s mostly true. Billy belongs to a friend of mine who’s out of town. His master has given me permission to use him tonight and tomorrow morning, as long as he makes it to work on time tomorrow with at least a few hours of sleep, and as long as I feed him two nutritious meals.”

  Marcus smiled. “My cleaning woman belongs to a friend of mine. I’m allowed to use a flogger and a quarter inch rattan cane for jobs that don’t meet specifications, and her mouth and ass are available to me at any time. It’s a good arrangement.”

  “Do you pay her?”

  “I pay her what a housecleaning service quoted me, which is substantial. The money goes into her account, not her Master’s account, though I understand she has restrictions involving what he allows her to buy with her money.”

  “It seems we have a lot in common.” He gave Marcus a friendly smile. “I’d like to allow Billy formal speech during dinner, and it sounds like you’ll understand why. He misses his master, and the more time I can give him in the right headspace, the better for him. His rules are that he has to use respect for anyone introduced to him as a Dom. I don’t have to introduce you and Heather as Tops, but...”

  He paused, so Marcus answered the unasked question. “I’m fine with him using formal language during dinner, and I understand that introducing Heather and I as part of the scene will put him at ease. I’ll talk to Heather about it, explain it to her, so she won’t be blindsided.”

  Marcus needed to say more, and this seemed like the time to do it. “Stop worrying that we’re going to take offense at your lifestyle. You’re gay and you’re a Dom. I get it, and I’m not going to come at you with fists flying if you remind me of it at the wrong moment. I’ve played around some, and decided I’m more attracted to women than I am men, but I’m not going to be disgusted at the idea of you with a guy. If something bothers me, I’ll let you know with words.”

  Jonah looked at him a moment and held his hand out. Marcus offered his as well, they shook, and Jonah said, “Thanks for that.”

  Marcus nodded and headed towards the pool, saying, “I’ll see you later,” as he walked away.

  Chapter 31

  Heather rounded the corner and took a running dive into the deep end of the pool, slicing her body through the cool water, opening her eyes underwater to look for Marcus, who’d been hanging out in the shallow end, and she flew up into the air in front of him. He reached for her, pulled her to him, kissed her forehead, then her cheek, and then zeroed in on her mouth.

  She relaxed into him, one hand on the side of the pool and the other on his shoulder. She was still overheated from riding Phantom, and the cool water felt good.

  But then the kiss heated up, and she forgot everything except Marcus’s arms, his lips, his body pressed against hers.

  Just as she was about to end the kiss, Marcus moved his mouth to caress her cheek with his lips, and then just held her.

  She couldn’t stay still long, though, so she kissed his chest, pushed away, swam to the ladder, and climbed out. She walked to the diving board and ran to the end, both feet landing hard on the end with a big bounce. Her petite form flew into the air in a tight tuck and flipped over once and then another half time, and she opened her body in time to slice into the deep end in a dive. She swam underwater to the shallow end, came up for a breath, and went back under with her chin up first, so her hair would fall backwards away from her face. Marcus had stayed in place while she was active, but now he moved out to the center of the pool, treading water since he was halfway to the deep end.

  “Is there anything you aren’t good at?”

  “Yeah, normal sex. I thought we’d already covered that.”

  He gave her an annoyed look. “You know what I mean. You hang-glide, you run trails most people have problems hiking, you scale up the side of cliffs, you fly planes and helicopters, you kayak on world class courses, and now I discover you also have skills on the diving board.”

  “It’s all part of the same thing. I’ve had so many martial arts courses and gymnastics classes and...” She shrugged. “We’ve already established I need lots of sensory input. Right? The things I’ve done for stimulation have taught me how to move my body in ways most people just don’t learn. Speaking of which, what did you learn from my mom? She left me a voice mail earlier, but I was waiting to call her back after I talked with you.”

  “There’s an exercise to help with sensory issues that involves wrapping the child up in a blanket, like a big burrito, with only their head sticking out. Some kids like the compression; it’s sensory input that works for them. Other kids absolutely do not, and when that’s the case, some therapists feel they need to do it until the kid is okay with it. Your mother only let them do it to you one time, and she was so upset by your reaction that she went to the library and searched through the periodicals to learn more about the process. She learned that not all experts agree with using it when a child is traumatized by it, and she didn’t let them do it again. Good for her, and I told her so. I may get annoyed with parents who research and question what I’m doing, but I always appreciate the effort. In this case, she was exactly right.”

  Heather needed a moment away from him, so she stood and walked up the concrete steps towards the small storage house. She walked in, then back into the sunshine with half a dozen pool noodles. She tossed all but two into the water, and made her way down the steps with the other two. “Keep going, I can tell there’s more.”

  He opened his mouth to say something, closed it, and flexed his jaw in annoyance. He kicked his way to the shallow end and reached for a pool noodle,

  Marcus wrapped a single noodle around his shoulders, the ends coming up under his armpits, and leaned back as if sitting in a chair. “I asked her if she had any reason to believe you’d been restrained in the orphanage. She said she didn’t have proof, and that she saw no evidence of that when she was there, but that your wrists were rough, like rope had been around them for long periods of time, and it took months of moisturizing them to get them to smooth out.”

  Heather waited for him to say something else, but realized he was giving her time to process it. Also, that he would probably wait for her to respond before he spoke again.

  “This is the part where you want to know how that makes me feel. But all I want to do is ask you how it’s supposed to make me feel.”

  “Knowing you, you’re looking forward instead of backward, so you’re trying to figure out if this information will help you deal with it next time, or if it’ll make it harder to deal with it.”

  “I didn’t figure you’d restrain me again.”

  “At some point in the future, you’ll want to overcome it. It might be six months out, or two years, but I know you well enough to know it’s going to bug you, and it’ll keep bugging you until you can get past it. Whether that happens or not, though, there are other things we can do to give the same effect I was going for, and we’ll begin doing that soon.”

  “What kind of things?”

  “You’re used to your torso being in ropes and harnesses when you climb, hang-glide, and parachute. Also, I restrained you in the mountains with your arms over your head with a spreader bar between, another spreader bar between your ankles, plus you were blindfolded. It was the same basic X position, and you didn’t freak, so there might be something about the cross, or possibly the forward-leaning stance. Most likely, it was your body being completely immobilized while your limbs were restrained. So, we’ll see how it goes if I only restrain your hips. Your arms will be free, and you’ll be able to release your hips if you wish, but you won’t.”

  Heather considered how she felt about trying it again from every direction before she told him, “I don’t think I want to be bound again.”

  Without hesitating, he said, “Okay, then we won’t. I blew it in the trust department. I’ve got to earn your trust again. If you change your mind, let me know. If you don’t, we’ll work around the safety issues.”

  “You didn’t do anything. I freaked. You couldn’t have known I’d go apeshit on you.”

  “I’m the Dom; I’m the one in charge. You got hurt, so I’m the one responsible. It wasn’t intentional, but that doesn’t make it okay. To be honest, I’d have probably felt better if Jonah had taken a swing at me.”

  “Bullshit, Marcus. You don’t need absolution. You took all the safety precautions, even had the quick release knots and hardware so you could release me right away. I still can’t believe I knocked Kyle down like that, though. I’m responsible for hurting him, and he’s been so damned okay about it.”

  “Of course he’s okay — he’s your submissive, and he knows you didn’t know what you were doing when it happened. You went into fight or flight mode, and you fought to get away so you could flee. Simple as that.”

  She shook her head. She wanted to be finished with the conversation, but she knew Marcus wasn’t going to let her change the subject yet. “So am I supposed to be pissed that the whole orphan thing has reared its head again? Pissed that I thought there were no more motherfucking issues to work through, and suddenly another one has been thrown in my face?”

  “If that’s the way you feel then that would be a completely valid reaction.”

  She sighed, deflated. “Honestly, I’m not sure I have it in me to be pissed. There’s no one to be pissed at, nothing to vent towards. I could be mad at my biological family for putting me in that place, but I don’t know their circumstances, so that isn’t logical. I could be mad at the person who tied me down, but I’ll never find them, so that’s not constructive. I guess I’m mostly frustrated that this has reared its head and there’s something else to deal with, but what’s done is done. Right?”

  “Feelings aren’t logical. You don’t throw a feeling away for not being constructive.”

  She gave him a sad, ironic sort of half-smile. “Sure you do. I’m in control of my own happiness. I get to decide if I’m happy or sad. There are times when I must deal with something that makes me sad, whether I want to or not, but in general, my happiness is my responsibility. If I identify a feeling as being a danger to my happiness, I can certainly label it destructive and decide to toss it, if I want.”