A wave of sadness washed over him as he read those words. Josie had accused him of stifling the pain of losing Kelly so much that he was losing the memories. Losing the memories meant losing the stories for Lily. He didn’t want Kelly to be merely a fleeting memory and yet he also knew there came a time when he would have to move on.

  Would he want Josie beside him then?

  He turned back to the passage. “But from everlasting to everlasting the Lord’s love is with those who fear Him, and His righteousness with their children’s children—with those who keep His covenant and remember to obey His precepts.”

  He set the Bible aside and stared off into the middle distance, the words he had just read resonating through his mind.

  God’s love was faithful, enduring and eternal. Like a father’s love for his children and as high as the Heavens above the earth. Kelly had reminded him of that with her last few breaths. Josie had reminded him just the other day.

  Josie had also told him that the potential for grief was a price worth paying.

  Deep in his heart, he knew it to be true. But was he ready to open himself up to it?

  “We are in trouble.” Lily glanced over at Ms. Josie, then back at her friend. The two girls had scooted off into a corner of the classroom behind the bulletin board that Ms. Josie used to separate the class area from the play area to discuss the latest wrinkle in their plan. “My daddy was really quiet yesterday and when I asked him what was wrong, he said nothing. And he looked a bit mad.”

  Alyssa spun her hair around her finger and pulled her lower lip between her teeth. “Auntie Josie was kinda sad yesterday and I don’t know why. And she told me that we’re probably moving in a couple of weeks.”

  Lily pulled her knees up to her chest and held her one hand up. “We gave your aunt a picture of my dad and my dad has a picture of your aunt. We got them together for dinner.” She ticked each of these off on her fingers. “Then we got them together for a wiener roast. And then we prayed.” She looked with dismay at her hand with all the fingers up. “What else can we do?”

  “I’m scared,” Alyssa said, hugging her legs. “I don’t want to move away to Ohio, but Auntie Josie’s friend keeps calling her and saying how excited she is we’re coming.”

  Lily puffed up her cheeks and released her breath. “I have one more idea, but I don’t know if it will work.”

  “What’s that?”

  Lily leaned closer to her friend. “I took my dad’s jacket to school today. I thought we could bring it to your house. Then you can phone my dad and tell him that he left his coat at the Old Town Hall and that it’s at your place.”

  “Didn’t he see the coat in your backpack?”

  “Nope. I always make my own lunch and pack my own backpack.”

  “When do I phone him?”

  “Tonight. At about six.”

  “Will he be there on time?”

  “My dad is always on time,” Lily said.

  “Auntie Josie said we were going to be gone, but I’ll try to make sure we’re back on time.” Alyssa gave her friend a feeble smile.

  A shiver trickled down Lily’s back. “Do you think this will work?”

  “It has to,” Alyssa said. Then she sat up, looking scared. “Should we have prayed about it? Do you think God is mad at us for bothering Him with this?”

  “Didn’t you tell me that we should tell God everything? Didn’t you tell me that He loves us like a dad?”

  Alyssa nodded.

  “Well, then I think we should have prayed. Because this is important. I know my daddy was happy and that he was smiling the last few weeks. And he hasn’t done that in a long time.”

  Lily heard the sound of footsteps and then Ms. Josie was standing over top of them.

  “What are you two scheming back here?”

  She said it like it was supposed to be a joke, but Ms. Josie wasn’t smiling. Actually, Ms. Josie hadn’t smiled much since her dad stopped working on the Old Town Hall.

  “We’re just talking,” Alyssa said quickly. “Friend talk.”

  Ms. Josie squatted down. “That’s good talk to have.” Then she stroked Alyssa’s hair and tucked a piece behind her ear.

  Lily was suddenly jealous of her friend, and even more determined to bring her daddy and Ms. Josie together.

  Ms. Josie turned to Lily and then, to Lily’s surprise, she stroked her hair, too.

  Her heart got big in her chest and she thought maybe she was going to be like a little sissy and start crying. But she wasn’t going to cry.

  And she knew she wasn’t going to give up. She wanted Ms. Josie for a mother more than anything she had wanted since her mother died.

  She gave Alyssa a secret look and carefully pointed to her backpack. Alyssa nodded. Hopefully she knew exactly what Lily meant.

  “Are you sure it’s my jacket?” Silas planted one hand on his hip as he held the handset of the phone with the other, wondering why Alyssa was the one to make the call and not Josie. “I don’t remember taking it along.”

  “My aunt said it was yours.” Alyssa Cane sounded a bit breathless, like she’d been running. “She found it just a couple of days ago.”

  Silas remembered missing his jacket a couple of days ago. Maybe he left it at the Old Town Hall the last time he’d gone there, a week ago.

  When he’d kissed Josie again.

  He’d gone over that kiss so many times, veering from thinking he shouldn’t have done it to the reality of how right it felt. He was so sure Josie returned his feelings.

  But he knew he shouldn’t expect that she would call him or try to contact him. In the course of trying to protect himself, he’d sent out a stream of mixed messages the last time he’d seen her. Kissing her. Then making her think that he still harbored feelings for his wife.

  “Could you come tonight?” Alyssa was asking. “At seven o’clock?”

  Silas frowned, the faint niggle of a premonition sifting through the conversation. However, the thought of seeing Josie again, or explaining himself to her, pushed aside any second thought he might have.

  “My aunt and I will be gone,” Alyssa said. “In case that’s a problem. But I’ll leave it with Gramma.”

  Diasappointment slithered through him. Guess he wouldn’t have a chance to talk to her. “Sure, I’ll be there.”

  “At seven o’clock,” Alyssa reminded him.

  “On the dot.” Silas said a puzzled goodbye then ended the phone call just as Lily came into the kitchen.

  “What was that about?” she asked in a very adult voice as she dropped onto a kitchen chair.

  “My jacket is at Ms. Cane’s place. I’m picking it up.” He leveled a piercing look at his daughter, wondering if she and Alyssa were up to something, but she gave him a careful smile and nodded. “Can I stay home or do you want me to come with you?”

  “I’m not comfortable with leaving you here by yourself.”

  “I’m a big girl, Daddy.”

  She sounded so confident, so sure of herself, he felt a pang of yearning. She was growing up. But she wasn’t that big yet. Not big enough to be left here, all alone. He felt again the weight of responsibility. Then he smiled and held his hand out to her. “We’ll go together,” he said, his voice firm.

  The drive to town was quiet. Lily stared out the window, humming to herself.

  Silas kept his eyes on the darkening road as the sun hovered at the horizon. In a month the sun would be gone this time of the evening.

  And so the seasons slip by, he thought with a touch of melancholy.

  It had now been more than two years since Kelly had died. Two years since he wondered how he was going to carry on. But he had. Day by day, week by week. His work on the ranch and taking care of Lily had kept him occupied and slowly he had found a new rhythm.

  Now, thanks to Josie, he had found a new way to handle the grief of his wife’s death. And, thanks to Josie, he had found a new purpose to his life.

  He clutched the steering wheel, willing the emotions away. He was doing the right thing, keeping his heart whole and safe. Word about town was that Josie was leaving. The thought sent a wave of panic through him, followed by the firm resolve that he had done the right thing in staying away from her. Lily needed a father who was here for her, not yearning after a woman who was leaving.

  But what if he told her how he felt? Would that change anything?

  Did he dare?

  Silas felt the wavering of indecision and then, as he imagined his life without Josie in it, he knew he had to at least try. He pulled up to the cabin ten minutes early. His heart thudded in his chest when he saw Josie’s car. Here was his chance.

  “Just wait in the truck, honey,” he said to Lily. “I’ll be right back.” He pulled open the door and hoped he could face Josie if she was there.

  As he walked up the steps he saw someone walking past the window. He peered through the window of the door and frowned.

  Josie’s grandmother? Walking around the kitchen?

  He knocked on the door to warn her and then opened it.

  Betty Carter whirled around, a knife in one hand, a jar of peanut butter in the other hand and a guilty look on her face.

  “What are you doing here?” she snapped.

  “I’ve come for my coat,” Silas said, glancing from her to the wheelchair situated just inside the doorway between the kitchen and the living room. He frowned. “I thought you couldn’t walk?”

  Betty looked quickly away, clutching the edge of the counter. “Sometimes I can.” She swayed and Silas was just about to catch her when he caught her glancing at him over her shoulder, as if to make sure he had seen.

  He stopped. “You can walk just fine, can’t you?”

  Betty lowered her knife and turned to face him. “What business is that of yours?”

  Silas held her gaze. “Why are you pretending? Do you know how much Josie worries about you?”

  Betty let go an unladylike snort. “That girl doesn’t care about me at all. Never did. She always went her own way. Did her own thing. Always was selfish.”

  A surprising anger washed over him. “How can you say that about her?” he retorted. “Josie genuinely cares about you and has helped more people in this town than you could ever know about.” Silas’s anger grew as he thought of the doctor’s appointments Josie had arranged, the concern she had repeatedly expressed over her grandmother’s failure to walk. “And this is how you repay her? By pretending to be sicker than you really are? By pretending you can’t walk?”

  Betty looked away, her mouth pressed in mutinous lines. “You don’t know what I’ve had to put up with. That girl has been trouble from the day she was born. And after all I did for her, she’s moving away.” Betty gave him a narrowed look. “You be careful around her. That girl is trouble. She’s nothing like your dead wife.”

  Through his growing anger Silas heard one word.

  Silas’s hands clenched at his side as he fought down his temper. How could Betty have deceived Josie? How did she dare hide behind her injury just to protect her feelings? How weak. How selfish.

  But as he glared at Betty, the angry words echoed in his mind. Then shame crept in behind his own anger.

  Hadn’t he just done the same thing to Josie?

  Hadn’t he just hidden behind his grieving for Kelly to keep himself from Josie? From the potential of pain?

  He was no better than Josie’s grandmother.

  “Why are you so hard on her?” he asked, struggling to still his anger and his shame at his own deception of a person who deserved so much more. “Josie has been a good granddaughter to you. Yes, she has made mistakes in the past, but who hasn’t—”

  Betty waggled her finger at Silas, as if admonishing him. “You don’t know the half of what she’s done. I’ll bet she’s never told you—”

  “I don’t care what she’s done.” The words fairly burst out of him before he could stop them. And he didn’t care that he had interrupted her. He had something to say that he couldn’t seem to hold back anymore. “God has forgiven her even if she doesn’t seem to realize that. And as for what she used to be, I only care what she is right now—one of the best people I know. She is unselfish to a fault. She is more giving than anyone I’ve ever met. She is kinder and gentler than even Kelly ever was.”

  “She was,” Betty protested.

  “Josie is more than her equal. In fact, I think Josie is even kinder and more generous.”

  “But I thought you loved your wife? That you couldn’t get over her death.” Betty seemed shocked that he spoke that way about Kelly.

  “I loved Kelly dearly. And hopefully, with God’s help, I’ve dealt with the grief I felt over her death. But I also know the time has come to move on. To know that I love Josie. To know that I love her more than I thought I could ever love anyone again.” He stopped as the words he just spoke resonated between them, filling the cabin.

  “I love her,” he said again, his words coming out in an astonished whisper.

  He dragged one hand over his face as he grabbed the back of a nearby chair with another to steady himself. He knew it to be true and right. He loved Josie Cane.

  Then he caught Betty’s astonished glance, but she wasn’t looking at him.

  She was looking over his shoulder.

  With a sinking feeling of inevitability, Silas turned.

  Behind him, framed in the doorway, the light from the porch behind her making a nimbus of gold around her face, stood Josie.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Josie clung to the doorway as a sailor would the mast of a storm-tossed ship. Her eyes held Silas’s steady gaze and as he walked toward her, the ground beneath her tilted and turned.

  What had he said?

  Did he mean it?

  He came to a halt in front of her, his hands hanging at his sides as if unsure of what to do with them.

  “Did you say—” Josie cleared her throat and tried again. “Did you say that you love me?”

  She swallowed down the emotions threatening to swamp her. In her peripheral vision she saw her grandmother move to a kitchen chair. She heard Alyssa running out of the house behind her.

  All these things she pushed aside as unimportant.

  Right now she needed to keep her head clear and her focus on Silas.

  His gaze was on her, his brown eyes holding hers intently.

  “I love you, Josie Cane.” His simple declaration knocked the ground out from under her and she would have fallen, but Silas caught her. Pulled her into the haven of his arms.

  He cradled her head against his shoulder with one hand, wrapped his other arm completely around her, clutching her waist. “I’m so sorry. I was so wrong. What I said about Kelly wasn’t true, but I was afraid to love you. Afraid to let you into my life, but I do love you. I do.”

  Josie let his words wash over her, let his arms hold her up. The beginnings of a sob caught in her throat but she fought it down. Gently she eased her head back. She needed to see his beloved face.

  She cupped her hands around his cheeks, stroking their rough texture with her thumbs as she made her simple declaration.

  “I love you.”

  Silas looked down at her, his expression serious. “I was so wrong,” he murmured. “I was hiding behind my feelings for Kelly. I’m sorry.”

  “I won’t hurt you” was all she could say. “I’ll never hurt you.”

  “But you already have.” Silas let a smile slip over his lips. He pressed her hand against his chest. “Right now this hurts. But it hurts good. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t scared anymore. That I trust God will help me through anything that might happen to you, or Lily or Alyssa. But you were right. Better to live with the potential of pain than to live with the surety of loneliness.” He laid his forehead against hers and closed his eyes. “I don’t want you to go. I don’t want you to leave High Plains.”

  Josie thought of her plans. They had been so important to her at one time. But now, here in Silas’s arms, they lost their urgency.

  “I know you feel you have to leave,” he continued, pulling away to look at her. “To protect Alyssa. And to protect yourself.” Silas glanced over his shoulder at Betty, who still sat watching the two of them, then he turned his loving gaze back on her. “But I want you to know that I’m here for you. I believe in you and know who you are. You are such an amazing person I can’t let you out of my life. I want to protect you from every harsh word, every false rumor. But if you still feel you need to leave…” He let the sentence trail off, as if he wasn’t sure what she would do, as if he was giving her permission to make up her own mind.

  Josie lost herself in his earnest gaze as his hands clung to her arms, as his words washed over her, comforting and strengthening.

  “I don’t think I’m going anywhere,” she whispered. She felt as if she didn’t need to run. To hide. She wasn’t alone anymore.

  She had Silas.

  “I don’t want to go. Not anymore,” she said, conviction ringing in her voice. What could she possibly find anywhere else better than what she had right here, right now?

  He smiled. “I love you so much.”

  “I love you, too” was all Josie could say.

  She pulled his head down to hers and she sealed her promise with a warm, gentle, kiss.

  Then she drew away and looked at her grandmother watching them. With Silas’s arm around her to give her strength, Josie faced her grandmother.

  “Why did you do it? Why did you pretend you couldn’t walk?”

  “I was going to tell you,” Betty said, avoiding the question.

  “When?” Silas asked.

  Betty’s gaze shot to his, then down again. “When I knew she wasn’t going to leave.”

  Josie frowned, then went to her grandmother’s side and knelt so she could look up at her. “What do you mean?”

  Betty sighed, her fingers twisted around each other. “I thought you would stay if you thought I couldn’t walk.”

  “But surely you couldn’t keep this up forever.”

  Betty nodded. “I know. But I thought as long as I could, you would stay here. And then you started making plans and I didn’t know what to do anymore.”