“Why are you smiling? You’re not saying anything nice,” she stated.

  “All I’m saying is Laura and Michelle had a twin to look at, and clearly they chose the wrong one. I mean, Laura already had to deal with Benjamin once, and now she’s with the love of her life. Why not try me out? I am the better twin.”

  I rolled my eyes as Archer groaned, and Paige let out a little huff.

  “Okay, I’m going to have to text Eliza you just said that,” Annabelle said with a laugh.

  “First off, Eliza wouldn’t mind if I had to, even though we’d have to talk about it first, and she knows I’m the better twin.”

  I looked at them both and snorted. “I’m going back to work, and I’m going to tell our parents tomorrow, so don’t tell them first.”

  “Do not worry, I want nothing to do with that conversation,” Archer said quickly, and the rest of my siblings nodded.

  I cringed. “Oh good. I can’t wait. You can tell Eliza, though, and Jacob. Hell, even Colton.”

  Paige narrowed her eyes. “Thanks,” she snapped. “So glad you thought of him last.”

  “No, I’m pretty sure he thought of Marc last,” Archer said dryly.

  I winced. “I’m sorry I’m flustered. I keep forgetting how many of you are with people. It turns out everyone is but me.”

  “Aw, well, at least you’re going to go spread your seed out into the world,” Archer said with a laugh, and all of us nearly gagged.

  “Never say that again,” I said with a laugh. “Now I need to get to work, I have two phone calls, and then I’m going to go to an early lunch to go tell Laura and Michelle in person.”

  “Oh, I’m so excited,” Paige said as she started to clap. “Do you think it’d be weird if I learned to knit a blanket for her?”

  “You’re not even going to learn to knit a blanket for me?” Annabelle said.

  “What? Mom’s going to do that for you, but I want to help. Oh, is she going to have a baby shower? What can I do? How can I help?”

  Archer came over, put his hands over Paige’s mouth, and gave me a look. “I’ll handle her. Calm her down. She has babies on the brain.”

  “Thank you.” I shook my head as Paige started trying to squeal through Archer’s fingers, and I just sighed.

  That had gone better than expected, and I knew my parents would probably be okay with the circumstances, but I was happy with the way my siblings had reacted. It was a different situation, but people had done this before. It wasn’t new. I’d be able to help out my friend.

  Images of Brenna filled my mind, and I pushed that to the side. I did not need to think about Brenna when I was thinking about having to donate sperm. That was crossing a line, and as it was, I didn’t need to think about Brenna again because I wasn’t sure what I was going to do when I saw her.

  After working for a few hours, I made my way to the same lunch spot I had met with the girls before. Laura and Michelle were there, iced teas in front of them, their hands clasped.

  I gave them one look, and Laura began crying, and Michelle lifted her fists into the air. “I knew it!”

  “I didn’t even say anything,” I laughed.

  “You didn’t have to,” Michelle said. “This is…I love you. Seriously. I have never said that to a man before, but I just want you to know that I love you from the deepest part of my heart. You will be a part of this baby’s life, and I cannot believe I just said that we’re going to have a baby.”

  She leaned forward, pressed her lips to mine, bringing a laugh out of me. Then she kissed her wife before Laura kissed me, and everybody started clapping, and I knew they had no idea what was going on, but from an outsider’s perspective, it probably looked like we were having a lot more fun than we were.

  “I am so excited for you.”

  “I’m so excited that you’re doing this,” Laura said. “You’re going to help us have a baby.”

  “I’m going to do my best. And not in a weird sense.” I cringed as they laughed.

  “Well, we can go over all the details later, but for now, let’s have a glass of champagne and just talk to one another because soon one of us isn’t going to be able to have alcohol for a while.”

  “Because I should be pregnant,” Laura said as she threw her hands up in the air.

  We did indeed have a champagne lunch, then I sat with my friends. I might admit this might not be the most conventional way to bring a life into the world, but I was damn glad that I was saying yes.

  I was moving forward with my life, making decisions. My thoughts of Brenna and what part of me wanted didn’t need to be part of it. We had walked away from each other without saying a word, and that was for the best. I needed her to be my friend. I needed her to be in my life. That meant we had to put what had happened behind us and not think about it again, even if the thought of that wasn’t easy. For now, I was making other people happy. I’d find my place in the world—without Brenna by my side or in my thoughts.

  Chapter 10

  Brenna

  My back hurt, my head ached, and my wrists continued to make that little crackling sound every time I moved the piping bag. I didn’t care. Today was a big day.

  Today was baby day. It cost me a considerable chunk of change, but it was what I’d wanted. I wanted to be pregnant. I wanted a baby. I wanted it for myself. Not for my siblings or my cousins or my family. Yes, they kept making different jokes or comments about it, kind of, but in the end, nothing they said penetrated. I wanted to be a mother. I knew if this try didn’t work, then I wouldn’t be doing it again. I honestly couldn’t afford it. I would turn to becoming a foster mother and then adopting, which were also expensive but wouldn’t tax my body more than I was already doing. I had plans, and I would make those plans work.

  At least, that’s what I kept telling myself.

  I was nervous. Then again, I had been nervous most of the day and hadn’t been feeling quite well. I didn’t have a fever, but I had been nauseous earlier and had even thrown up a couple of times. I knew it was because I was stressed out and hadn’t been able to keep anything down because of what would happen later, so I didn’t worry all too much.

  After I finished this cake, and then the order of specialty cupcakes, I would head to my doctors, and things would take the next step. Part of me couldn’t quite believe that this is what I was doing. That this was the next step of my life. And again, I hadn’t imagined I’d still be perpetually single at my age, not that there was anything wrong with my age. I thought maybe I’d be on the same path as my siblings and best friends by now.

  Annabelle was married and pregnant with twins. Paige was well on her way to getting engaged. We all knew it; we just figured Colton was taking his time, and knowing Paige, if she genuinely felt as if it were time and didn’t want to wait any longer, she would ask him herself. That’s who Paige was. Someone who took life by the lens and made her happiness happen. I was taking a cue from her, after all.

  Eliza was finding her new life with Beckett. She was taking her steps in this dance, and I loved her for it. I would take my own steps. My own chances. Hopefully, soon I would be able to tell my friends exactly what steps I had taken. Yes, I still hadn’t told them about my plans. I had wanted it to be mine. Benjamin knew, but he hadn’t told his family and our friends either. Of course, he hadn’t told anyone about anything from that trip, for that matter, but I wasn’t going to dwell on that. Because if I did, I wouldn’t stop thinking about it.

  I had slept with Benjamin Montgomery. I couldn’t forget that. I thought about it every night as I went to sleep and probably would continue to think about it until the end of my days. Even if I told myself that there was no need to, that things would get back to normal. In the weeks since we had come back to town, we had both dived headlong into work and rarely seen each other, other than two times at Riggs’ where we had casually not spoken to one another or acknowledged each other’s existence.

  I had made a mistake. Benjamin would never be a mistake. Not in that sense. That would be horrible to him to even say that. But I was afraid we had truly ruined our friendship because of one night.

  And a second kiss.

  I would worry about what I was supposed to do or say to make things better later. I would. I promised myself that much. However, first, I needed to get pregnant.

  I spluttered a bit as I thought the words, grateful that I was alone in my bakery for the evening. I had two staff members who came in and helped with the big things, and with the minute chocolates and other items that took time and more than two hands, but I usually worked on many of my decorations on my own. I was a specialty cake decorator, was highly sought after, and had a months-long waiting list.

  When a magazine had come, had heard about me through a friend’s wedding, they had put me on their cover, at least my cake, and the foodie show had even done a spot on me. I might not be famous, I was not a celebrity chef, but because of that, people heard of my cakes enough that I had a business that worked.

  Those two staff members would have to help me greatly when the baby came, but I would deal with that. It wasn’t going to be easy, nothing, when it came to parenting, was, but I would find a way. I wanted this. I wanted it at all.

  I would find a way, I told myself again.

  I sat down the piping bag, looked over my work before I gripped the edge of the table. I should have eaten something earlier, maybe some saltines or something that I could keep down, but I had been too nervous.

  I shook it off, chugged down the rest of my water, and went about cleaning up after myself. I had to finish up these cupcakes, and then I could head over.

  I knew I should call one of my friends, and I shouldn’t be doing this on my own. I was stubborn, and people knew that. My mother had always said that she should have given me the middle name Stubborn, and she was probably right. I wasn’t sure who I was supposed to call, because if I did, I would have to explain what I wanted and what goals I had. The only person who knew and understood right at that moment was Benjamin, and I knew he couldn’t be the one that I would call.

  If I called him, he would come. He would be by my side, and he would hold my hand, and he would make sure I was safe.

  I couldn’t.

  Instead, Sky, my staff member and assistant would help me get home.

  I wanted a baby, and this is what I had to deal with. I needed to tell my friends. I needed to tell someone other than Benjamin. I didn’t like the fact that I had yet one more secret. After all of our anger and tension over Beckett’s secrets, here I was doing it myself.

  How was I supposed to be a good mother when I couldn’t even follow my own rules and morals?

  I sighed, rolled my shoulders back, ignored the dizziness, and set up the cupcakes.

  I put them in the walk-in fridge when I was done. Sky would finish up the rest of the order the next day.

  I knew Sky would be able to take more responsibility once this baby came, as we had both been discussing her increasing her work and hours in the first place. She didn’t know why but hopefully when I told her, she wouldn’t freak out. Hopefully, when I told anyone, they wouldn’t freak out. Benjamin hadn’t.

  I shook my head, washed my hands, and then headed out to my car. Soon things could be completely different in my life. My stomach rolled, and I knew it was nerves. So many nerves. I drove carefully toward the office, telling myself that getting a speeding ticket today of all days wouldn’t be responsible. I pulled myself from my worries and turned down the street towards my doctor.

  I wanted to be a mother, I told myself again. I might be going about it differently from what others might have expected, but I did the unexpected. I was stubborn, like they told me. I was going to do this even if I didn’t feel a hundred percent okay today.

  I hoped I wasn’t coming down with a cold because that meant no baby for now. I shook it off and told myself everything was fine.

  “Hi there, Brenna,” the admin said as I walked into the waiting area.

  “Hi, Candace. It’s good to see you. How’s the baby?”

  Candace beamed and held out her phone. “Her first tooth is already in. I can’t believe it. It feels like I just was pregnant yesterday.”

  I beamed as I looked down at the little ball of cuteness. I had remembered when Candace had been pregnant, and it did feel like it was yesterday. Now her daughter had her first tooth and was grinning with that little tooth and all of those gums at the camera.

  “She’s gorgeous.” I wiped away a tear.

  Candice held out the tissue box. “Hormones will do that to you.”

  She winked when she said it, and since nobody was in the waiting room, I didn’t mind leaning forward. “Hopefully I’ll have even more hormones soon.”

  “Crossing my fingers for you, darling.”

  She handed me some paperwork, and we worked through it quickly before I made my way to the back.

  “You know the drill, come pee in the cup,” another nurse said, and I nodded, before I did as ordered, and washed my hands.

  I let out a breath and looked at myself in the mirror. “Okay then. You can do this. Everything’s fine.”

  My phone vibrated, and I looked down.

  Sky: We’ll see you in a bit. Just let us know if you need us to bring anything.

  Me: Thank you so much for picking me up.

  Sky: No problem, boss. See you soon.

  I let out a shaky breath before I put my phone back again. It buzzed one more time, and I looked at the screen, expecting Sky.

  Benjamin: Good luck today. You had told me the date before, and I know we aren’t talking about it. I’m here if you need me.

  I swallowed hard and let out a breath.

  Damn him, damn him for being so perfect at the completely wrong time. Not that there was ever going to be a right time when it came to Benjamin Montgomery.

  I couldn’t answer. I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to say. Thank you? I miss you? We should talk? None of that was going to work. Instead, I slid my finger over the screen where his name was and let out a shaky breath before I put my phone back in my purse. I quickly turned it off and told myself that he didn’t need a response now. It wasn’t as if I knew what I was supposed to say.

  I walked into my room, where the nurse had laid out my gown.

  “Keep your socks on. I know you get cold feet.”

  I smiled at her. “That is the truth. Although I always find it odd that we tend to hide our underwear when we’re in here.”

  “I do it too, so I don’t blame you. It just doesn’t seem right to have my underwear thrown about the room like that.” She winked, and I laughed, grateful that she was there to ease some of my nerves.

  I was so stressed out, but this is what I wanted. And I didn’t even have to tell myself this is what I wanted. I knew it deep down into my soul. This was the path for me.

  I was making a stand, making my choices.

  I changed into my gown and sat at the edge of the bed, my socked feet dangling as they waited for the doctor. I found as time kept going, I wished I’d left my phone on so I could play a game or pretend not to look at Benjamin’s name on my text.

  I didn’t know it would take this long for them to come in and speak to me, because I knew that they had a few things to go over before the insemination process.

  However, minutes kept going by, and worries started to creep in.

  Maybe the donor that I had chosen didn’t work out? Or maybe today wasn’t the right day. Could they tell that from urine?

  These are the things I should have known beforehand. Maybe if I had told Paige, she would have helped me create an entire three-ring binder worth of notes with essential parts of the process. No, instead, I had kept this from her, and now I was here all alone, naked under a gown wearing only my socks.

  I was making a mistake, not with getting pregnant, or at least hopefully getting pregnant, but not telling the Montgomerys.

  There wasn’t time now. I knew it, but damn it, why was I so stubborn?

  The door opened, and my doctor walked in, a small smile on her face. There was something in her eyes I couldn’t quite place.

  “Is there something wrong?

  “No, Brenna. But let us talk.”

  My toes curled into my socks, and I froze before I swallowed hard. “Is something wrong? What happened? What did I do?”

  “Brenna, I’m going to say this quickly, and then we’re going to talk about a few things. I want you to breathe and know that I’m here.”

  This couldn’t be happening. Something was wrong. “You’re just going to tell me something horrible, and I have no one here because I hid this from my friends because I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do.” I was rambling, but I couldn’t help it. I should have told Benjamin to be here. I should have told anyone to be here.

  “Brenna, we’re not going to do the insemination today.”

  “Why?” I gasped. My heart raced.

  “Because you’re already pregnant.”

  I wasn’t quite sure what she said after that, as the ringing in my ears intensified, and then she was reaching out for me and then…nothing.

  Chapter 11

  Benjamin

  * * *

  I looked down at the notebook in front of me and nearly crossed my eyes. Nothing looked right. I wasn’t exactly sure what I was supposed to do to fix that problem. The angles were all off, and I knew it had to be me. My client knew what they wanted. However, they also were open to change depending on what was suitable for the property itself. My family was building this custom home for new clients. My job was the massive grounds, only something was off about it. There were far too many angles and not enough levels. I’d already scrapped one set of designs, and they didn’t even touch on what the original plans had been when we had gotten the bid.

  The house had changed remarkably during Beckett’s time with it, as well as Annabelle’s architectural plans, so it only made sense my plans would change as well. I needed to go out and get my hands dirty or just let myself clear my head, but today was not about being onsite. Today was getting paperwork done, meeting with different clients, and just getting through our business’s paperwork.