“There we go, your baby has a beautiful heartbeat. Everything looks great. I’m going to take a few pictures, and we’re going to go over a few more things, but everything looks great for now. Congratulations, you two.”

  I looked up at Benjamin, and he held my hand tight, his eyes watery. I knew I was crying, and when he leaned down to kiss my cheeks, taking the tears away, I cried even harder.

  “We are having a baby,” I whispered.

  “We are.”

  I looked up at him, and I knew I was in trouble. So damn in trouble. Because I couldn’t fall for him. Not so quickly. I couldn’t want more when we were figuring out what we had right then.

  I was falling. Far too quickly, far too hard.

  I knew when it came to the Montgomerys, once you fell, there was no getting back up. You were lost. Only I wasn’t sure he would fall with me, as that wasn’t the promise we had made. I was falling in love with Benjamin Montgomery, a single mistake I knew could break everything.

  Chapter 17

  Benjamin

  * * *

  “Is this our first date?” Brenna asked me.

  I looked up at her over the menu. “Considering we’re having a baby and spend most days together while we’re not working, I don’t know if this can constitute a first date.”

  She scrunched up her nose before she shook her head, a smile finally playing on her face. I looked around at Colton’s restaurant; I had been here a few times before. There was good food and a pleasant atmosphere, and it wasn’t too fancy for our taste, nor was it a hole in the wall with greasy food.

  It had been a long few weeks between our jobs and trying to figure out a regular routine. We slept at each other’s houses more often than not, and it felt as if we had fallen into a serious relationship right away, rather than working our way up to it. The thing was, I didn’t mind. I liked what we were doing. It felt as if time made sense, that this is what we should have been doing this entire time.

  That wasn’t the right way to think and maybe that would only confuse things in the end, but I wasn’t sure.

  I had never expected Brenna, but I wanted to know more. I had always liked her, always loved her, just in a different way. She was my friend, the one that made me smile and laugh. She was always there for me no matter what, and I knew I did my best to be the same for her. Only things were different now, and I knew she kept us at arm’s length for a reason. If we broke up or broke off whatever the hell we were doing, things would be difficult for both of us. For the baby. I didn’t want this to end. I wanted more.

  I wasn’t sure when that had happened.

  “I’m starving. I think I could eat half of this menu.”

  I looked up at her and grinned. “You want to get two big meals and share? Then there will be leftovers.”

  “That sounds like a plan. Although, I’m suddenly craving salmon even though I haven’t wanted salmon in years, and I think it’s because I can’t have it.”

  “I won’t tell you about the cheese plate I thought about getting then,” I said with a grimace.

  She narrowed her eyes at me. “Do not talk about soft cheeses in front of me. That’s not very nice.”

  I snorted as the waiter came to take our orders.

  Colton was in the back of the restaurant and had come out when we had first shown up. I liked the guy and thought he was good for Paige, but I knew Paige was getting antsy, and so I wanted to know what his intentions were with my baby sister.

  Brenna laughed suddenly, and I looked over at her. “What?”

  “I can just picture you right now imagining walking back into the kitchen and asking Colton to declare his intentions for Paige.”

  “How the hell did you read my mind like that?”

  “Because I know you, Benjamin. It’s sort of what you do.”

  “I just don’t know if I like the fact that I don’t know Colton, or even Marc for that matter, as much as I do Jacob,” I said after a moment.

  “Do you try?” she asked, tilting her head.

  “I do. They don’t hang out with us as much. I get it, we’re a lot to deal with, and we all have lives, but we’re needy. And protective. I know you’re shocked at that revelation.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Completely shocked. I guess Eliza got off easy because she already was well ensconced in the Montgomerys to begin with.”

  “And you too.”

  Her eyes widened. “Yes. Me too.”

  The way she said that made me think she still didn’t think of herself as mine, as someone connected to the Montgomerys through a relationship.

  I wasn’t sure what to think about that. Or even if I should feel too much about that. Damn it, I was falling for her. I wanted her in my life, and she was going to be the mother of my child, but what if I wanted more?

  And I didn’t know if she was going to let that happen.

  We talked about less serious stuff over dinner, and then about upcoming doctor’s appointments.

  By the end of the meal, when I was full and we were waiting on our check, Brenna pulled out the sonogram.

  “So the next one, we should be able to see a little more resolution, right?” she asked as she looked down at the black and white image. I swallowed hard and tapped it.

  “Your insurance covers the 4D one, right?”

  “Yes, but not for a little while. I have to be further along. That’s just going to be so weird. I know we saw Annabelle and Jacob’s, and you saw those two little faces, but it feels real when you look at that. Instead of a blob.”

  I snorted. “Yes, it will be a little weird not just seeing a blob. Of course, I used to think babies looked like little aliens until they were around two months old.”

  Brenna snorted. “Oh my God, me too. I know people say babies are cute, but not all of them. It takes a while for them to grow into cute. And if you ever tell our friends and family that I said that, I will murder you.”

  “Between all of your nieces and nephews, you must have held a lot of babies.”

  “My fair share. I need to head out there again soon since my sister’s about to give birth any minute now.”

  “You missed the birth of your brother’s kid, right?” I asked, frowning.

  Brenna bit her lip, sighed. “Yes, but I’m trying my best to make it to this one. It’s going to get a little more complicated when I’m further along, but with all of my family seemingly having babies one after another, I can’t take as much time off as I would like to since they live on the other side of the country.”

  “Do you want me to come with you?” I asked, my voice low.

  She blinked and swallowed hard. “You’re welcome to. I mean, you’ve already been there, and they know you, and you did get me knocked up, so they might have questions,” she muttered.

  I snorted. “I got the phone call from your brother, your father, and your sisters. Don’t worry. They had questions.”

  “I still can’t believe they did that.”

  “Of course you believe it. It’s what they do, just like my family. But they weren’t rude about it. Just posturing.”

  She shook her head as the waitress came with the check. Her eyes widened as she looked at the sonogram and grinned at the two of us. “Oh, you guys, I’m so happy for you. I didn’t even realize when you had gotten married. Colton hadn’t mentioned it. Congratulations. So many babies in the Montgomerys. That’s wonderful.” She tapped the check on the table, and grinned, and walked away, leaving me shaken.

  “I hadn’t realized she had known you were a Montgomery,” Brenna said, her voice soft.

  I swallowed hard, took out cash so we wouldn’t have to wait for the credit card to process, and grabbed the bag of leftovers. “Come on. We’ll head out of here.”

  “What? Oh, that sounds good. Sure.”

  I held back a curse, knowing that when someone thought we were married or had questions about our future, Brenna took two steps back.

  I didn’t know when I became the one to think of our relationship as something that needed to move forward, but I was. I was there, and I wanted more. That meant I needed more from Brenna. I just wasn’t sure how to ask her to make that happen.

  She was quiet on the car ride back to her place, where I thought I would be spending the night, but after the way she kept looking at me and frowning, I wasn’t sure I would be welcome. She was going to do her best to push me away again. I didn’t know why. Things were working, but maybe I wasn’t what she wanted.

  I needed to talk to her tell her what I was thinking. Why did that sound so much easier on paper than it did when it was real life?

  I pulled into her driveway and picked up the takeout. Without another word, we walked inside through the garage.

  “Benjamin, we need to talk.”

  I held back a curse, knowing what was coming. “I should put the food in the refrigerator, so it doesn’t go bad.”

  “Okay. This feels so domestic.”

  I shook my head, stuffing the bag in the fridge without really caring where it went. “Of course, it looks domestic. We’re having a kid. I’m in your house. That’s domestic.”

  “I don’t want to confuse the baby.”

  I swallowed hard, knowing where she was going with this. Frankly, I was surprised it hadn’t come up sooner, or that it wasn’t me saying it. “Confuse the baby? Or you.”

  “Maybe that’s it, too. I don’t know. But maybe we should stop. Take a step back and realize where we are.”

  “Just like that?”

  “Maybe it’d be best.”

  “Best for who? For you? Should we have defined labels? Because I wouldn’t mind that. I wouldn’t mind knowing who we are or what we want from each other. We weren’t in the same position when we slept together, nor are we in the same position when we found out we were pregnant. Things are different now. You can feel it.”

  “I know things are different, but it’s just happening so quickly. I don’t want you to wake up one day and realize that you were forced into this.”

  “Brenna. Frankly, I’m doing my best not to scare you, but this is reality. Not some movie.”

  She nodded, swallowing hard. “I know that. If it were some movie, I’d end up falling for my best friend like everyone else thought, not his twin where everybody gets confused, and I don’t know what I’m doing.”

  “What the fuck, Brenna?” I asked, ice flooding through my veins.

  “That’s not what I meant.”

  “Then why did you bring him up?”

  “Because everybody thought I was supposed to be with Beckett, and I didn’t want him like that. And suddenly I’m with you, and I want you? I don’t know how it happened. And now I’m afraid that people keep pushing us in this direction, and you’re not going to want this.”

  “Stop telling me what I want. I’m trying not to tell you what you want, so you don’t get to do the same for me.” I paused and blurted, “Am I just his replacement?”

  “What the fuck? That’s not what I said.”

  “Then why bring him up?” I asked again.

  “Because he’s part of this. He’s your twin, my best friend. Things are complicated. He doesn’t have anything to do with this.” She put her hands over her stomach. “Our baby. And I feel like everything’s getting confused and going too fast, and I need a moment to breathe.”

  “I like you, Brenna,” I said after a moment. “Fuck it. I’m falling in love with you.” Her eyes widened, and I hated myself. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do about it, what we’re supposed to do about it. Because you might not have asked for this, but neither did I. But here we are, I’m fucking falling in love with you, and every time I look at you, I’m afraid you’re not going to feel the same way.”

  “I don’t know what we’re supposed to do, Benjamin. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. What if we keep doing this and we realize that we were doing it for the wrong reasons? We’ll just hurt each other more. I’m scared.”

  She swallowed hard, and I cursed. I moved forward, cupping her face. “I don’t know what we’re going to do, Brenna. We can’t run away from each other.”

  “I don’t want to run. I need to think.”

  She didn’t push me away then though, she put her arms around my waist and held me close, and I did the same, inhaling her scent and telling myself that this wasn’t an end. That she wasn’t pushing me away for good. She was scared, and fuck, so was I, but I was terrified that somehow this wasn’t going to be enough. That I wasn’t going to be enough. When Brenna got scared, she faced things head-on by taking care of others. Never herself.

  I didn’t know where I stood in her mind.

  Nor did I know what would happen once I let go and finally let myself believe.

  Chapter 18

  Brenna

  * * *

  I wasn’t sure I could blame everything on hormones, yet part of me knew that might be the case right now. My body hurt, my soul ached, and I felt like all I did was make mistake after mistake.

  I had been so mean to myself and Benjamin the night before. So casually cruel. I knew I was acting off, that I wasn’t saying the right things, but as I opened my mouth, random words just tumbled out.

  There was no excuse other than I needed to stop and take a minute to think of what I was doing.

  “You want to talk about it?” Archer asked me from my side, and I turned, doing my best to pull myself from my thoughts.

  We were at Riggs’, doing our best to do monthly evenings at the bar. We used to do it weekly, but between work and new challenges and changes in our lives, we were no longer able to meet up as often. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that, as I already missed how much time we had spent with one another. However, maybe it was for the best. After all, I didn’t know where I stood with Benjamin, and I knew the others were going to be able to tell that something was off with us the moment they looked at us. Considering Archer was here talking to me about it right then, I had been right.

  “Everything’s fine,” I lied.

  “You can’t lie to me, Brenna. You’re my friend, and having a baby with my brother. I can tell these things.”

  “Me being pregnant with a Montgomery baby means that suddenly you can read my thoughts?” I asked, teasing, though not fully teasing. I wouldn’t be surprised if some radar and tracking software came with the Montgomerys.

  “Not that way, though that would be a cool trick,” Archer said with a laugh.

  I shook my head. “I’m fine. I need to think.”

  “You can think and talk.”

  “We are in the middle of the bar while most of the family is on the dance floor, and I don’t think that me talking about my problems or lack thereof right now is the best thing.”

  “Know I’m always here for you like I know you will always be here for me.” Something in his tone worried me, but when his face closed off, I realized that maybe I wasn’t the only one lost in my feelings and thoughts. I wanted to say something, ask what was wrong, but I couldn’t. There was something in his face that told me he wasn’t ready to talk about it. Well, I wasn’t prepared either. So we made for a pair.

  I opened my mouth to say something, but then Benjamin finally walked in. I wasn’t going to lie and say I hadn’t been looking for him this whole time, because I had. He had been running late with an issue at work, which seemed to be coming up more often than not recently. He was on a tough job that was taking almost all of his time, and while I understood that, I couldn’t help but wonder if he was grateful for the reprieve from my awkwardness. Once again, I was centering all of our decisions on myself, and I needed to stop doing that.

  “And I see I’m no longer needed in this conversation,” Archer teased. I looked over at him.

  “What?” I ask, blinking back to the now.

  “Oh, nothing. Don’t worry about it. However, your man is here. You should talk to him, tell him how you feel.”

  I looked at him and then at our crowd of people that did not include his fiancé.

  “You want to talk about feelings?” I asked pointedly.

  He rolled his eyes. “Marc is out of for business, something you well know. That’s why he’s not here. He always comes to Montgomery events at Riggs’, while I go with him to his business meetings at high-end bars that serve martinis that are more expensive than my first car.”

  That made me smirk. “You guys are making it work, though.”

  He smiled, his eyes full of love. “We are. We come from different walks of life, and we don’t always agree on everything, but we shouldn’t have to. We’re allowed to have our own opinions and wants and needs. We compromise with each other, and speaking to one another is what makes a relationship work.”

  “When did you get so wise, Archer Montgomery?”

  “I’ve always been wise. You have just been too lost in your thoughts to see it.”

  “Maybe.”

  “You don’t have to make all of your decisions right away. If you aren’t ready for something serious beyond having a baby, which—hello—is very serious, make sure he knows that. If you’re just scared, and that’s why you’re walking away or pushing him away? Then make sure you realize that’s what it is.”

  “I didn’t tell you a single thing, Archer. Did Benjamin talk to you?” I asked, my heart racing. How could Archer know me so well?

  From the look on his face, I knew I had just stepped in it. He had been guessing, fishing, and I had spilled the beans.

  “He didn’t have to, nor did you.”

  “It’s not like that.”

  “It’s not like anything. Take your time, breathe. And know that you do not need to fall into anyone’s timelines but yours, as long as you remember that Benjamin might have his ideas.”

  Archer kissed me softly on the cheek, and then practically pushed me towards Benjamin.

  As soon as I saw Benjamin, though, all thoughts of being rational slid out of my mind. I couldn’t think when he was around. And that was a problem. I was the rational one. Not prone to emotional decisions. But every time I was near him, I threw myself into those bad decisions. I didn’t want to be this person, but how long could I blame the hormones for this mess?