Guilt.

  Val wiped a hand over his face and sighed. The guilt was probably eating King alive. Because of all the nights to have worked late, he’d been away when Leo had needed him the most.

  “Fuck.” No wonder King was a fucking mess.

  Val checked his phone again. Nothing. Exactly how long was he going to sit on his couch and stare at his phone? All night, apparently. He’d tried calling Saint but got nothing. Not even a text. Then again, no one seemed to be answering their phones, and Val couldn’t blame them, though with that murderous son of a bitch on the loose, they should all be in communication. The only message he’d received that night was from Ryden, letting him know they were at a bar.

  A knock at his door scared the shit out of him, and he jumped to his feet. He darted to the door and peeked out the window, letting out a sigh of relief to find his best friend. He opened the door and threw his arms around Frank, hugging him tight.

  “Frank. Thank fuck. No one’s answering their goddamn phones.” He pulled back, his heart in his throat at Frank’s grim expression.

  “They’re all still at the hospital. Leo….” Frank closed his eyes and shook his head. “They almost lost him, Val.”

  “What?” Val moved to one side so Frank could come inside. He saw the patrol car and put a hand up to let the officers know everything was okay.

  “He was in surgery, and they almost lost him. The bullet did more damage than they thought. It was a delicate procedure, and there were complications. That’s all I was able to learn from Joshua. He’s with Colton, helping out.”

  “Fuck. Is he going to live through this?” Val could barely get the words out as he closed the door and joined Frank on the couch. He didn’t want to consider the possibility. King wasn’t the only one feeling guilty as hell. If King lost Leo because someone had been after Val? Val would never forgive himself.

  Frank’s phone pinged, and he removed it from his pocket, letting out a sigh of relief. “Talk about timing.” He showed Val his screen.

  Leo is out of surgery. He’s going to be okay.

  “Thank goodness. Fuck. I can’t believe this is happening. How’s King?”

  “Not good.” Frank pressed his lips together. “I mean, the guys are devastated, but King…they’re worried. They’ve never seen him like this. He’s the glue that’s always held them all together. Ace has stepped in for the time being.” Frank ran a hand through his hair. He seemed to have noticed something and frowned. “Where’s Saint?”

  “He needed some time to himself. He’s at a bar with Ryden.”

  Frank nodded. “Poor guy. Shit position to be in.”

  “He blames himself.”

  “Lot of that going around. He probably thinks everyone else is blaming him.”

  “If anyone’s to blame, it’s me. Whoever the fuck is after me has upped their game, and now people we care about are hurting. If King wants someone to blame, he should blame me.”

  Frank cursed under his breath. “I know it’s easier said than done, but you have to stop blaming yourself. The only person at fault here is the asshole who shot Leo. It could have been anyone of you who got hit tonight. Hell, if it hadn’t been a room full of soldiers and bodyguards, the casualties could have been devastating. That son of a bitch is the one to blame. Not you, and sure as shit, not Saint.”

  Frank was right. But how was he going to get through to Saint so he understood that when Val was finding it difficult to accept it himself?

  “One thing’s for sure,” Frank said solemnly. “The police better find that guy before King does.”

  Val cursed under his breath. “Ain’t that the truth.”

  “Don’t suppose you’ve heard anything from the police?” Frank asked.

  “Mason called earlier. There were some witnesses, and they gave a description of the vehicle, but no one got a good look at the driver. The police found the truck abandoned on the other side of the bridge. It had been reported stolen two nights ago.”

  “Great.” Frank shook his head. “Who would be that pissed at you?”

  “I don’t know, man. I’ve pissed off a lot of people over the years.”

  “Yeah, but enough for someone to commit murder? To kill you and anyone who gets caught in the way?”

  “Who knows? It’s a crazy fucking world these days.”

  “You don’t have to tell me,” Frank grumbled.

  Though Frank had a point. Yes, Val had pissed off a lot of people. He’d fought back when they expected him to give in or go away peacefully. Most of those incidents had happened out of bigotry and hate, but for someone to try to kill him? He wasn’t even the fire chief anymore. The doorbell rang, and Val rushed to answer it, his heart in his throat when he opened the door to see Saint hanging off Ryden’s shoulder, his head hanging forward as his friend struggled to keep him upright.

  “Got a present for you.”

  Frank hurried over and helped Val carry Saint inside.

  “Hey.” Saint’s crooked smile broke Val’s heart. He poked Val’s cheek. “You’re so handsome.” His words were slurred, and his eyes—glassy and red—were barely open.

  “Bedroom,” Val said, grateful for Frank’s help. They lay Saint on the bed, and Val pulled off Saint’s boots.

  “I managed to get a bottle of water down him,” Ryden said. “Fair warning, he’s been obsessed with mint tonight for some reason.”

  “Chocolate mint,” Val murmured.

  “What?”

  “I told him how much I love chocolate mint.”

  “Ah, that’s probably it.” Ryden clapped Val on the back. “Maybe you can get through to him. He’s being too hard on himself.”

  “We’ll leave you two alone,” Frank said. “Call me if you need anything.”

  “Thanks. Let me know if either of you hear anything about Leo?”

  “Will do,” Ryden said, leaving with Frank.

  Val walked them out, making sure the front door was locked once they’d left. He checked the windows and the rest of the house. As much as he appreciated the officers in the patrol car out front, he wouldn’t put anything past the bastard who shot at them tonight.

  Once he was sure everything was secure, he headed into the bedroom and kicked off his shoes. He’d showered and dressed in jeans and a T-shirt in case he needed to head back out. Saint lay on Val’s side of the bed, head on his pillow. His eyes were closed. Was he out?

  “I fucked up.”

  Nope. He was awake.

  “No, you didn’t.”

  “King fired me.”

  Val frowned. “When?”

  “At the hospital. You were there. He said I was finished. Ace said not to listen to him, but King’s the boss, right? I mean, everyone listens to him. It doesn’t matter. I don’t deserve to work there. My job is protection. I failed. I failed to protect someone important to me, and Leo almost died.”

  Val sat on the edge of the bed next to Saint and ran a hand through his hair, smiling at the soft sigh Saint released. “Baby, you didn’t fail. The moment you were aware of the danger, you protected him. It’s not your fault.”

  “King doesn’t think so,” Saint said with a hum as Val stroked his hair. “That feels nice.”

  “King is hurting very badly right now.”

  “Leo’s an amazing guy.”

  “He is. He’ll be okay. Joshua texted Frank, Leo’s going to be okay.”

  “Oh thank goodness.”

  Val nodded. “He’s strong. Stronger than a lot of people give him credit for.” Leo might not have the brawn that the rest of them had, but he was a genius. He’d gotten himself out of deadly situations before using his smarts. From what Val had heard, he’d even saved King’s life.

  “He is strong.” Saint opened his eyes, his lips pulling into a smile. “You called me Baby.”

  Val hadn’t even realized he’d done that. “I did?”

  “Am I?”

  “Are you what?”

  “Yours,” Saint said, his voice quiet.

  Val ran the back of his fingers down Saint’s stubbled jaw. “Why don’t we have this conversation in the morning?”

  “Is that a no?”

  “If we talk about this now, you’ll forget all about it by morning.” Like when he’d been in the hospital and asked Val to kiss him. Saint’s pout was adorable. Val leaned in and brushed his lips over Saint’s. “What if I tell you that I don’t want to be just friends anymore?”

  Saint stared up at him. “What do you want to be?”

  “More. Move over.” Val waited for Saint to shimmy back to the other side of the bed, then climbed in and lay on his side facing Saint. He was so damned beautiful and amazing. Val would be lying to himself if he said he didn’t want more at this point. “You mean a lot to me, Saint. I love being around you, with you. I’ve never felt this way about anyone, and sure as hell, not this quickly. If I give up the chance to see where this goes, I’d be making a terrible mistake.”

  “I’m ready to be all in,” Saint said softly, and Val’s heart almost beat out of him. Was Saint saying what he thought he was saying?

  “You are?”

  Saint nodded. “I can’t promise that everything will be smooth sailing or that I won’t make mistakes or do something that’ll make you feel shitty, but I I’ll always do my best to make things right.” He slid his hand over Val’s and laced their fingers together.

  “I understand that there will be moments when you might not be ready for a certain step, and I’ll be patient,” Val promised. “You can always come to me, talk to me.”

  “This is all very serious grown-up talk.”

  Val couldn’t help his smile. “It is, isn’t it? What did you drink tonight?”

  “Brandy, and it was gross.” Saint wrinkled his nose. It was cute. “There was no mint in it.”

  “You don’t get mint with brandy.”

  Saint’s eyes went huge. “That’s exactly what Ryden said.” He leaned in, eyes narrowed. “Were you there?”

  “No,” Val said with a chuckle.

  “I think I love you.”

  Val stared at Saint. Had he just…? No. Surely, he hadn’t.

  “I know it feels fast, but I’ve been kind of obsessed with you for a long time now, so I’ve been thinking about you for a really long time, and so for me, I guess it doesn’t feel too fast, and I probably shouldn’t have said anything.”

  Val leaned in and kissed Saint. He wrapped an arm around him and pulled him close. “I think I love you too.”

  The smile that lit up Saint’s face stole Val’s breath away, and he really hoped Saint remembered this moment in the morning, but if not, Val would happily remind him.

  “Get some sleep,” Val said gently. It was obvious Saint was trying really hard to keep his eyes open. He opened his mouth like he was going to argue, then clearly decided against it.

  “Okay.”

  Val lay there for a few heartbeats watching Saint, the way his lips were slightly parted as he slept, his dark lashes resting on his cheeks. His hair was a mess, probably from him running his hands through it all night. How had Val not seen what was right in front of him all this time? Why had he waited so long? What good did it do to protect his heart if that meant giving up the chance at something amazing?

  Closing his eyes, Val felt like he was finally able to breathe. He lay his hand over Saint’s and let sleep claim him.

  He opened his eyes, wondering why Saint had turned on the lights, only to discover it was morning. He tilted his head, finding Saint sitting up against the headboard, reading a book. One of Val’s books. It made Val smile.

  “Good morning,” Saint said cheerfully, closing the book and placing it on the nightstand. He lay down and faced Val. “I remember.”

  Val blinked at him. “I’m sorry?”

  “You said I wouldn’t remember, but I did.”

  “You brushed your teeth.” Val could smell Saint’s minty-fresh breath.

  “I also showered and put on some clean clothes.” He wrinkled his nose. “I did not smell good.”

  “What do you remember?”

  Saint smiled, his eyes filled with mischief. “You said you were crazy about me, didn’t know how you’d managed without me all these years, and how if there’s ever another one cookie scenario that you would show your affection by letting me have the cookie.”

  “Is that what I said?” Val pretended to think back. “I remember talking about brandy and how it doesn’t come with mint.”

  “You did say that. Why is everyone so brandy savvy all of a sudden?”

  “There was something else…something important.”

  “You ass.” Saint flicked the tip of Val’s nose.

  “Ow! Why are you inflicting pain on me so early in the morning? I haven’t even had my coffee yet.”

  Saint arched an eyebrow at him. “Coffee is for boyfriends, not for non-boyfriends who pretend they don’t remember what they said the night before.”

  “Oh, I did say something, didn’t I? The thing about me and you.”

  “I’m going to smother you with your pillow.”

  Val rolled onto his back and laughed. He got smacked in the face with a pillow for it, but it was worth it. “Okay, okay! I surrender!” The pillow got pulled away, and Val turned back to Saint. He propped himself on his elbow.

  “I said, I love you.”

  Saint eyed him. “You said you thought you loved me.”

  “Yeah, well, I either do or don’t, right? I mean, this relationship is new, but like you said, it feels like we’ve known each other for so much longer. I’ve been a little obsessed with you too.”

  Saint shrugged. “I didn’t notice.”

  “You shit.”

  Saint laughed and lay down to snuggle in close, his head under Val’s chin. “You know, when I first saw you, I was terrified.”

  “Really? Why?” Val knew he could come off as intimidating, but surely he wasn’t that scary.

  “I was terrified because I’d never looked at a man the way I’d looked at you, and it brought to the surface a lot of feelings I thought I’d buried for good. Then the more time I spent around you, with you, the more I realized a piece of myself had been missing, and I’d done a pretty damn good job of carrying on like I was okay without it, but I wasn’t.”

  “And now?”

  “And now, I’m ready for a new chapter.” He chuckled. “Without the dragons. Never took you for a fantasy and paranormal fan.”

  “It’s as far away from real life as possible,” Val said. “Plus, dragons.”

  “Well, I mean, when you put it that way.” He went quiet for a moment, and just when Val thought maybe Saint fell asleep, he spoke up. “I know it’s not going to be easy, and some things will change. Some people won’t accept that I’m in a relationship with a man, and maybe I’ll…lose some people, but if they don’t want to be a part of my life because I’m not living my life how they want me to live it, then that’s on them, and I deserve better.”

  Val kissed the top of his head. “I’m sorry.”

  “For what? That I’m happy? That I found someone amazing who loves me? I can’t control other people’s actions or thoughts, only my own.”

  “Very true.”

  Saint lifted his face and kissed Val’s neck. He turned and placed kiss after gentle kiss on Val’s skin, trailing up his neck. Val hummed, his entire body suddenly very awake, especially when Saint slid a hand under the waistband of his pants. He wrapped his hand around Val’s dick, and Val bucked his hips, letting out a groan.

  “I love how hard you get for me,” Saint murmured, poking his tongue out to lick a stripe up Val’s jawline.

  “Coffee is overrated,” Val said, rolling them over so he lay between Saint’s legs. “Also, don’t think I forgot about the whole cookie forfeit thing.”

  “No coffee and no cookies? Now you’re just being silly.”

  Val chuckled and kissed Saint slowly at first, nipping at his bottom lip, and sucking on his tongue. Saint moaned, his hands moving to Val’s ass where he squeezed, a finger slipping between Val’s ass cheeks. A shiver went through Val, and he rubbed his erection against Saint’s hard cock.

  “Val,” Saint pleaded, thrusting up as they rubbed against each other. “I want…I….”

  “Say it.” Val groaned as Saint’s finger touched Val’s hole. “Tell me what you want.”

  “I want to be inside you,” Saint said, breath ragged.

  Val smiled and nipped at Saint’s jawline. “There’s lube and condoms in the nightstand drawer.”

  “You….” Saint stared up at him. “You’d really let me do that?”

  “Not let you. Want you to.” Val was so hard at the thought of Saint filling him, his underwear was soaked from his precome. “I want you to fuck me.”

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  Saint could have come in his pajamas from the words alone. He nodded fervently, getting up the moment Val moved away. He grabbed the lube and a condom from inside the nightstand drawer. Was he really going to do this? No, he wasn’t going to overthink. Fuck, he wanted Val so badly.

  They switched spots, both of them quickly getting rid of their clothes. Then Val got on his hands and knees, and Saint knelt frozen for a heartbeat. His nerves started to conspire against him, but he pushed through. He wanted this. He’d dreamed about this. Pouring some of the lube on his finger, he gently pushed the tip inside Val, his cock twitching at the sound of Val sucking in a sharp breath.

  “More,” Val pleaded.

  Saint pushed his finger in down to the knuckle, then back out. Slowly he fucked Val with his finger; his gaze fixed on the way the muscles in Val’s back and arms flexed, his head thrown back as he begged for more.

  “Add another finger,” Val pleaded, and Saint made sure to use plenty of lube as he did what Val said, his cock leaking precome as he readied Val, unable to believe the delicious pressure would soon be wrapped around his dick. Unable to help himself, he palmed his cock and moved his fingers inside Val until Val couldn’t take it anymore.