“Fuck me, Saint. I need you inside me.”

  Saint grabbed the condom packet and carefully tore it open. He rolled it down over his hard length, then lined himself up and breathed. He hesitated, but then Val looked at him over his shoulder, and Saint’s heart skipped a beat. This beautiful, amazing man was his. Saint gently pushed the tip of his cock into Val’s hole, pausing when Val hissed.

  “Are you okay?”

  Val nodded. “Keep going.”

  Saint gritted his teeth and closed his eyes, and he pushed in slowly, the tight heat so damned amazing around his cock. How long had he dreamed about this? Of being buried inside Val, and oh fuck, now he was. Saint’s groin was against Val’s ass. Saint pulled out part of the way and had to stop.

  “Oh fuck.” Saint doubled over.

  “You okay?”

  “Yeah. If I move right this second, I’m going to come, so give me a minute.”

  Val looked over his shoulder at Saint with a smug smile. “Is that so?”

  Confident he wasn’t going to come, Saint straightened, determined to knock the smug smile off that handsome face. He pushed back in and started a steady rhythm of pulling out and pushing in.

  “Oh fuck, yes,” Val groaned. “Come on, Baby. Fuck me.”

  Saint cursed under his breath. He dug his fingers into Val’s hips and started fucking him in earnest, and it was the most mind-blowing sensation he’d ever experienced. The bed moved and creaked beneath them as Saint pulled Val back into his deep thrusts, his hips moving faster and faster. When he realized Val was jerking himself, Saint chased his orgasm as it built inside him.

  “Change your angle,” Val said through his panting breath.

  Saint did as Val asked, his body shuddering when Val cried out, his ass tightening like an iron grip on Saint’s cock.

  “Holy shit, I’m going to come,” Saint said through a gasp.

  “Fuck yeah.”

  Saint’s hips thrust wildly as his orgasm ignited, his muscles tightening as he pounded Val’s ass and spilled himself inside the condom. He continued to fuck Val until he was too tender, and slowly he pulled out.

  Tying the condom, he got up on shaky legs and threw it in the trash. When he returned to the bed, his heart all but imploded at the sight of Val stretched out on the bed on his stomach. He was such a ruggedly handsome man.

  Whom he’d just had sex with.

  Val lifted his head, his expression soft. He held his hand out to Saint. “Come here.”

  Saint took his hand and climbed into bed, facing Val, who propped himself on his elbow. He cupped Saint’s face and kissed him, sweet and slow. Saint melted against him. He loved the way Val kissed him and could easily do it all day.

  Val pulled back and ran his thumb over Saint’s bottom lip. “Talk to me.”

  “I’m good,” Saint lied. Why, he didn’t know. “Just catching my breath.”

  “You sure?” Val asked, his voice laced with concern. He clearly wasn’t convinced.

  “Yeah.” Saint smiled, doing his best to hide his nerves. What the hell was happening? He loved Val. Wanted him. The sex and everything that had come before it was so fucking hot, so why was he about to have a panic attack?

  Val’s sad smile broke Saint’s heart. “Do whatever you have to. I’ll be right here.”

  Why was he so damned good? Saint kissed Val, a quick but sweet kiss. “I love you.” Then he got out of bed, quickly dressed, and walked out the door. He felt like an asshole, but he was on the verge of having a panic attack. Had he moved too quickly? Had he not been as ready as he thought he’d been? Why was he freaking out?

  Just as he climbed into his truck, his phone rang. It was Fitz.

  “Hey, Fitz, now is not a—”

  “Leo’s awake, and he’s asking for you.”

  The pressure in his chest eased some. “I’m on my way. Are you at the hospital?”

  “I was. The guys have been taking shifts, so Red is there now. I’m going home to freshen up.”

  “You mind meeting up with me after I see Leo?”

  “Of course not, hon. Just text me.”

  “Thanks.” Saint headed for the hospital. He turned on his radio, hoping the music would help calm him or give him some clarity. An idea occurred to him, and he made a quick pitstop before getting back on the road. His thoughts were racing and since no clarity or calm was forthcoming, he decided to focus on Leo. At least that’s what he told himself, but like usual, his brain did whatever the fuck it wanted.

  By the time he’d parked, he was no closer to an answer. Putting that thought aside for now, he grabbed his little gift, went inside, and informed the nurse at the front desk that he was there to see a patient. Once he was signed in, he headed for Leo’s recovery room. A huge weight lifted off his shoulders, knowing Leo would be okay. Logically, he knew he wasn’t to blame for Leo’s injuries, but his heart still gave him a hard time.

  In the five years since he’d started at Four Kings Security, he’d become part of a family, and he knew a big part of that was down to The Boyfriend Collective, especially Fitz and Leo. They had a way of seeing something in people. Like they could see into someone’s soul. Saint had never encountered anything like it before.

  The door was closed, so Saint knocked before he let himself in, making sure to close the door behind him.

  “Hey, buddy.” He froze when he saw King. Why he was surprised, he had no idea. Of course, King would be here. He probably should have thought of that before he showed up.

  King jumped to his feet; his hands balled into fists at his sides. “What are you doing here?”

  “I’m sorry, um—” Saint quickly backed up, ready to get out of Dodge, when Leo spoke up.

  “I asked for him,” Leo said, staring at King, confused.

  “When?”

  “When you went to the bathroom.”

  “Why?” King growled. “He needs to leave.”

  “Ward,” Leo scolded. “Why are you being mean to Saint?”

  “Because he’s the reason you almost died!”

  Leo narrowed his eyes at King. “Why are you shouting?”

  “Because I’m pissed.”

  “I can see that.” Leo moved his gaze to Saint. “Did you shoot me?”

  “What? No, of course not.”

  “What did you do when you heard the gunshot?”

  “I grabbed you and pulled you to the ground.”

  “And shielded me with your body,” Leo added. He moved his gaze back to King, his eyes narrowed again. “I remember everything. Saint did what he was trained to do. Why are you mad at him for it?”

  Saint’s jaw almost hit the floor when King’s face turned red.

  “I, um, because he could have done better.” King sat down again and took Leo’s hand in his. “Sweetheart, you could have been killed.”

  Leo eyed him. “But I wasn’t, and if I had died, it still wouldn’t have been Saint’s fault.”

  “Geez, love. Can you not talk like that?”

  “Is there a problem with the way I talk?”

  This time, it was King who looked mad. “You know damned well that I love you exactly how you are.”

  Leo smiled. “Good. And I do know.” The frown returned to his face. “You did something because no one will tell me what happened when you got to the hospital. I was worried and wanted to know you were okay.”

  King glanced at Saint, and Leo poked a finger in King’s direction.

  “Ha! I saw that. What did you do, Ward?”

  Saint quickly stepped in. “It’s fine, Leo. He was just upset. No big deal.”

  Leo was not buying it for a minute. For an adorable nerd, he had a pretty terrifying glare. Cute. But also terrifying.

  King let out a heavy sigh. “I let my grief and temper get the better of me and tried to take it out on Saint verbally and physically. Also, I fired him.”

  Leo gasped. “Ward Kingston, you unfire him right now!”

  “Sweetheart, I—”

  “No.”

  There was that glare again.

  “Leo—”

  “I said no.”

  Wow. It took everything Saint had not to laugh. Leo was not messing around. Oh, but he had King wrapped around his little finger. The thing was, King knew it, and something told Saint his boss was perfectly happy with it.

  “I didn’t mean it,” King said with a sigh. He met Saint’s gaze. “You were never really fired. I know it wasn’t your fault.”

  “I didn’t hear an apology anywhere in there,” Leo said, one eyebrow arched at King.

  Saint waved a hand. “That’s not necessary.”

  “I think it is,” Leo said. “When we hurt someone we care about, we apologize. How else do they know we’re sorry and that we do care?”

  “You’re right,” King said. He stood and came around the bed to stand in front of Saint. He held out a hand to Saint. “I’m sorry I was such an asshole. I know you did everything you could to keep him safe, and I won’t forget that.”

  A lump formed in Saint’s throat, and he shook King’s hand, laughing when he was pulled into a tight bear hug.

  “That’s better,” Leo chirped.

  King released Saint, and he walked to the bed. He handed Leo his gift.

  “Goldfish crackers!” Leo took the bag, his smile huge. “Thanks.”

  “How are you feeling?”

  “Like I’ve been shot.”

  He said it so matter-of-factly that Saint couldn’t help but laugh.

  “That sounds about right.”

  “If you mean emotionally, I’m fine. Well, not fine because there’s bound to be some psychological repercussions, but physical recovery comes first, and then we’ll work on the rest. Also, I was worried about my family and didn’t know if anyone else had been hurt or worse. And I was worried about Ward because I knew he would be hurting, though he shouldn’t have been mean to you.” Leo threw another narrowed gaze at his boyfriend before turning back to Saint as if nothing had happened. “Then I woke up a bunch of times but was so out of it.” He snickered. “Oh man, I had some weird dreams.” He blinked at Saint. “You were in them! Well, everyone was in them. I think we were in the Lego Batman movie, which is weird because I don’t usually have DC dreams.”

  As opposed to...Marvel dreams?

  “Let me guess. King was Batman?”

  Leo snorted. “No, I was Batman. Though I would have preferred to be the Flash.”

  “So if you were Batman in your dream, that made King…Robin or Cat Woman?” He was dead. Saint was dead. But he couldn’t help it. When was he going to get another opportunity like this? Plus, he had Leo to protect him.

  “Well, Robin, obviously.”

  “Obviously.” Saint nodded and fought back his laughter. “Are we talking original 1960s Robin, nipple-suit Robin, or…?”

  “I’m about to undo your unfire,” King said. “Thanks for visiting. Goodbye.”

  Saint laughed as he inched closer to Leo. “Who was I?”

  “Aquaman. But like the cool new badass Aquaman, not the guy in the green tights who rode a white seahorse and talked to fish.”

  “Thanks, man.” He glanced at King and wanted to laugh so hard. Moving his gaze to Leo, he put a hand to his heart. “I’m so glad you called. You just made my week.” His expression softened. “I’m happy you’re on the mend, Leo.”

  “Thanks. Thank you for risking your life for me. I know why you felt bad. I would have felt awful if you’d been hurt or killed trying to protect me.”

  “No sense in worrying about what didn’t happen, okay? You get better.”

  Leo yawned and let his head rest on the pillow. “I’m sleepy.”

  “Okay.” Saint went to the door, King joining him.

  “I sincerely apologize for my behavior. I know better than anyone what this job is, and I never should have blamed you.”

  Saint glanced at Leo, checking he was asleep. The poor guy was out. Saint turned his attention back to King. “It wasn’t your fault either. We’re all a bunch of stubborn assess, so I get wanting to blame yourself, but you’re no more at fault than I am.”

  King nodded, but Saint was sure his friend and boss didn’t honestly believe that. Saint hoped Leo would be able to knock some sense into him.

  “Thanks for coming by,” King said.

  “Let me know if you need anything.” With that, he left the hospital and called Fitz. “Hey, you free to meet up?”

  “Sure. There’s a cute little coffee and pastry shop downtown. You can buy me a Chai latte and a pain au chocolat.”

  “You got it. Text me the address.” He hung up, and his phone pinged with the address. Sure enough, as Saint suspected, the coffee shop was a fancy little French place with lots of gold accents, mirrors, gilded signage, and expensive coffee.

  Fitz was already inside, and he waved cheerfully from one of the booths at the back. Today’s ensemble was a trendy cropped denim jacket with sleeves rolled up to the elbows over a white V-neck T-shirt.

  Saint slid into the booth. “How are you wearing a jacket? It’s like eighty degrees outside.”

  “It’s like you don’t know me. I recommend le café viennois. It’s delicious.”

  “Be right back.” Saint went to the counter and put in their order. He also ordered a chocolate croissant for himself because they looked so good. Then he carried their tray to the table and sat down. He sucked in some of the whipped cream on his coffee. “Damn, this is good.”

  “Told you.” Fitz took a sip of his latte.

  “Val and I had sex this morning.”

  The coffee in Fitz’s mouth was now on Saint’s shirt.

  “Oh my god.” Fitz grabbed several napkins and shoved them at Saint. “I would apologize, but I’m not sorry. Are you trying to kill me? Why would you say that while I’m drinking?”

  “Sorry,” Saint muttered as he wiped his shirt. Good thing he was wearing a dark T-shirt.

  Wiping his mouth with far more finesse than Saint possessed, Fitz comported himself. “Care to elaborate?”

  Saint eyed him. “Like, details? Because I’m not comfortable with that.”

  “No, not details,” Fitz hissed, his gaze narrowed at Saint. “I mean, care to elaborate on how it went? Like emotionally, where are you at right now?”

  “Emotionally, I’m a hot mess right now. I ran out on him, Fitz. We had sex, and I ran out on him.” Saint groaned and dropped his head into his hands. “I can’t believe I did that to him.” He lifted his head and met Fitz’s sympathetic gaze. “Last night, I told him I was all in, I told him I wanted him, and when he gives me exactly what I ask for, I freak out and run away. I’m such an asshole.”

  “Honey, you’re not an asshole. It wasn’t great, but I’m sure Val will understand.”

  “I told him I loved him.”

  Fitz leaned forward, eyes wide. “And?”

  “And, he said he loved me too.”

  An excited squeal escaped Fitz, and he did some kind of happy shimmy in his seat. Flipping his hair away from his face, he put a hand on his chest. “I knew it was meant to be. I’m so happy for you.”

  “I’m happy for us too. Except for the whole me-running-out-after-sex thing.”

  “Right. Do you think maybe having sex with him made it too real? Not that it wasn’t real enough before. You don’t need sex to have a meaningful relationship. What I mean is that maybe by having sex with him, it sank in that you were in a relationship with a man.”

  “I thought that was it, but…I don’t know. It doesn’t quite feel right.” It made sense, but it also didn’t. Being with Val made him happy, excited. He was also comfortable and never hesitated when Val kissed him or touched him. With Val, his thoughts were never about what he was doing with a man. They were about Val and how he never wanted the amazing feeling to end. “Why am I such a mess?”

  “Don’t be so hard on yourself. Talk to Val. I’m sure he’ll understand.”

  “I know he will. He’s so good, and so patient, and just….” He sighed. “He’s so amazing. And I’m….” Old insecurities flooded back, and he frowned into his fancy coffee.

  “What? What’s going through your head right now?” Fitz asked.

  “What if I’m not enough for him? What if he thinks I’m not worth the trouble and leaves?”

  Fitz sat up. “That’s it.”

  “What’s it?”

  “Oh, hon.” Fitz reached out and placed his hand on Saint’s. “You didn’t run out on Val because of the sex.”

  “I didn’t?”

  “No. Think about it. When were you last in love?”

  Saint frowned. “With Alicia. My ex-wife.”

  “You thought you’d found your happy ever after. And what happened? She left you. She fell in love with someone else. How did you feel after that?”

  Saint arched an eyebrow. “Not great. I felt really shitty.”

  “I mean, what ran through your head when she told you she was leaving you because she fell in love with someone else?”

  Saint thought hard about that day and how it felt like his world was falling apart. He’d known their marriage wasn’t perfect and that his being away for extended periods of time had often been the source of their arguments. Still, when he returned home, the last thing he’d expected was a confession of an affair, followed by divorce papers.

  Realization set in. “The thought that kept running through my head was that I hadn’t been enough. That I must not have been worth it.” A lump formed in his throat. “Holy shit, you’re right.”

  The only time he’d ever been in love, he’d thought that was it for him. Then when his wife left him, he’d blamed himself. Because if he’d been enough, if he’d been worth it, she wouldn’t have fallen for someone else, right?

  “I can see spending the rest of my life with Val. But I thought I had the same thing with Alicia and look how that turned out.”

  “Val is not Alicia. Sometimes we have to lose something to make room for something even better. We might not know it then, and it hurts like hell, but we see the truth later. I thought my ex and I were going to get married. We’d been together ten years. And as painful as that experience was, I’m grateful because the Universe put Jack in my path, and Jack is a good man who loves me and wouldn’t change anything about me. When I moved, he saw how many clothes I had and told me to take the guest room closet. He had no idea I would fill it with fluffy sweaters, but he didn’t bat an eye. You know what he did?”