Noel let his head fall back with a groan. He shook his head. “See? Everything I do or say ends with him running away.”

  “I don’t think he runs away because of what you say,” Fitz said, putting in his order for fish and chips with the waiter. “He runs because he’s so smitten with you that he panics.” It was sweet, though Fitz was certain Merry didn’t think so—poor guy.

  Noel’s smile was wide. “Really?”

  “Yep. So the problem isn’t whether he has feelings for you—he very clearly does—it’s how to help him so he doesn’t short-circuit the second you look at him.” Fitz gave Merry’s dilemma some thought. “I have a few ideas.”

  “I’m all ears,” Noel replied. He took a sip of his beer. “From the moment he arrived in town, I was just….” He shook his head, his smile warm. “I was swept away. He’s so beautiful and amazing. But like you said, any time I so much as look at him, he runs off.”

  Something occurred to Fitz. “Where have you mostly tried to approach him?”

  “Um, around town.”

  “What about at the café?” Fitz asked.

  Noel cringed. “Well, the last time I was in there, he tripped over something behind the counter and fell. I’m afraid if I go back in there while he’s working a shift, he might hurt himself.”

  “How about I talk to him first, then you go in there for coffee. I’ll let you know when. How’s that sound?”

  Noel beamed at him. “That would be amazing. Thank you.”

  They spent the next couple of hours chatting about the town and how the decorating was going. When they were done, Fitz thanked Noel for inviting him and promised he’d get in touch about Operation Merry Noel.

  That night, Fitz had intended to spend some time with Jack, but he fell asleep sometime after eleven, and when he woke the next morning, Jack had already left. After breakfast, Fitz decided to drop in on his love. Sadly, his boyfriend not taking care of his health while obsessed with a job was not something new. Before he and Fitz got together, the Kings and Joker often had to force Jack to come up for air, including sending him home, especially when he slept in his office or stopped getting enough sleep altogether. Fitz feared Jack was spiraling again.

  So far, Jack seemed to be on that path with all the long hours he’d been putting in at work. This time, it felt different, but Jack hadn’t mentioned anything, and they talked about everything. Maybe he’d gently bring it up.

  Fitz headed down the main street toward the Ice Castle, loving how it looked. They’d managed to get all the garland and lights up, and later, they’d add all the finishing touches. Flurries of snow fell, and somewhere in the distance, Christmas music played. It was such a contrast to Christmas time at home.

  Arriving at the Ice Castle, he let himself in through the front door when he heard it.

  “I’m fine!”

  “You’re not fine, asshole!”

  Uh-oh. It sounded like Jack and Joker were getting into it. Not an uncommon occurrence. The two fought all the time. They were like brothers, having known each other since high school. They quickly forgot what they’d been fighting about most of the time and carried on as if nothing had happened. Fitz could tell those fights from the serious ones. Those were usually reserved for when one of them was really worried about the other. Heaven forbid they say they were worried.

  “I bet he doesn’t know. You haven’t told him, have you.”

  “It’s not a big deal. He doesn’t need to know.”

  Fitz frowned. He and Jack did not keep things from each other. There had to be an explanation for whatever Joker was referring to.

  “He’s your boyfriend and he loves you, you fuck. Of course, he needs to know.”

  Fitz walked into the room, one eyebrow arched. “What don’t I need to know?”

  Jack groaned. “Nothing.”

  “Hmm, considering I can hear you two from down the hall, I’d say it sounds like something.”

  Joker thrust a hand at Jack. “Your asshole boyfriend hasn’t eaten anything since breakfast yesterday.”

  Fitz blinked at Joker. “That can’t be right.” He turned to Jack. “Yesterday, I brought you lunch and an afternoon snack and gave Joker your dinner to bring to you.” He’d taken great care to ensure Jack had three balanced meals, snacks, and plenty of water. The guilty look on Jack’s face said it all. “You didn’t eat any of it?” Fitz noticed the growing stash of untouched water bottles. “Are you not hydrating either?”

  “Of course, he isn’t,” Joker growled. “Yesterday, he lost track of the time like he always does, and by the time he came up for air, the food was inedible, so he threw it away. And then lied about it.”

  “Fuck off, Sacha. Your boyfriend might need constant babysitting, but I don’t.”

  Fitz gasped but didn’t have time to intervene because Joker lunged at Jack, the two of them hitting the floor.

  “You fuck!” Joker straddled Jack and punched him in the face. “He has a medical condition, asshole! I can’t believe you!”

  “Get the fuck off me,” Jack growled, swinging at Joker only to have Joker smack his arm away.

  Oh no. There was no way Fitz could break up a fight between two former Green Berets. Especially two hotheaded, stubborn Green Berets. He ran out into the hall.

  “Lucky! Mason!”

  “What’s wrong?” Mason asked, poking his head out of the kitchen.

  “Jack and Joker are fighting.”

  “They’re always fighting,” Lucky replied as he walked into the hall. “It’s what they do. That and annoy people.”

  “No, I mean, they’re fighting. Jack said something about Gio.” What the hell was his boyfriend thinking? He wasn’t. This wasn’t like Jack at all.

  Lucky’s eyes went huge, and he cursed in Spanish. He and Mason bolted toward him, running into the room.

  “You’re a dick, Constantino,” Joker spat as Lucky grabbed him and dragged him off Jack while Mason pulled Jack to his feet, a hand against his chest to keep him back.

  Jack snorted. “That’s funny, coming from you.”

  “What the hell’s got your tails up,” Mason demanded in his thick Texas accent.

  “Ask him.” Jack thrust a hand in Joker’s direction. “He’s been on my ass since yesterday.”

  “You know what? End up in a hospital, asshole! See if I care.” Joker stormed out of the room, and Fitz glowered at Jack.

  “What? Now you’re going to get on my case too?”

  Mason cringed and quickly grabbed Lucky’s arm. The two of them hauled ass out of there.

  “Excuse me?” Fitz planted his hands on his hips. What the hell had gotten into him?

  “I don’t need you nagging me too.”

  Fitz’s eyebrows shot up. “Nagging? Nagging.” Oh no, he did not. He put up a finger and met Jack’s gaze. “I suggest you check that tone and think about what you said. Now, I’m going to talk to your best friend, a man who is like a brother to you, who did not deserve your hostility for doing nothing more than care about you, and when I come back, you better have a sincere apology ready.”

  Jack narrowed his eyes, but Fitz crossed his arms over his chest before he could speak up.

  “Do you want to go there, Jack?”

  Jack dropped into one of the empty chairs with a grunt, and Fitz hurried out after Joker, catching up with him outside on the sidewalk. The temperature had dropped—and not just outside. Fitz was ready to return to his room in front of the fire with his princess and a cozy blanket.

  “Your boyfriend is a fucking asshole.”

  Fitz stepped in front of Joker and sighed. “He can be. Yes. Thank you for looking out for him. I should have known he wasn’t taking care of himself. He’s been too quiet.”

  “It’s not your fault,” Joker grumbled. “He’s so fucking stubborn.”

  “A trait we all share,” Fitz teased. He kissed Joker’s cheek. “He didn’t mean what he said. You know that.”

  Joker grunted. “I know.” He shoved his hands into his coat pockets. “I just hate when he gets like this. It’s infuriating. He’s supposed to be smart.”

  “He is. And sometimes that big brain of his works against him.” It was one of the traits Jack shared with Leo. The two were so smart and hyper-focused that the world around them disappeared when they got lost in their heads doing something.

  “I know,” Joker muttered.

  “I’ll talk to him,” Fitz promised.

  Joker seemed to mull something over when he spoke up. “He needs to treat you better.”

  Fitz was thrown for a loop by Joker’s words. So much so that he didn’t have a reply. With a squeeze to his arm, Joker walked off. What was going on? With a frown, Fitz returned to the Ice Castle, jumping when a loud crash resonated through the empty building. Fitz hurried to the storage room where Jack was, coming to an abrupt halt at the sight of the table on its side, tools scattered all over the floor.

  “Jack?” Fitz said softly. “Talk to me. What’s going on?” He walked over to Jack and cupped his face. “Baby?”

  Jack let out a heavy sigh. He pulled Fitz into his arms and buried his face against Fitz’s neck. “I’m sorry,” Jack murmured. He pulled back and dropped into the empty chair, his gaze lowered. “Sacha’s right. I don’t deserve you.”

  “Let’s not go that far.” Fitz draped his coat on the chair, then walked over and straddled Jack’s lap. “Baby, what’s going on?” He ran his fingers through Jack’s hair, his heart squeezing in his chest. He’d been fooling himself. He missed Jack. So much. Fitz basked in his sweet man’s warmth and softness. Mm, he smelled so good.

  Jack closed his eyes and wrapped his arms tight around Fitz. He buried his head in Fitz’s neck. “I’m so sorry. I’m just….”

  “Exhausted? Hungry? Missing me?”

  “Yes?”

  Fitz chuckled. “Well, I’m here. As for the third, how about you finish up for the day and come back to the cabin with me?” Ever since Jack took on fixing the Ice Castle, they hadn’t had any time to themselves. No cuddling, no getting cozy in front of the fire and no getting frisky or making love.

  Jack sighed. “I can’t. I have to finish this. I can’t afford time off.”

  “Time off?” Fitz gently pushed Jack’s shoulders, so he sat back. He cupped Jack’s face. “Baby, sleeping is not time off, and I know you’re not getting enough sleep.” Now that he sat so close, he could see the dark circles around Jack’s eyes. “What time did you leave the cabin this morning?”

  Jack averted his gaze. This was not good.

  “Jack.”

  “Four.”

  Fitz straightened. Wait. Jack had been getting in very late every night. “What time did you get in last night?”

  “I don’t want to say,” Jack murmured. Fitz gave him a pointed look, and Jack groaned. “One-thirty.”

  Fitz gasped. Two-and-a-half hours of sleep, if that. He pushed himself off Jack’s lap, hands on his hips. Jack’s cringe told Fitz his boyfriend knew how mad he was. But instead of arguing, the back of Fitz’s eyes stung. He was not going to do this. Certainly not here or now. Fitz whirled around, snatched up his coat, and put it on as he marched out of the room.

  “Fitz, wait!” Jack ran after him and took hold of his arm. Fitz stopped but didn’t turn around.

  “If this had been a one-time thing, or if it scarcely happened, it would be one thing, Jack, but I can’t remember the last time you took any time off. This has been happening more often than not lately, and I’m terrified.” The tears welled in his eyes. “I love you, Jack. And I understand how passionate you are about your job. But barely getting any sleep and skipping meals is not passion. Something is wrong, and you won’t talk to me about it. I just…I need to go.”

  Jack released him, and Fitz hurried off. He sent a quick text to Joker, asking him for a ride back to the cabin. When the SUV rolled to a stop next to him, and he climbed in, Joker took one look at him and got them moving without a word.

  Chip sensed Fitz’s sadness and jumped onto the back seat. He put his head on Fitz’s lap and gazed up at him with those irresistible puppy eyes, making Fitz smile. He inhaled deeply and closed his eyes. Jack would come around.

  At least Fitz hoped so.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  You don’t deserve him.

  Jack stared down at the text on his phone from his best friend. Joker was right. He was an asshole. His heart pounded in his ears as he dropped into the chair. Fitz was the best thing to ever happen to him, and he’d just been such an asshole. Jack let his head fall in his hands.

  “Fuck.”

  “Far be it from me to tell you how to run your life,” Mason said from the doorway, making Jack lift his head. “I know you’re dancing like hot grease on a skillet right now, but I suggest you go after your man. You wanna fix something, Jack? Fix what you just did. You are worrying him to death, and that ain’t right.”

  “Mason—”

  “You wanna mess things up with Fitz?” Mason growled.

  “No, of course not.”

  “Then move your ass.” He turned and grumbled something about needing to be saved from stubborn men.

  Jack quickly pulled on his coat and hurried outside. He had to make it up to Fitz. They had a lot to talk about. It took him longer than he’d hoped to find a ride because the guys had taken both SUVs back to the cabin, which meant he had to ask someone for a ride. Unfortunately, that someone turned out to be Noel.

  “Thanks for the ride,” Jack said, climbing into the passenger side of Noel’s red pickup truck. He’d noticed that a lot of the vehicles in Winterhaven were red. Weird.

  “No problem.” Noel got them moving, and as Jack expected, they sat in awkward silence for a good part of the ride. Finally, Jack couldn’t take it anymore.

  “How was your dinner with Fitz?”

  “Great. I had a really good time. You have one hell of a guy.”

  Jack sighed and shook his head at himself. “Yeah.”

  “He adores you, you know.”

  “Oh?” Jack’s heart skipped a beat.

  “Yeah, the way his face lit up when he talked about you. How smart and talented you were, how passionate you are about your work.” Noel paused, seeming to consider something. “I know it’s none of my business, and I don’t know you two very well, but your boyfriend misses you.”

  Jack swallowed hard. “I messed up.”

  “Fitz is easy to talk to. I’m sure you’ll be able to work things out.”

  “Thanks.” What did it say about him that even someone they’d just met was concerned about his relationship with Fitz, and he hadn’t even known something was wrong?

  “And I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression of me. I would never go after a guy I knew was attached. Fitz is helping me with, um, someone else.”

  “Oh!” Jack laughed. “You’re the matchmaking emergency.”

  Noel chuckled. “Yeah.”

  “That makes perfect sense,” Jack said, his heart full at the thought of his beautiful boyfriend. “Fitz loves love. He has a unique way of seeing things, and somehow, he can sense when two people are right for each other.” His smile dimmed. “Don’t be as stubborn and shortsighted as me. I spent two years thinking about Fitz, hoping for more, and after all the heartache and danger we faced to be together, I’m risking it all because I’m too stubborn to lean on him or anyone else.”

  “Hey, at least you’re seeing it before it’s too late.” Noel pulled up to the cabin and smiled. “Good luck.”

  “Thanks. You too.” Jack hopped out and hurried up the steps to the front door. Inside, the house was filled with the sound of his brothers, many of who were gathered in the kitchen. Ace was in the living room with Colton and their new fur baby, Cocoa.

  Ace turned Cocoa to face Jack. “Look, Cocoa. It’s Uncle Jack. That’s right. The Uncle Jack who made Uncle Fitz sad.”

  “Are you seriously using your puppy to make me feel even worse?” Jack asked as he hung up his coat.

  “You bet.” Ace pointed to Cocoa’s furry head. “Look at that face. That’s the face of disappointment.”

  Jack arched an eyebrow. “That’s the face of someone who eats his own poop.”

  Colton snickered, and Ace scrunched his nose. “We’re working on that,” Ace murmured.

  “Have you seen Fitz?” Jack asked.

  “No. Sorry,” Colton said. “We didn’t see him when we got in, and he hasn’t come downstairs.”

  “Thanks.” Jack went upstairs to their bedroom at the end of the hall. He stood outside the door and paused. He didn’t hear anything. Was Fitz asleep? Jack cracked open the door, but when a fluffy bouncing poodle didn’t meet him, he knew Fitz wasn’t in their room. With a sigh, he took a quick shower and dressed in sweatpants, a black t-shirt, and thick socks. He left their room in search of his boyfriend.

  Fitz hadn’t been in the kitchen because Jack would have seen or heard him when he walked through the front door. The house had several gathering rooms, a library, and a billiard room with a bar. Fitz was in none of those. Then he remembered the most likely place Fitz would be. He should have started there.

  Heading to the movie room, he stopped in the doorway. Fitz sat with his legs pulled up on the plush couch, wrapped up to his neck in a fluffy blanket with Duchess curled up against him. While You Were Sleeping played on the giant screen.

  “That bad, huh?” Jack asked softly as he walked into the room. Sandra Bullock rom-coms were Fitz’s go-to comfort movies. Duchess hopped off the couch and bounced excitedly, her butt wiggling fiercely, making him chuckle. Before walking farther into the room, he gave her lots of pets and love. He spotted the box of tissues and doubted those were for the movie. Fitz’s eyes were red, and Jack’s heart hurt. He hated knowing he was the cause of his sweet boyfriend’s tears, that he’d made Fitz worry like this.

  Jack sat next to Fitz, who side-eyed him warily. “Baby, I am so sorry. You’re right about everything. I’m sorry I worried you. I’m an ass.”

  Fitz sniffed and pulled his arm out from beneath the blanket. He patted his lap, and with a relieved sigh, Jack lay down, his head on Fitz’s lap. Duchess resumed her spot on the couch to Fitz’s other side and curled up.