Sleigh it aint so, p.7
Sleigh It Ain't So,
p.7
Joker nodded fervently and breathed in deep through his nose, then let it out through his mouth, little puffs of air coming out from behind his scarf. “Fuck. I only glanced at it. I glanced at the stupid ring, and I could see it on his finger, and oh, man.” Joker doubled over, his hands on his knees. “Is this how you felt when Colton mentioned you marrying Fitz?”
Jack threw his arms up. “Does everyone know about that?”
“Yep.”
“I didn’t freak out,” Jack grumbled. “I was just caught off guard by it, that’s all.”
“So you’ve thought about it?”
“Well, yeah. I mean, I want to build a life with him. But that doesn’t mean we have to get married. Not everyone does, you know.”
“But you want to.”
Jack thought about it and smiled, warmth filling him. “Yeah, I do.”
“I don’t like this trend,” Joker growled, folding his arms over his chest, quite the challenge considering how puffy his winter coat was.
“What trend? And can we maybe start walking back toward civilization?”
Joker rolled his eyes and started walking. “The trend of one of us doing something so everyone else has to fucking do it. First, Ace got a boyfriend, then everyone else got a boyfriend. Then he got married, and now everyone else is getting married.”
“Are you saying that we’re all following Ace’s example? Because that’s terrifying.”
Joker threw his arms up. “I don’t know. I need to blame someone, and he’s the most qualified for the job.”
Jack snorted. He’d known Joker a long time, and his friend had always hated change. More than most. Especially when things were going well in his life. It was a childhood trauma response he’d never really healed from.
“No one’s going anywhere,” Jack replied quietly.
Joker frowned. “I know that. I mean, deep down, I do, but…there’s always that part of me that fears I could lose it all.” He stopped and met Jack’s gaze. “I have so much to lose, Jack.”
“Hey, you’re never going to lose us. Hell, our family went from us two, to six, to the freaking Brady Bunch. With our track record, we’re more in danger of gaining annoying family members than losing.” The fact remained that Jack knew neither of them would change a thing. They were fortunate to have their, at times, overly dramatic family.
Joker laughed softly. “Yeah. Good thing Colton and Ace have a mansion, or we’d have to move our family barbecues to a damned stadium.” He playfully bumped into Jack’s arm. “Thanks.”
“No problem. I guess we could both use a good kick in the ass sometimes.”
“You really going to promote Maury?” Joker asked as they finally made it back to the market square.
Jack wasn’t surprised his friend had heard, which meant everyone else had. “Yep. King mentioned having a meeting when we got back. I think he’s on board with all of us stepping back a bit. We’ve all been working non-stop since opening Four Kings Security. Then there’s the whole Tampa branch thing.”
Joker nodded. His phone dinged, and he checked his messages. “Looks like Gio’s talking to Clara. See you back at the cabin.” He went off searching for Gio while Jack went to find Fitz, who’d texted him to let him know he was in the field behind the stalls with Red and Laz building a snow poodle.
On his way to Fitz, something caught Jack’s eye, and he doubled back to one of the stalls. “Excuse me. Would that take long to personalize?”
“Not at all,” the young woman chirped.
“Perfect.” He told her what he wanted, and a few minutes later, he had his little gift. Jack laughed as he neared Fitz, Red, Laz, and the snow poodle with a pink bow on its head. “Gee, I wonder who that is?”
“Just in time,” Fitz replied. “Our snow poodle is complete, and I’m ready to be warm again.”
“We’ll head back with you,” Laz said, taking Red’s hand. “I’m all snowed out.”
They returned to the cabin, where Red and Laz joined King and Leo in the kitchen. Jack followed Fitz upstairs, where they shed their layers, or in Fitz’s case, many, many layers.
Jack tucked his small gift box in his nightstand drawer and followed Fitz into the bathroom. They took their time in the shower, kissing and caressing. How long had it been since they’d done something as simple as shower together? With Jack coming in at all hours, sometimes they barely saw each other.
Not anymore. Things were going to change.
When they dressed in their pajamas and climbed into bed, Duchess curled up in her fluffy princess bed near the window, the snow falling outside creating the perfect ambiance, Jack pulled the box from the nightstand drawer. He turned and held it out.
“I got you a little something.”
Fitz gasped. “Aw! You’re so sweet.” He kissed Jack’s cheek and opened the box, his expression softening at the glass ornament.
It was heart-shaped with two candy canes making a heart, with the words, “I love you to the North Pole and back” painted above their engraved names and, of course, Duchess’s name beneath theirs.
“Oh, baby, I love it.” Fitz ran a finger lovingly over their names. He gently placed it back in the box and tucked it in his nightstand drawer, then he proceeded to show Jack just how much he loved it, and Jack.
The following day, at breakfast, everyone was talking about the cookie-baking competition, which was a testament to Winterhaven’s magical holiday influence because, since when did Joker care about cookies?
“You are looking forward to decorating cookies?” Jack asked, eyeing Joker.
Joker stared at him like he’d grown antlers. “What? No. I’m looking forward to eating the cookies everyone decorates. Didn’t you read the flyer? The cookies the contestants bake will be handed out to members of the audience who want them. Hello. Free cookies.”
That made more sense.
After breakfast, Red started his practice cookies, as if they would be anything other than delicious. With Fitz, Leo, and Laz helping with the baking, this was the perfect opportunity for Jack to pull Ace to one side.
“Hey, I have a favor to ask.”
Ace gasped, “You need my help? Does it involve decorating King’s office with dozens of Christmas ornaments of Nick Cage wearing a Santa hat?”
“What? No. Definitely no.”
Ace stared at him. “What? Oh, yeah, no, did I say decorate King’s office with dozens of ornaments with Nick Cage wearing a Santa hat? Because that’s not happening. What I meant to say was, how can I help?”
Jack eyed Ace. “You are so weird.”
“Hm, this coming from a man wearing a Christmas sweater that says ‘Tech Support, I’m here to delete your cookies.’”
“Hey!” Jack dropped his gaze to his black knit sweater with pixelated Christmas trees and gingerbread cookies across the chest. “This sweater is awesome. Fitz got me this sweater.”
“And it is indeed awesome. What do you need, bro? I have a puppy about ready to pee on the carpet.” Ace scooped Cocoa up off the floor and nuzzled him. “Why are you so cute? Because you’re my puppy, that’s why. It’s in our genes.”
“You realize he’s a dog and, therefore, does not share your genes.”
Ace narrowed his eyes at Jack. “Don’t science me. Who are you? Leo? What do you need, Jacopo?”
“Don’t call me that.”
“It’s your name.”
“Fine. Anston.”
“Touché. Continue.” Ace rubbed Cocoa’s belly and waited.
“Right. Sorry. So you know about Merry and Noel, right?”
“Cute little blond who short-circuits every time his beardy crush tries to talk to him? Yes. I am aware.”
“Okay, good. Fitz has asked for my help, and I think I know something that might get them in the same room together and help Merry overcome his inability to talk to Noel.”
“I’m all ears.”
Perfect. Jack told Ace his plan. Eight words. That’s all it entailed. Ace looked at him like he was nuts but shrugged and agreed.
“When do you want me to do it?”
“How about after the cookie-baking competition? Merry should be back at the café then.”
“And you’re sure Merry will agree?”
“I’m pretty confident,” Jack said. “Thanks. Also, your puppy is peeing.”
“Shit!” Ace took off, grabbed his coat, and darted out the front door.
“Everything okay?” Fitz asked. “Where was Ace off to in such a hurry?”
“Puppy pee emergency.”
“Ah. Is Operation Merry Noel a go?”
“Yep. Ace is on it,” Jack said, wrapping his arm around Fitz and kissing his cheek.
“Should I be concerned?”
“It’ll be fine. Come on. We have a cookie-baking contest to prepare for.” Because any competition or contest was a family affair. Luckily, it was Red competing, so there was no competition. Red was happy just to be a part of the fun. He didn’t care about winning. Had it been Ace, Joker, or Lucky, there would have been bloodshed and, most likely, something catching fire.
After a few hours of Red baking cookies, which everyone else happily ate and gave their thumbs up to, they helped him pack up all his ingredients and baking tools. Since the cookie-baking event was being held under a big tent in the town square near the market, they brought the dogs along, including Cocoa, who’d be asleep a good portion of the time.
The tent was bigger than Jack expected, not to mention more people were in attendance than he thought there would be. Winterhaven sure liked their baking contests. The baking area was also decked out with multiple ovens, tables, and refrigerators.
“It’s like a small Great British Bake Off,” Fitz said excitedly, sitting at the other end of the row so Duchess could lay on the floor next to him.
There were only four contestants and three judges. Clara stood behind one of the tables, a wireless mic in her hand.
“Welcome to Winterhaven’s holiday cookie-baking contest!”
Everyone clapped and cheered, then settled down as Clara continued.
“There will be three rounds of cookie baking, each round taste-tested by our lovely panel of judges.” She motioned to the three judges, who waved cheerfully at the crowd. He recognized them from different market stalls he and Fitz had visited yesterday. Good choice for judges. Their holiday treats had been delicious. “Let’s get baking!”
The contest commenced, and the crowd cheered the bakers on. Two of the bakers rushed around, getting their ingredients and supplies ready. Red did what he always did and lost himself in the baking. His friend always got this far-off look and a soft smile when he baked.
When they first got together, Fitz told Jack that cooking and baking were Red’s love language. How putting love into the food he was making for people made him happy. It also soothed him, which Red’s therapist agreed was good for his anxiety.
The contest went by much quicker than Jack expected and was fun to watch. At least, he thought so. Then again, he was used to watching all manner of baking shows. His boyfriend was a tad obsessed with them. That and period dramas. Jack could be dancing completely naked in the living room, and Fitz wouldn’t even know it because he was so enthralled in whether Lady What’s-her-name and Lord What’s-his-face managed to escape scandal.
Fitz leaned into Jack to whisper. “Your best friend is falling asleep.”
Jack glanced over at Joker, sitting at the end of the row. He was most definitely dozing. “Do you still have those dog treats in your pocket?”
Fitz nodded. He handed Jack a mini bone biscuit. Jack took it, made sure no one was watching, then flicked it. The mini bone whizzed down the aisle, smacking Joker in the face, then bouncing off where it landed in Chip’s mouth because the moment Chip sniffed that a treat was nearby, he was sitting up and ready.
Joker jumped with a start, and everyone in their row held back their snickers and laughs as Joker looked around, trying to figure out what had hit him. Edible evidence resulted in the perfect crime.
“And…time,” Clara announced. “Bakers, present your cookies.”
Each contestant chose a different shape for their gingerbread cookies. The crowd laughed and cheered when the judges held up Red’s cookies. It surprised no one that Red’s gingerbread men weren’t men but gingerbread dogs with little winter hats and scarves. One was a poodle, which Fitz loved.
Contestant number two made gingerbread reindeer, contestant three made gingerbread bears with little Santa hats, and contestant four made gingerbread Christmas sweaters. They all looked way better than anything Jack could have conjured up. Cooking was not his forte, and who knew what disaster would strike the kitchen if he so much as attempted baking. He’d already murdered two toasters just by touching them.
Jack sent a text to Ace as the contest was nearing the final judging. He leaned into Fitz and whispered, “Operation Merry Noel is about to strike.”
Fitz blinked at him. His gaze went to Ace, sneaking away in an overly suspicious way that said he was clearly up to something. The man was not subtle. With a gasp, Fitz moved his wide eyes to Jack.
“What did you do?”
Jack waggled his eyebrows. “I sent Ace to the café.”
“To do what?” Fitz held his breath at Jack’s wicked grin. Something told him he should have asked Jack what he had planned before giving him the go-ahead. “Jack?”
“I sent him to fix the water pressure.”
CHAPTER NINE
Oh, sweet, merciful Mariah Carey!
“And this year’s Winterhaven holiday cookie-baking contest winner is Red McKinley!”
Everyone jumped to their feet with a cheer, and Fitz did the same, clapping excitedly as Clara handed Red what looked like an etched glass cooking spoon. Red thanked her, made a little bow, and then shook hands with the other contestants, who congratulated him, all looking genuinely pleased for him. And oh, holy night, Jack had sent Ace off to fix the water pressure at the café. Ace was talented at fixing many things. Plumping was not one of those things.
Fitz whirled to face his boyfriend. “We need to go.” He leaned over Jack to whisper at Mason.
“Could you watch Duchess for a while?”
“Sure,” Mason replied. “Come ’ere, princess.”
Duchess jumped to her feet and pushed past everyone to get to Mason, her tail smacking everyone’s legs as she went.
“Let’s go, Jack.”
“But…cookies,” Jack said, pouting as people started flocking to the tables to congratulate all the contestants and eat the free cookies. “Don’t you want Red’s raspberry, thumb-whatever yummy things?”
“I want to make sure no one ends up in the hospital.”
Jack waved a hand in dismissal. “It’ll be fine. Ace will be the one turning on the faucet once he’s finished.”
Fitz groaned. Fine was not a word he would use to describe a man incapable of fixing anything connected to water without something shooting out of the wall. “Did you tell Colton?” Judging by Jack’s blank stare, Fitz would say he had not. “Jack! You didn’t think Colton would want to know that his husband might be about to knock himself out with a kitchen faucet?”
Jack seemed to think about it and shrugged. “He’ll be fine.”
“Ugh!” Fitz pulled Jack out of the aisle with him. They had to help before someone got attacked by a kitchen sink or the café ended up underwater. Thankfully, the walls and floors of the kitchen in the café consisted of tile designed for spillage. Fitz was sure he’d seen a small round drain in the floor.
“How about a cookie for the road?” Jack asked, his smile wide.
Fitz was not impressed and was certain his facial expression said so.
“Fine,” Jack huffed. “Let’s go.”
As they headed toward the side of the tent, Fitz texted Colton, who immediately checked his phone. His eyes went huge, and his head shot up. He sprinted after them as they discreetly walked away. Fitz would apologize to Red later, but Red would understand. He was well aware of what kind of mischief his brothers could get into and the type of injuries that could ensue, which explained why he always had a medical bag ready.
“Really, Jack?” Fitz said, shaking his head. “That’s the best solution you could come up with?”
“What’s the big deal? He ducked last time. He’ll be ready for it.”
Colton sighed. “Not when he’s convinced he fixed the damn water pressure and the shower head flying off was a fluke. This is Ace we’re talking about. He has no concept of what he can’t do. I’ve told him several times that it’s okay. He doesn’t have to know how to fix everything. Of course, it’s Ace, so instead of conceding, he takes it as a challenge.”
Jack snorted. “Of course he does.”
They went from walking briskly to awkwardly jogging. At least the shop owners had shoveled and salted the sidewalks. Thankfully, Mugs and Kisses wasn’t very far. With the majority of the townspeople attending the festivities, the café was empty, which was probably why Jack had picked now to carry out his evil plan.
The moment they stepped inside the café, they were met with shouting and rushing water.
“How do we make it stop?” Merry yelled from somewhere inside the kitchen.
The bell above the door jingled, and Noel came rushing in. “What’s going on? Merry texted me in a panic, saying he needed my help.”
“I barely touched it! Why is there so much water?”
And that was Ace. At least he was conscious and hadn’t knocked himself out.
They ran into the kitchen, and Fitz jumped to the side with a squeal before he was drenched by the shower of water spewing from the sink. Ace had somehow shoved himself inside the cabinet under the sink, or at least half his body.
Poor Merry was drenched, and at least half an inch of water was on the floor. It looked like the drain appeared to be clogged. Although Fitz knew it wasn’t Ace’s fault that the drain was clogged, Fitz still blamed Ace.
Noel rushed over to Merry, took hold of his arms, and checked him over. He ran a hand over Merry’s soaking head, moving his hair away from his face. “Are you okay?”












