Nina leaned forward, gripping his desk’s edge tightly. “What you feel right now is what I feel every time I see Rafe wince. It kills me that I can’t do more. All I can do is be there and show him how much I love him. I didn’t tell you because, as much as I adore you, Hudson, you can be spoiled and selfish sometimes.”

  Hudson stared at her. “I beg your pardon?”

  “You reacted like I thought you would. It’s all about you and how you feel. Rafe is going to end up like Thomas, and you’re upset I chose to protect him. He didn’t want to bring his family any more heartache. He didn’t want his brothers treating him differently or patching things up just because they pitied him. I did what you would have done for Seb.”

  “I—”

  Nina put up her hand to stop him and stood. “Don’t. Don’t treat me like an idiot.”

  “I would never,” he protested angrily, standing.

  “Then don’t act like you’ve always told me everything. I’m not saying I needed to know everything, because I didn’t. What went on between you and Seb was none of my business. As long as you were happy, I was happy. But you always did things your way, no matter what anyone said. You listened, but you still went ahead and did whatever the hell you wanted. Always.”

  “That’s bollocks. How can you say that?”

  “Really? Can you name one time you argued with Seb where you didn’t get your way?”

  Hudson frowned deeply. “There were plenty of times.”

  “Like?”

  “I can’t remember every disagreement we had. If he thought I was so bloody wrong, why did he give in?”

  “Because he’s crazy about you! The man was so damn head over heels in love with you that he’d give in, even if he didn’t agree, just to make you happy. That’s not a sustainable relationship, Hudson, and I think deep down you know that.” Her gaze was unwavering as she leaned her hands on the desk. “That’s the real reason you won’t give him another chance, because if you fuck it up this time, that’s it. There’s no going back.”

  Hudson’s temper flared, and he slammed his hands on the desk. “That’s enough! I don’t know where you’ve gotten that ridiculous notion, but it couldn’t be any further from the truth, and I am done explaining myself to you. I hope you and Rafe are bloody happy together because you deserve each other.”

  Nina flinched. She straightened to her full height. “I know you meant that as an insult, but it’s not to me. He’s a good man who deserves to be loved. He treats me as his equal. We’re a partnership. He’s not a self-righteous asshole.”

  Her words stung, and he opened his mouth for a rebuttal but instead only a choked sound escaped. His vision blurred, and he dropped down in his chair, turning away from her in the hopes of gaining some control over his emotions. He was so damn tired. This wasn’t like him at all. Last night at Dekatria, Seb’s words, hearing from Julia again, Alfie’s death replaying itself in his nightmares over and over… He’d barely slept. It was all catching up to him. A soft touch to his cheek startled him, and he was taken aback to find Nina kneeling beside his chair, her beautiful face void of anger or disdain. She cupped his face, wiping a tear from his cheek with her thumb.

  “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “You’re right. Everything you said…” For years he’d been telling Seb what they’d had was broken, unfixable, and somewhere inside him he feared that had been the case, even before the incident that tore them apart. They loved each other fiercely, of that he had no doubt, but Nina was right. Hudson had always pushed, and Seb gave in. What a fool he was, believing he’d changed. That coming to the States would give him a new life, a different one, but he hadn’t changed at all. He and Seb had been happy, but how long would it have lasted with Hudson’s incessant need to push, to be right, to be so bloody perfect? And Seb gave in every time. Was that really what he wanted from Seb?

  Tears clung to the thick black lashes of Nina’s hooded eyes. How could Rafe’s heart not melt? She was beautiful inside and out, kind, and selfless, unlike Hudson. Nina never hesitated to put someone else’s needs before her own. She wanted to take care of everyone. She deserved to be happy, and if she’d found that with Rafe, Hudson should be excited for her. Who the hell was he to judge? In fact, he should be the last person to judge anyone’s relationship. God, when had he become such a mess?

  “I’m sorry I pushed you away. I missed you.” Hudson sniffed, and his heart swelled when she threw her arms around his neck, squeezing the breath out of him. How could he have been so petty? So pigheaded? It hit him how terribly he’d missed her, missed them, their friendship. He’d been walking around with a Nina-shaped hole in his heart, wallowing in his own self-imposed misery, and he hadn’t even realized what an arse he was being.

  “I love you,” Nina said between sniffs before kissing his cheek.

  “I love you too.” He wiped at his face and smiled up at her when she stood. “Do you forgive me for being such a pillock?”

  She chuckled and nodded, leaning against his desk, her delicate, long fingers gripping his hand firmly. “You know I do.” She worried her bottom lip, and he gave her hand a gentle tug.

  “You can tell me.”

  “How long are you two going to keep dancing around each other?”

  It was a perfectly valid question. One Hudson didn’t know the answer to. Actually, he did. “I’m afraid to let him go, Nina, but I’m even more afraid of… of having him. You’re right. We were broken, and not just because of what happened. Even if we somehow moved past the guilt of that day, we can’t go back to how things were. We’d never last, and knowing it’s over for good would kill me. At least now I have hope. What will I have if things don’t work out? If neither of us has changed? I haven’t changed. You’ve said so yourself.” His heart ached, and the mark on the back of his shoulder blade burned. He’d spent so long refusing to think about what had been and what could never be that the very real possibility of not having Seb in his life terrified him. His inner wolf stirred, whining softly.

  “It doesn’t mean things can’t change,” Nina suggested. “But you need to decide, Hudson. This can’t go on. He gets close, and you let him, only to push him away when you get scared.” She leaned in to cup his face. “Honey, you’re living half a life. You deserve more.”

  Hudson nodded. What else could he say? More importantly, what could he do?

  “Come on, I know something that will cheer you up.” She grabbed his hand, pulled him to his feet, and led him to the door.

  “It’s all right, love. I—”

  “Dex has leftover cookies from last night’s party.”

  “Oh.” Hudson smiled. “Well, in that case, he really should share.” They strolled down the corridor arm in arm, and for the first time in months, he could breathe again. Maybe there was hope for him after all.

  The rest of the day had gone better than expected and was a vast improvement on his morning. After confiscating several of Dex’s biscuits—a result of Hudson and Nina making big puppy eyes at him—they returned to the lab with their tasty treats. They’d been rushed off their feet the rest of the day, but having Nina chatting and laughing with him again made all the difference.

  Hudson was in high spirits, and it was still light out when he left work. He dropped by the market on his way home and picked up some vegetables and beef. The rest of the ingredients he needed he had at home. He hadn’t made Cornish pasties in a while.

  Thomas and his boys loved Hudson’s homemade pasties. Of course, when he used to make them, it was usually over at the Hobbs house, because the number of ingredients and pasties required to feed four tiger Therians was staggering and certainly not something he could do without help. Julia and Seb always pitched in, though Hudson spent a good portion of his time threatening the brothers with imminent bodily harm if they continued to eat his ingredients.

  For now, he made enough for Thomas and a few extras in case one of the boys dropped by. His pasties were secured in a large insulated container he’d slipped into a sturdy rectangular carrier bag that he held on his lap as the cab headed for the Hobbs residence. The butterflies in his stomach fluttered wildly, and he took a deep breath when he arrived. Hudson paid the driver and thanked him before getting out with the large bag. It had been so long since he’d been here.

  Fortifying his nerves, he walked up the pavement to the front steps. The door opened before he reached it, and Julia stood with her hand to her mouth and tears in her big hazel-green eyes. He reached the top step and smiled.

  “Hello, Julia.” His voice cracked, but he managed to keep from blubbering like a baby. She took the bag he handed her, placed it on the table next to the door, then flung herself at Hudson. He caught her with a chuckle and held her as she squeezed him tight. When she pulled back, her wobbly smile made his chest hurt.

  “Oh, sweetie, it’s so good to see you.” She cupped his face. “Just as handsome as the last time I saw you.”

  Hudson swallowed hard. “I wanted to see you and Thomas. I brought him some pasties.”

  “Julia, is that a crazy new air freshener, or do I smell Cornish pasties?”

  Julia laughed. She stepped aside, and Hudson walked in, his heart squeezing at the way Thomas’s smile lit up his handsome face when he saw Hudson. It was hard not to get teary-eyed. His own father had never looked at him the way Thomas Hobbs did. As if nothing made him happier than seeing his son home, because to Thomas, Hudson had been another son. He liked to remind Hudson often, as if knowing Hudson needed to be reassured he was wanted.

  Thomas drove his electric wheelchair forward and stopped in front of Hudson. He looked up at him, the same emerald-green eyes he’d gifted to his younger sons bright with unshed tears.

  “It’s good to see you, son.”

  Hudson pressed his lips into a thin line to keep himself together, but that was made difficult when Thomas lifted the armrests of his electric wheelchair and held his arms out. Hudson didn’t hesitate. He crouched next to Thomas and threw his arms around him, burying his face against Thomas’s broad chest. Thomas’s arms were strong, and being hugged by him was like being enveloped in a protective bubble, like nothing could touch Hudson because Thomas was there to chase away the monsters lying in wait under his bed.

  Thomas petted Hudson’s hair before releasing him, his smile wide when Hudson stood. He took Hudson’s hand and gave it a squeeze. His smile fell away.

  “We wanted to come see you when you were in the hospital, but Seb… He thought it would be best if we didn’t.”

  Hudson nodded. He shoved his hands into his pockets, regret filling him. “He was right. It would have been too difficult. It was hard enough having him there.” Hudson cleared his throat. “He wouldn’t leave my side.”

  Thomas nodded his understanding. “I expected no less of him. Thank you for saving his life. I don’t know what we would have done without either of you.”

  Unable to stand the heartache on Thomas’s face, Hudson pointed to the bag behind him. “I made you my Cornish pasties.”

  Thomas’s eyes sparkled, and he grinned like a little boy. He put the armrest with the controller down and moved to the table to take the bag and place it on his lap. With a deadpan expression, he met his wife’s gaze.

  “If the boys ask, these were never here.”

  Hudson laughed, watching as Thomas headed for the kitchen, calling out over his shoulder, “Especially Ethan. That boy eats more than the other two combined. I swear he has a black hole where his stomach should be.”

  “He’s a growing boy,” Julia cooed, following Thomas into the expansive country-style kitchen. She took the bag from him and placed it on the island counter.

  Thomas let out a snort. “Growing boy my butt. Darling, he’s thirty-six and almost as big as Seb.” He wrapped an arm around her waist and tugged, lifting his face for a kiss, which his wife happily gave. Hudson all but melted, leaning against the counter and wondering how Julia and Thomas did it. They’d been through so much—losing everything, watching their boys have to work before they were of age, working through Ethan’s selective mutism and social anxiety, through Thomas’s condition. How could Julia and Thomas Hobbs survive all that and still look at each other as if they were falling in love for the first time?

  At the first crisis that hit them, Hudson and Seb had crumbled under the weight. Hudson cleared his throat, fidgeting from one foot to the other.

  “How do you do that?” he asked softly. Propriety scolded him for being so intrusive and brash, but he was desperate to know.

  They turned to him, Julia’s hand on Thomas’s shoulder and her expression tender.

  “How do you forge ahead, never losing yourselves or the love you have for each other, after… everything?”

  No question what Seb would look like when he got older—Seb and Ethan were both the spitting image of Thomas Hobbs. At sixty-five years old, Thomas was a handsome man, with a square jaw and green eyes that sparkled with life and mischief. His once-black hair was now salt-and-pepper, and although some of his leg muscles had deteriorated over the years due to his condition, he was still a tiger Therian, strong-bodied and strong-willed. Much like Ethan refused to allow his condition to define him, Thomas refused to be defined by his Therian Acheron Syndrome. Life had never been easy for the Hobbs family, but they endured, always together.

  “Son, love is a precious gift, but love alone isn’t enough to weather the storms in life. You know as well as I do that life can be hard, messy, infuriating, terrifying, and unfair, and love will certainly help ease the pain,” Thomas said, taking Julia’s hand in his. “But unless you use that love as a foundation to build on, you’ll get swept away in the maelstrom.”

  Hudson nodded his understanding. He smiled warmly at Thomas before motioning to the Cornish pasties. “Your secret’s safe with me.”

  Julia placed several pasties on a plate and handed them to Thomas with a kiss. Thomas thanked Hudson for the pasties, then declared he’d be upstairs watching his favorite TV show and instructed Julia on hiding the remaining pasties. Then he looked up at Hudson with those big green eyes filled with hope.

  “Stay for dinner?”

  Hudson caved so quickly it was pitiful. “Of course.”

  With a wink, Thomas took his plate of pasties and was off.

  Hudson turned to Julia, arching an eyebrow at her. “Oh, he’s good.”

  “Honey, that look is how we ended up with three boys. By the time Ethan was born, I made sure I was immune to it.”

  Hudson waggled his eyebrows. “Not completely immune, I’m sure.”

  Julia gasped and playfully swatted his arm with a laugh. “Hush, you.” She pointed to one of the chairs at the large oak dinner table. “Sit your pretty little butt down. We have a lot of catching up to do. Tea?”

  “Yes, thank you.” Hudson took a seat, watching as Julia moved around the kitchen. Everything looked just how it did the last time he was here. He loved her kitchen. It was the biggest, warmest part of the large brownstone, with varnished wooden floors, white cupboards, silver-marble countertops, and state-of-the-art stainless-steel appliances. The Hobbs boys had spared no expense where their family home was concerned. They might have moved out years ago, but this was still home. Even Thomas’s electric wheelchair was high-end. Thomas had been reluctant at first, especially when he discovered how much it cost, but his sons refused to budge. If Thomas was going to be in a wheelchair, his boys were going to make damned sure it was the best out there.

  The large brownstone had cost a mint. Seb and Rafe made the purchase after joining the THIRDS, and once Ethan had joined the organization, he chipped in to help his brothers. By the time Rafe had made it to team leader, the house was paid off. Thomas struggled with his pride for some time after having gone from being the sole breadwinner to having his sons take care of everything. With his family’s help, Thomas learned that depending on a family who loved him and wanted to help didn’t make him weak. Years later, with Therian aid, social security, and the support of their boys, Julia and Thomas lived comfortably without the fear of losing their home a second time.

  The kettle boiled as a classic tune floated up from the digital radio on the counter. Hudson smiled, recalling a time when he’d spent hours at this very table in this same seat with Julia talking and laughing. Often Darla Summers would join them. That reminded him.

  “How’s Darla? I asked Cal about her this afternoon, and he just grunted that she was fine.”

  Julia chuckled as she placed Hudson’s cup of tea in front of him. It was exactly the way he liked it. With a wicked smile that told Hudson some juicy gossip was forthcoming, Julia took a seat across from him with her own tea.

  “Oh, honey, Darla’s got herself a new man.”

  Hudson almost choked on his tea. He dabbed his mouth with a napkin Julia passed him before gaping at her. He leaned in. “When was this?”

  “About three months now. Darla’s crazy about him. He’s a bear Therian. Used to coach college football. He’s retired now. You should see the way he looks at her.”

  “And how does Cal look at him?” Hudson took a sip of his tea. As if he didn’t know the answer.

  “Like he wants to put him on the first ship heading into the Bermuda Triangle.”

  They both laughed. It was hard not to picture Calvin’s face glaring daggers at his mother’s new beau. Calvin was as protective of Darla as he was of Ethan. Hudson couldn’t blame him. Darla was the only family Calvin had next to the Hobbs clan. It had been just the two of them for so long, making one sacrifice after another, trying their hardest to be a family, to make ends meet and survive.

  “Cal’s such a good boy. You know he wants her to be happy, so he’s trying very hard, but trust doesn’t come easy to him. He might be a grown man, but deep down, where Darla is concerned, he’s still a little boy afraid of seeing his mother get hurt again. After what that bastard father of his did to them, who can blame him?”