Ben kissed Ella on the forehead and put her down on the ground. He turned her around and gave her bottom a little smack. “Get going, you imp,” he said. He pulled Anna close for a quick hug and kiss and then released her to Helen.

  Ben leaned back and watched his two little girls walk out of the room with Helen. Ella was a chatterbox and he could still hear her as she turned the corner. It wasn’t too late, so their noise wouldn’t disturb the guests. And if it did, so be it. This was the children’s home.

  He smiled to himself. He had gotten so lucky with his children. His wife would have been so proud of them. It made his heart ache for her.

  He piled up the loose papers on his desk and turned down the lamp. He should head to bed as well, but first a cookie and a cup of warm milk sounded mighty fine to him. He closed his office door and headed towards the kitchen; the letter forgotten between the pages of the ledger.

  Chapter 2

  November 1897, New York City

  Hilde Carter forced a smile under the heat from the stage lights that were beating down on her and her castmates. She was ready to go back to her dressing room and take off her costume, hoping that she would be cooler once the weight of the heavy garment was removed.

  It was the final night of six-months performing Romeo and Juliet, and the cast was ready to take a short break until the new year. The days were filled with rehearsals, and the nights were filled with sold out audiences and thunderous applause.

  No matter how many theater magazines or newspaper articles Hilde was featured in, no praise consumed her more than the sound of the applause from the crowd. This was the one place she felt unconditional love, at the front of the stage. And that love came from a family of strangers.

  She wished she had the same from her parents. Although they loved her dearly, she was often left behind as they went on trips around the world shopping for new merchandise to import to the States. Last she heard they were headed home from overseas with a cargo hold full of silk, spices and tea.

  Hilde felt her hand being squeezed and she looked at the handsome man who played Romeo. “They want you, Amanda,” he said, urging her towards the front of the stage. Amanda Cartier was her stage name. Not many knew her by her given name – Hilde Amanda Carter.

  Hilde gave a large grin, releasing the hands of the people next to her and moved to the front of the stage. She bowed again as the cast gave her a moment to shine.

  The applause became thunderous, as she heard people climbing to their feet. The hairs on her arms stood on end, her body vibrating at the sounds filling the large theater. She lifted her torso, her golden-brown hair slipping over her shoulder. This feeling would never get old, she thought to herself as she smiled and waved.

  A young girl came running up to her with a large bouquet of flowers in her hand and thrust them towards Hilde. Hilde leaned down and gave the girl a kiss on the cheek, accepting the flowers.

  She returned to her spot and joined the cast in waving once more. This truly was the part she loved the most; gratification for a job well done. She lived for the applause.

  The curtain dropped and the people next to her filed towards the side of the stage. She got a few whispers and a few pats on the back.

  “That was lovely Amanda,” one said.

  “Great show Amanda!” another called.

  “You were lovely as ever, Miss Cartier.”

  She answered the praise with grateful thanks, navigating the narrow hallways back to her dressing room. She stopped at the room with her name on the placard outside the door and traced the letters with her fingertips. Amanda H. Cartier.

  Amanda was her mother’s name. Cartier was just different enough from Carter that Hilde didn’t get confused if someone called to her. Hilde had changed her name when she first started performing on stage seven years ago. She had just turned eighteen.

  Hilde spent her childhood stealing her father’s newspapers and cutting out the reviews about the local theaters. She even begged her father to buy her the New York Times, as she wanted to see all the shows on Broadway.

  She walked to the local library between her lessons and read every Shakespeare play available, sometimes acting them out with her dolls. Hilde had always dreamed of seeing a play on the large stage, and for her eighteenth birthday her parents made her dream come true with a surprise train ticket from Philadelphia to New York.

  When she went to New York, she learned of auditions for a new play coming to the stage, so Hilde went to audition for one of the smaller parts.

  Initially, she was met with harsh words and side glances from the more established actresses. They didn’t like her name. She weighed too much. Her nose was too large. She slouched. Her voice wasn’t loud enough.

  She was hurt at the moment, when the director from her first audition berated her about having a folksy name and homely looks. She knew she wasn’t a raving beauty, but there were things she could definitely work on to make her dreams come true.

  When she returned to New York the following year, she wasn’t the same young woman as when she first auditioned. She spent a year working with a tutor to help her walk, talk and act like an industry professional.

  She shed her name and purchased a new wardrobe before heading back to New York. She used her sewing skills to craft a costume that she could wear to audition for the play Macbeth.

  At the next audition, she wore her new costume and used her new name, Amanda Cartier and performed Lady Macbeth’s monologue. She dazzled the director and was offered the role much to the jealousy of the other well-established actresses.

  As Hilde performed play after play, she received more recognition with each role. It didn’t take long until she went from a relative unknown to an in-demand actress with her choice of which shows to participate in.

  When she was offered to be the feature actress at the Baldwin Theater in San Francisco, she jumped at the chance. It was as if all her dreams were coming true. She would be in New York for just a few more days before making the long trek to San Francisco. She wanted to get settled before the new year.

  She wondered if she should take a few weeks and go visit her parents. She hadn’t seen them in nearly a year. She would still have enough time to get to San Francisco before the play starts.

  Hilde removed the engraved door marker and wrapped her hand around it. She would be sure to pack it when she left. She pushed her way through the door of her dressing room and gave a sigh as she dropped in front of the dressing table. She was looking forward to a good night’s sleep; any other decisions could wait.

  She sat for a moment, staring at her reflection in the mirror. She looked tired. Layers of stage makeup hid the dark circles that reflected her lack of sleep. She rubbed her cheek, the makeup transferring to her fingers. Grabbing a small rag next to the vanity, she wiped the makeup from her fingers before placing the rag down on the wooden top.

  She took out her earrings and placed them in the small jewelry box to the side then proceeded to remove the pins from her hair. The golden-brown waves dropped from their constraints and cascaded down her back.

  She was removing the large bracelets around her wrists when she heard the door open. She watched as her assistant Natalie Graham came in, looking tired and frazzled. Wisps of her black hair stuck to her forehead as she walked into Hilde’s dressing room.

  Natalie’s arms were full of bouquets of every color. “Miss Cartier, you were amazing!” she exclaimed, as she set the flowers down on the small table. Natalie reached and plucked an empty vase from the shelf in the corner. She placed one of the bouquets in the vase before reaching to take another vase from the shelf.

  Hilde laughed. She pushed her hair behind her ears and hung her elbows on top of the back of the chair. “You said that last night as well. I don’t know if you are aware, but it is the same show.”

  Natalie shook her head, as she took another bouquet and arranged the flowers in the vase. The flowers fanned out within the glass. “It may be the same words, but I feel that your performance is so different each time I see it. And you are so wonderful playing Juliet,” she said, as she moved the vase to the side of her vanity. She motioned to the flowers. “These are from Poppy. She said she couldn’t stay but wanted to let you know that she would meet you for lunch tomorrow.”

  Hilde rolled her eyes. Poppy was one of the first friends she had made when she came to New York. She was a socialite that Hilde had met at a party. Poppy was only a few years older than Hilde. She was an heiress to a large fortune her family had made in the silver business.

  Poppy was the youngest with four older brothers, so she was more into parties than running the family business. Hilde was envious of the lavish life Poppy led, but the young heiress had taken Hilde under her wing when she was just starting out in this city.

  Poppy had helped Hilde meet some very influential people in New York. People who invited her to go to San Francisco.

  “Did she tell you why she couldn’t stay?” Hilde asked, as she picked up her brush to hand to Natalie.

  Natalie took the brush and started to run it through Hilde’s hair. “No, but I think it might have been because of the man she was canoodling with during the show. They looked quite cozy, if you ask me.”

  “Canoodling?” Hilde said raising her eyebrow in the mirror. Natalie blushed. “That is quite the word. I swear you are picking up bad habits here at the theater,” she teased.

  Natalie laughed and continued to stroke Hilde’s locks. She kept talking and Hilde relaxed, allowing Natalie’s chatter to fade into the background.

  Hilde never understood Poppy’s recklessness. She had heard the whispers about her friend being a loose woman. Hilde actually thought Poppy was more trying to make up for the lack of attention from her family. She did admire her friend though.

  Poppy just didn’t care what people thought about her. She just lived her own life by her own rules. It was something that Hilde wished she had the courage to do. Her upbringing taught her that a woman was to be chaste and quiet, only to be pursued by one man and then to remain faithful once they were married.

  She wondered how Poppy was ever going to find a husband if she flitted around New York City with every available bachelor. When Hilde asked her about it, Poppy scrunched her nose and shook her head, waving Hilde away as if she were an insect.

  “Hilde,” Poppy would say, as she never called Hilde by her stage name, “why would I need to find a husband? I have more money than most gentleman callers have, so I have no need to be shackled to a man. Why waste my time and energy finding one person when I have the chance to know so many?”

  Hilde thought it was the most brazen answer she could have heard, but she loved her friend. Though Hilde didn’t share the zeal her friend showed for the company of many, Hilde did have a plan that included marriage and little ones.

  Someday.

  Right now, she was focusing on her career. She wanted to rise to the top of her field, and perform many different roles, at many theaters across the country. She would have renowned acclaim; a small fortune of her own, and only then would she retire, settling down to have a husband and children.

  As the only daughter of two well-respected business-people in Philadelphia, it was something that she knew would be expected of her. Even though her parents had encouraged her acting, she knew the underlying words that were never spoken: we will give you this, but you are eventually going to have to settle down and be the wife and mother you were born to be.

  Even on her last visit her Momma said that it was time for Hilde to grow up and put aside her little hobby. Momma thought Hilde was too old to be traipsing around the country playing dress up and performing plays. They had a terrible argument and Hilde returned to New York the next day. It was the last time she had seen her parents.

  Hilde had thought by this time in her life, she would have gotten acting out of her system. But even now, as she was sitting in that dressing room, looking at the flowers and the cards that she had received night after night, with the newspapers and magazines that raved about her performances scattered around the room, she couldn’t shake the feeling that she still had much more to experience before settling down. She was even considering the idea that maybe she never would marry.

  She hadn’t told anyone this, not even Poppy, who would be delighted at having Hilde accompany her to all the dinner parties in upper class New York.

  Was it such a horrible idea; not wanting to get married? It wasn’t like she never received any offers. Working in the theater had brought her the attention of many gentlemen lining up to escort her. Some even courted her, but she turned them all down.

  She cared too much for her career; she knew that she wasn’t in the market to get married any time soon. Even being doted on by the upper echelon of New York was becoming boring. She didn’t know how Poppy kept at it.

  She could barely keep up with her callers and she had never given the appearance of impropriety, preferring to keep her reputation intact. In fact, the rumors were that she was cold. Frigid. She wouldn’t even give up a kiss.

  That last rumor was the truth. She hadn’t been kissed, unless you count Robbie Johnson when she was just eight years old in a game of questions and commands. It was a choice between kissing a frog or kissing Robbie. Robbie won.

  She pushed the thoughts aside, concentrating on the way Natalie was brushing her hair. Her assistant was talking a mile a minute about the performance and who she saw in the audience.

  When Hilde had returned to New York after her first tour traveling the country, she had met Natalie at the train station begging for a coin. Natalie was only thirteen or fourteen at the time, living alone on the streets as her parents had abandoned her there.

  Seeing how cold the girl was, Hilde had given her the loose change in her pocket and a scarf that was around her head. The image of Natalie never left her mind, so when she got settled in the theater, she returned to fetch Natalie and bring her to the theater.

  They had been inseparable ever since. Natalie would never call Hilde by her given name. She always called her Miss Cartier.

  Natalie ran errands for her and helped with miscellaneous chores around the theater. But ultimately, Hilde just liked having Natalie around as a calming presence. She felt that Natalie kept her grounded. It was hard to believe that they had been together for four years.

  She often thought if she hadn’t taken Natalie in, she might be in the workhouse or worse by now. The tenements in New York were not the friendliest of places for a homeless young girl.

  She heard Natalie stop talking and she opened her eyes, looking in the mirror behind her, to see the man standing at the door. He was short and round, wearing a bowler hat and a brown suit. He took the hat off, holding it in front of his round stomach, his balding head shining in the dim lights from the hallway. “Miss Hilde,” he said in a scratchy voice.

  “Miss Cartier isn’t having any visitors at the moment” Natalie said in her critical, no nonsense voice, as she set the brush down on the vanity. “If you’d so like, I can make an appointment with you to meet at a later time.”

  There were plenty of people that came after the show, wanting to have a moment with Hilde. But usually, after she had given herself on the stage, she didn’t have enough left to engage with an audience after. She had instructed Natalie long ago to direct any callers after a show to see her at another time.

  But this visitor was different. “Natalie, it’s alright,” she said, as she grasped the young girl’s arm. Natalie turned around, her eyes widening in surprise. “I know him.” She looked past Natalie and smiled at the older man. “Hello Mr. Turner. It’s been too long!” she said, as she stood up from the chair and gracefully glided to him. She wrapped her arms around the man. He hugged her tightly, and she gave a grunt at the strength of his grip. She pushed back slightly and gave him a deep smile. “I’m surprised to see you.”

  And she truly was surprised. She had only seen Mr. Turner at the house when he was conducting business with her father or when he would visit for dinner. The two men would disappear into the study for hours sometimes, only coming out for dinner or coffee. He was always kind to her when he visited.

  He was nothing like the lawyers she encountered at the parties in New York. Those attorneys were stuffy and ill-tempered; always quick to bring focus back to themselves. She found them conceited and untrustworthy. But she didn’t see that in Mr. Turner. She knew whatever he would say, it would be the truth.

  She wondered why he would be in New York. An unsettled feeling gave rise in the pit of her belly. She placed a hand on her middle, willing the nerves to calm down. Hilde gave a little cough and turned back to Natalie.

  “Mr. Turner is an old family friend.” She could see Natalie’s body relax in relief, as Natalie didn’t take too kindly to strangers. “Would you go fetch us some coffee?” she asked Natalie, knowing that the act would give them time to discuss whatever Mr. Turner wanted to tell her.

  Natalie nodded her head. “Right away, Miss Cartier,” she said as she walked out of the room and closed the door.

  “Your performance was wonderful,” said Mr. Turner, as Hilde led him to the chaise couch. As she sat beside him, he placed his hat down on the table. “You really shined on that stage. I never imagined how you would just own the stage.” He pumped his fist in the air. “Daniel and Priscilla often said I needed to come see you perform, but I apologize that it took me so long. They certainly were proud of you.”

  Hilde gave her best actress smile, beaming under the praise. Her parents rarely gave praise out loud, and to hear it come from Mr. Turner warmed her heart. She reached out to grab the older man’s hand. “Mr. Turner, you should have told me you were coming! I would have set out tickets for you.”

  Mr. Turner pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and dabbed it against his forehead before shoving it back in his pocket. “That’s quite alright. I’m afraid this isn’t a planned trip.”

  That nervous feeling crept back into her stomach, but she pushed it back down. She could see the pain in his eyes. She locked on his face and tried to keep her features emotionless. “What is it?”