Mr. Turner fumbled with his hands. Hilde had never thought of him as nervous, but he appeared to be suffering some angst as he sat next to her.

  “I wished there was some family to tell you this news; but there wasn’t anyone who could come give it to you in person. I knew that it was necessary for you to hear it in person.”

  She grasped her knees, feeling the silk of her costume. She felt silly, sitting there in her costume, her face with the smeared makeup from where she touched it. She eyed him, giving him the signal to continue, dreading the words she expected him to say.

  He gave a little cough then continued. “Your parents as you know were on their way home from their latest trip.” Hilde nodded.

  “Yes. I thought they were expected home this week. I was planning on going to visit them before I leave for San Francisco.”

  “Yes, I recall that being the plan.” Mr. Turner hesitated.

  Hilde gripped the fabric tighter, feeling it wrinkle under her fingertips. “Just tell me, Mr. Turner.”

  The man took one of Hilde’s hands and patted the back as if he was comforting a child. “Unfortunately, there was an accident on the journey home. Your parents’ ship was caught in a storm and capsized. There were no survivors.”

  He seemed to keep talking, but Hilde tuned him out. She pulled her hand from his and placed it back on her lap. Looking down at her hands, she didn’t realize how hard she was clutching her knees until she saw the indents of her fingernails in the silk. She released her knees, staring at her hands on her thighs.

  She wasn’t an emotional girl; she kept her feelings close to her chest. She wasn’t much of a crier. Even when she was rejected the first time at that audition she didn’t cry. She took the criticism and returned home more determined than ever to succeed.

  But no matter how upset or hurt she was, she would suck in her sorrow and put on a straight face. She never wanted anyone to know she was weak. She felt emotion was a weakness.

  Even now, she kept her face straight, staring at her hands. She willed herself not to cry. She wouldn’t cry, especially in front of this man.

  “Miss Hilde? I know it’s quite a situation. Are you going to be alright?”

  Hilde looked towards Mr. Turner’s face. She could see his eyes searching hers, looking for something.

  He was kind. He wanted to help her.

  But she didn’t want his help, nor anyone else’s. She wiped a lone tear that escaped her eye.

  “I’m fine,” she said in a curt tone. She flinched at the sound of her voice and closed her eyes. She needed to compose herself. When she opened her eyes again, she tightened her smile. “What do we do now?”

  “Well, there are some affairs that need to be taken care of, some paperwork that you need to sign. I would like you to accompany me back to Philadelphia if you can. I know you were planning on leaving for San Francisco.

  “I can accompany you back. I don’t need to arrive in San Francisco until after the holidays.

  “It wouldn't be too much trouble with your show?”

  “Tonight, was the last night for a week. This is more important.”

  The door opened and Natalie came in, holding a tray with two cups on it. As Natalie set the cups on the table, Mr. Turner stood up. “I’m sorry, but I don’t think I can stay. I have a few items to get done before the trip tomorrow.”

  “You’re leaving?” Natalie asked, as she looked at the cups and then at him.

  “Yes. It’s getting late,” he said, as he turned towards Hilde. He grasped her hands in his. “Again, I’m truly sorry. I wish it was something else I had come to tell you.”

  “It’s quite alright, Mr. Turner. Do you need me to see you out?” Hilde asked. She was exhausted, but she didn’t want to be rude.

  “No, I think I can see myself out. I don’t want to trouble you.” He tipped his hat at the ladies before placing it on his head. “I’ll send details tomorrow for the trip.”

  “Of course,” added Hilde. Natalie’s eyes narrowed as she saw him leaving the room with a short wave.

  “What just happened?” asked Natalie, as she stood next to Hilde.

  Hilde didn’t say a word, as she bent to clutch the mug of hot coffee into her hands. She found the warmth comforting around her fingers, as she thought about what to do next.

  Chapter 3

  “What do you mean I need to get married?” Ben looked at Michael Somers sitting across from him. They were in his office and Ben had just finished discussing the letter he received with the young attorney.

  Michael placed the papers back down on the desk. “That is what you need to do to meet the demands of that letter.”

  Ben groaned.

  He had completely forgotten about the letter until he found it tucked between the pages of his ledger. He couldn’t believe he had missed it. When he finally read the words scratched on the paper, he knew he had to make an appointment right away to discuss the legal ramifications with Michael.

  “Your mother-in-law is petitioning for custody of the children. The courts feel that being out west isn’t the best for them. Back in Boston they have access to prestigious schools, the theater, an extended family.”

  Ben dragged his hand down his face. “How can they determine what is best? They aren’t out here! And how can they just take away children from their father?”

  Michael shrugged. “The law is a funny thing, and judges interpret it different ways. Look at it from the other side. Let me ask you this question: is raising two little girls out here in the middle of Montana the best thing for them? Especially without a mother?”

  “We have Helen,” Ben countered.

  “Unless you are planning on marrying her and making her their mother, the judge can say that there is a level of impropriety there.”

  Ben clenched his jaw. “There is nothing improper about my relationship with Helen. She helped my wife and I before Emily died, and she has continued to help since then. Those girls love her like the grandmother they never had. Ella didn’t even remember Emily’s parents.”

  “Well Mrs. Evans is adamant that she and her husband can do a better job at raising the girls.”

  Ben looked at Michael. “I thought you were my friend.”

  Michael leaned forward on his elbows. “I am. I’m also your council, which is why I think you getting married can make all of this go away. A judge wouldn’t dare give Mrs. Evans custody of those girls if they had a mother’s influence.”

  Ben stood and scooped the letter up from the desk. “I’ll think about it.” He gave a little chuckle. “The women in town have wanted me to get hitched for a while now. I guess this will make them happy.”

  “Don’t look at it that way,” Michael said. “What happens if you open your heart and fall in love?”

  Ben scoffed. “Right. That will never happen.”

  Michael stood and stretched out his hand. “Whatever you decide, decide quickly. We need to form a response and get it back to the judge by the first of December. I wish you had brought this to me sooner. We only have a few days.

  Ben lowered his head and peered up at Michael over the desk. “I honestly forgot about the letter. Besides, what would she need to write me a letter for. I didn’t think it was anything important.”

  “Now you know it is.” Michael pointed to the door. “Get out of here and let me get to work. Stop by tomorrow and look over the response.”

  Ben nodded and headed out the door. When he was outside, he saw Miss Aston walking towards the mercantile. He was about to raise his hand but stopped and turned on his heel to head back to the wagon.

  In the distance he caught sight of the little church. Guilt ran through his mind as he hadn’t been to services in a while.

  Since Emily’s burial.

  Helen took the children every Sunday, but Ben refused to grace the doors of the small chapel again.

  Emily found comfort between the four walls, saying that she felt closer to God when she was surrounded by His people. Ben didn’t understand that. He felt closer to God when he was outside in the large pastures that surrounded the hotel.

  And the children … where he was still angry at God for taking his wife away, they were joyous knowing that they would be reunited with her one day in heaven. He saw Eli Barnes, the pastor, walking towards the garden in the back.

  Something inside urged him to walk towards the church. It was as if someone else was guiding his footsteps across the town towards the small building.

  Eli must have seen him coming, as he lifted his hand in greeting. Ben returned the gesture and let himself inside the picket fence that surrounded the garden in the back of the church.

  “Ben Remington,” Eli called with a grin on his face. “I’ve not seen you here in years.”

  Four years to be exact, Ben thought. He kicked the dirt with his toe before looking into the kind eyes of the preacher.

  Ben was overwhelmed with emotion standing in the small garden. A burning formed behind his eyes that surprised him. He pinched his nose, willing the feeling to go away. He felt a hand on his shoulder, and he shrugged it off. “I’m sorry, this is a mistake,” he said, heading back to the gate.

  “Wait,” Eli called. “You must have had a reason for coming here. Why don’t we go inside, and we can discuss whatever is on your mind? Autumn made some coffee when she stopped by earlier. I can pour us some.”

  Ben nodded and allowed the man to lead him towards the church. He took a few deep breaths before entering the side door into the sanctuary.

  It was just as he remembered. The wooden pews shined brightly from the beeswax that was rubbed on them. The altar had a large bouquet of sunflowers that were starting to wilt. They were probably the last flowers from the greenhouse as winter was on their doorstep.

  Ben followed him, down the polished pews to the back of the church. There was a coat rack next to the door and Ben watched as Eli shrugged off his coat and placed it on one of the wooden pegs.

  “Hang up your coat and have a seat,” Eli said, pointing to the first pew. “I’ll be right back.” Ben watched Eli disappear behind a door. He took off his coat and hung it on one of the empty hooks. He had just sat down in the last pew when Eli reappeared with two mugs of coffee. “You still take just a little cream?” Eli asked.

  Ben nodded, astonished that the man would remember how he took his coffee, from that long ago.

  Eli sat down on the pew across the way, facing Ben. “I must say, this is quite a surprise,” Eli said, blowing on the hot brew. “If you were coming for services, you are about two days too late. We only have Sunday services, you know.” He laughed a bit at his own joke.

  “I know,” Ben whispered. Did that voice belong to him? Normally his voice was strong, and he had a commanding presence. Now he sounded unsure. Almost scared.

  “I know you didn’t stop by just to say hello. What’s on your mind, Ben?”

  Ben took a sip of the bitter brew. He knew he was just delaying the inevitable. “Actually, Pastor Eli,” he finally said. “I know I’ve not been here in a while. It was just so difficult after Emily died.” Eli nodded his understanding. “I’m here for your counsel, if you have the time.”

  Pastor Eli’s eyes widened slightly. “Is everything alright? Is there anything wrong with the children?” he asked in a calm voice.

  Ben knew the Pastor probably thought it was strange that he would be seeking counsel now. After Emily fell ill, Eli offered to come to the hotel to give comfort to the family, but Ben pushed him away. He was so angry that his beloved became ill, that he lashed out at almost everyone during that time.

  There was no excuse for his behavior. Ben realized that community, while it wouldn’t have prevented her death, could have made the transition easier. He wouldn’t blame the Pastor if Eli said that Ben got exactly what he deserved. He lost his wife and now he might lose his children.

  Ben looked at Eli, taking in the kind man’s face. He felt a sense of relief and peace as he saw no judgement from the preacher, just understanding with a few questions.

  “I think the last time I was here seeking your counsel was when Emily and I got married.” He remembered being scared and nervous speaking to Eli that day too. He was so afraid that they wouldn’t get the blessings that they needed for their union. If Eli didn’t look favorably on the marriage, he knew that the Evans’ would have done everything in their power to stop it.

  It was unimportant for Ben to get the blessing as he was intent on marrying Emily no matter what. However, it meant everything to his wife. How fitting was it that he was back in this church once again, to discuss a possible marriage.

  Pastor Eli motioned for him to continue. Ben concentrated on the dust fluttering through the sunbeam as it came from a small window. He let the words start to tumble from him. From the pain he still harbored over losing Emily; that he wasn’t enough of a father to his two girls; and culminating with the letter sent from his mother-in-law with a legal petition enclosed.

  Eli didn’t say a word. He simply raised his eyebrows a few times and finished his coffee. When Ben was done, he looked at his hands wrapped around the nearly empty cup. “I just don’t know what to do,” he said quietly.

  “That is quite a bit to process, Ben,” Eli said, placing his empty mug on the seat beside him. “What do you think needs to be done?”

  Ben shook his head. “Michael thinks I need to get married.”

  “That is what he thinks. What do you think?”

  “I don’t know. I don’t want to bring anyone into our lives right now.”

  Eli shifted positions and looked at Ben with deep eyes. “What I’m hearing is that you still haven’t forgiven Emily for dying. Until you give forgiveness you won’t be free to invite anyone or anything in.”

  “Is there a way I can get married in name only?” Ben asked. “Like not to actually have a wife?”

  Eli looked at him intently. “Marriage isn’t something that you enter into lightly. You just can’t get married to anyone.”

  “Tell that to the ladies in town,” Eli scoffed. “They are determined to see me married.”

  “But they want to see you married to one of the ladies here,” Eli chuckled.

  “I would rather marry someone I didn’t know.”

  “That can be messy.”

  Ben put his cup down and rested his elbows on his knees, his hands clasped together. “If I recall, you and Autumn were married without knowing each other.”

  “True.” Eli squirmed in his seat. It was well known in town that he married Autumn by proxy because he was tired of the ladies auxiliary making comments about how a preacher should set the example. Ben knew, although they had a rocky start, Eli adored his wife more than anything.

  Eli scratched his cheek. “I recall someone saying that history repeats itself. Maybe that is what is happening here.”

  “I don’t follow,” Ben said.

  “I didn’t know Autumn at all. But she was in desperate need to marry for protection from an abusive uncle. I didn’t treat her the best when she arrived because she was everything I didn’t want in a bride. I’m ashamed to say just how poorly I treated her. She should have run from me the first chance she had. But she hung in there and showed me a love I couldn’t fathom here on earth. I love her more today than I could ever imagine.”

  “I don’t want to marry someone to fall in love with them. “I’m not sure I’m ready for that,” he said, as he fidgeted in his seat. This whole conversation was making him uncomfortable.

  “That is the first time I’ve heard you say you aren’t totally against the idea. Just that you aren’t ready.” Eli stood and picked up his cup. “Let’s go to my office. I need to find something.”

  Ben followed him to the small office hidden behind a door. If you weren’t looking for it, you wouldn’t see it as the door blended in with the woodwork on the wall.

  Eli moved around the desk and began to rummage through the drawers. It gave Ben an opportunity to look around the room. He hadn’t been in the pastor’s office before. There was a desk and two chairs. Books were piled everywhere, but other than that the office was clean. Ben slid into one of the chairs and picked up a magazine on the corner of the desk.

  “Stars of the Stage?” Ben asked, raising an eyebrow. He flipped through the pages and a placard fell from between the pages. Ben picked it up and looked at the woman. He gave a low whistle.

  A woman dressed in Tudor costume stared at him from the stage. She was posed on a balcony leaning forward on her elbows. She had too much makeup on for his liking, but he knew that was because it was a theater photo.

  Her hair was tied up, but ringlets were falling around her face. Ben wondered what color her hair was. He could tell it was lighter, but the photograph was black and white.

  Her lips were dark against the rest of her makeup and she pouted her lips in a perfect heart. The woman framed her face with her hands, as if sending that kiss directly to the person holding the picture.

  Yes, she was beautiful, but definitely not Ben’s type. Not that he had a type anymore.

  Ben flipped the card over between his fingers and read out loud to Eli. “Miss Amanda Cartier shines brightly as Juliet in her performance of Shakespeare’s beloved play.” He gave a snort. “Who writes this stuff?” He slipped the card between the pages, placing the magazine back down on the corner of the desk.

  “I didn’t take you for the theater type, Eli.”

  Eli noticed Ben looking at the magazine and laughed. “You must think me messy, but I promise I’m in the middle of organizing the books. That one belongs to Autumn. She must have left it here when she was visiting.”

  Ben laughed. “I didn’t really think anything of it. You should see my office in the hotel.” He wasn’t messy per-se. It was just that sometimes things were stacked in piles until he could attend to them, but he didn’t have any theater magazines in those stacks.

  “Autumn has told me before that I need to keep better care of my office. She scolds me every time she comes to visit.” Ben couldn’t recall ever seeing the Pastor so happy as he was when he talked about his wife.