Elise collapsing on us was the weirdest sensation I had encountered. I went from feeling safe and secure in the arms of my best friend and a new found love, to being required to support the weight of Elise as she crumpled lifelessly towards the ground.

  I panicked and was extremely terrified as I began saying Elise’s name over and over again while both Jenny and I lowered her to the ground safely. In a millisecond of my life, all emotions had drained out of my body as I stared at her still face in our arms.

  “Elise!” I begged. “Elise, Elise!”

  There was no one around us at that fateful time and both Jenny and I were too frightened to leave Elise. I looked at Jenny who looked at me in return. We both had no idea what was happening, no idea what to do.

  I suddenly felt like Elise was sucking my emotions out of me, using them herself in an attempt to reconnect with the world. I shook my head unable to express anything but pure dread on my face as I suddenly began to tear up.

  “Elise!” I said once more as I began trying to shake her awake. “Please!”

  There was a small movement from the body in our arms.

  “Elise?” I asked quickly as I stroked her head, hoping that somehow this would help her.

  “Olly?” she said weakly as she opened her eyes dreamily.

  “Jenny, go get help please!” I begged her as Elise continued to gain consciousness.

  “No.”

  Jenny and I both looked down at Elise shocked.

  “You need help!” I said, still panicked from her collapse.

  “No,” she repeated as her eyes open fully. “I’m fine, trust me.”

  She smiled weakly as she began to try and sit up slowly.

  I looked over at Jenny who nods slowly, clearly not sure on what to think or do. Together, we both helped Elise sit up on the cold concrete floor till we are all looking at each other.

  “Great way to start a friendship…”

  I laughed at Elise’s comment softly as I felt the emotions returning to me. I gave her a huge hug, but Jenny stayed back cautiously.

  “Are you okay?” she asked her, still worried.

  Elise nodded in response before suddenly kissing me on the lips. I couldn’t move as I felt her warm lips collide with mine, forming some emotions that I couldn’t even begin to explain. I slowly moved my hands through her soft hair as I kissed her back, letting go of everything around us for a short time – a few seconds.

  “Are you okay down there?” a man asked us as he was about to walk by.

  Elise and I shot apart, both feeling our faces flush with redness as we remember where we were. All three of us looked up at the man’s amusement of us and we quickly said we were as we got up and ran into school for form.

  We all sat together during the first lesson after form, but something about Jenny seemed weird. Ever since the collapse it felt like the friendship we had just created was already under threat by an invisible challenge.

  Luckily, by the end of the day we had managed to put the incident out of our minds. That being said, it wasn’t forgotten about until after a couple more intense, insistent questions from Jenny. Either way, we somehow had become a couple of regular teenagers in a friendship that looked like it had been formed from birth.

  We had laughed all the way home and had happily decided to all go out bowling over the upcoming weekend. Back at Elise’s front door, Jenny and I bid her goodbye with a quick hug.

  “See you tomorrow, I guess,” I said to her before she walked through her open door.

  Elise sheepishly smiled at me and I returned the same smile at the thought of the last few nights. I admit I was quite upset that we weren’t able to continue our nightly tradition, but I knew as she closed the door slowly, I would send her a letter later on.

  “Why are you smiling?” Jenny asked as we began walking back towards my house.

  I had forgotten to mention anything to her about Elise and I’s nightly escapades.

  “Erm,” I said cautiously as I listened to my feet tap across the pavement.

  “Come on, Olly,” she persisted.

  I didn’t know what to do. On one hand I wanted to keep Elise and my romance – if it even counted as romantic – evenings between just her and I. But at the same time, I had felt guilty for not mentioning them at all to Jenny. Even if I didn’t mention all of the details of the nights, it felt weird because those nights still felt like a weird fantasy dream that I had just dreamt up, even though I knew them to be real.

  I decided to tell her.

  “Please tell me…” she sarcastically whined. “You tell me everything!”

  She was right, of course, but I didn’t want to admit that I was going to willingly tell her anything.

  “Alright!” I said exasperated, hoping that she would believe that she had just won me over.

  “Yay!”

  She grinned as we continued to walk on.

  “So why are you smiling, Pleb?”

  Ahh, Pleb. Yes, she used to actually call me that back then every so often when she was victorious over something, or just when she was sarcastic. I had later adopted the term to use myself on Elise when she was being silly or upset – it was my way of trying to cheer her up.

  “Pleb?”

  I laughed.

  “You seriously calling me that! Still?”

  “Just tell me!” she sarcastically whined again.

  “Fine! The last two nights I have been meeting up with Elise!”

  She suddenly stopped and turned me around to face her.

  “Wait… what?”

  She sounded extremely shocked and had a look on her face as if she had just been slapped by me.

  “Why didn’t you tell me!” she exclaimed.

  “I-I…”

  “You’ve only just met her! Why did you meet up in the middle of the night? You could have been hurt!”

  She sounded angry.

  “She – I…”

  I couldn’t speak. My insides felt like they were being crushed from the glaring look on Jenny’s face.

  “Olly, please!” she begged. “Tell me why.”

  She started calming down. Taking a breath, we sat down on a front lawn wall.

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “It’s just I didn’t trust her on that first day… she got to close to you and I…”

  I looked up at her. She seemed extremely emotional but I didn’t know why. I knew that we were friends. More than friends, really. But nothing that we could understand. We weren’t in love or anything, but we just had a connection that wasn’t quantifiable by either of us.

  “I-I…” I stammered. “I’m sorry too.”

  She put her arm around me comforting the pair of us.

  “Why, Olly?” she asked quietly.

  I took a deep breath.

  “I’ll show you…”

  Chapter Seven

  Revealing yourself to someone – and yourself – is one of the hardest things you will ever have to do. I’m not sure on how many of you have needed to do such a thing, ever. But know that it is a moment that defines who you are and how you will live the rest of your life. Each of us have a persona that we convert from our minds and project onto our outer body to hide the true personality we are.

  We all know who we are, and yet not many of us accept it, or fear that others will not accept you. That is why finally showing how you feel – revealing everything you fear and your deepest confessions on who you are – can break most people if no one they know accepts who you unleash.

  It was back at home that afternoon when I risked it all and decided to show Jenny the letters that were traded between Elise and I. We hadn’t spoken since the wall. Not even when my sister had opened the door for us. Jenny had followed me up the stairs and into my room. A chilled air seemed to loom over us as our future was about to be decided.

  I had known of Jenny’s persona from the first time I had seen her upset. She didn’t have much to hide and was almost a complete replica of her persona. The only difference was that she was never as confident and cocky as she portrayed. Inside she used to think that I – and her friend – would only like her if she continued this charade. I being me, didn’t care as I knew I had much more to hide than she had ever thought possible.

  As we entered my room, I got Jenny to sit on my bed while I retrieved the collections of letters I had previously hid beneath my chest of draws.

  Okay, fine, yes, I didn’t say that earlier to you. But, would you seriously release that information to anyone until absolutely necessary? No, I didn’t think so…

  “What are those?” Jenny asked cautiously.

  “You remember the first day at school?”

  “You mean those notes you and Elise passed between you, while ignoring me all day?” she asked.

  She clearly had an edge on her voice but she hadn’t meant anything by it. With everything that has happened in the past couple of days, I didn’t blame her.

  “Erm, yeah,” I said cautiously. “Do you want to read them?”

  She looked at me curiously.

  “You’re actually going to let me read them?” she asked.

  I nodded and handed her the letters.

  She accepted them from my hand and took them. I sat on the floor and crossed my legs, waiting patiently as she read them once. Then again. She read them one final time before looking at me with her soft calming eyes.

  “Oh, Olly…”

  She sighed.

  She lifted her left arm slightly while placing the letters on her lap with her right. I knew what she wanted, but after a failed attempt at trying to stand up – which she laughed softly at – Jenny moved from my bed to the floor next to me.

  “I know why…” she whispered as she pulled me into a hug.

  “Do you?”

  I thought I knew the reason why I liked her. But when she suddenly questioned me about that reason… I froze and questioned my reasoning. I shook my head.

  “I thought I did…” I murmured.

  “Olly…”

  She had said it like she was about to let me down with some bad news. Her voice softening the inevitable blow to my heart and soul.

  I looked up at her.

  “She’s you…”

  Her words echoed through my head like the hum of a bee when trapped in a small glass. I didn’t understand her. I knew that we both had things in common. But, her being a replica of myself? Somehow, I couldn’t quite believe what she was speaking. How could someone like me fall for myself in female form? It didn’t make any sense.

  I shook my head at her in in disbelief. I couldn’t believe her words. I wouldn’t.

  “No…” I said shakily.

  At that moment there was a knock on the door and my mother walked in. She saw us sitting huddled together on the floor and I – in an embarrassed state from her walking in – hid my face into Jenny’s shoulders.

  My mother looked down at us and Jenny shook her head softly in her direction. The next movements that happened was my mother sliding back out of my room, leaving a silent pair of friends in each other’s arms.

  “How?” I asked quietly so that, even if my mother was eaves dropping outside, she wouldn’t hear.

  She lifted my head slightly and just hugged me with one arm.

  “I know you better than you think.”

  I froze.

  How could she possibly know me better than myself? I barely know myself as it is.

  “No,” she said softly. “Don’t worry. I just know that you struggle with expressing things…”

  She eased off.

  “I’m sorry…”

  “Don’t be sorry, Pleb!” she exclaimed. “It’s not a bad thing.”

  She hesitated slightly.

  “Not for me anyway.”

  Jenny took my hands in hers for a moment.

  “You don’t have to hide from me, Olly. Never, okay? That’s why you and Elise are the same. You both struggle to cope with things that you keep hidden inside you both.”

  “How do you—”

  “Olly, I’m you best friend!”

  She laughed.

  “Of course, I bloody know you!”

  “But what about Elise?” I questioned, cautious on what she would say.

  “How do you know she is like me?”

  Jenny let go of me and in silence gathered the letters from my bed.

  “Read them again,” she whispered as she handed them to me.

  I did as I was told.

  Once upon a time there lived a girl named Elise.

  The opening seemed normal except that we automatically started writing as if it was a story.

  “What’s wrong with writing in stories?” I asked her.

  “Just keep reading.”

  She wasn’t, nor felt, like any other girl around town. She lives with her mother and father in a strange place she doesn’t know.

  The next part seemed fine as she was a special girl, not like others I had known.

  “Don’t you see it?” she asked.

  I shook my head.

  “Keep reading.”

  The first day of school was the thing she was dreading most. But, despite the fear she had, she felt like she had made a friend just like her.

  “Just like her…” I whispered.

  Jenny kept silent this time.

  This friend, she decided in a few moments, would be the one that she would keep close for as long as she could.

  I smiled to myself.

  Elise doesn’t like many things but those things she does like, she is passionate about completely. The first of these things is writing stories, secondly movies and other media things that help her escape the world around her.

  “Wait…” I said, realising slowly what Jenny was talking about.

  She does like the new friend she had met, however. As their lessons together progressed, she knew inside that they would both become good friends.

  Again; nothing seemed wrong here to me.

  As the school bell ended at the start of her life at a new school, and with a new friend, she panicked, wondering if he was only being nice to her because he got told to. She quickly ran out of the school gates and off home, leaving behind her new friend with fear of it not being real.

  I sat stunned. Things were finally making sense to me. She had the same fears, worries and paranoid thoughts I had about her, Jenny, and most things in my life.

  However, once back at home, Elise instantly regretted running away from the boy, Olly his name is, and began to question her own fear and coward self. So, she sat and tried to think of a way to see him again, and soon. She thought of the numerous times she has escaped from the prison she lives in and quickly plotted a plan.

  Prison.

  I had often thought of my life, my home and my disability in that sense but I had never once released that exact phrase to anyone. Not even Jenny.

  Quickly she wrote a letter to the boy, asking him if he would sneak out just before midnight and meet her on top of the slide in the park. She had ended the note with a little X, symbolising a small kiss, and then sealed it before quickly running to post the letter in the evening.

  X

  I sat quietly for a moment staring at the pages.

  “Do you see now?” Jenny said quietly. “Do you see how you are both the same person?”

  “How do you know me so well?”

  I sigh at her.

  She laughed lightly as I laid down on the floor and placed my hands on my face, pulling at the skin softly. I groaned.

  “I’m sorry about how I feel most of the time,” I said beneath my hands.

  “What?” Jenny laughed.

  “That didn’t make much sense. Besides… you have been through enough to feel like this. I don’t blame you and never will. I just accept you because you’re my best friend and perfect the way you are.”

  She paused.

  “Even if you never believe that yourself.”

  I closed my eyes and wished that I wasn’t so messed up in the head.

  “Anyway!” Jenny suddenly spoke up. “Enough of this soppy stuff. We are going to do something—”

  “Do what?” I asked as I sat back up, leaning slightly on my arms that were propping me up.

  “Hmm.”

  She thought for a while before smirking.

  “How about we get you ready for your date?”

  My heart rate began to quicken.

  “My date?” I questioned curiously.

  Jenny laughed and nodded.

  “Yes, your date… I don’t have one, do I?”

  I had no clue on what date she was talking about and within seconds she explained.

  “Oh, come on!” She laughed. “It’s obvious you two are going to meeting again tonight.”

  I shrugged and shook my head. Explaining the reason why didn’t take very long but as soon as I was finished, Jenny tried to convince me that Saturday’s bowling day was effectively becoming a sort of date.

  “It can’t be a date with you there!” I declared.

  “Why can’t it be?” Jenny protested. “I think I have to be there to make sure neither of you get in trouble for making out all the time!”

  I blushed scarlet.

  “We wouldn’t do that anyway!”

  “Yeah, well…” Jenny thought. “Either way I’m going to be there as I suggested it!”

  She had stated her dominance over the situation so I reluctantly just let her get on, sarcastically speaking up with the flaws if it being a date if there is a third wheel.

  She laughed at that before suggesting that I needed an outfit for the day out anyway due to my apparent poor sense of fashion. I rejected that comment but then she pointed out the fact that I normally wore the same six band or nerd merchandise whenever I go out. Apparently, that doesn’t count as fashion.