Expiation the whisper of.., p.12
Expiation: The Whisper of Death (Touched #4),
p.12
The light flickered and went out. I whirled around and the little boy of death stared at me, his eyes of ice glinting in the darkness. With a shriek I threw the squirrel at him and bolted, but his twin materialized in front of me, blocking my way.
“Want to see who can run faster?” he asked in his demon’s voice. I grabbed the black diamond from my pocket and jammed it into the shoulder of the Deva behind me, taking him by surprise. Howling with pain, an inhuman sound that gave me goosebumps, he fell to the floor. With a shocked look on his face, he watched the blood gush from the wound, then raised his hate-filled eyes to me as he yanked the sharp prism out of his flesh. His brother raised his hand at me and I fell to my knees, paralyzed. Though I struggled to move my muscles, it was no use. The wounded Deva hurled the black stone away and laughed in the darkness as a drop of blood slid from my nose.
Just then a roar made the attic walls tremble and a panther landed on the Deva who was paralyzing my body. “Gemma!” Ginevra rushed into the room with two other panthers. In seconds their snarls filled the air. I wasn’t strong enough to move, though the twins had released their grip. One of them was on the floor, grappling with a panther. The wounded Deva tried to escape, but Ginevra stopped him.
She summoned the black crystal to her and hurled it at his feet. He stared at the stone, at a loss, fear in his eyes for perhaps the first time in his entire existence. The carbonado came to life, unfolding around the Devas . . . and me. The panther bounded out before the cage door could close. One of the twins tried to rush out but the panthers snarled and he retreated.
“Gemma! Get out of there! Now!” Ginevra screamed.
I didn’t move. The cage sealed itself up . . . with me inside.
THE DARKNESS SUMMONS
Though I knew I was no longer the victim of the Devas’ power, since they—like me—were trapped in the cage, I felt a strange force inside me. Lying on the floor of the cage, my disheveled hair covering my face, I was trying to understand what it was when I heard a low growl. The twins backed up. I hid a smile because the sound had come from me.
And I liked it.
“What the fuck?” Simon gasped, but I barely heard him. I wanted to focus only on myself.
“It’s the carbonado’s power. It’s awakened the evil inside her.”
I could hear them, hear them all. It was like I was everywhere. They were holding their breath. Slowly, I raised my eyes to look at the Devas and terror spread across their childlike faces. They were powerless inside the cage. I, however, felt invincible. I crept toward them. One of the twins tried to attack me but my power hurled him away before he could even come close. I had done it. I felt the power flow through me like black lava. It burned but it made me stronger.
“Gemma, what are you doing? Get out of there!” Ginevra shouted. She opened the cage and tried to draw me to her with magic, but I blocked it and the barred door slammed shut.
“Go away! Go away, all of you!” I screamed. I didn’t want to leave. I didn’t want to give up that sensation, give up the power. The power was irresistible. The power satiated me. Someone shrieked and I spun around. It was Anya, who had just covered her mouth with both hands. I tilted my head because all at once I realized I was seeing her upside down. Somehow I had ended up on all fours on the ceiling of the cage. I leapt down to the floor as the cage door flew open and someone rushed inside and grabbed me by the waist.
“No! NO!” I shrieked, and my voice seemed to come straight from Hell. Strong arms dragged me away against my will. I clung to the cage with all my might, making my abductor scream in pain, but I continued to kick and struggle.
“Evan, get her out of there!”
I heard a grunt of effort and fell on top of someone. My body quivered. Hands clasped my face. My eyes met Evan’s, and then . . . nothing.
“She’s coming to.”
I blinked and slowly opened my eyes. A small crowd was leaning over me. There were Subterraneans and Witches, but Ginevra told them all to move back so I could breathe.
“Evan . . .” I murmured. I tried to get up from the couch but felt drained.
“Good,” Simon snorted irritably. “Now she can explain what the fuck happened!”
Evan stood up straight and faced his brother. “Hey, what’s your problem?”
“We’d better call in an exorcist. We can’t handle this kind of stuff,” Simon hissed, his voice hard. My eyes widened. His comment had cut me to the quick.
“Simon!” Ginevra said reproachfully. “That’s enough. Calm down, both of you.”
Simon ran a hand over his face. “You’re right. I don’t even know why I said it. I’m sorry, Gemma. I’ve never even thought anything like that.”
I happened to catch sight of my reflection in the mirror and my heart skipped a beat. My eyes . . . They were completely black, without whites. “It’s my fault,” I said in a tiny voice.
Evan immediately leaned over me. “What are you saying? None of this is your fault.”
“Yes it is. Simon reacted that way because of me. Didn’t he, Gwen?”
“Probably,” she admitted regretfully.
But I knew it was because of me. I had felt the evil spread from me to Simon. I’d tried to stop it but couldn’t. He’d said those nasty things because I’d generated a negative energy in him. Was that what was in store for me? Wasn’t it enough for evil to darken my life? Did it also have to affect the lives of the people I loved? I didn’t want to drag everyone else into my own darkness.
“Sophìa’s kiss must have awakened your power and the cage brought it out.”
“That bitch!” Evan snarled. The panthers growled, advancing threateningly.
“Enough!” Ginevra stopped them. “You’re not here to fight.”
“He cannot insult the Empress in front of us.”
“Then leave. If you stay here only to fight you’re not helping.”
I swallowed, dejected. I’d heard Ginevra speaking with Devina in her panther form. It was already happening. Every day I was closer to my transformation.
The panthers departed angrily, closing the door leading to the dungeon behind them. I let my head drop and breathed deeply. “I’m sorry, Simon. I didn’t mean to influence you.”
“It’s not your fault,” he reassured me. He’d come back from his mission just in time to see Evan pull me out of the cage.
“Tell me what happened,” I said.
“The twins paralyzed you. We managed to stop them and hit them with the fragment of carbonado, which turned back into a cage, trapping you inside it too,” Ginevra told me. “When they lost their powers you wouldn’t come out. We tried to pull you out with magic, but you fought us off. You even injured Devina.”
My eyes bulged. “I remember. Now I remember everything. I was the one who did those things.”
“You weren’t yourself. You were possessed, Gemma. Possessed by evil. Even I had never seen anything like it. Your voice was . . . different. You put the twins out of action. You hung them upside down inside the cage and came close to killing them. Fortunately Evan arrived in time.”
Evan. I remembered him grunting with pain as he tried to drag me away. “You’re hurt!” I exclaimed, taking his hand in mine.
He squeezed it tight. “It’s nothing. All that matters is that you’re safe now.”
“That’s not true. You risked your life for me! You could have died!”
“I could have lost you, which is worse.”
“If you’d cut yourself on the black diamond, I—”
“But I didn’t,” he said, his eyes probing mine.
“How did you manage to get me out?”
“Not even we Witches were able to do that with our magic,” Ginevra admitted. “Evan came back from his mission and when he saw you in the cage, he rushed in without thinking twice. He didn’t have his powers in there and had to sling you over his shoulder against your will, but the poisonous bars left burns on him when you struggled to break free.”
“Gin, why are you telling her this?”
“She needs to know. There can’t be secrets among us.”
I covered my face with my hands. “Forgive me, Evan.”
“Everything’s okay. It’s going to be fine, I promise.”
“Is this what’s going to happen to me, Gwen?”
“No,” said Anya, the only other Sister who’d stayed in the room. “It’s the darkness trapped inside you that’s possessing you. Once you accept the transformation, you’ll set it free. You’ll control it.”
“I saw my eyes in the mirror.” I shuddered at the memory of those big black pools staring back at me. “I looked possessed by the devil.”
“You were—it’s just that the devil is a part of you.”
“My eyes aren’t like yours. Why not?”
“For the same reason, I suppose.” This time it was Ginevra who spoke. “You haven’t undergone the transformation yet. What’s happening to you is new for us too. Your closeness to our world jumpstarted the process. Your Dakor’s venom will complete it, when Sophìa baptizes it. At that point your eyes will be his eyes and you’ll have a single heartbeat.”
That was why I’d seen fear on Anya’s face. A tear slid down my cheek. “Evan, how can you—” I couldn’t find the words. I’d even frightened myself when I saw my reflection.
“It wasn’t the first time I’d seen you like that.”
“What are you talking about?” I asked, shocked.
“I’ve seen that darkness in your eyes before,” he admitted.
“It happens whenever the power summons you,” Ginevra said.
“Why didn’t you tell me about it?”
“There was no point in scaring you,” Simon explained.
“So you let me be around other people and risk being seen?!” I shouted. “Are you trying to ruin my life?! How could you do that to me?!”
Evan took my face in his hands and his eyes focused on mine. When I looked into them, so deep and intense, a knot formed in my throat. I was about to lose control again. How could it be happening so soon? A river of tears filled my eyes and I let them flow. “I’m sorry,” I sobbed. “How can you still bear to be near me? You should lock me up in a cage too. I’m a monster!”
All of them filed out of the room, leaving me alone with Evan. “Don’t say that,” he whispered. He laced his fingers with mine and our tattoos joined, forming the infinity symbol. “Remember? Stay together. Fight together. I’ll never give you up.”
I clung to him, unable to hold back the sobs, and he held me tight until I fell asleep.
The lake shore shimmered amber. The sun was setting, kissing its surface in a warm farewell. Evan emerged from the lake, as handsome as a god. Beaded water sparkled on his golden skin. The mark of the Children of Eve stood out on his left forearm. With my finger I beckoned to him, on my lips a seductive smile.
Evan rested his palms on the sand and locked eyes with me. He pressed his wet lips against mine, coaxing them open. I did as he wished and our tongues touched. Still kissing me, he made his way between my legs, pressing his erection against me, and I came alive with desire. I took him by the shoulders, swiftly pushed him to the ground, and straddled him, staring at him with a provocative look on my face. He grabbed my bottom to pull me closer, but I pinned his hands against the sand. I moved my mouth close to his, without touching it, savoring his yearning for me. Provoking him gave me intense pleasure. My hand slid down his arm. I felt the veins in his flexed muscles, my nails sharp on the tattoo of the Subterraneans. Moving very slowly, I ran my tongue over his lips. He couldn’t hold back any longer. Moaning with pleasure, he took my lower lip lightly between his teeth. I was so aroused, I wanted him. I wanted him inside me, to feel he was mine.
“Can I join your little party?” My head shot up. Evan came out of the lake house and walked up to me with a saucy little smile on his face.
If he was there, who was I . . . I looked at the Evan lying beneath me: he was still smiling at me but began to fade like a puff of smoke. The real Evan sat down beside me and I smoothed my hair, unable to meet his sly gaze. “So this is what you dream about when I’m not around.” He grinned.
My cheeks burned. It was a dream. And he’d seen everything. “You looked a lot better shirtless.”
“I can always take it off,” he teased.
“You know, you shouldn’t spy on my dreams like that,” I reproached him, embarrassed. “Besides, why did it take you so long to show up? I mean, while I was making out with the other you.”
“You fell asleep—I picked you up and carried you to bed. But you didn’t waste any time.” He raised an eyebrow. “And for the record, I wasn’t spying. I came to visit you and you were with that guy. If you want I can leave you two alone. I saw how you came onto him. Maybe I should be jealous.”
“That guy was you. Or better,” I stammered, “it was you as my imagination sees you.”
A sexy smile appeared on Evan’s face. “I’m really here now. What do you say we pick up from where you two left off?” he suggested, his voice provocative.
I laughed and punched him on the shoulder. “Stop teasing me!”
“I’m serious!” Evan protested, but I was still too embarrassed to consider his proposal. When Evan burst into my dreams, the line between reality and make-believe disappeared and everything became possible. It was just that he could read every emotion, every mood, so not only had he seen my attempt to seduce him on the beach, he must have also perceived my desperate need for him, to have him inside me. I blushed again.
“So I’m dreaming,” I said, to break the tension. “At least I realize it now.”
“Well, don’t go running away,” he warned, smiling. The last time I’d realized we were in a dream, I’d seized my chance to play around with him by hiding behind the doors of my mind. He’d found me. He always did.
“I would never run away from you,” I whispered.
Evan’s face suddenly darkened. “I wish I could believe that.”
Strangely, though he was the custodian of dreams, I’d always been able to read Evan’s soul almost as well as he could read mine. Who knew, maybe it was another one of the lethal secrets in my Witch nature. What I did know for sure was that Evan was afraid, and right then I could sense it. “You know, there’s something I really miss, something I’m sure I’ll never stop missing.”
“What?” he asked.
He turned to look at me but I continued to stare straight ahead at the water. “Heaven.” I took a deep breath, letting my heart warm at my only memory of Eden. It had been an incredible journey full of comforting sensations. Never again had I felt like I had there: complete and at peace. It was an amazing gift Evan had wanted to give me so I would be part of his world. Back then I hadn’t known that evil lurked inside me. My presence there had given us away, though, and Evan had paid the price. I was a Witch, and my world would soon be Hell. There was no place for me in Heaven. Yet the longing for it was part of our punishment—mine and my Sisters’.
Evan squeezed my hand and stroked my palm with his thumb. “We can still go there.”
I whipped my head around. What was he talking about? “Sure, if we want to enrage the celestial forces.” I smiled. “More than we already have, that is.”
Evan remained serious. “Come with me.”
“What are you doing? Stop, this is crazy!”
He took my hands and rested his forehead against mine, giving me a smile. “We’re not going to unleash any celestial forces. Trust me.” I smiled back and nodded. The world all around us disappeared.
POETRY IN THE SKY
“Evan, where are we?” I looked around, breathless. The familiar sights of our little lake had disappeared and now, spread out before us, was a seemingly endless landscape. We were high up on a snow-covered mountain. The night concealed the ocean but its song reached us nonetheless.
“What place is this?” I insisted as he savored the infinite sensations filling me.
“We’re in Norway,” he finally answered, casting me an enquiring glance.
“In Norway? You brought me to Norway?!” I exclaimed in disbelief.
“Well, technically you brought me here, given that we’re in your dream,” Evan joked, but then became serious. “It’s the closest place to Heaven there is on Earth. Look.”
I looked away from him and my eyes filled with the magic that lit up the sky. “Oh my God . . .” I murmured. Above us, the colors of the aurora borealis danced in the dark night like rays of hope. The darkness was a theater curtain that lifted to reveal the display of lights performed just for us, like a poem recited by the sky.
“They call it the dance of the northern lights. I’ve always wanted to bring you here,” Evan confessed. “Isn’t it amazing?”
“Divine,” I said, because there was no other word to describe it.
Pleased, Evan smiled. “Subterraneans love to come here. All the legends about us began in Norway. People can’t see us, obviously, but some of them with slightly sharper senses can feel our presence. Coming here is a way to ease the burden of our punishment. It’s not Heaven, but we can pretend it is. Though the Souls we’ve ferried aren’t here, we can at least meet up with other Subterraneans.” Evan laughed. “It’s a lie I like to tell myself.”
I took his hand and squeezed it, looking up at the sky again. “You’re right. It’s not Heaven. It’s much more, because we’re here together. Thank you for showing it to me.”
Evan leaned over and brushed my ear with his lips. “It can be our Heaven,” he whispered, and a shiver tickled my neck.
“I love you, Evan. I love you like I’ve never loved anyone.” I rested my forehead against his and he closed his eyes.
“Say it again.”
“I love you,” I whispered against his mouth. I kissed him and a tear dampened our lips.




