He wasn’t nearly as intimidating as…okay, that wasn’t true. Jahlil was intimidating. And over the past few days, spending so much time alone with Jahlil, Maya knew one thing. She couldn’t marry Sandoor. Not because there was a strange, niggling sensation in the back of her mind that something was wrong with their relationship.

  No, because she knew she had feelings for Jahlil. Bad, forbidden feelings. Unsisterly feelings!

  She would never act on those feelings, she vowed. Maya promised herself that she’d leave tomorrow and never talk about Jahlil again. She’d try to never even think of him again. She’d have to break off the engagement, return the ring, and beg Sandoor to remain friends, because it was the right thing to do. Sandoor was one of the best friends she’d ever had. He was fun, cute, and sweet.

  But there was no passion. None at all! She hadn’t realized what was missing from their relationship until she’d woken up this morning, remembering yet another passionate dream she’d had. A dream that had starred none other than the mighty and super-secretive, terrifyingly large and intimidating Jahlil. Yes, Maya admitted, silently to herself, she had very strong, very inappropriate feelings for her fiancé’s brother. Feelings that were so forbidden, so wrong on so many levels, that she knew she had to do the honorable thing and break off her engagement with Sandoor as soon as possible.

  But…should she wait until he’d finished his degree? Maybe she should talk to Jahlil and ask his opinion. She felt…a kinship. Was that the right word? Or maybe “connection” was a better term. Maya paused, trying to figure out what it was about Jahlil that made her feel as if she could talk to him about anything. And yet, when he looked at her, there was a strange sensation that she couldn’t really describe. It wasn’t a comfortable sensation. It was decidedly…uncomfortable! She really didn’t like it.

  “I’m a mess!” she muttered, laughing at herself. Picking up another sweater, she carefully folded and placed it in her suitcase. She’d be glad to head back home, get away from these conflicting emotions that were probably better left alone. Unexamined.

  Sandoor was a good man, she reminded herself. A fun-loving, sweet, tender, and generous man. But he wasn’t the man for her. That had become painfully obvious this week. Some woman…she paused, thinking about Mike and…now why did Mike’s image pop up every time she thought of someone more compatible with Sandoor?

  “Strange,” she whispered. “Very strange.”

  A knock on the door startled her and she turned, staring at the closed door. For some reason, she felt that strange, uncomfortable tension build up within her. “You’re being silly,” she muttered, squaring her shoulders before walking over to the door. Pulling it open, she almost gasped when she saw Jahlil standing there. For a brief moment, she’d thought he’d come to see her…for a special reason.

  Then she saw the look in his eyes.

  “What’s wrong?” she demanded, forgetting her fears and grabbing his hand, drawing him closer as if she could somehow ease whatever was hurting him so badly.

  “We…need to talk,” he said, his deep voice cracking slightly.

  “Of course,” she replied, stepping back and dropping his hand. “Please, come in.”

  Jahlil stepped into the suite and looked down at her, those dark eyes still filled with pain. He opened his mouth to say something, then stopped and sighed. “Let’s sit down,” he stalled. Again, Maya heard an odd note in his voice. It sent shivers of warning racing down her spine.

  “Jahlil, what happened? What’s wrong?” she asked as she trailed after him to the sitting room.

  “Please,” he said, gesturing to the sofa behind her, “sit down and…” he pressed his lips together, unable to continue.

  Maya sat. Not because she needed to, but because Jahlil needed her to sit. And perhaps, Jahlil needed to sit too.

  “Okay, I’m sitting. You’re sitting. What’s wrong? What happened?” she urged.

  He opened his mouth, then closed it again. Maya realized that he was clenching his hands so tightly his knuckles turned white. She reached out, covering his hands with one of her own.

  In that moment, dread filled her. Suddenly, whatever it was that Jahlil had come to tell her…she didn’t want to hear! She didn’t want to know! Somehow, Maya needed to stop his next words from being spoken! Frantically, she considered putting a hand over his mouth, forcing him to stop before he said something that would devastate her.

  “Sandoor…” he paused, closing his eyes for a moment as his fingers tightened around hers. “Sandoor was in an accident,” he continued. The pain in his eyes was nearly blinding now. It was raw and brutal, relentless and uncompromising. “The group he was with started climbing a cliff face. Sandoor…” he paused, closing his eyes again as pain lashed across his face. He swallowed hard and Maya couldn’t breathe. Jahlil opened his eyes and continued, “…didn’t put his pin in the right place or…not deep enough,” he paused, his head bowed.

  “No!” Maya whispered, her hands itching, her fingers trembling as he spoke the words that she didn’t want to hear. “Don’t!”

  “He fell…” Jahlil continued, then he stopped again, the pain obviously too much for him. “He fell and…”

  “Stop!” she yelled, standing up and backing away from Jahlil. Maya wasn’t aware of her tears. Her only conscious thought was to stop him from saying something that would shatter her world. Shaking her head, she continued to back up.

  Jahlil’s dark eyes lifted and Maya knew. She just knew! “He didn’t survive, Maya,” he explained, voice barely above a whisper.

  “No!” she shrieked, holding her hands out in front of her. “No! I don’t believe you!” Not Sandoor! He couldn’t have fallen! He was fine! This was just a misunderstanding!

  Maya shook her head, silently pleading with him to take it back. She crumpled slightly and barely managed to stay on her feet. “He takes stupid risks! He does stupid things but he’s always fine! He has to be fine!”

  Jahlil didn’t move. Through the haze of her pain, she wondered what was going through his heart. Instinctively, she knew that Jahlil was hurting just as much as she was. No, that wasn’t possible. She’d only known Sandoor for a couple of years. Jahlil had lost his baby brother. The brother that he’d loved more than anyone in the world!

  “Oh Jahlil!” she whispered as compassion broke through her pain. She moved to his side and wrapped her arms around him. She felt him stiffen momentarily, but Maya tightened her hold, trying to take away some of his pain. He shuddered, and then his arms wrapped around her. She’d been sitting beside him on the couch, but before she could blink, she was on his lap, and she buried her face against his neck as she cried.

  She sobbed with the pain of losing the most wonderful, amazing man she’d ever known. No, she hadn’t loved him as a fiancée should. And that made her cry even harder, thinking of all of the times he’d begged her to marry him. She’d betrayed Sandoor! She hadn’t loved him as deeply as she should have. And that was so wrong! She’d always sensed a pain underneath Sandoor’s relentless laughter, but she’d never understood it. Never taken the time to understand what he really felt or thought or hoped for. Maya had asked occasionally, but Sandoor didn’t enjoy serious conversations, so she’d just let it go.

  Shame on her! And her shame multiplied the pain that overwhelmed her.

  Jahlil held Maya for a long time. In an odd way, her tears and the soft warmth of her body pressed against his seemed to ease the ache of his own grief just a little. Oh, it was still there, still throbbing in his soul. But it was a little more bearable now. It was as if Maya’s touch helped him deal with the almost unbearable loss of his brother.

  He had no idea what she was feeling, but her sobs wracked her slender frame and he tightened his arms around her. She must have loved Sandoor more than he’d realized. Before Sandoor had left on his adventure, Jahlil had observed them together. They’d always appeared more like brother and sister than lovers. And he knew that Maya had never snuck into Sandoor’s suite at night. They slept separately, they acted separately, only coming together for meals or adventures. How often had Jahlil found Maya in the library, reading quietly while Sandoor was out riding across the desert? Or in the kitchen, baking with the kitchen staff because, according to her words, baking comforted her.

  He’d never heard such nonsense before, but then, what did he know about baking? He had too many meetings and issues to deal with to waste time in a kitchen. No matter how intriguing the thought might be, he knew that baking would never be on his agenda.

  His arms tightened around Maya and he felt her snuggle closer. A sniff. Another sob, but she took a deep, steadying breath. He knew that he should let her go. Let her get back to her packing. But he couldn’t. Right now, he needed her. He needed her in his arms to keep the pain at bay. It was almost as if Maya’s touch was the only thing that was holding him together as he mentally sifted through the memories of his little brother.

  How many times had he had to help Sandoor out of some mess or other? Too many to count, Jahlil thought. Maybe if Jahlil hadn’t helped Sandoor so often over the years, maybe, he would still be alive!

  No, that wasn’t right, he reminded himself. Sandoor loved danger and adventure too much. He loved life and embraced it. If Jahlil had thought that there was something special between his brother and this guy, Mike, then that was just…well, perhaps it was wishful thinking. His arms tightened around Maya again and he resisted the urge to kiss the top of her head, to run his fingers through her hair or to touch her soft skin.

  Yes, he could lose himself in Maya. He knew that he could find solace in her sweetness and her innocence. And yes, he knew that Maya was innocent. She might be intelligent and ambitious, but when it came to love and men, she was…!

  “His” popped into his mind. But that was wrong! He’d thought that word several times over the past week and he’d stopped himself each time. Maya wasn’t his woman. She was Sandoor’s fiancée. And obviously, she’d loved him very deeply.

  “Are you okay?” she whispered.

  “I’m fine,” he replied automatically.

  Jahlil felt her shift slightly on his lap and he tightened his hold around her. Thankfully, she settled back against him and the weight of her, the softness of her body and her sweet breath against his neck soothed him. Her weight kept him grounded. Her softness kept the harsh world away. At least for a moment. He’d come back to the real world soon. Jahlil just needed a few more minutes of holding Maya in his arms.

  Just a few more minutes.

  He knew the exact moment she fell asleep. Her breathing slowed into a steady rhythm and Jahlil carefully shifted so that he was more comfortable. For a long time, it might have been minutes or hours, he held Maya in his arms, staring up at the ceiling as he thought about Sandoor. About his brother’s love of life and the almost desperate way he tried to find laughter in the world.

  Maya woke up with a start. It was dark now. When had the sun set? And why was she so warm? Looking down, she realized that she was lying on top of Jahlil. She was literally draped over him, her legs tangled with his.

  She stared at his sleeping face for a long time. He was such a ruggedly handsome man. His thin nose and harsh cheekbones were so much like Sandoor’s, and yet, they were also dramatically different. His tanned skin and the harsh lines of his face whispered of a very different life. One of responsibility and someone who confronted the painful realities of life.

  Sandoor never had to face reality, she thought. He ran from it. He hid from it. Jahlil…he’d never hide from anything. He’d face it head on. She smiled, picturing Jahlil in a bullfighter’s ring. He was the defender of civilization while the bull was the pain of the real word, bashing at the doors to his country. But Jahlil wouldn’t let the bad stuff in. He’d fight that bull and keep everyone safe.

  Just as he’d done for her last night. He’d comforted her. Despite the overwhelming burdens of his everyday responsibilities, not to mention his own grief, Jahlil had shown her kindness. She doubted anyone had ever shown Jahlil kindness. He gave in the form of mercy and economic growth, ensuring a fair legal system for the people in his country. But who protected him? Who did he turn to when he was sad or weak or…she smiled slightly. She couldn’t imagine Jahlil feeling weak. No, he was too strong. She doubted it was in his nature to feel weak.

  She shifted, thinking to give the poor man a little breathing room. But as soon as she started to move, he opened his eyes and said, “Don’t go,” in a rough, pain filled voice.

  Maya blinked at him, startled by his request. Because of that look, she stopped moving and settled back against him. He couldn’t be comfortable. She was too heavy to be lying on top of him like this. But if it pushed that brutal pain in his eyes away, she’d stay here for as long as he needed her to.

  It only took a couple moments before she fell asleep again. There was something about the gentle way that he held her, his hands on her back and shoulder, and the strong, steady rhythm of his heart pounding under her ear, that soothed her.

  Chapter 5

  The funeral was miserable! It was hot, of course. But it wasn’t just the heat. It was…everything! Her hidden guilt was nearly overwhelming, because she knew she hadn’t loved Sandoor the way she should have. That only added to the unbearable sadness of the event, and the mourning crowds that lined the streets, grieving the loss of their happy-go-lucky prince. This was a brutally somber event and there wasn’t a dry eye to be seen.

  Except Jahlil. He walked stoically behind the carriage carrying Sandoor’s casket, his features carefully blank. Maya walked beside him, her face hidden behind dark sunglasses and shielded with a large, brimmed hat.

  Maya felt wrong about being in the family procession. She wasn’t a member of this family. She hadn’t gotten to the wedding and, worse, Maya knew, deep down, that she never would have. She should have told Sandoor she didn’t love him as a wife should. She should tell Jahlil that she hadn’t been a loving fiancée to his brother. But Jahlil had insisted. He’d explained that she was a member of the family, if only because she wore Sandoor’s engagement ring.

  Maya would have argued, but she saw the pain and determination in Jahlil’s eyes and knew that he needed her. It wasn’t because she was a member of the family. It was because…because he needed her. And that gave her the strength to continue along the street to the family crypt where Sandoor’s body would be interred.

  This procession wasn’t just for her and Jahlil. The funeral, ceremony, and procession, were for the citizens of Celina. They needed one last goodbye for their adventurous, fun-loving prince. Sandoor might have been irresponsible regarding his responsibilities, but the citizens of Celina adored him. They admired his whole-hearted embrace of life, love, and happiness.

  What’s more, they respected Jahlil. He was their leader and they loved him even more. Every few minutes, someone standing on the streets would break the somber silence and call out to Jahlil, offering words of condolences. Sometimes, they called out to her as well. But Maya simply bowed her head, stifling the tears that kept coming at the most inopportune moments. Thankfully, for the most part, she got through the ordeal with just trembling lips and a determination to not shame Jahlil. She had to be here to support him. She might not have loved Sandoor as a wife, but she’d love him as a close, beloved friend.

  With that in mind, she lifted her head higher, determined to emulate Jahlil. She could be strong. At least, she could be outwardly strong! Jahlil had helped her through this ordeal, so she’d do whatever she had to in order to help him.

  But when the time came for the casket to be interred, Maya couldn’t watch. She couldn’t stand by and see her wonderful friend be pushed into a cold, unfeeling block of marble.

  Instead, she looked around at the others standing near the crypt. It was a beautiful, sunny day. Not too hot, thankfully. That’s when her eyes landed on Mike. Sandoor’s friend looked as if he’d gone through hell. His hair was rumpled, his tie was askew, and his eyes were red from crying. The pain in his eyes was almost tangible! Once again, Maya wondered if there was more to Sandoor’s friendship with Mike.

  She turned her attention back to Jahlil. He was painfully still. The minister spoke a few words. And damn it, she hated the restrictions on public displays. Forget all of that! She reached out and took Jahlil’s hand! For a moment, he didn’t respond and she felt silly. But then his fingers squeezed hers. She tightened her grip, feeling the pain inside of him.

  Maya wanted to lean against him, to silently offer him strength. But she kept herself very still, knowing that Jahlil had to appear strong, even during this most horrible moment. Nothing in his world was private, she thought sadly.

  Except for that night when he’d held her in his arms. They’d shared something that night. She’d felt a connection to Jahlil from the moment she’d met him, but that night…the connection between the two of them had grown and strengthened. Maya didn’t fully understand how their relationship had changed. But it had. It frightened her in some ways, and comforted her in others.

  Jahlil walked into his office, feeling a sense of…grim finality. Sandoor was gone. His funeral was over. He had a mountain of work that he needed to sift through. But instead, he turned his back on his responsibilities.

  Maya needed…? He stopped himself from assuming that she needed him. She wasn’t his woman, he reminded himself for the millionth time. Still, he thought of something that might help her through the next few days and weeks. At least, he hoped it would.

  There was a bit of startled chaos when he stepped into the stables. Normally, his assistant would have called ahead to warn the stable hands that he was on his way. They would have had his horse saddled and standing ready for him.

  But he wasn’t here to ride.

  “My apologies, Your Highness!” the stable manager exclaimed, bowing as he rushed forward. “We were not informed of your imminent arrival. I’ll have your horse readied personally!”