I deflated my lungs with a groan. “Come on, Mom. I’m nineteen and in college.”

  My birthday had come and gone without much fanfare. Mom baked a cake and gave me a two-hundred-dollar Amazon gift card. The peanut decided only one thing in his budget would make for a good present and relinquished all claims to the third-story bedroom. But since Maddox and I had only just made our relationship official, I didn’t even tell him it was my birthday. I figured in a week or two I’d let it slip, and by then the awkwardness would have passed. Sam either didn’t remember or was too preoccupied with the “first party of the school year,” and that was just fine with me. I’d already gotten what I wanted, and he was probably waiting outside.

  “You may be in college, but you’re still living under my roof, and at nineteen, you’re legally entitled to join the military if you don’t like my rules.”

  “Really?” I let my mouth fall open as I stared at her harsh expression. She almost looked serious this time. “You’re pulling the military thing again? It’s not as if I’m going on a killing spree. I’m going to a party. With my boyfriend.” Ever since Maddox had declared himself in the dining hall, I took every opportunity to say “my boyfriend.” I’d dated a little in Annandale, but I’d never been anyone’s girlfriend before.

  “That’s exactly why I wanted to make sure you understand the rules.” With the light from the dining room behind her, Mom looked almost dangerous as she stared me down.

  I sighed and sat down on the bottom step. For some unknown reason, I’d managed to get caught in Joanie Flynn’s parent radar, and there was no sense even trying to escape until she’d said her piece. I waved her on. “Go ahead.”

  She relaxed her stiff posture and leaned against the doorframe. “First of all, I don’t like you riding on the back of his motorcycle—”

  “Mom! Maddox drives a motorcycle. But he’s very careful, and in case you didn’t know, I’ve already been on it, and I’m still alive, so the point is moot.” If she’d only known where we’d gone on the back of that bike. I was sure after-hours visits to the lighthouse would be against her rules.

  “You didn’t let me finish. I don’t like it, but I’ll let that slide. But I do expect you to check in with me when you get there, and let me know when you leave so I don’t worry.”

  I narrowed my eyes and tried to see through her poker face. “That’s it?”

  “Almost. I’d better not find out you, or especially Maddox, were drinking tonight.”

  “Drive safely, and no drinking. Got it.” I gave her a stiff salute, biting the insides of my cheeks to keep from smiling.

  “And have fun, but not too much fun. Remember, I was a teenager once, too.” She smirked, and I knew the lecture was over.

  I hopped up from the step. “So… you couldn’t have covered all of that in a text message?”

  “What? And miss the look on your face? No way.” She swatted my butt with the dishtowel I didn’t even notice she was holding and went back to whatever she’d been doing.

  After watching until she’d disappeared into the kitchen, I turned to leave. As I reached the door, my cell phone chirped with a message.

  Maddox: Something came up. Can you catch a ride with Sam? I’ll meet you there.

  I texted Sam to see if she could swing by and get me then sent a message to Maddox letting him know I had a ride.

  Me: Everything okay?

  Maddox: Yeah, just more of that family drama I was talking about. I should have it figured out before you even miss me.

  Me: Too late. ;) See you there. Don’t take too long. I’m wearing a miniskirt!

  Maddox: You’re killing me!

  The urge to type those three little life-changing words was unbearable. My fingers hovered over the touchscreen for a half a minute before I changed my mind. We hadn’t gotten to the “I love yous” yet, but it was only by sheer willpower that I managed to hold back. I didn’t want to be the first one to say it. And not in a text message.

  Sam pulled up a few minutes later, and the music thumping from her speakers reached me all the way inside the house.

  “Mom, I’m riding with Sam, so you don’t need to worry about seeing my body parts spread across Main Street. At least not until later. Love you!” Without waiting for her reply, I slipped through the door and ran the whole way to Sam’s yellow convertible. I jumped into the passenger seat with a giggle.

  “Wow. You’re in a hurry.” Sam laughed as she backed onto the street. Then she let out a squeal, burning rubber as she tore off down the street.

  Will Clark lived on a deserted stretch of road in a waterfront building overlooking Casco Bay. According to Sam, the house was originally some sort of World War II warehouse. Rumor had it that it had housed a military armory, and I couldn’t help imagining rows and rows of warheads stacked against the walls like furniture.

  Not even a single streetlight illuminated the long, narrow drive, but perimeter lights made the house glow in the distance. The angular shapes gave the building an industrial vibe, but it had supposedly been converted into a family home somewhere at the end of the last century. Vehicles squeezed into every available square inch all the way from the street to the sidewalk out front, but Sam managed to sandwich us between a hedgerow and the mailbox without getting a scratch on her car.

  “Impressive.” I gave her a nod as I inspected her parking job.

  “This isn’t my first rodeo, you know.” She flashed me a grin then cut the engine and pocketed the keys. “Okay, you’re gonna wanna stick with me. This party can get pretty intense.”

  “Intense?” I followed her out of the car, but a ripple of anxiety made my stomach clench.

  “You’ll be fine. Just don’t take any unsealed drinks from anyone but me. And don’t eat the Jell-O. Oh, and don’t go upstairs. If you have to pee, there’s a bathroom right off the kitchen.”

  I swallowed the urge to climb back into the car and sit there until Maddox showed up. “Is that it?”

  She twisted her lips to the side. “Pretty much.”

  Somehow, her lack of confidence didn’t make me feel any better.

  Sam grabbed my wrist and towed me toward the house. The pulsing beat made the ground beneath my feet vibrate, and we followed the sound all the way down the walkway to the front door. Sam didn’t bother knocking. She just pushed the door open as if she lived there and shoved her way past the sea of drunken coeds with her eyes fixed on the wall of windows in the back.

  Inside, the house looked nothing like a military fortress. Decorated in muted colors and expensive art, the living room would have looked more like a magazine layout if most of the furniture hadn’t been shoved against the walls to make room for dancing.

  “Where are we going?” I shouted over the techno beat, but it was a useless effort. A wall of sound swallowed my voice.

  Sam mouthed something I couldn’t understand then gripped my wrist tighter as she led me through the crowded room, making a quick stop along the way to grab a few bottles of apple ale. We bumped into a few people I’d seen before, but other than a quick wave, they barely acknowledged my presence.

  By the time we reached the back deck, my ears were ringing, and I discreetly checked them for blood. I’d been to my share of rock concerts but had never been exposed to music so loud. Even from outside, standing less than a hundred yards from the shore, I could barely hear the waves crashing against the rocks.

  “Oh my God, that was loud.” Sam handed me a bottle of lukewarm ale then stuck a finger in her ear and wiggled it around. “I’m seriously going to be deaf before I’m thirty.”

  “So now what do we do?” I twisted off the top and took a sip of the drink I’d promised my mom I wouldn’t have. I leaned against the railing and stared out at the ocean, regretting my decision to let Sam drag me to the party. It hadn’t seemed like such a bad idea when Maddox was going to be with me, but being there without him made my skin prickle. In a bad way.

  Sam brought the bottle to her lips and sucked it down without taking a breath. “First, we’re going to get a buzz while we wait for Paige and Hannah. Then we’re—”

  “Can I ask you something?” I turned to face her, taking a big gulp of my drink as I worked up the courage to speak the words in my head. “Why do you like Paige? I mean, she’s pretty and smart, but most of the time she’s…”

  “A bitch?” Sam shrugged with a laugh. “Yeah, I know. But I’ve known her since I was seven, so I guess it’s mostly just a habit. She isn’t all bad, you know. Give her some time. She’ll grow on you.”

  Like a wart, maybe. “Yeah, I’m sure you’re right.”

  “So…” Sam held up her empty bottle. “You want another drink?”

  I shook my head. “I promised my mom no alcohol.”

  “Oh come on. You had one little drink. It’ll wear off way before it’s time to leave.” She flashed me her sugary grin. “She’ll never even know.”

  “Fine. But just one more.” Once again, I’d fallen victim to peer pressure.

  While Sam braved the eardrum-shattering music, I watched the sweeping arc of light from the lighthouse beacon down the bay. I polished off the last of my drink and thought of Maddox.

  Where is he?

  “You look beautiful with the ocean as your backdrop.”

  I spun around to the sound of his voice, and my mouth fell open. He looked sinfully good. Not that he didn’t always look good—he did. But standing in front of me sipping an imported beer and wearing a pair of destroyed jeans with a white Imagine Dragons T-shirt stretched across his solid chest, he was almost too good to be true. I didn’t even miss the leather jacket he’d obviously left behind. He stole my breath. “You made it.”

  Maddox handed me another bottle of apple ale and leaned down to brush his lips against mine. “You couldn’t have kept me away if you’d tried.”

  “Where’s your jacket?” Okay, so maybe I missed the smell of leather a little.

  He shrugged then nuzzled my neck. “It’s a warm night.” His voice, so close to my skin, did things to me. The day’s growth of stubble on his chin rasped over my skin, sending tingles all the way to my toes.

  “You didn’t shave.” I leaned into him, mesmerized by the attention he was lavishing on me and feeling the calming effects of the alcohol in my system.

  “Do you mind?” he whispered. “I was a bit preoccupied.”

  “With your family thing?” He had me breathless, trailing kisses down the column of my neck.

  He chuckled against my throat. “Yeah, I had to do something about my family.”

  “Is everything okay now?” I pulled back to look up into his dark eyes. Something unfamiliar flashed in them, but I chalked that up to the crazy circumstances.

  “Everything’s perfect.” He smirked before closing his mouth over mine. His lips tasted faintly of beer, but the waves of intoxication coursing through me had little to do with alcohol.

  I opened my mouth to speak, but he stopped me with his tongue, massaging it against mine. The prickling in my neck spread like a brush fire as Maddox drove me to the edge of reason. I felt him everywhere at once. His hands skated over my hips then down and around until he rested them on my butt. Despite wanting to kiss him more than I wanted oxygen, my lungs burned. I wrenched my face away to steal a quick breath, and he lifted me off the ground, wrapping my bare legs around his waist.

  “Come on. I wanna show you something.” He carried me down the steps to the patio below.

  Before I realized what was happening, he had my back pressed against the rough brick wall, scraping my skin through my clothes. I ignored the pain, too caught up in the sensations created where his body lined up with mine. I had no idea what had gotten into him, but I liked it. A lot. Too much for my own good, in fact. I almost managed to push Sam from my thoughts. Almost.

  “I’ve missed you so much, baby.” He dove back in with a groan, fusing our lips together.

  He practically vibrated with tension, his grip on my thighs almost painful as he rocked against me, building toward something new and exciting but also completely terrifying. He repositioned my legs, and a spark flared inside me. We hadn’t done more than kiss before, and things were quickly moving far beyond kissing. I couldn’t believe we were doing this. Here. Out in the open. Any more pressure and I’d fall apart where we stood.

  Maddox’s hand slid down the length of my leg, caressing my calf until I couldn’t think straight, before making the trip back up. He paused just below the hem of my denim skirt, then his long fingers made the slow climb up my thigh.

  My pulse quickened, and my head spun as he reached my panties and traced the elastic leg band. “Wait.” I tried to pull away, but he held me tight.

  “I don’t want to wait. Tell me this is okay,” he begged as his other hand skated up my side, passing dangerously close to my breast before sliding into my hair. The fingers under my skirt glanced over the silk covering my crotch, and my breath caught in my throat.

  “Okay.” I panted out the word, too drunk on his touch to argue.

  He slipped under the thin fabric, exploring me with the pads of his fingers. Every time he moved, he pushed me closer to the edge. Almost there. Don’t stop now. I knew what came next, and I really wanted to be ready.

  “Damn it, Ava.” He groaned, bucking his hips into me. “I need to be inside you.”

  Fear shot through me, and I ripped my face away from his. No matter what I wanted, no matter how badly my body begged for release, I wasn’t even close to being ready. “What’s gotten into you? Are you drunk or something?”

  He had the audacity to laugh. “What’s wrong with you? Don’t pretend you don’t feel this too. And you know as well as I do we belong together, so why wait?”

  I tried to squirm out of his grip, but he held on tighter, and I was certain I’d find finger-shaped bruises marking my skin come morning. That pissed me off more and managed to strip away the last of my longing like a layer of old paint. “Maybe because we’re at a party, standing outside someone’s house for all the world to see.”

  “Let them see.” He ran his nose down my neck. “Are you afraid they’ll be jealous?”

  “You’re acting completely crazy.” I finally managed to unwrap my legs from around his waist and struggled until I stood firmly on my own two feet. My eyes burned with unshed tears, but I wasn’t going to cry in front of him. “I wanna go home.”

  His anger flared. He paced, gripping his hair in both hands. “Fine, I’ll take you home.”

  I shoved my shirt down from where it had ridden up to just under my bra. “Oh, no. I’m not riding with you. You’ve been drinking. Just go find a quiet room and sleep it off. I’ll get Sam to take me. And if she won’t take me, I’ll call a cab.”

  “No, please don’t go.” The pleading tone in his voice broke through a bit of the ice, but I was still too mad to listen.

  “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” I pushed past him to run up the steps, barely beating him into the house. Tears blurred my vision as I shoved bodies out of my way to get inside. It didn’t take long to find Sam. She had her mouth attached to some random guy’s lips across the room. “Great. There goes my ride home.”

  “Ava?”

  I spun around to face Paige and quickly wiped the trail of tears from my cheeks. “What do you want?” My voice came out nastier than I’d intended, but it was Paige. I didn’t care if I’d hurt her feelings. If she even had feelings.

  She held up her hands in front of her and took a step back. “Hey, I’m just trying to see if you’re okay.”

  I screwed up my face, trying to swap the dagger in my chest for some good old-fashioned venom. “No, I’m not okay. I needed a ride home, but it looks like I’ll be calling a cab.” I pulled my phone from my back pocket and searched for a signal to look up the number.

  “Oh. Well… I can drive you.” She said it as if it was the most natural suggestion in the world. And that made me suspicious.

  My eyes snapped up from my phone. “You? But you hate me.”

  Her bubbly laughter caught me off guard. Paige? Bubbly? Maybe I was the one who was drunk. “Listen, I know I can be a bitch, but that doesn’t mean I can’t do something nice once in a while. I only came so Hannah could get wasted if she wanted to and still have a safe way to get home. I can run you home really quick and come back. She won’t even know I’m gone.”

  The tears were back, this time for a completely different reason. “You’d do that for me?”

  “I’ll deny it if you tell anyone, but yeah, come on. I’ll take you home.” She winked. Paige—the ice princess—winked.

  Never in my wildest dreams would I have expected Paige to rescue me. Throw me to the wolves, maybe. But drive me home? Never. I managed a weak smile. “Thanks, Paige. I owe you one.”

  “And believe me, I’ll collect.” She tried to hide her grin, but I caught it just before she smoothed her features back into her resting bitch face. “Otherwise, people will think I’ve gone soft.”

  “You’re okay in my book. But I’ll totally deny it if anyone asks.” I nudged her with my shoulder. “I’m thinking—just to make sure we don’t upset the delicate balance of nature or anything like that—we should go back to being enemies on Monday. You know, at least in public.”

  She threw her head back and laughed. “Deal.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  My phone lit up with another text, and I ignored it like all the rest. The messages had been coming in like clockwork since midnight, the alert tone chirping every few minutes. I knew Sam had to have been worried since I left without telling her, but I couldn’t respond to her without seeing his name pop up on the screen. And without question, I wasn’t ready to talk to Maddox, not when simply thinking about him brought me to tears.