Later. For now, I needed time to grieve and maybe just a little time to convince myself I was overreacting, and he’d be waiting for me when I showed up in the morning. Still leaning on that stupid motorcycle as if he owned the world.

  Sleep didn’t come easily. In truth, I just didn’t want to dream. I knew if I did, he’d be there, waiting for me. And I wasn’t ready to see him yet. So instead, I took a long hot bath, letting the steam surround me like morning fog, and disappeared for a while.

  I listened to Bowie on repeat, wishing I’d hadn’t ditched my favorite band shirts to dress up for a boy who couldn’t even take the time to talk to me after stalking me for days. I should’ve never listened to Sam. Changing my appearance had put too much pressure on the situation and given too much importance to our nonexistent relationship. I’d put too much of myself into something that never panned out. And I’d let him rip my heart out when he left. I needed to pull myself together. I’d spent too much time looking for him. Thinking about him. Dreaming about him.

  Tick tock. Tick tock.

  Damned clock.

  Tick tock. Tick tock. Plink plink plink.

  “What the hell?” I sat up in the tub and wrapped my arms around my legs to listen. Interspersed between the ticking of the clock were little plinks. The cadence was off. The rhythm all wrong. But the sound didn’t stop, and despite my better judgment, I was about to investigate.

  I stepped out of the tub and grabbed a towel, wrapping it around me and securing it at the front. The old floorboards groaned beneath my feet as I stepped into my dark room. The single votive candle I’d left burning on my nightstand cast eerie shadows on the walls, and I contemplated locking myself in the bathroom until sunrise. I heard the plinking again, coming from somewhere near the window, and took cautious steps in that direction.

  I glanced down at the wash of light under the lamppost, half expecting to see Maddox standing there, dark eyes riveted to my window. But the street was deserted.

  I cupped my hands against the glass, pressing my face into them to get a better look.

  Nothing.

  A loud bang rattled the glass, and I jerked back, landing on my ass and swallowing a scream. I blinked a few times, waiting for the glass to shatter from the impact, but nothing happened. And then the light plinking started again, like pebbles against my window. I sat frozen for half a minute, listening to the clock and the plinking.

  That is pebbles against my window.

  I tugged the towel tighter around me and crawled over to look down again. This time I saw him as clear as day, standing in the shadows below, picking something from his hand and pitching it toward my house.

  I pulled myself to standing and tugged on the sash, worried that years of nonuse and paint would have sealed the window shut, but after struggling for a minute, it ripped open with a groan. “What are you doing?” I whisper-yelled down at him.

  “Trying to get your attention,” he whispered back at me.

  I tried to look angry, I really did. But staying mad was impossible when my insides felt like they were bursting with joy at the sight of him. “Well, you got it. Now what do you want?”

  “I wanted to see you. And to apologize for ditching you this afternoon. I-I had to do something.” His eyes pleaded with mine, and I struggled not to give in so easily. Being around him was dangerous for my self-control.

  I rested my stomach on the windowsill, making sure the towel didn’t fall open, and leaned out. “Something suddenly came up? Do I look like the sort of girl who believes things like that?”

  My scowl left something to be desired if his smug expression was any indication. “Maybe not, but you look like a girl who would be willing to accept a heartfelt apology when she hears one.”

  “When I hear one, I’ll let you know.” I forced myself to climb back inside and reached up to close the window.

  “Ava, wait! I’m sorry. Please. I really need to see you.” He’d wiped the cocky grin from his face and actually looked as devastated as I felt. Maybe he could feel it too—the overwhelming pull—like gravity. I was the tide, and he was the moon. I couldn’t stop myself from flowing toward him.

  My hands trembled on the sash. “Fine. I need to get dressed. Give me five minutes.”

  His smile could have lit up the whole town.

  With one good sharp tug, the window slammed shut, the glass still vibrating as I walked away. I grabbed the Ziggy Stardust shirt from my drawer then remembered what Sam told me about boys and kissing and tossed it onto my bed to find something else. I wasn’t taking any chances.

  Something Dad once said about how he loved when Mom wore his clothes popped into my head, and I dug to the bottom of the drawer to find a threadbare white T-shirt that had belonged to my father. I pulled it on and knotted it in the back so it would cling to my chest, then dove back in to find my loosest pair of jeans. They were distressed, with holes at the knees, and hung just a little low on my waist, but they were perfect. I didn’t want Maddox to think I’d gone to any effort to look good for him, but I absolutely wanted him to take notice.

  Then I pulled my hair into a ponytail before grabbing my keys. For the first time ever, I was about to sneak out. I crept down the stairs, careful to avoid the loose boards at the top—and again at halfway down—that I knew would make noise. But as soon as my hand gripped the doorknob, I panicked. What was I doing? I barely knew him. Nearly every moment I’d spent with him had occurred in my dreams, for crap’s sake! I hadn’t even known for sure if it was really him I’d kissed at the lighthouse party until two days ago. And I’d spoken more words to him while hanging out my window than I had any time before that.

  I rested my head against the door, trying to get my breathing under control, but the prickle in my neck made it difficult. Maybe I didn’t know him, but I wanted to know him.

  And just like that, I’d made my decision.

  Before stepping outside, I yanked the elastic band out of my hair and shook my head until loose waves fell over my shoulders. Such a girl thing to do. And until recently, I didn’t act like a teenage girl. I didn’t fall victim to my hormones. But I’d almost embraced the fact that, for this boy, I would always be a total girl.

  With one last deep, cleansing breath, I eased the door open and closed it behind me with a quiet snick. Across the street, Maddox stood under the light, waiting for me. He stared up at my bedroom window as if he expected me to shinny down the drainpipe at any moment.

  I studied him for a minute from the safety of the porch as he paced back and forth, combing one hand through his dark hair and jiggling his keys in the other. He darted his eyes toward the shadows, and I followed their path to the motorcycle parked along the curb. His eyes made several circuits between my window and the bike before he’d stop to lean against the lamppost. A moment later, he’d start the whole thing over again. Even from my hiding spot, I saw his lips moving as he talked to himself.

  I giggled, and his eyes snapped to mine.

  He blew out a long breath and smiled. “I didn’t think you’d come.”

  “I wasn’t sure I was going to.” That was a lie. Whether I’d be willing to admit it or not, I’d decided the instant he’d asked me.

  “Well, I’m glad you did. I owe you an apology.” He took a tentative step toward me until he stood on the edge of the road while I waited on the sidewalk on the other side.

  “A heartfelt apology,” I reminded him, biting down on my lip in a pathetic attempt to keep from smiling. It was no use. He caught me and flashed the cocky grin that made my heart flutter every time.

  Then he wiped the smirk off his face and walked forward, stopping to fall to his knees in the middle of the road. He folded his hands together and looked up at me. “I’m truly sorry for leaving you today. I hope you can forgive me.”

  Several feet separated us, but he held me in his grasp as easily as if he were actually touching me. My fingers twitched to reach out to him, so I clutched my hands together behind my back and stared down at my feet, willing them to stay put. I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t move. Afraid the smallest action would break the spell.

  All humor drained from his face, his eyes pleading with me. “Say something, Ava. Say you forgive me. Say you hate me. Say something.”

  I cleared my throat. “I don’t hate you. But I don’t understand what this is.” I unclenched my hands and waved one between us.

  The tension drained from his shoulders, and that brilliant smile I’d grown desperate for was back. “You feel it too?”

  I reached up to touch the back of my neck. “I do.”

  “Come on.” He held a hand out, and a set of headlights came around the corner and blinded me. He jumped to his feet, practically landing in my arms as he dodged the oncoming vehicle. The car blew its horn at him, and we both laughed. “That was close.”

  “You idiot. You almost got yourself killed. Are you okay?” I glanced down to where his hands flexed at my waist.

  He rested his forehead against mine, and his sweet breath washed over me. “I am now.”

  “Maddox, I—” I took a step back. I couldn’t think with him so close. I’d have to work extra hard to keep my wits about me when he was around.

  He cupped my face in his hands, holding me in place as he searched my eyes. “Take a ride with me?”

  “A ride?” My heart hammered out a new rhythm, and I knew he could feel my pulse thrumming like a frightened bird under his palms. “Where do you want to go?”

  “It’s a surprise.” He must have known the power he had over me because his hands fell away from my face, and he reached out to grab my hand, towing me toward the bike. “Trust me, okay?” The utter joy in his expression was contagious.

  I’d never been on the back of a motorcycle before. It both thrilled and terrified me. I hadn’t even climbed on yet, and my legs were shaking.

  “Here, put this on.” He handed me his leather jacket, helping me slide my arms into the sleeves and zipping me in with a smile. “There. I think I like you like this.”

  Wearing his coat was like being held in his arms. His warmth and his scent enveloped me, and I had to stop myself from sniffing the collar. “What about you? Won’t you be cold?”

  “Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.” He leaned forward and kissed the tip of my nose, stunning me into silence. He pulled on a shiny black helmet and handed me its duplicate. “Safety one-oh-one.”

  I twisted my hair into a loose knot and tucked it inside before fumbling with the strap. “I-I don’t know what I’m doing.”

  “Relax.” He reached up to still my shaking hands, securing the helmet before helping me climb behind him on the bike. With a quick glance over his shoulder, he kick-started the engine. “You ready?”

  Too scared to speak, I nodded.

  “Hang on.” And he took off, accelerating down the block.

  I clung to him like a second skin, my arms wrapped around his waist in a death grip as we flew through the town, heading north. I had my front pressed so tight to his back I could feel his heartbeat in my stomach. Or maybe that was just butterflies. I’d never experienced anything so amazing.

  Even his leather jacket couldn’t protect me from the cold while we traveled at eighty miles per hour down the dark highway. Icy air stung my hands and face. My hair worked free and whipped behind me like a scarf. God, was it exhilarating. I imagined birds feeling this way when they soared above the clouds. I was flying, and Maddox was with me.

  That was the only thing that really mattered.

  Chapter Nine

  From the minute we turned off the main road, I knew where he was taking me. Even in the dark, I recognized the shapes created by the outcropping of boulders as we turned off Shore Drive and headed down the narrow access road. The towering shape of the lighthouse came into view, and my tummy fluttered.

  Since it was after hours, Maddox switched off the headlamp and maneuvered the bike around the locked gate before driving to the other side of the deserted lot where the shadows would hide us from view.

  He parked and helped me off the bike and out of the helmet.

  “Are you sure we won’t get in trouble for being here?” I stumbled on loose rocks as he led me the rest of the way to the shoreline, but he caught me before I fell.

  He held me for a moment longer than he needed to, and I thought I might have to restart my heart. But I wasn’t complaining. He bit the inside of his cheek, holding back an obvious smirk. “We’ll be fine as long as we don’t get caught.”

  “Okay then.” I glared at him, and he laughed. “So you never said what it was you had to do this afternoon.”

  He took my hand to steady me as we climbed down a jagged rock formation to sit on the cluster jutting out into the bay. “Just a stupid family thing.”

  “Oh.”

  “Yeah, you know how it is… dealing with family drama.” He leaned back on his arms and smiled, but his jaw clenched, and his eyes tightened. “The time juggling gets old after a while, but what can you do, right?”

  “I was afraid it had something to do with me. And that idiot Abercrom—I mean Aaron Finch.”

  That time, his laugh was genuine. “I’ve been meaning to ask you why you call him Abercrombie.”

  “Because he always wears that stupid hoodie. I don’t think he’s ever washed it.” I pulled a face, remembering Abercrombie’s sweaty scent, and took that moment to discreetly sniff the collar of Maddox’s jacket. His fresh rain smell filled my lungs, washing away the sour memory.

  Maddox sat up, wrapping his arms around his bent knees, a dark shadow passing over his features. “Well, he’d better stay away from you if he knows what’s good for him.”

  His sudden bout of protectiveness made my stomach clench in a good way.

  “I have another question.” I chewed on my bottom lip and watched his reaction cautiously, the wind whipping my hair across my face. Every minute we spent out there, the colder it got. Angry waves rolled in, spraying me with icy sea mist, but I didn’t care. I would have ridden out a hurricane for the chance to spend time alone with him.

  “Go ahead.” His brow furrowed, and he tilted his head to one side.

  I let the hair flutter around my face, taking any excuse to hide from him while I asked my question. “Have you been stalking me?”

  He threw his head back and laughed. “I guess it might have looked that way, huh?”

  I pushed my hair back and nodded.

  “I wasn’t stalking you, per se.” He winked, making my stomach flutter again. “But I was watching you. I happened to be riding past your house when you pulled up that first day and…” Even in the dark, I could see the flush in his cheeks. “Well, you looked so lost… so beautiful, and I was immediately drawn to you.” He leaned forward and brushed his cool fingers over my cheek before capturing my flyaway hair and tucking it behind my ear. “I probably shouldn’t have, but I stood under the streetlight and watched you through the window. I guess I’d hoped you might come down and talk to me.”

  “I wanted to,” I said as his hand continued to play with my tangled hair. This touch sent tingles over my skin, and I had to choke back a moan. “But the next day at the hardware store—”

  “Ah, yes. The hardware store.” His hand dropped to his side, and he sat back. “Your mother was there, and I don’t exactly come off as the sort of guy mothers want to see with their daughters, now do I?”

  I scoffed. “Why? Because of the leather jacket? Maddox, my dad owned a leather jacket. I’m fairly certain my mother could have looked past your clothes.”

  He raised his eyebrows, and I realized how that statement might have come across.

  “I mean, she wouldn’t have been bothered by the way you dress. Not if I liked you. She actually trusts my judgment.”

  “Unless you decide to paint your room black?” His eyebrows went up as he waited for that statement to sink in.

  “You were listening?”

  He chuckled. “I might have been listening for a minute.”

  “Well, what about the lighthouse party? My mother wasn’t there.” Just thinking about that night sent my pulse racing. What I wouldn’t give for a reenactment of that kiss.

  “How do I explain that night?” He groaned and tipped his face up to the stars while he put the words together. “I can’t believe I’m about to admit this.” He locked his eyes on mine. “I saw you talking to your friend Abercrombie, and it made me jealous. It was ridiculous because we hadn’t even met yet, but I felt like he’d taken that chance away from me. Then you pushed him away, and he wouldn’t take the hint, so I charged in to rescue you. You know the rest.”

  “I-I don’t remember much.” My skin flamed as the memory flared in my mind. “I think we kissed. I have vague memories, but I don’t know how I ended up wrapped in a blanket, sleeping on Sam’s sneakers.”

  He smiled. “You kind of passed out. So I wrapped you up and left you with your friends. I stayed for a while and watched over you while you slept.” He laughed at my horrified expression and held up his hands in surrender. “Hey, I wanted to make sure that idiot didn’t try anything while you were out cold. As soon as he took off with your blue-haired friend, I left.”

  “Hannah?” I had to pull my chin from my chest after he dropped that bombshell. “Abercrombie left with Hannah? That’s so weird.” But it did explain a lot. No wonder she seemed so anxious around him.

  “Is that her name? I don’t know. I only saw him shoving his tongue down her throat as they walked toward the parking lot.”