The sky above the city was suddenly lit up by searchlights, even from this distance she could hear the air raid sirens wailing. Then squadron after squadron tore into the night sky to try and intercept the Germans before they dropped their bombs. These brave boys could fly in the dark, but she couldn’t see how they would find any targets until it was too late. The inside of a fighter cockpit was too noisy for them to be able to hear anything outside – maybe they would be able to see the flicker of exhaust fumes or something like that. She would ask Jack next time she saw him.

  She watched as the capital was bombed. The horizon turned orange, the smell of smoke drifted over Hatfield. Amanda was there. She prayed her friends would turn up the day after tomorrow and laugh about their experience in a communal air raid shelter. The underground stations were also being used to protect people from harm. The Germans would be bombing the docks, not the West End, so she was pretty sure they would be safe.

  The raid was over in half an hour but the flames continued to light up the sky. She couldn’t sleep now, just had to hope she would be able to remain alert until she got to her bed tomorrow. The admin members of the ATA usually arrived early so they could sort out who was doing what.

  Just before six o’clock the telephone rang and she dashed into the office to pick it up.

  ‘ATA, Hatfield.’

  ‘To whom am I speaking?’ a plummy voice demanded.

  ‘Ellen Simpson speaking, sir.’

  ‘Good God! Just the gal I wanted. Your young man has been shot down and is fighting for his life at Orpington Hospital. Get here as soon as you can if you want to say your farewells.’ The line went dead.

  The speaker hadn’t identified himself but she assumed he must be a doctor. She was listed as Jack’s next of kin, which must’ve been why they had called. Hastily she scribbled a note to Pauline, the CO, explaining she’d been called away on a family emergency. Orpington wasn’t far from Hatfield so if she was lucky and managed to get a lift she should be there in an hour. She refused to consider the possibility that she was going to lose Jack as well as Neil. In the weeks since Greg’s betrayal they’d become closer, had managed to speak on the telephone occasionally and shared weekly letters.

  Despite the hour she got a lift quickly in a vehicle delivering parts to the de Havilland factory.

  ‘Don’t often see you girls around so early, miss. Where do you want to be dropped off?’

  She explained and his expression changed to one of sympathy. ‘It ain’t that far, I’ll take you all the way. Don’t fret, miss, you’ll be there in time.’

  She arrived at the hospital only to find the reception area deserted. The place was vast, she’d never find Jack without assistance. She ran along the corridor until she saw a nurse sitting at a desk in a small office.

  ‘Excuse me, sister, I got a telephone call saying Flight Lieutenant Reynolds has been shot down and is critically ill. The doctor told me to come at once.’

  ‘Just a moment, I’ll make a phone call and see if I can locate him for you.’

  Ellie listened to the one sided conversation but couldn’t work out what was going on. The nurse replaced the receiver with a puzzled frown. ‘There is no one of that name been admitted here. Are you sure you’ve got the right hospital?’

  ‘Definitely. Now I come to think of it, the doctor didn’t say his name. Could you check if a fighter pilot was admitted recently?’

  The nurse nodded and rang a different number. This time when she replaced the receiver she smiled. ‘Do you by any chance have any connection with Squadron Leader Dunlop? I think he’s the young man the consultant was referring to.’

  Ellie gripped the edge of the table to hold herself upright. How could this have happened? Somehow, she managed to nod. ‘Yes, it must be him. Can you tell me where he is?’

  The young woman in crisp blue cotton gave her the directions. What she must have thought about her being involved with two young men Ellie could only imagine. Greg had a wife, however much he disliked her, and she should be the one who had been called to his bedside.

  Nineteen

  The hospital smelt of disinfectant, which was good, and boiled cabbage, which was less appealing. Greg was in a side ward. Ellie didn’t think this was a good sign as only the most dangerously ill were kept separate.

  The door to his room was open. When she took another step she would be visible to anyone in there. She wasn’t sure she was ready to see him – wasn’t sure if she was still in love with him. One thing she did know was that she didn’t want him to die.

  This thought galvanised her into action. She couldn’t stand dithering outside when her presence might save his life. She took the all important step and froze in the doorway.

  The man in the bed, a frame over his legs, was a stranger to her. The Greg she remembered had been young, handsome, had golden hair and smiling blue eyes. This person was haggard, his hair dull and flecked with grey. There was a blood transfusion dripping into his arm. His complexion matched the sheets.

  Then he turned his head. His eyes widened and he was her Greg again. She forgot everything, that he had married somebody else, that they were no longer together, and flew across the room.

  ‘I asked for you but I didn’t think you’d come. There’s something you need to know in case I don’t make it.’

  Her eyes filled and her throat constricted. She couldn’t speak so just took his hand in hers. He didn’t need sympathy, he needed to fight.

  ‘Don’t be ridiculous, Squadron Leader Dunlop. You’re not going to die. Your country needs you – your unborn child needs you.’ His eyes had closed and she wasn’t sure he’d heard her. ‘Greg, I have forgiven you. Don’t be so feeble. We can’t be together which is sad, but not the end of the world.’

  His eyes flickered open and he almost smiled. ‘That’s what I wanted to tell you. We can be together if you can forgive me. I’ve applied to have the marriage dissolved.’

  ‘What do you mean? How can you do that? Of course I forgive you, I love you.’

  He spoke again and this time his voice was firmer. ‘The baby isn’t mine. I’ve discovered she was already pregnant when we slept together. I wrote another will making sure she gets nothing and you get it all.’

  ‘I can’t believe it. How could she do such a wicked thing? And don’t talk about wills, let’s talk about how soon we can get married.’ She smiled down at him. ‘In fact, I don’t care if we don’t get married. I’m quite prepared to live in sin with you, as long as we’re together.’

  ‘That’s all I needed to hear, darling girl. If you’ve been as wretched as I have these past few weeks I can only apologise again.’ His colour was improving and his grip on her hands was firm. ‘I must say you look quite lovely in that uniform. A lot better than I do, I dare say.’

  ‘I should certainly hope so.’ She stretched out beside him resting her head on his shoulder. Then she told him how she’d asked for Jack as she had thought it was him who was critically injured and they laughed together.

  He drifted off to sleep for a few minutes and she propped herself on one elbow so she could look at his face. He was far too thin, there was oil ingrained in his cheeks, there was grey in his hair – but now he would start to get better.

  ‘Greg darling, as soon as you are well enough to come out of hospital you must convalesce at Glebe Farm. I’ll leave the ATA if they won’t give me compassionate leave and look after you.’

  ‘Are you sure that Fred and Mabel would want me there after what I did?’

  ‘Once I’ve explained what happened, and they see how happy I am, they will be delighted to have you.’

  There was a slight sound at the door and she looked over to see the nurse smiling in at them. Ellie had expected to be told to get off the bed but this didn’t happen. It must be because her visit had obviously made Greg so much better.

  ‘I love you, sweetheart, I don’t deserve a second chance but I’m going to take it.’ He drifted off to sleep. She was desperate for the loo and a cup of tea. A piece of toast would go down well, too.

  She waited for a few minutes but he didn’t stir. His breathing was shallow but regular. Slowly she edged her way forward. ‘I love you, I’m just going to get a drink. I’ll be back soon.’ He didn’t respond. He wouldn’t even know she had gone as she didn’t intend to be more than a few minutes.

  She stopped at the nurses’ station. ‘He’s asleep. Can you tell me where the lavatory is, please? Also, is there anywhere I could get something to eat and drink at this time of the morning?’

  ‘The WC for visitors is in the foyer. I’m afraid there’s nowhere open so early, but I’ll make you a cup of tea at the nurses’ station and have it ready for when you come back.’

  ‘That would be so kind. I won’t be long.’

  The nurse was already on her feet and walking briskly towards Greg’s room. Ellie could go in search of what she wanted knowing Greg was in the best possible hands.

  The hospital was now busy, the night shift had been exchanged for the day. The corridors were full of bustling nurses, orderlies and nursing assistants. She was on her way back and was surprised to find the pleasant nursing sister not sitting at her station.

  The door to Greg’s room was closed. She could hear the murmur of voices inside. The doctors were with him so she might as well go and find that cup of tea and come back later. It was very early for them to visit. A prickle of unease ran through her. She’d only been gone a quarter of an hour, surely he couldn’t have deteriorated in so short a time?

  As she turned to go the door opened and two grave faced men in white coats emerged and strode off down the corridor. She looked across at the bed just as the sister was pulling the sheet over Greg’s face.

  ‘No, he can’t be dead. He was just talking to me…’ She couldn’t continue. The nurse carefully folded the sheet back again. Ellie wasn’t aware that she’d moved but found herself by his side. She stretched out a tentative hand and touched his cheek, already it felt different, not quite cold but different.

  She stared at the man she loved, the man she was going to spend the rest of her life with, and something inside her died as well. A world without him in it was too awful to contemplate. She understood now that she’d been able to recover so quickly because in a small corner of her heart she’d always believed that one day they would be together again. How could life be so cruel as to snatch him away when they were finally going to be together as they should be?

  When she kissed him for the last time his lips were cold. This wasn’t Greg. It was a shell, he had gone forever. She prayed it was to a better place, that there really was another life for those that died. If she’d known she would have stayed at his side and he wouldn’t have had to die alone.

  ‘Miss Simpson, come with me. You’ve had a dreadful shock. Thank God you got here in time to say your farewells. I believe Squadron Leader Dunlop was just holding on until you arrived.’

  Ellie turned away from the shrouded shape on the bed. She was about to explain that she wasn’t the person who should have been here but realised that was incorrect. Elizabeth might be his legal wife, but she was the woman he loved and the right person to be at his bedside. She couldn’t think about the legal ramifications of what he told her – not now – but it was some small comfort to know that wicked woman would get nothing.

  ‘If I’d known what was going to happen I wouldn’t have left him.’

  ‘He didn’t regain consciousness after you left, Miss Simpson. I was with him when he died but he wouldn’t have been aware of his surroundings at that point. I’m so sorry for your loss.’

  She was numb. There were things she should do but her brain refused to function. She swallowed a few mouthfuls of oversweet tea and then put it aside. ‘May I use your telephone? There are things I need to arrange.’

  Once she was alone she rang Kenley. Jack would know what to do.

  *

  The telephone rang and Jack, like the other guys, was already on his feet waiting for the order to scramble.

  ‘Hey, Flight Lieutenant Reynolds, urgent phone call for you, sir,’ the orderly yelled through the window.

  Everyone resumed what they were doing and he ran for the office. ‘Reynolds here.’

  ‘Jack, Greg’s dead. I’m at Orpington Hospital and I’m not sure who to contact.’

  He didn’t ask what she was doing there, that could come later. ‘I’m on duty, Ellie, there’s nothing I can do at the moment. I can’t stay on the line. Ring Hornchurch and speak to his CO. I’ve got to go. I’ll come and see you as soon as I can.’

  The receiver had only been replaced a second when it rang again. This time it was for them. He pushed all thoughts of Ellie and Greg to one side and concentrated on staying alive and stopping the bastards from getting any more bases.

  This time they all returned safely from the sortie and he went straight to the adjutant to ask for compassionate leave at the end of his shift. ‘I’ve been on duty every day for the past two weeks, God knows how many sorties I’ve flown. The squadron can manage without me for twenty-four hours. Death in the family.’

  ‘Right, sorry for your loss. Make sure you’re back this time tomorrow.’

  He wasn’t asked who had died and Jack didn’t volunteer the information. He threw a few things into an overnight bag and then rang Hatfield. He was told that Ellie was delivering a Lysander but was expected back at any moment.

  Getting to Hatfield from Kenley was a bugger if you didn’t have your own transport. He had the best available – his Hurry. There were no bods to use his kite so he was going to go AWOL with it. He would face the music when he got back.

  His ground crew asked no questions and he supplied no answers. ‘I’ll be back tomorrow. Not going far.’

  He taxied across the apron and waited for his turn on the runway. No doubt someone in the control tower would report that he’d flown off without permission. Too bad. Ellie needed him and being put on a charge was fine by him.

  He landed at Hatfield and parked the kite out of the way. He nabbed a bicycle from outside a hangar and cycled across to the offices. Someone must have seen him coming – one of the benefits of having such distinctive hair – and Ellie came out to meet him.

  She fell into his arms and he hugged her. ‘Right, let’s find somewhere quiet where we can talk. Tell me what happened.’

  When she had finished his eyes were moist. ‘What did his CO say when you rang?’

  ‘He had already been informed of Greg’s death and that someone would be contacting Elizabeth. He said he was glad I got there in time to say goodbye.’ She was too choked to continue and he handed her his handkerchief. When she recovered she continued. ‘He’s going to tell me when the funeral is and I’m going to go – I hope you’ll come with me.’

  ‘I will if I can get the time off, which is highly unlikely. Why don’t you get Fred and Mabel to come? After all they knew him as well as I did.’

  She sniffed and nodded. ‘I’ll do that. But I’m afraid that’s not all.’ She told him about the will and that Greg had been seeking to get the marriage put aside.

  ‘Sod me! That’s not good. What are you going to do?’

  ‘I’m just ignoring it. I don’t think the will is read until after the funeral. Time enough to worry when someone contacts me. I expect that woman will try and overturn it – but Greg wanted me to have his estate and I’m going to fight for it.’

  ‘I can’t tell you how sorry I am that just as things were sorting themselves out he died. Anything I can do to help, you only have to ask.’

  ‘I suppose I should be grateful he died knowing we could be together after all. But it’s no comfort to me – it just makes it so much worse. If that woman hadn’t interfered we would have been married and maybe I would be having his child.’ She turned away, not wanting to show him her tears.

  ‘I made him a promise, honey, that I would look out for you if anything happened to him. He wrote to me the other week, he didn’t tell me all this, but wanted to be sure you wouldn’t be on your own if he bought it.’

  ‘I only want a good friend, Jack, nothing else. I don’t think I’ll ever want anything else from you or any other man.’

  ‘I didn’t mean anything else. I know how you felt about Greg and I don’t expect to replace him. You’re a girl who can look after herself and I can’t see that changing.’ He squeezed her shoulder affectionately. ‘I just want you to know I’m here if you need me.’

  She managed a watery smile. ‘That’s if you’re not fighting to keep Britain safe. That must always come first. And don’t die as well.’

  ‘I’ll do my best to stay alive, honey, and you do the same. Let me know the time of the funeral and I’ll come if I can. Also, if you have any trouble from his wife don’t try and handle it yourself. Make her speak to your solicitor.’

  ‘In which case, I’d better get on and find myself one. I didn’t tell you, did I, that three of the girls from here were caught in the air raid in London the other night? Luckily, they weren’t hurt, but lots of people were. Sometimes I wish I had become a doctor – being a ferry pilot isn’t nearly as useful.’

  ‘It damn well is. Without the ATA the RAF wouldn’t be able to function so well. Our new crates wouldn’t get to us on time.’

  ‘True, but at the moment only the men can fly operational aircraft. Pauline, that’s Pauline Gower our CO, is hopeful we’ll be able to at least fly single engine fighters sometime soon.’

  He hugged her again and then pedalled back to his Hurry. Although he’d been given a twenty-four hour leave of absence, he hoped that by returning in a fraction of that time he might be forgiven for taking his kite with him.

  Greg had been shot in the leg – he shouldn’t have died from that. He thought the poor sod had given up the will to live. No – the man had everything to live for, he would have wanted to stay alive so he could be with the woman he loved.

  Jack loved Ellie, was prepared to remain celibate for the foreseeable future on her behalf, but if she died he wouldn’t want to top himself. You only got one go on this earth and, as far as he was concerned, you owed it to yourself to experience as much as possible and stay alive however bloody awful things might seem.