She rarely saw her room mate and spent her free time with Rebecca. Joan had shown her the basic electric heater that had been supplied by the radar mechanics. It consisted of an element inside a jam tin – on this you could boil a kettle or make toast. This was strictly forbidden, naturally, but no one took any notice of this. If the food had been better then perhaps the girls wouldn’t have taken the risk of being put on a charge.

  After completing their fourth watch, the one that ran from one o’clock until six o’clock, she had joined the other two girls in the larger room to make tea and toast and marmalade.

  ‘How many slices, Ellie?’ April asked as she waved a slice of bread impaled on a fork.

  ‘Two, please, I’m starving.’

  Rebecca was in charge of making the tea and was busy on the far side of the room straining it into the mugs. The room smelt delicious, there was nothing better than the aroma of hot toast when you were hungry.

  Not only had they pinched mugs from the canteen, they’d also got plates. As they carried their own irons they’d no need to take cutlery as well.

  April dropped a piece of toast onto a waiting plate and passed it to her. Soon they were all busy munching and slurping tea. The heater that had been used for the tea had cooled enough to be put back under the bed, but the one that had been used for toasting was still in the centre of the room as it was too hot to move.

  Suddenly the door opened and Sergeant Frost appeared. This was a spot inspection. They were instantly on their feet and Ellie automatically stepped in front of the heater, hoping to prevent it from being seen.

  Rebecca had had the presence of mind to toss a cardigan over it. There was a pungent smell of burning wool but Frost didn’t seem to notice.

  She pointed to the offending object. ‘Not good enough, items of clothing should be put away, not left lying about on the floor.’

  ‘Yes, Sergeant Frost,’ they chorused.

  Ellie was sure the woolly would catch fire at any moment and if it didn’t actually burst into flames the smell would still be so strong they would be found out and put on a charge.

  ‘As you were.’ Frost nodded and vanished as quickly as she had arrived.

  Rebecca snatched the garment from the heater and flapped it overhead, laughing. ‘Golly, that was close.’ She sniffed the wool. ‘April, it’s a bit singed on the inside but perfectly wearable. Sorry, it was the nearest thing I could find.’

  ‘Heavens, I thought we’d had it then. I don’t understand why she couldn’t smell it.’

  Ellie pushed the offending heater across the room with her shoe – it was still too hot to pick up – until it could be put under the sink where it was hidden by a draped towel. The room had its own sink which the six girls shared. She and Joan were obliged to use the bathroom down the corridor along with another roomful of WAAFs.

  ‘I think the smell of toast and marmalade was even stronger than the burning cardigan. I think Frost just had to do the inspection but didn’t want to find anything. I bet she does the same as we’ve just done. No one can be happy eating only the horrible food we get from the cookhouse.’

  ‘Good point. I’m sure the mechanics made these makeshift cooker/heaters for that very reason,’ Faye said. ‘By the way, we’ve only got one more shift and then we get our pass. I want to go into Felixstowe. I gather we can book into a hostel – most of the girls do this.’

  ‘We need to get an overnight pass,’ Ellie said. ‘It’s too late to get one from admin now and we won’t have time before we go on our watch at eight o’clock tomorrow morning.’

  ‘According to the other girls it’s just a formality – doesn’t take more than a few minutes to fill in the form. The ferry runs back and forth all day and so do the buses,’ Rebecca added.

  ‘That’s good. I’m going to bring back a packet of biscuits if I can find any.’

  ‘We don’t have ration books and we might not get anything decent without coupons, April,’ Faye told her friend.

  ‘What a swizz! I think if you’re in uniform you can buy anything so we might be lucky. If not, we’ll just have to do with stolen toast, butter and marmalade to keep us going. At least we can eat out when we’re in Felixstowe and you never know, they might have spotted dick or roly-poly pudding for afters,’ April said.

  Ellie remained with her team and they played a lively game of Whist until she decided to call it a night. ‘I’m going to turn in. Thank you for allowing me to spend the evening in here – I actually would prefer to be billeted with you and not on my own with Joan.’

  She said her good nights, nipped downstairs to use the bathroom and turned in.

  The next watch was relatively uneventful although there were several blips on the screen. She swallowed a lump in her throat when one of them disappeared – at first she couldn’t see if it was a hostile or one of theirs that had gone down. If it was a friendly aircraft they transmitted an extra blip. It was one of their boys and the plane crossed the coast flying barely higher than the treetops and the aerials.

  At the end of their watch, as they were hurrying to the admin office to get their sleeping-out passes, she mentioned the damaged aircraft that she’d plotted earlier. ‘It was such a relief when he didn’t ditch in the drink. I do hope he managed to get back to his base.’

  ‘I’m dreading watching one of ours crash,’ Rebecca said. ‘It’s strange that we’ve already had half a dozen stagger past in the short time we’ve been here.’

  Ellie didn’t want to talk about it any more as it just reminded her that Neil hadn’t made it, and that Greg and Jack were still flying sorties every day and putting their lives at risk.

  They’d already agreed not to go to the cookhouse. They were looking forward to finding something more palatable to eat in Felixstowe when they got there.

  *

  Greg had had little sleep the past few nights as his squadron was on call. They’d been scrambled every morning but hadn’t seen a dicky bird. The chaps seemed relaxed enough, no one talked about those that had died only a few weeks ago, it was as if they had never existed.

  He was surprised to see an envelope with Ellie’s familiar handwriting waiting for him on his return to get some kip. He opened it and smiled. She’d get a thirty-four hour pass every four days and suggested they might be able to meet in Felixstowe if he could get a twenty-four hour pass.

  If the bloody Germans stayed in France for a bit longer it was just possible he could get a few hours free. His squadron had done a week of nights and they should get the day off before they started days. He wouldn’t get leave overnight, but he might get time to go to Felixstowe and meet up with his darling girl for a few hours.

  He checked exactly when she would be in Felixstowe and it coincided with the end of his night shifts. When he spoke to the adjutant he was happy to sign a chit giving him twelve hours off base. ‘Make bloody sure you’re back, Dunlop, or we’ll both be for the high jump. Not supposed to allow any of you chaps out of my sight just in case the balloon goes up.’

  ‘Scout’s honour, Sarge. You can rely on me.’

  He cadged a lift to Romford and was fortunate a train steamed in just as he arrived. He didn’t need to buy a ticket so dodged past the guard and leapt onto the train as it was pulling out again. In his effort to get on he managed to step on several brown jobbies and if there’d been a bit more room no doubt there would have been fists thrown.

  When he disembarked at Ipswich it occurred to him that he hadn’t told Ellie he was coming and he had no idea how big this town of Felixstowe was or if he’d be able to locate her. He hadn’t come all this way to fail. He wasn’t going to leave without spending time with her, however short it might be.

  When he explained to a friendly guard that he’d travelled without a ticket or travel docket and needed to pay he was waved away. ‘No need, you boys in blue are going to save us from the Huns. You can travel anywhere you like for nothing as far as I’m concerned. There’s a train to Felixstowe in half an hour, it comes into the same platform so stay where you are.’

  Greg felt a bit guilty travelling for nothing, especially as there was a war on, but he thanked the guard and didn’t argue. Wearing a uniform did give one some privileges after all. He’d left the base at eight thirty – it was now nearly eleven o’clock. With any luck he would be in Felixstowe before Ellie arrived. She would be coming on a bright blue bus so it shouldn’t be hard to spot her transport. Her watch didn’t finish until one and it must take at least an hour, if not longer, to get across the river on the ferry and into the town. Before he left the station, he must ask about trains back as he wasn’t going to risk being AWOL.

  The town was small enough for him to walk to the ferry terminal from the station. There was a decent café and he parked himself at a window seat so he could watch who clambered out on the hard. He’d barely taken a few mouthfuls of his tea when the small boat chugged across filled with uniformed RAF and WAAF personnel. Ellie was the first to scramble out and he smiled as one of her shoes got wet.

  ‘I’ll be back in a minute,’ he called across to the ancient waitress. ‘I need another cup of tea, please, for my fiancée.’

  The sun was shining, making the river water sparkle. It was hard to be depressed on a day like this. He pushed his guilt aside and strode towards the woman he loved.

  ‘Ellie, I can’t tell you how good it is to see you.’

  His sudden appearance caused her to stop so suddenly the girl behind cannoned into her back and if he hadn’t jumped forward they would both have ended up on the ground.

  ‘Greg! I didn’t expect to see you today. I can’t believe you’re here.’ Without hesitation she flung herself forward and to a chorus of whistles and cheers he kissed her.

  She pressed his chest and immediately he released her. ‘I want to introduce you to my team…’

  With his arm still around her waist he turned, but the three girls had already clambered onto the waiting bus along with the half a dozen RAF chaps.

  ‘Oh no! We must catch the bus too. I don’t know where the girls will be staying.’ She started to move towards the vehicle but he grabbed her arm.

  ‘I can’t run off, I’ve not paid for my tea in that café over there. From what I’ve seen Felixstowe isn’t all that big, it should be easy enough to find them later. I’ve got to catch the four fifteen train, so we’ve not got long.’

  ‘Then I’ll spend every second with you and find the others afterwards. I’ve got so much I’d like to tell you about my job but I’m not allowed to talk about it.’

  ‘I don’t want to talk about your current job. I want to know if you’ve heard anything from the ATA.’

  Hand in hand they walked back to the café and two steaming mugs of tea were waiting for them.

  ‘As all letters have to go in a roundabout route, I don’t suppose I’ll hear for a few weeks. I suppose I should have told you before I applied but it’s what I want to do and why I don’t want to get married until the war’s over.’ She looked earnestly at him. ‘If I’m flying myself I won’t have time to worry about you or Jack and I know just how dangerous things are going to be for all aircrew.’

  The last thing he wanted to do was talk about the chance he was going to go for a Burton. Why had she mentioned Jack in the same sentence as him? Was there something going on between them he didn’t know about? He was about to enquire further when his stomach clenched. He had no right to ask. She was not going to betray him the way he’d done to her.

  ‘Have you heard from him lately?’

  ‘Actually, we spoke on the phone just before I came here. He’s been promoted – he’s a pilot officer now.’ She pointed to the insignia that indicated he was a flight lieutenant. ‘You did tell me you’d been promoted too. I’m an LACW now which doesn’t seem to make much difference, apart from a few extra shillings in my wage packet at the end of the month.’

  They were silent for a bit as they sipped their tea. He looked over his shoulder and beckoned the waitress across. ‘Can you make us something to eat? I don’t see a menu anywhere.’

  ‘I can do you cheese on toast, egg on toast or, if you’re prepared to wait a bit, a nice plateful of fish and chips. My Stanley fetched me some lovely fresh cod from the market this morning.’

  Ellie’s eyes lit up as if she’d been offered a banquet. ‘Fish and chips would be absolutely perfect. Would you mind if we went for a walk along the river whilst you prepared it for us?’

  ‘You go along, lovey, it’ll take me half an hour.’ The old lady hurried off muttering to herself.

  ‘I wish I could take you somewhere special, you deserve a treat.’

  ‘Believe me, darling, freshly cooked fish and chips will be perfect. The food at Bawdsey Manor is horrible.’

  They finished their tea and walked down to the riverbank. Occasionally they heard the drone of an aircraft, but nothing flew close enough for him to identify it. He had a pretty good idea what her job was, she was a radar operator, but he knew better than to say so.

  The meal was surprisingly delicious and was washed down with a second mug of tea. By the time they’d finished and he’d settled the bill he only had an hour before his train left.

  ‘I really mustn’t miss my train.’

  She gestured to the waiting bus. ‘That will leave as soon as the next ferry comes in. Haven’t you noticed there’s a shuttle service running especially for us.’

  To be honest he’d not noticed anything apart from how beautiful she was, how much he loved her, and how much he bitterly regretted his drunken evening with Elizabeth.

  ‘I’m not from Bawdsey, will I be allowed to go on it?’

  ‘He never asks for identification – as long as you’re in blue you’ll be okay. Look, the ferry’s just coming now.’

  There were only a couple of passengers as well as the two of them but the bus driver didn’t complain. He crunched his gears, the ancient vehicle wheezed and groaned, and they rattled directly to the station.

  ‘I’ve still got three quarters of an hour – shall we go in search of your friends?’ He didn’t want her to be wandering about on her own in case she was accosted by someone. She didn’t realise just how lovely she was but he’d been well aware of the appreciative looks from all the men they’d passed.

  On enquiring they were directed to a hostel and he was pleased to see her friends had booked in here for the night. Ellie added her name to the reservation book.

  ‘I’ve just realised you don’t have an overnight bag with you.’

  ‘I’ve got my toothbrush in my pocket. That’s all I need really. I’ll wash and change when we get back. It’s what everyone does.’

  She politely enquired where her friends might have gone and was told they’d gone to look at the pier, which was in the process of being demolished in case there was an invasion.

  There wasn’t time for him to escort her there. If he didn’t get moving he wouldn’t be back at the station on time.

  ‘Darling girl, I’ve got to dash. I doubt I’ll get a pass again until things settle down a bit. Take care of yourself, I love you.’ His eyes were moist and there were tears on her cheeks as he kissed her goodbye.

  ‘I love you too. I’ll write to you every week as always. You never know, the next time I see you it might be when I fly into Hornchurch as an ATA girl.’

  He kissed her one last time and strode off too choked up to say anything else. She deserved better than him. When this bloody business was over he would tell her what had happened and just pray she could forgive him. He wasn’t sure he could marry her with this secret between them.

  He slept from Ipswich to Romford. He didn’t want to consider the future and sleeping kept his dark thoughts to himself.

  Five

  After an enjoyable break Ellie returned to Bawdsey determined to repeat the experience after the next four day rota. They had to miss the weekly Sunday dance this time as they were on duty. After the third watch she and Rebecca spent the evening chatting and reading. The other two had gone out somewhere.

  ‘I noticed that both of them were done up to the nines, Ellie, do you think they’re meeting gentlemen friends?’

  ‘I don’t see how they could be. The men here are segregated from us – they’re not even allowed inside the manor except for the Sunday dance.’

  ‘I didn’t think either Faye or April were like that.’ Rebecca shrugged. ‘I suppose when there’s a chance we could all be blown up by a bomb when the invasion starts your perceptions change. Anyway, there are plenty of men to choose from and some of them are quite attractive.’

  ‘Are they? I must say I’ve not noticed. I’ve only got eyes for Greg. I’ve had ample opportunity to sleep with him but wanted to wait until we’re married.’

  Her friend looked horrified. ‘You can’t leave it that long. What if he was killed? Wouldn’t you regret not having been his lover? After all, you are engaged.’

  This was a strange conversation but then Rebecca was a married woman so had a different outlook. ‘I must say I did consider it. If he had stayed overnight after my brother’s funeral I would definitely have gone to him. In fact, if he gets any leave again I’ll do it. I just don’t want to be an unmarried mother.’

  ‘No danger of that nowadays. He’ll have something – all servicemen do.’

  Ellie didn’t like to ask exactly what the ‘something’, to which her friend referred, was. The very thought made her feel hot all over. She might be an experienced flyer, an excellent radar operator, but when it came to worldly matters she was sadly lacking.

  ‘It’s nearly eleven o’clock. I’m going to turn in. I hope the other two don’t arrive after midnight as I’ll have to report them.’

  The only time they were allowed to be off the premises later than that was when they had an overnight pass. The limited facilities on the base meant there was only the NAAFI, the cookhouse or the crew room. They must have gone across on the ferry and spent the evening at the Ferry Boat Inn.