After that, he’d been in a bit of a daze as he’d moved around, talking and catching up with people. He’d kept looking for Levrith but hadn’t been able to find him.

  But it was all right. They’d have all the time in the world together.

  “And you’ll let me know if you aren’t feeling up to anything, won’t you, Ceto?” Silas asked, standing beside him on the beach. “In fact, I want you to report daily to me on how you’re feeling.”

  “I will, Captain,” Ceto said. He held himself still, trying not to show his annoyance. Had Silas always been this overbearing? He’d never noticed before.

  “It’s good to have you back.” Silas clapped him on the shoulder. He then turned and strode towards Everett, probably to discuss whatever medicinal supplies they still needed to get before they left the island.

  Ceto turned back to the water, overseeing the crew. They hauled wooden crates, barrels, and hessian sacks onto their shoulders and trudged to the rowboats floating in the water. They flung the cargo down. Ceto put his hands on his hips, chest puffing out. It was good to be useful again. To feel valued.

  He spotted Levrith on the beach. He hefted a crate of coconuts, mangoes, and bananas onto his shoulder and waded into the water.

  When did he get here?

  He jogged towards him. “Levrith,” he said when he came alongside him, falling into step. “I didn’t see you arrive. How long have you been here?”

  Levrith didn’t pause or look at Ceto, which wasn’t surprising considering he carried a crate of fruit. “Just got here. Saw you talking to the captain. Didn’t want to disturb.” His voice sounded subdued. “Just saw what needed doing and started doing it.”

  That was exactly like Levrith. Just doing what needed to be done. He was so reliable. So wonderful. Ceto watched the muscles move in Levrith’s arms as he carried the crate of fruit.

  “It’s great, isn’t it? I can’t wait to set sail. Can you? It’ll be good to have everything back to normal again.”

  Levrith’s jaw clenched, and he didn’t respond.

  Ceto cursed himself. Levrith was leaving his family. Of course he was down. Levrith dropped the crate into the rowboat. It landed with a thud.

  Ceto wanted to pull Levrith to him. To apologise for being so thoughtless. He wanted to kiss him and tell him it would be all right. That they would visit. That he loved the island too. But the crew were all around, and he didn’t think it’d be appropriate for the first mate to kiss one of the crew whilst on duty.

  “Ceto,” Silas called. He turned to see Silas signalling for him back on the beach.

  “Sorry,” he said to Levrith as he started wading back.

  “It’s fine. When the captain calls, you go.” Something in his voice made Ceto turn back.

  But Levrith was already back to work, wading to shore to get more supplies.

  Levrith waded through the water, his mind and body weary. Previously, it had been painful watching Ceto fawning over the captain. But now, after the past few weeks, after everything they’d been through, it was agony.

  Perhaps he shouldn’t go back to the Naiad’s Revenge. He could just stay on Lilliana. A twinge of pain travelled through his chest. He hated the idea. He didn’t want to leave the crew. Didn’t want to leave the Naiad’s Revenge. He loved being a pirate. Loved the adventure and the travel. And if he left, he wouldn’t see Ceto anymore.

  He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know if he could go back to just being friends with Ceto. He’d once thought it was enough, that he could push his feelings aside. But he didn’t know if that was true anymore. The idea of staying on the island didn’t necessarily thrill him. But it was familiar. It was safe. And it didn’t feel anywhere as conflicting as being on the ship.

  The rest of the morning passed in a daze. They loaded up the supplies they’d bought and traded, and the crew readied the ship to depart.

  His family and the rest of the village came to the beach as they prepared to leave Lilliana. He was glad that Ceto was able to drag himself away from the captain long enough to say goodbye.

  Levrith forced a smile. He didn’t want his family to see how conflicted he was feeling.

  His mum hugged him. “It’s always so hard to see you go, but I like to think of you out there, seeing the world. And it makes me so happy to know you have Ceto now.” She pulled back and kissed him on the cheek. “I love you.”

  He squeezed her back. “Love you too, Mum.” He couldn’t bring himself to say anything about Ceto.

  He waved to them as he got in the rowboat.

  Ceto gave a joyful wave. “Goodbye and thanks for everything!” Then he dived into the water, swimming back to the ship. Levrith had never felt so distant from him.

  Levrith kept watching his family as he rowed the boat, muscles straining. He kept watching them until they became tiny, then disappeared from sight. As he boarded the Naiad’s Revenge, he couldn’t help but wonder if he had made the wrong decision.

  Chapter

  Twenty-Two

  I’ve made the wrong decision. By midday the next day, Levrith was certain of it.

  Captain Silas Tivera stood at the helm of the Naiad’s Revenge. Ceto stood next to him, hands clasped behind his back, mirroring the captain. He no longer wore only a shirt and breeches, like he had during his stay in Lilliana. Instead, over his shirt, he wore his immaculate black jacket with silver buttons. On his feet were his freshly polished boots, whilst his tricorn hat perched on his neatly plaited hair. He barely blinked, merely nodding as he hung on the captain’s every word.

  Everything was back to normal; that was what Ceto had said. What he’d wanted. And their time together on the island gone. As if it had never existed.

  “Everything all right, Levrith?” Tomas called out, walking towards him, wooden leg clomping across the deck.

  “Everything’s all right,” Levrith grunted.

  “You look a little sick. You’re not about to vomit on the deck, are you?” He laughed. “You didn’t lose your sea legs from being so long on land, did you?”

  “Probably isn’t used to hard work after lazing around eating coconuts all day,” one of the others called out.

  The other sailors laughed, and Levrith made himself join in.

  A stiff wind blew, stinging his cheeks. He tried to focus on the line that he clutched in his hands as he and the others went about reefing the mainsail, but his gaze kept sliding to Ceto. The captain said something, clapping Ceto on the shoulder. Ceto practically beamed. Levrith turned away. He didn’t know why he tortured himself watching them together.

  The previous night, after their shift had ended, Levrith had hoped Ceto would find him. Talk to him. Choose him. He’d foolishly waited on deck. Instead, he’d watched as Ceto and the captain had disappeared into his quarters. He’d tried to tell himself it was fine. But he hadn’t been able to stop imagining what was happening in there. Now that Raiya was gone, had the captain finally turned his affection to Ceto?

  His grip on the line tightened. And even if nothing had happened, did it matter? He’d seen the way Ceto looked at the captain. Seen it for years. Even if they didn’t have sex, it was still clear. Ceto loved Captain Silas Tivera. Not Levrith. And that was the end of it.

  Levrith felt like an idiot. He’d thought Ceto cared for him. That everything had changed. But only one thing had changed: the captain hadn’t been there on the island. Now that the captain was back, Ceto only had eyes for him. And why wouldn’t he? Ceto had loved the captain for years. Why would that change so quickly?

  Levrith didn’t know what he was going to do. How could he speak to Ceto, knowing that Ceto didn’t love him? That he never would. He would always be Ceto’s second choice. And for once, he wanted to be his first.

  “This is the journal belonging to the sorcerer who attacked you.” Silas handed Ceto the open leather-bound book, pointing at one of the entries. “Read that entry.”

  Ceto and Silas sat on either side of the heavy wooden desk. After coming off duty, they’d retired to Silas’s quarters, where the captain caught him up on all that he had discovered. Ceto took the book, his pulse picking up speed. Even if the sorcerer was dead, he could still remember the feel of the blade slicing into Ceto’s skin, the poison seeping into his veins.

  Ceto cleared his throat and read, “The healing last night went well. The prince is on the mend. News has already spread throughout the capital. Today I received many letters from other nobles of Merrimar asking for my help to heal their sick. This is a great opportunity for the Order.” Ceto paused and looked at Silas. “The sorcerer who attacked me, he healed the Prince of Merrimar?”

  “It seems so. From what I can tell, he was one of the Order’s best healers. Best sorcerers, in fact. Although, he must have been better at healing than he was at fighting.” Silas took the journal from Ceto and placed it on the table. “It appears he and the others were on their way to Nebern when they attacked us, to heal the queen.”

  “The queen?”

  “The Order promised to heal many prominent people. One of those was Queen Gavina, the Queen of Nebern, who was on the brink of death.” Silas leaned back in his chair. “They were unable to fulfil their promise when they failed to capture the naiads on Naiad Island. They needed to capture and drain many nymphs in order to heal the queen. And all the others they had sworn they could heal. And when powerful and eminent members of society die, and you promised to save them, those who believe in you abandon you. Or worse.”

  “Worse?”

  Silas opened a drawer, took out a letter, and handed it to Ceto. “This is from Teilo, one of my contacts in Nebern.” Silas tapped a finger on one part of the letter. “See here.”

  “After the queen died, many from the Order were exiled from the capital, their temples, lands and properties seized,” Ceto read aloud. His hands tightened on the letter, the paper crinkling slightly. His eyes raced along the scrawled words. “King Acario executed those from the Order who had said they could heal the queen. All those who were not exiled fled.” Ceto stared at the words in shock.

  “It’s going very badly for the Order,” Silas said with a slight smile. “And it’s similar in Merrimar and any other kingdom where they were expanding. They needed to succeed at Naiad Island to heal all those they had sworn they would. Instead, they lost many of their ships, warriors, sorcerers, and resources. They failed. Their Grand Mission to expand throughout the kingdoms, gaining influence and power, came to nothing.”

  “I’m glad.” Ceto gave a single sharp nod. After everything the Order had done, to not only himself but all the other nymphs, it pleased him to finally feel like they had wounded the Order. He took a deep breath. Finally, they were getting some revenge. Some justice.

  “But we mustn’t underestimate them,” Silas said. “I’ve had word that they are already regrouping. It seems they will not be defeated so easily.”

  “Of course,” Ceto said. “We will do whatever it takes to defeat them.”

  Silas nodded, leaned toward him, and took the letter. “Your reading has improved a great deal.” Silas opened a drawer and placed the letter inside.

  “Levrith is a good teacher. We practised a lot.”

  “I can tell. I’m glad you made good use of your time. I was worried you might have been displeased being there. I wasn’t sure how you would handle living on an island of humans.” He stood, straightening the rest of his papers and then laying them in the drawer. “I know you don’t always feel comfortable around people.” He pulled a key from the inner pocket of his jacket and locked the drawer before sliding it back into his pocket.

  Ceto stood. “The people there were very welcoming and kind.”

  Silas nodded. “I’ve been meaning to ask, Is Levrith all right? He’s seemed distracted since rejoining the crew.”

  Ceto knew what he meant. The past few days, Levrith had been quiet and reserved. Melancholic. Despite Ceto’s attempts, they’d barely spoken. To be fair, Ceto had been busy catching up on his duties, trying to get on top of everything, and so far, he’d spent all his evenings in Silas’s cabin, going over what he’d learned during Ceto’s absence.

  Still, if Ceto didn’t know better, he’d think Levrith was avoiding him. But why would Levrith be avoiding him? Then again, perhaps he was avoiding everyone. Even Rowena had pointed it out to him, telling him Levrith had barely spoken to her since coming back on the ship.

  “I think saying goodbye to his family was difficult,” Ceto said.

  “That must be it. I was concerned something had occurred between you two on the island.” He said it casually enough, but Ceto sensed a question beneath the comment.

  Ceto lifted his chin. “To be honest, Captain, something did happen between us.”

  Silas nodded, a twinkle in his steely grey eyes. “I see. I had wondered.” He gave a half-smile. The type of smile that once upon a time had made Ceto’s heart beat faster. “I’m glad for you both.”

  It was on the tip of his tongue to ask if he was glad because it meant Ceto wouldn’t try and kiss him again. But he swallowed down the words.

  Strange, he’d never realised how rarely he’d spoken his mind with Silas. He always had to filter what he said. Act professionally. Not like with Levrith. He could always say exactly what he was thinking. He could be his true, honest self with him. And he knew Levrith accepted him for it.

  He was beginning to wonder if he had ever truly loved Silas or if he had just mistaken gratitude and admiration for love. Because what he felt now for Levrith was so much stronger than what he had felt for Silas.

  “Thank you, Captain. Is there anything else you need tonight?” Ceto wanted to find and be with the man he loved.

  “No, that will be all.”

  He nodded and made his way up onto the deck, determined to find Levrith and talk to him.

  He went down into the hull. It smelled of damp, sweat, and musk. A man lay in one of the hammocks, playing his tin flute, whilst others slept. Several of the crew sat around a large chest used as a table. They each held cards in their hands. A lantern hung from the roof, providing just enough light for them to see the cards. The ship’s one-eyed cat, Misra, prowled around the edges of the room, probably in search of any rats on board.

  But no Levrith.

  He went back up on deck. The night crew went about their duties. Levrith couldn’t just disappear on the ship. Then he saw him near the prow, leaning against the rail, head bowed, shoulders slumped.

  Ceto’s heart ached for him. He hadn’t realised how hard it would be for Levrith to leave his family. He’d never been so downtrodden previously. Ceto berated himself. He should have sought out Levrith sooner. Made sure he was there for him.

  “Levrith,” he said, coming up behind him. Levrith glanced back at him before turning away and staring into the darkness beyond. Ceto forced himself to not feel slighted. Levrith was going through a lot right now. It wasn’t personal.

  “I’m sorry,” Ceto said. He came up beside him. “I know it’s been a rough few days for you.”

  “You’re sorry,” Levrith repeated, his voice low and toneless.

  Ceto nodded. “I’m sorry that I haven’t been there for you.”

  “You’ve been occupied.” He stretched the last word out.

  Silence followed.

  Ceto felt off-kilter. Like he was missing something important, but he didn’t know what. His mind scrambled, desperate to find a way to reconnect. To reach Levrith.

  “But”—he made his voice light, stepping closer—“maybe I can try and cheer you up.”

  He reached his hand out. He touched the warm skin of Levrith’s neck, sliding his hand downwards.

  Levrith stepped back, eyes wide. “Are you serious?” Levrith snarled.

  Ceto stumbled backwards as if struck.

  “You spend the evening holed up with the captain, locked away together, like you are every night, after spending all day following him around, and you think I’m just sitting here waiting for you? Do you think I’m that desperate?” He shook his head. “That I’m that pathetic?” His voice broke.

  “Levrith, I don’t—” Ceto tried to parse the words, tried to comprehend what Levrith had just said.

  “But I can see why you would think that. I’ve always just waited around for you before. Good old, reliable Levrith. Always just there.” He spat each word. “But I can’t. I can’t be that. Not anymore.”

  “Levrith, I don’t understand.” Ceto stepped towards him, reaching out to touch him, but Levrith dodged his hand.

  “I can’t do this. I thought it would be different, but I can’t.” He shook his head, stumbling away.

  Ceto grabbed for his arm. “Levrith, please.”

  He shook his arm off. “Don’t. Just stop. I can’t anymore.” Levrith’s eyes shone brightly in the moonlight, his face pained. “I can’t,” he whispered. “I’m done. I’m done with this. I’m done with you.” This time, when he strode off, Ceto didn’t try to stop him. Just watched him go.

  A couple of the crew on night duty stared at them but then quickly got back to their duties when they saw Ceto looking at them.

  What had just happened? Ceto wanted to follow Levrith. Demand answers. Demand Levrith explain. But all he could see was the pain etched into Levrith’s face.

  I’m done with you.

  He squeezed his eyes shut as pain shot through him. Why would Levrith say that?

  He turned and stared down at the choppy water. I’ll just give him space. Allow him time to rest. Tomorrow I can talk to him. We’ll work it all out then. But what if Levrith had meant it? What if he was done with Ceto? No. He shook his head. They’d talk. They’d work it out. Surely they could.

  He thought he’d felt wretched after being rejected by Silas, but this, this feeling that Levrith didn’t want him anymore, it was so much worse. He took a deep, shaky breath. He needed to go to bed and get some rest. Tomorrow would be better. Tomorrow Levrith wouldn’t look at him like he hated him.