Still reeling, he somehow got back to his quarters. He shut the door as if he could try and shut out the pain.

  I’m done with you.

  He dropped down on his bed.

  I’m done with you.

  How could it all fall apart so quickly? What had he done? Was it because he hadn’t been there enough for Levrith the past few days?

  Ceto dropped his head into his hands. He wanted to scream. For weeks, Levrith had looked after him. And now, when Levrith had needed him, he hadn’t been there. Instead, he had been too involved with Silas and his duties. So excited about being a part of the crew again that he’d ignored Levrith. Hurt him when he should have been showing him how much he loved him.

  But he would make it right. He had to. He couldn’t lose Levrith.

  I’m leaving.

  Levrith’s muscles strained as he pulled the line, hoisting the sail alongside several others in the crew. He’d barely slept, tossing and turning in his hammock, going over the conversation with Ceto in his head.

  The past few days, he’d been in turmoil, watching Ceto and the captain together. Always together. He grimaced. To see Ceto so clearly in love with Captain Tivera, not even trying to hide it from him. And then to approach Levrith as if Levrith would just be waiting around for him. Willing to take the scraps of his affection. He shook his head. He understood why Ceto thought that. In the past, he’d always waited around for him. But he couldn’t do that anymore.

  He needed Ceto to choose him. To want him. Love him.

  But he didn’t.

  And Levrith couldn’t wait around hoping anymore. He knew what he had to do. He had to leave.

  The sail now hoisted, he turned to Tomas. “I’m going to talk to the captain.”

  Tomas nodded, wiping at the sweat that had gathered on his brow. “After, you can start with swabbing the deck.” He chuckled. “I’ve missed having someone who actually likes doing it.”

  Unfortunately, the person Levrith had to talk to about leaving was also the person Ceto was in love with. He braced himself as he made his way to the helm of the ship. It was just after dawn, and the captain stood, silver eyes on the horizon. A well-fitted red-and-gold jacket showed off his broad shoulders and toned figure.

  Seroth and Seran, why does he have to look so regal and handsome?

  He let out a breath as he walked the distance to Captain Silas Tivera. “Captain.” Levrith nodded. “Can I have a word?”

  “Of course, Levrith.”

  “I’ve decided to leave the Naiad’s Revenge.” He rubbed at his elbow.

  The captain raised one eyebrow but didn’t speak. Instead, he just studied him. “May I ask why?” he finally asked.

  Because the naiad I love is in love with you.

  He looked down at the deck. “I need to be with my family. I hadn’t realised before we left how difficult it would be, being away from them.”

  “Ceto thought you might be missing your family.”

  Levrith’s throat clenched at Ceto’s name.

  “Ceto also said…” The captain trailed off.

  Levrith lifted his gaze. What did Ceto say?

  But the captain didn’t continue the sentence. He gave a half-smile. “You’ve been a valuable sailor on this ship. We’ll be sorry to see you go. If you change your mind in the future, you’ll always have a place on the Naiad’s Revenge.”

  Levrith nodded. It was hard not to like him. He’d always been a good captain. A fair and strong leader, but it was still easy enough when he was your rival.

  “We weren’t planning to head in the direction of Lilliana for a while. But we are arriving at Seagatt this afternoon. From there, I’m sure you can find a ship that can give you passage, or one that could get you to a closer port. Or you could remain with us until we head back towards—”

  Levrith gave a jerky shake of his head. He couldn’t wait that long. He needed to be off the ship now. Tonight.

  “Fair enough.”

  Levrith nodded and walked back towards the others. He spotted Ceto from the corner of his eye. This evening couldn’t come fast enough. He just had to focus on his duties until then.

  Chapter

  Twenty-Three

  “I thought you should know, Levrith is leaving the Naiad’s Revenge when we reach Seagatt,” Silas said, his voice calm. His hands rested on the helm as he steered the ship steadily onwards.

  But it felt to Ceto like the ship tipped beneath his feet, his entire world capsizing. “What?”

  “He said he wished to return home. That he missed his family.”

  Ceto’s vision went spotty. How could Levrith just leave? They’d fought the previous night, but would Levrith just leave without telling him? Apparently, the answer was yes. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out.

  “I take it you were unaware?” Silas asked.

  Ceto looked into his silver eyes. He turned his gaze to Levrith. He stood near the mainmast, head down as he swabbed the deck.

  “I had no idea.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  Ceto gave a sharp nod. Tomas came over to Levrith and said something to him. Levrith nodded in response.

  Ceto had been up all night, going over Levrith’s accusations, trying to make sense of it all, and trying to work out how to make it right. He figured they just needed to talk it out. He had believed it was fixable. Apparently, Levrith didn’t think the same.

  “Excuse me, Captain,” he said. Without waiting for a response, he strode in Levrith’s direction. His hands clenched.

  How could Levrith do this? After everything they’d been through? Ceto had been willing to try to work it out. Fight for what they had. How could Levrith give up on him, on them, so easily?

  Ceto crossed his arms, willing the man to look up and meet his gaze. But Levrith continued working, pushing the mop back and forth, not even acknowledging him.

  He took a deep breath, trying to calm the anger and hurt that pulsed hot through his veins. He tried to remember that he was first mate and that others from the crew were around and could see them.

  “Levrith, may I speak to you for a second?” His voice sounded surprisingly even to his ears.

  “I’m working at the moment,” Levrith answered, not lifting his gaze.

  Ceto’s jaw twitched. “It will only take a moment. I’m sure Tomas can spare you.” He said the last to Tomas.

  “No problem, Ceto. He can pick up swabbing the deck when he returns.”

  Levrith’s arms tensed, but he nodded. He leaned the mop against a barrel and stared blankly at Ceto. Turning on his feet, Ceto strode away from the others, towards the railing. The crew could still see them, but it was less likely they’d be overheard.

  Levrith walked slowly towards him. Levrith placed his hands on the rails and stared out at the grey sea.

  “You were just going to leave? Just like that?” Ceto bit out. “Were you even going to say goodbye?”

  “Captain Tivera told you,” Levrith said, tone flat.

  “Of course he did.”

  “I suppose he tells you lots of things.”

  “What? What are you even talking about?” Ceto shook his head. “I don’t understand what’s happened. Ever since we arrived on the ship, you’ve been a different person. Distant. Avoiding me. And now you’re leaving! I don’t understand what’s wrong with you!”

  Levrith’s hand tightened on the rail, but otherwise his face remained blank. “I’m sorry I don’t meet your high standards.”

  Ceto had a sudden desire to shake Levrith. To get some response. Some emotion out of him. He couldn’t stand this blank-faced Levrith. He wanted Levrith to talk to him, not stare at the ocean.

  “Now can I get back to work?” Levrith asked.

  Ceto wanted to say no. Wanted to demand Levrith stay here and talk to him. Properly. But what could he say if Levrith wouldn’t talk to him?

  Despite Ceto not answering, Levrith turned and walked away. He picked up the mop, dunked it into a bucket of water, and went back to swabbing the deck.

  Was that it? Were they just over? Like that.

  He wanted to jump into the sea. To scream or cry in the water. To be lost in the waves. Swim away and never return. But he was first mate of the Naiad’s Revenge. He needed to keep composure. He stormed off in the direction of his quarters. At least he could lose his composure there.

  “We’ll be sorry to see you go,” Tomas said.

  By the time they had docked at Seagatt, news had spread that Levrith was leaving. His crewmates approached him to say goodbye and wish him well.

  Levrith mumbled some sort of response. He didn’t know how much longer he could keep this up. He needed to be off this ship. He’d take a room at an inn until he could find passage back to Lilliana. Once there, he’d lie in bed for weeks, until his mother dragged him out.

  What would he tell his mum? His family? He shook his head. He couldn’t think about that now.

  Levrith could feel Ceto’s eyes burning into the back of his head. But he couldn’t deal with that anymore. He needed to go home. Be alone.

  “Levrith.”

  He turned towards Rowena.

  “I’ll buy you a drink,” she said.

  He wanted to refuse, but how could he do that to a friend?

  They walked across the gangplank onto the dock, their boots echoing against the wood. He tried to keep his eyes forward. To not look back.

  But what if this was the last chance he ever had to see Ceto? He glanced back. And of course, there he was, gaze fixed on Levrith. The gaze burned him. He turned away, squeezed his eyes shut, and took a breath before continuing down the dock.

  Was he making the right decision? Of course he was. He couldn’t stay. Not when it was so clear that Ceto still loved the captain. He couldn’t wait around for that to change, wait for Ceto to want him over the captain.

  “You all right?” Rowena asked.

  He nodded. They walked down the dock towards the Eagle Alehouse in silence.

  I guess that’s it, then. He’s gone. Ceto still couldn’t believe how fast they had fallen apart.

  He stayed on the deck of the ship, watching until Levrith disappeared into the Eagle Alehouse. It felt like a part of his body was being wrenched from him.

  “Ceto.” Aneya stood behind him. “I’m going to swim along the coastline. See if I can find some oysters.”

  “You don’t want to go into town?”

  “Human towns aren’t really to my taste.”

  “Mine either.” Then he thought of Levrith’s village. He’d been at home there.

  As if reading his thoughts, Aneya said, “I liked that little island village. Humans were nice there. Welcoming.”

  “They were. Can I join you?” He needed to do something. He couldn’t just stand still, mourning Levrith.

  Aneya looked momentarily surprised. Ceto didn’t usually join in this sort of fishing endeavour. “Of course.”

  At the railing, they discarded their clothing, dropping it on the deck. They each picked up a mesh bag, slung it over their shoulder, and grabbed a dagger, which they would use to pry the oysters from the rocks.

  Ceto jumped overboard, landing with a splash. For several seconds, he swam towards the rocky outcrop, but it wasn’t enough. He needed to move. Turning, he swam away from the ship and the outcrop. The image of Levrith glancing back at him, then looking away seared into his mind.

  Would he ever see Levrith again? He kicked his legs, pushing forward through the water. He needed to keep going, as if he could outswim the agony of losing Levrith.

  He kept swimming, kept pushing until his body ached, until he was out of breath. He swam up to the surface and took a deep breath, staring up at the cloud-filled grey sky. How had everything gone so wrong between him and Levrith? He still didn’t understand.

  He floated in the water on his back. No desire to swim anywhere.

  A splash announced Aneya surfacing beside him. He grimaced.

  “Sorry,” he said, turning towards Aneya. “I shouldn’t have swum off. Especially since I asked to join you.”

  “I think you needed that.” Aneya gave him a wry smile. He tilted his head. His curly green hair floated in the water around his shoulders. “Want to tell me what’s going on?”

  Ceto looked away.

  “It’s about Levrith, isn’t it?”

  “How did you know?”

  “Since you returned, it’s pretty clear that something is going on between you two.”

  Ceto frowned. He hadn’t meant to be so obvious.

  “I don’t know what happened. Everything was going well when we were on the island. Then we came back to the ship. Then it just…” He shrugged. “Everything changed. He avoided me. He was sullen and angry.” He shook his head. It hurt to think of their fight. I’m done with you. “I don’t know what happened.”

  “I haven’t spoken to Levrith,” Aneya said. “But it looks to me like maybe he is jealous?”

  “Why would he be jealous?”

  Aneya hesitated. “You love Silas. Levrith loves you. I can’t imagine it’s been easy for him all this time.”

  Ceto froze. He felt horrible that his affections for Silas had been obvious, but what was this about Levrith loving him? “What are you talking about? What do you mean, he loves me?”

  “You didn’t know?”

  “We’ve been friends for years.”

  “Friends. And he’s been in love with you. I saw it as soon as I joined the ship, and from what from what others have said, it’s been going on for years.”

  Ceto shook his head in shock. “If that’s true, why hasn’t he said anything?”

  “You’ve been so clearly in love with Silas for so long. I’m sure he assumed he didn’t have a chance.”

  “But I don’t love the captain. Not anymore. I love Levrith.”

  “Does he know that?”

  “He never asked! We never talked about it!”

  “Maybe it’s time you did.” He gave Ceto a kind smile. “Now I’m going to search for oysters. Perhaps you should try to find Levrith. Speak to him.”

  Ceto nodded. Aneya swam off, but instead of going back to the ship, Ceto swam in the other direction, not sure where he was going, questions circling through his mind. Had Levrith really loved him for years? How was that possible? They’d been friends. Good friends. The best of friends. Had Ceto been so oblivious? Why wouldn’t Levrith tell him?

  But he knew why. For years, he’d thought he loved Silas, and in the past, if Levrith had told him that he loved him, Ceto would have rejected him.

  But not now. Now it was different. He loved Levrith. Not Silas. And now he needed to find Levrith and tell him.

  Chapter

  Twenty-Four

  “I guess I can’t convince you to stay,” Rowena said.

  Levrith shook his head before taking another deep gulp of ale.

  Rowena banged her hand on the table. “I know something happened. Back on your island, between you and Ceto.” She pointed a finger accusingly at him. “Don’t pretend it didn’t.”

  He grimaced. “Fine. Something happened. But it’s over now.”

  “You don’t want to tell me about it?”

  He shook his head. He really didn’t want to sit here recounting his story of heartbreak. He’d been going over it in his head for the past few days. He just wanted it to be over. Done.

  “You sure it can’t be fixed?”

  “I’m sure.” He stared at the amber ale in front of him. A few remnants of foam floated on the surface.

  “Well, all right.” She took another gulp. “But I’m still pissed you’re leaving.”

  “You could always visit.”

  She wiped her hand across her mouth. She smiled, revealing her gold tooth. “Just try to keep me away. It’s a gorgeous island, with great food, rum, and you. I’ll visit.” She leaned towards him. “How do your people feel about women and women together?”

  “It’s fine.” He shrugged. “But they’re less fine with casual sex. Or it’s fine, as long as it’s behind closed doors. But if you start making your way through the female inhabitants of Lilliana, there’ll be some disapproval.”

  She chuckled. “I’ll keep that in mind.” She drank deeply, then banged the empty tankard on the table. She clasped his arm. “I’m going to miss you, Levrith.”

  “I’ll miss you too.” He gave her a smile. “But I just can’t stay.”

  She nodded. Then her gaze slid past him to the door. She squeezed his arm. “You might not like this.”

  He turned. Ceto stood in the doorway. Water dampened his shirt and breeches, the fabric clinging to his body as if he’d pulled his clothes on whilst still wet. His plaited hair was a soggy mess. His icy-blue eyes zeroed in on Levrith.

  “He looks determined,” Rowena murmured. “He always tries to avoid these port towns. He must really have a reason to be here.” She looked at Levrith’s face, and whatever she saw clearly concerned her. “I’ll go speak to him.”

  She stood and walked towards Ceto. She spoke, but Ceto kept his eyes focused on Levrith. Ceto said something. Rowena’s eyes widened. She looked between the two. Then she turned and left, the door banging shut behind her. Levrith couldn’t help but feel a little betrayed.

  Ceto strode towards him. He dropped into the seat Rowena had just vacated and dragged the chair closer to Levrith. Ceto laid his hands flat on his own knees, his pale-blue eyes unblinking.

  “I don’t have anything else to say to you,” Levrith said, voice hoarse.

  “That’s fine. I have something I want to say to you. And you’re going to sit there and listen, not speaking a word until I’ve finished. Then you can tell me to leave, and I’ll never bother you again. But I need you to listen to the end. Promise?”

  Levrith pursed his lips. “I don’t know what you could have to say to me.”

  “If you don’t listen, I will follow you.”

  “What?”

  “I will swim behind the next ship you get on. And if you get on another ship, I’ll be right behind that one, swimming as far as it sails. I will follow you all the way back to your island. And if you still won’t listen to me, then I’ll tell your mother, and she’ll make you listen.”