She was certain it was Joss, but when she pulled back the door, she discovered someone else altogether.

  Patience Reed.

  “I suspect we need to talk,” the older woman said through the screen.

  Marnie nodded and opened the door and invited her inside. She took her coat and hung it up on the hall stand and then they made their way into the living room. There was a lot of silence in those first, tense few minutes. A lot of long stares, and questions burning on the edge of her tongue. She wanted to know so many things, but she didn’t want to push the other woman, either. It would have taken a lot of courage for Patience to come to her door and Marnie didn’t want to blow it.

  Patience sat on the sofa, her hands in her lap, regarding her intensely. “You know, you look a lot like my sister. She passed away when she was young,” she said and sighed.

  Marnie’s throat closed over. “So, you know... I mean, you accept that I’m your...you know.”

  “My granddaughter?” She nodded. “Yes, of course.”

  Marnie exhaled sharply, afraid to think and to want too much from the exchange. “I didn’t know you had a sister.”

  Patience nodded. “What do you know?”

  She got straight to the point. “I know you gave my mother up for adoption.”

  “That’s correct, I did. I gave up my firstborn,” Patience said, her blue eyes glistening a little. “I was seventeen, and I met a boy who was my first love. But when I discovered I was expecting, his parents shuffled him off to relatives in Georgia and I never saw him again. My own parents never gave me the option of keeping her, you understand. I was sent away to a home for unwed mothers for many months before she came. And then, after she was born, she was put up for adoption and I went home.”

  Patience said it so matter-of-factly, it was as though she’d rehearsed the words in her mind a thousand times but had never found peace in them. Marnie saw the regret in her grandmother’s expression and wanted to offer solace, or comfort, or whatever she needed, because she was clearly in pain. But...she had to make sure her mother was heard, first and foremost.

  “My mother’s adoption was closed, so it took a lot of effort to finally find you. Once her adoptive parents were both deceased, she got a lawyer and the case was opened. Then she did eventually have your name, but it wasn’t long before she got sick. And she passed away nine months ago.”

  “I’m sorry,” Patience said, her eyes glistening even more. “More than you could know.”

  Marnie sucked in some air. “I know she wanted to meet you, to ask you what you felt that day, and if you really wanted to keep her. But she died before she had the chance.”

  Patience winced and nodded. “I wanted to keep her with all my heart,” she said, the tears now filling her eyes. “But back then, it wasn’t like it is today. Of course, I wish I’d had the courage to stand up to my parents and tell them that I wanted to keep my baby. But it wasn’t an option,” she said quietly. “A few years later I got married and had my second daughter. But I never forgot the baby I was forced to give up. And I’ve thought about her every day of my life.”

  “She thought about you, too.”

  “Would you tell me what she was like?”

  Marnie thought about—considered—whitewashing it and pretending that her mother was happy and fulfilled and lived a life of joy. But that wasn’t the case. And enough lies had been told already. So, she quietly and concisely told Patience Reed about the troubled woman her mother had become. She didn’t gloss over the hospital stays, the medications, the bouts of mania, the marriage that had been doomed from the start. She didn’t make light of the really bad days, when her mom couldn’t get out of bed, or go to work, or remember to cook dinner, or do laundry. When she was done, when she was all out of explanations and her chest was hurting so much from the raw emotion being spilled with each word, she let the tears roll down her cheeks.

  “But I loved her,” Marnie assured the older woman. “Even on the days when it was so very hard.”

  “I wish I could have been there for you,” Patience said and came across the room to sit beside her. “I wish, with all my heart, that I could have helped you.”

  And then, like she imagined in her dreams, her grandmother took her into her arms and held her, rocking her gently, somehow making up for all of the years and the tears that she’d never seen.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you who I was when we first met,” she said and shuddered. “But coming here—”

  “Took courage,” Patience said. “And don’t ever apologize, Marnie. You have nothing to be sorry for.”

  She swallowed hard and gripped her grandmother’s hand. “But I am sorry if I’ve made things difficult for you and your family. I mean, with Abby and everyone else.”

  “Abby is a kind and gentle soul and she’ll accept this, and you, without hesitation.”

  Marnie wasn’t so sure. “She was annoyed the other day.”

  “She was in shock.” Patience sighed. “So was I when she arrived on my doorstep Friday afternoon and asked me why you would claim to be my granddaughter.”

  “And you were forced to tell her about the baby you gave up?” Marnie said, feeling so guilty her heart ached.

  Patience tutted. “It was about time it came out, anyway. I’m not ashamed of having had your mother. I never was. It was my own parents who had the shame. And they’re now long gone, and they can’t make me feel guilty anymore. So, let’s not have regrets, okay? Let’s work on having a future. I love being a grandmother to Abby and a great-grandmother to T.J., and I know I’m going to love being your grandmother, too...if that’s what you want.”

  It was, so much. Marnie nodded. “It is.”

  “So, why don’t you pack a bag and come and stay with me for a few days, and we can get to know each other,” Patience suggested. “Of course, I know you have to work, but the school is not too far from my house. Unless you think it’s too soon?”

  Marnie shook her head. “No, I’d like that.”

  It was settled, and an hour later, Marnie was packed and ready to spend a couple of days with her grandmother. When she arrived at Patience’s home, she was unsurprised to find it was a neat three-bedroom bungalow.

  “This was Abby’s room,” she said as they walked down the hall. “Now T.J. uses it when he stays over. Your room is the next one.”

  Marnie felt a little thrilled. She’d always wanted a place and a room that could be her own with grandparents. Once she was settled, she joined Patience in the kitchen and they sat with coffee and home-baked cookies and talked about everything from her mother, to Cedar River, to local places of interest, and then inevitably, the one subject Marnie wanted to avoid like the plague.

  “Well, I heard that you and Joss Culhane are something of an item?”

  “Past tense,” Marnie said and bit into a cookie. “Very much over.”

  “You broke things off?”

  “He did,” she replied. “When he discovered I hadn’t told him the truth about why I was in town. Actually, it fizzled out as quickly as it began.”

  Patience’s eyes widened. “But you’re in love with him, though?”

  “Dreadfully,” she admitted and sighed. “Worse luck.”

  “I’ve always liked Joss.” Patience smiled. “He’s such a good father to those girls and God knows being a single parent isn’t easy. At one point I’d almost hoped he would catch Abby’s eye. But she only ever had eyes for Jake. You, on the other hand...” Patience teased and grinned. “Perhaps you shouldn’t give up on love so easily.”

  She shrugged. “I’m not very successful in the romance department.”

  “Men find you a little intimidating, I suppose—” her words made Marnie straighten in her seat “—you being so smart and successful. A lot of men can’t handle that kind of power imbalance in a relationship. Joss is a successful man in his own right, though... Perhaps that’s why he was so drawn to you.”

  Marnie had no idea why he was drawn to her, or anything else. Particularly since he’d dumped her with such little effort. His feelings obviously weren’t anywhere near as deep as hers. Hadn’t he admitted to being a bed hopper? She should have had more sense than to add herself to his list of conquests.

  “I don’t think I’ll ever know,” she said.

  “These things have a way of working out,” Patience remarked.

  “Or not,” she said. “Besides, the only relationship that I want to concentrate on right now is yours and mine.”

  Patience smiled. “I’m proud to call you my granddaughter, Marnie. I hope I can live up to your expectations.”

  “You already have,” she said, emotion clogging her throat.

  But she wasn’t being as honest as she could have. Because she missed Joss. She missed the girls. She missed him so much it hurt to breathe. She’d only got to love him for a matter of weeks...but they had been the best weeks of her life.

  Now she had to get back to the real world, post-Joss, and she wondered if she would ever feel truly whole again.

  Chapter Twelve

  “I don’t see why we have to stop being friends with Marnie,” Sissy said and glared at him, arms crossed, as they drove to the ranch on Thursday afternoon. “I mean, we didn’t break up with her or anything.”

  They had been having the same discussion for close to a week, but Joss wasn’t backing down. He had his reasons and they were valid. He’d spent the better part of the week holed up at home or at work, ignoring everything and everyone other than the girls and the workshop. He knew Marnie wasn’t at the house, knew she was staying with her grandmother, because Ellie had found out via Abby and she’d then relayed the information to his eldest daughter. Who’d had no hesitation in telling him because she’d made it clear she thought he was a complete idiot for ending the relationship.

  Well, he wasn’t backing down. She’d screwed up, not him. She’d lied and manipulated and made him believe they were something they weren’t. He was the one who looked foolish.

  “Because I said so,” he replied. “And that’s the end of it.”

  “I can’t wait until I’m eighteen and I can do whatever I want,” Sissy said heatedly. “And be friends with whoever I want.”

  “Yeah, at eighteen you can make your own decisions. Until then, I get to decide what’s best for you and your sister.”

  And by then, he thought, Marnie Jackson would be a distant memory for them all.

  “You’re impossible,” she grumbled under her breath.

  By the time they got to the ranch, his daughter’s temper hadn’t abated. He spotted Jake’s truck and Hank’s police vehicle and figured he should be glad for the company—but he wasn’t. He really didn’t feel like being sociable. Sissy got out of the car and stormed up to the house and headed directly for the living room, where she promptly ignored everyone and focused on her cell phone. Clare stayed by his side as Joss greeted Mitch in the hallway and rolled his eyes.

  “Teenagers,” he said on a long breath. “They’re so delightful.”

  Mitch laughed. “Yeah, remember Ellie when she was that age? Oh, they were some interesting times.”

  “Thankfully, Clare doesn’t hate me yet,” he said and noticed his youngest daughter had walked on ahead and was now in the living room. “Or maybe she does. So, what’s Mrs. B cooking tonight?”

  Mitch groaned. “Are you always thinking about your stomach?”

  It was better than thinking about anything else, he thought derisively, refusing to remember one single thing about how good it felt to make love to Marnie. He was over it. Done. He had no feelings for her whatsoever. “Yep.”

  “Ah—Jake and Abby are here,” Mitch said and then hesitated. “So is Marnie.”

  Joss stilled. “What?”

  His brother nodded. “She’s with them. Patience is here, too.”

  His gut churned. “Quite the family gathering. I think I’ll go.”

  “Don’t you dare,” Mitch warned in his best big-brother voice. “Marnie is Abby’s cousin—that makes her family. So, whatever is or isn’t going on between the two of you, work it out, or get over it.”

  He wanted to tell his brother to go to hell—but he couldn’t and wouldn’t. Mitch was the glue that held the family together and Joss respected his brother’s patriarchal role. “Okay, point taken. I’ll be on my best behavior.”

  When he entered the kitchen he spotted her immediately, seated next to Abby. It was quite uncanny how alike they were, and he felt stupid for not taking the time to really notice before. Perhaps he would have made the connection and not been so blindsided when he’d found out the truth. She looked up, clearly expecting him, and he managed a tight smile. She did the same and the churning in his gut increased. He wished he smoked or something—so he’d have something to do with his hands.

  Mrs. B announced that dinner was nearly ready and suggested everyone take a seat. By now the girls were also in the kitchen and they quickly sidled up beside Marnie and took the seats next to her. He didn’t want to think about how that made him feel. Knowing they liked her company and also knowing they’d broken up, he experienced a stupid twinge of betrayal—as though his kids were divided in their loyalty. For years it had only been the three of them, along with his extended family. He was the one who’d brought Marnie into their circle. He’d changed the dynamic. And they clearly needed whatever it was she gave them. Time, he figured. And attention. And kindness and everything he’d always hoped another woman might enrich their lives with.

  He was across from her, nowhere near touching distance, but he felt the heat radiating from her as though she were a furnace. He knew it was simply attraction—just lust and desire. But it was strong and had a life force all its own. And stupidly, he resented her for it. It made him feel small and mean. It made him question everything he’d always believed about himself. And then he resented her for that, too. He heard her laugh and the sound polarized him. She looked so comfortable sitting next to her cousin and his daughters—as though she were firmly entrenched into the family.

  “Not hungry?”

  He barely heard Hank’s words. His twin was sitting to his right, grinning broadly. “What?”

  “You are so screwed up.”

  He scowled. “Go to hell.”

  “Wanna talk about it?” his brother asked. “I’m a good listener.”

  “I’ve already had enough brotherly advice from Mitch. I don’t need any more.”

  “Well, I’ll be damned,” Hank chuckled. “You’re in love with her.”

  “No, I’m not,” he denied and felt the lie on his lips.

  There was a lot of laughter coming from the other end of the table. He saw there was some activity with Marnie’s cell phone and figured there was some kind of video chat going on. The famous cousin, he figured, feeling about as excluded as he ever had from anything. Abby and Ellie and his daughters were all in on the call, and there was more laughter and even some out-of-tune singing.

  Of course, he was happy his daughters were having fun. He wasn’t that somber or petty. He just wasn’t sure he wanted them having fun with Marnie, since he’d made it clear he didn’t want her anywhere near them.

  After dinner, everyone headed for the living room, except for Joss, who stayed and helped Mrs. B clean up. It was something he’d always done. Except this time, Marnie hung back, too, saying very little as she grabbed a tea towel and began drying glassware too good to go into the dishwasher. When they were done, Mrs. B bade them good-night and disappeared through the back door to head for her cabin behind the main house.

  And they were alone.

  “I see you and Abby have made amends?” he said.

  She nodded. “Patience helped soothe things over.”

  “Things are good with your grandmother, I take it?”

  “Great. She’s a wonderful person and I feel very fortunate to have her in my life now.”

  “Looks like everything has worked out for you, then,” he said and tossed the tea towel onto the counter.

  She swallowed hard. “Are you still angry with me?”

  “What do you think?”

  “I think we should talk more,” she replied and sighed. “Look, I’m sorry, okay? I made a mess of things and I should have told you the truth from day one...but honestly, I was a little overwhelmed with being here and starting a new job and dealing with the possibility of meeting my grandmother for the first time. And I know that sounds like an excuse,” she said, waving a hand, “but it’s all I’ve got.”

  “It’s not enough,” he said, staying on the other side of the counter, because all he really wanted to do was take her in his arms and kiss her like crazy. “I’m just a simple guy who tries to lead a decent life raising my kids and running my business. And all I know is I would never use anyone to get to the end goal.”

  “It might have looked that way, but it wasn’t deliberate.”

  “Wasn’t it?” he shot back. “Are you really going to try and justify it by saying you didn’t know, or didn’t realize, or didn’t think it would matter?” Joss shook his head in disbelief. “Damn it, I let you into my life. I let you into my kids’ life. I haven’t done that with anyone since Lara died. That’s the kicker here, Marnie...my daughters care about you, I see the way they are with you and what they’re longing for, hoping for, and knowing you were pretending the whole time is—”

  “I care about them, too,” she implored, cutting him off. “And I swear that none of it was pretend. Not being with the girls. Not being with you. It was the most real time of my life.” She stood on the other side of the counter, breathing hard. “Joss...I’m in love with you.”