“You are?”

  “You’ve got more courage than I do. Telling the truth, especially when people don’t want to hear it, takes a lot.”

  That evening, I was about to gather my jacket and purse to walk from our main offices across the street to the winery when there was a knock on my office door.

  “Come in!” I called, curious as to who it would be. Once our official office hours ended, the building tended to be fairly quiet unless someone worked late.

  My mother peered inside the door, her gaze hesitant when she saw me. “Is it okay if I come in?”

  “Of course.” My fingers curled tightly around my purse, and I held it in front of me, almost like a shield.

  My mother closed the door behind her with a decisive click. She studied me for a moment. “I owe you an apology,” she finally said.

  “You do?”

  “I do. I believe you about Jake. I wasn’t supportive of you when you told me, and I’m sorry.”

  I blinked quickly. “Did you talk to Wyatt?”

  She shook her head sharply. “I didn’t need to talk to Wyatt to choose to believe you. I have a lot of guilt about how things went after your father died. I don’t know how to fix everything. I knew Jake had a temper. It isn’t surprising that he hit you. I hope that’s all it was.”

  The following pause was long. I knew she was asking me to fill this gap in information. Jake had also been sexually abused by our grandfather, a detail none of us had known until years after his death.

  “No. Nothing like that ever happened, Mom. Jake was a bully to me. He wasn’t always, and I loved him too. I promise. Loving him, in a way, kind of made it worse. I’m not sure why I decided to say something after all this time. I think I was just tired of keeping it a secret.”

  She took a few steps closer and reached out, placing a hand on my shoulder. Her touch was warm and reassuring. “I’m sorry it happened. I’m sorry I didn’t protect you.” She blinked, her eyes shining with tears. “I’m sorry I didn’t protect all of you.”

  “Grandfather was as bad to you as he was to the rest of us,” I pointed out. I remembered him yelling at her too.

  Her mouth twisted to the side as bitterness flashed in her gaze. “He yelled at me, but he never laid a hand on me. I feel like I failed all of you.”

  “It’s okay, Mom.”

  She looked into my eyes as her hand fell away from my shoulder. “I hope it is. I’m still going to miss Jake. I’m sad about what happened to him. I’m sad about what happened to you, and I’m sad for all of us.”

  We ended up walking together over to locals’ night, and after a difficult few days, I felt a little lighter.

  I was also feeling tender and emotionally raw. When Jack asked, “Can I stop by tonight?” I shook my head.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Jack

  As I watched McKenna slip out the side door, I wanted to follow her. I wanted to ask her why I couldn’t stop by tonight.

  The conversation carried on around me. Hannah’s voice snapped through my distraction. “Is that McKenna?” My niece stood beside my brother, who was busy talking with Rhys.

  “Haven’t you met McKenna?” I asked.

  I knew Hannah had met her because we’d run into McKenna one morning at the coffee shop. She nodded. “She’s the one you like.”

  My niece said this as if she was reciting a fact, like the color of the sky being blue.

  I opened my mouth to refute that point but stopped when I realized I was about to debate this with my seventeen-year-old niece. Hannah’s smile was sly. “McKenna’s a very nice person. Of course I like her,” I replied blandly.

  “Nice like me,” Griffin quipped when he appeared by my shoulder.

  Griffin was joining my hotshot crew, so we’d started to get to know each other.

  I chuckled. “Yeah, nice like you.”

  “Who’s nice? I don’t even know who you’re talking about.”

  I almost groaned. Fuck my life. I did not need my niece deciding to stir the pot and give away anything about my feelings for McKenna. She had already asked me more than once where I spent the night when I wasn’t at the house.

  “Your whole family is nice,” Hannah said, smoothly rescuing me from a potentially awkward moment. “You’re the firefighter, right?”

  “Sure am,” Griffin replied. “Like your uncle here.” He cuffed me lightly on the shoulder.

  “Why don’t you work for your family’s corporation?” she asked.

  Griffin pondered that before shrugging. “I probably will someday. I can’t be a hotshot firefighter forever.”

  When Hannah looked my way again, her brow was furrowed with worry. My heart twisted a little inside. She was worried about her dad, and she’d already lost her mom. I didn’t need her to worry about me.

  “Don’t you even worry about me,” I said quickly.

  “I’m allowed to worry about you,” she said pointedly.

  Griffin glanced back and forth between us. “I’ll make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid when we’re out in the field this summer.”

  A little while later, when I began walking home, I contemplated that Hannah had experienced more than enough loss in her life. She needed to know I would be there, no matter what.

  I told myself I was walking because I wanted the fresh air and wasn’t going to check in with McKenna. I kept hoping I would run into her anyway. Although, I knew logically she had to already be home now.

  When I passed the harbor and looked toward the docks to see her standing there, my feet aimed straight for her.

  As I approached, I called her name. I saw her physically jolt a little before she turned.

  “Hey,” I said quickly.

  “Hi.” Her smile was polite, and her eyes guarded.

  “Is everything okay?” I asked. I didn’t quite know how to read her expression, but she looked out of sorts.

  When a gust of air blew off the water, and she curled her shoulders forward, I wanted to hold her. I wanted to keep her warm and protect her.

  She didn’t answer my question. “I think maybe we should just be friends, just friends,” she said, emphasizing just.

  For a moment, I wanted to argue about it, tell her we didn’t need to do that and tell her I loved her.

  Instead, I thought about Derek. I thought about the list of appointments pinned to our refrigerator. I thought about Hannah, whose life had been shaken and stirred, and I told myself it was all for the best.

  “Okay. So I’ll see you around then?”

  McKenna blinked and glanced away. When she looked back up at me, it was as if she had closed the shades on her expressive eyes.

  “Sure.”

  We stood there for a long moment before I forced myself to walk away. “Have a good night.”

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  McKenna

  My oldest brother Rhys sat across from me at his desk. Rhys was kind of intense, and he looked serious at the moment. He steepled his fingers under his chin before dipping his head in acknowledgment. “Wyatt told me.”

  “Huh?”

  He leaned back in his chair, letting his hands fall. “He said he told you he was going to tell me.” My brother looked concerned, worried even.

  “He did. Sorry, I’m just catching up.”

  “I’m sorry about what happened.”

  “Not your fault,” I said quickly, wanting to smooth it over and make everything okay.

  The urge to smooth problems away, to make tension disappear was something that came with the territory of experiencing any kind of abuse.

  “I know it’s not my fault,” Rhys replied. “Maybe I never saw Jake hit you, but I knew he had a temper. He never laid a hand on me. I hope it’s okay that I asked Adam, Blake, and Kenan if he ever hit them.”

  “Not Griffin?” I asked.

  “Wyatt said Griffin already told him Jake never hit him.”

  “Oh.”

  “I wish you had told me sooner.”

  I blinked, my eyes stinging. “Maybe I should’ve said something sooner, but I didn’t know how to tell anyone.”

  “Does it bother you that Haven and I named little Jake after him?”

  I shook my head quickly. “No!” Even though I had bad memories of Jake, they weren’t attached to his name. It was more the secret of it. “I guess I just got tired of keeping it hidden from everybody.”

  “Do you want to talk about it?” Rhys pressed.

  I could tell he was concerned and wanted to fix this somehow. It was really sweet for him to try to help, to be there.

  “I appreciate that. I still see my therapist sometimes.”

  “I just want you to know if you want to talk about it, I’m here for you,” Rhys insisted.

  “I love that that’s important to you. But really—” I swallowed. “I just didn’t want to keep it a secret anymore. There’s a lot of good in our family too.”

  Rhys held my gaze. “Maybe we should do family therapy.”

  I burst out laughing. “That would be a shit show. There are seven of us and Mom. Honestly, I don’t think we need that. We all love each other. Maybe all we need to do is cut it out with keeping secrets.”

  Rhys pressed his lips together as he nodded slowly. “Maybe.”

  There was a knock on Rhys’s office door. “Yes?” Rhys called.

  Kenan came in, glancing at us. “Group hug?” he asked, reading the room quickly.

  We laughed together. I didn’t need to process this with my siblings, but having the truth out there was a relief. As much as I wanted to undo what happened, to erase the fact that Jake had bullied me and been physically abusive at times, I couldn’t. At least I didn’t have to keep it secret anymore.

  After we did, in fact, have a group hug, Kenan kept his arm around my shoulders. He ruffled my hair with one hand, the way he did when I was a little girl. “You good?”

  I lifted my chin as I nodded. None of this was perfect, and it was a little messy, but I wasn’t alone.

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  McKenna

  That afternoon, I walked to the harbor. Even though I’d grown up in Alaska, I still marveled at the sense of time stretching rapidly as the days got longer.

  My heart twisted a little in my chest when I thought of Jack. I thought of him far too much. I was trying really hard not to miss him. I’d been busy giving myself plenty of pep talks about how I had never intended to fall in love, and this was all for the best.

  As I walked down the street, I impulsively decided to stop by Spill the Beans Café. As bad luck would have it, Cory and Heather were in there. As much as I wanted to turn around and walk out, I didn’t. I reminded myself that he was just a jerk who tried to capitalize on other people’s pain. It stung to feel used like that.

  “Hey,” a voice said by my elbow.

  I glanced over to see Tessa. “Hey! How is your training going?” I was relieved to have someone to talk to.

  She smiled brightly. “I love it.”

  Tessa had taken a new job as a local weather reporter. “That’s awesome!”

  She waggled her brows. “It actually is! I feel so silly to be so excited.”

  “Don’t. You have a job you love. You’ve been scrambling to figure things out since the divorce, and this will make it work.”

  “I just hope it goes well.”

  Tessa’s formerly sunny and light personality had dimmed far too much during her marriage. I still wanted to kick her ex’s ass when I saw him around town, but I focused on her positive changes instead.

  “You’re going to be amazing! I know this for a fact.”

  “You’re just saying that because you’re my friend,” she said as we got to the front of the line.

  It was crowded here this afternoon, and Hazel and Phyllis worked rapidly to make orders. A few minutes later, we sat down with our coffees.

  “I’m really glad things are turning around for you,” I commented.

  “Since I finally walked away from the biggest mistake of my life?” Tessa mused, her tone resigned.

  “Tessa, we all fuck up.” I thumbed in the direction of Cory.

  Tessa didn’t even spare him a glance. “Oh, he’s just an ass. That podcast was a dick move. And you dated him in high school, like forever ago. Who cares? We all get a pass on our poor judgment in dating when we’re young.”

  “You should listen to your own advice,” I countered with a warm smile.

  She shrugged. “I don’t want to dwell on me. Speaking of…” She nudged her head toward Cory. He and Heather broke up, and he’s moving out of town.”

  If I’d been wondering if Cory could still get to me, I knew then he couldn’t. My internal reaction was nothing, so I shrugged. “Moving is a pain in the ass,” I offered.

  Tessa’s lips quirked. “Seriously. Anyway, how are you and Jack?”

  “We’re not.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “We were never really a couple. I don’t ever want to have a family, and being single is better. Right?”

  Tessa stared at me for a long moment. “Maybe. I really thought he liked you. Like not sort of, but really.”

  I shrugged. “But it doesn’t really matter. I don’t want to get serious with anyone, so it’s for the best.”

  The bell chimed on the door, and out of reflex, I glanced over. My heart gave a resounding kick against my ribs when Jack came walking in with Derek and Hannah.

  When he happened to glance my way and our eyes met from across the café, my hormones cheered, and heat spun in fiery pinwheels through me. Tessa cleared her throat, and I dragged my eyes away. My cheeks were burning up.

  “Good thing it’s over,” she said dryly.

  “Oh my God,” I muttered before taking a gulp of coffee.

  Her grin was sly.

  Hannah walked across the café. For a minute, I thought she was coming over to us, but she stopped at the empty table right beside us. When she glanced toward us, she smiled. “Oh, hi, McKenna.”

  “Hi, Hannah. This is Tessa.” I quickly introduced them.

  Hannah thought that Tessa training to be a weather person was “the freaking most awesome thing ever” and asked Tessa tons of questions about it.

  I steeled myself to deal with Jack when he and his brother approached the table beside us. Derek greeted us and reported he’d won a small cash prize from the salmon derby. “I’ll be buying random coffees for people with it,” he announced with a grin.

  Conversation rumbled around us, and Jack’s look was inscrutable when he met my gaze.

  It doesn’t matter, I reminded myself. You got what you wanted. Just friends with benefits. You knew it wasn’t going to be more.

  But what if it could?

  I was relieved to have Tessa there. She kept the conversation rolling, with her, Derek, and Hannah doing most of the talking. I practically guzzled my coffee and got up to leave, not paying much attention to the conversation.

  Tessa caught my eye. “Hannah was wondering about beach hikes. I don’t know the beaches as well as you do. I’m trying to remember how to get to that old trail we used to take in high school. Do you know?”

  “I can tell you how to get there.”

  “That would be awesome!” Hannah glanced from Derek to Jack. “Can I go?”

  “Of course,” Derek said. “I sure as hell can’t keep up with you, though. I’d prefer it if you went with someone. There might be moose there.”

  It was a great spot for eagle viewing, and there most certainly could be moose around. Moose were almost always around in this part of Alaska.

  When I looked toward Hannah and saw the hopefulness in her eyes, I decided to just roll with it. A few minutes later, we were walking down the sidewalk.

  “I think Jack, I mean Uncle Jack, likes you,” she announced.

  I glanced her way. “Uh, well…” I hedged.

  She smiled shyly. “I know you barely know me, but he totally has a thing for you. I’m just saying.”

  Hope shot up flares in my heart, but I ignored it. I didn’t trust myself. Maybe Jack did like me, but that was chemistry. I knew he didn’t want to suddenly change his life and have a serious relationship.

  I shrugged. “Okay.”

  When I didn’t say anything else, she shifted gears, saying, “It’s still weird to call him uncle.”

  “I can imagine. How are you doing? This is a big change for you,” I offered.

  Hannah glanced at me quickly before looking away as we continued walking. “It’s okay. I’m okay. It’s been a weird year. My mom died, and Derek, I mean Dad, is all I have. And he’s sick.” Her voice cracked on the last word.

  When I looked her way, her eyes were on the trees ahead. “I bet that’s hard. I bet this whole thing is hard.”

  “It is.” She lifted her chin, but she didn’t look my way.

  I wanted to give her the space she so obviously needed, so I didn’t add anything. We fell into quiet as we walked. A few moments later, I gestured to the side. “Down here.”

  Hannah followed me down to the harbor. I showed her the gravel path that led to the beach away from the docks. “I used to hike all the time when I was younger,” I explained as we walked.

  “Tessa said this is a good spot to see the sea lions,” Hannah said.

  “It is. They often rest on some rocks in the water.” We picked our way over a rocky section of the trail. “This isn’t an official trail. When the tide comes in, the water closes it off for a few hours.”

  I could see the tide was rolling in, but I guessed we had a few hours.

  “That’s kind of cool,” Hannah said after a moment.

  “That’s why I’ve always liked this trail. The view is incredible, and it’s never a busy spot.”

  We traveled in silence for a little while and crossed over the area the tide would eventually cover when it came in. Even though I hadn’t planned on this for today, I enjoyed the hike and needed the fresh air and scenery to break me out of my funk. With the trail following the shoreline, it offered a gorgeous view.