McKenna

  As soon as I asked the question, I silently cursed to myself. By asking, I put it out there that I wanted him to stay. I did, so very much. But what if he didn’t want to stay? Cue the awkward moment.

  My charged question lingered in the air between us. I could feel the echo of my heartbeat reverberating against my rib cage. I didn’t realize I was holding my breath until Jack nodded.

  “Stay,” he said.

  My breath released in a whoosh.

  Something woke me, maybe a gust of wind against the windows. I was curled up on my side. I felt warm, comfortable, and protected. Jack was spooned behind me.

  I blinked my eyes open to see the clock on my nightstand read 5:30 a.m. I usually woke up around six. I took a soft breath, savoring the warmth.

  With Jack, every expectation was being proven wrong.

  His knees were tucked in the bend of mine, and I could feel his muscled body curled behind me, relaxed in sleep. One arm was draped along my hip with his palm resting on the curve of my belly. I savored the touch. It felt so good to be held.

  My mind spun back to last night and his look of surprise when I explained I’d technically been a virgin. I almost snorted aloud as I lay there. I hadn’t wanted it to mean much. It was a pesky detail.

  When I took another breath, I felt Jack come awake. His palm shifted, and his thumb stroked along the edge of my waist.

  “McKenna?” His voice was rumbly and gruff.

  The sound of my name sent a shiver through my whole body. “Yes?”

  “Are you awake?”

  Chapter Twenty-One

  McKenna

  Tessa and Quinn were already there when I walked into the restaurant at Fireweed Winery. Some people assumed I ate here regularly because it was my family’s restaurant. Don’t get me wrong, I was loyal, but I ate here because the food was freaking amazing. It was so good we landed in world-class curated restaurant reviews more than once.

  The hostess glanced up and waved me by when I walked in. “Your friends already got a table.”

  Tessa smiled up at me when I approached.

  “Hey!” Quinn lifted her wineglass aloft.

  “We already got drinks,” Tessa added.

  “What did you get me?” I slipped into my chair after hanging my jacket on the back.

  “I’m in the mood for wine,” Quinn replied, “but Tessa is in the mood for a mellow gooseberry mead.”

  Tessa gestured back and forth between the bottles. “Take your pick.”

  “Is Fiona still meeting us?”

  Quinn took a swallow of her wine as she nodded. “I came through the back, and she walked in with me. I tried to keep her from checking on the specials, but⁠—”

  Tessa rolled her eyes, finishing Quinn’s sentence. “She can’t help herself.”

  “I’m here!” Fiona said over my shoulder.

  “So if they had enough time to order wine, you were checking on the specials for a few minutes,” I chimed in as Fiona slipped into the chair beside me.

  When her cheeks turned pink, I waggled my brows. “Oh, Blake’s working late.”

  Tessa’s chuckle was sly when Quinn offered, “Make-out session with the hubs.”

  Fiona grabbed the glass of ice water in front of her and took a long swallow before shrugging. “I was just saying hi.”

  “I don’t need to know anything about any of my brothers making out in the office.” I cast a faux glare between Quinn and Fiona. With Quinn married to Kenan and Fiona married to Blake, I was grateful that I had sisters-in-law I loved, but I had to set some boundaries.

  “You don’t have to worry about that with me,” Tessa offered, brushing her auburn curls off her shoulders.

  I filled my glass with mead. “Tessa and I have solidarity.”

  “Solidarity?” Fiona prompted. She was the newest friend in our circle, having moved to Fireweed Harbor only two years prior.

  “I’ve already been married and divorced. I have a son and a custody battle for at least the next fifteen years,” Tessa said. “I will never be in another committed relationship.”

  “Oh.” That was Fiona’s only response to the bitterness laced within Tessa’s words.

  “Trust me, she has good reasons,” I offered with a nod toward Tessa. “At least you’re divorced now.”

  “Exactly, but what about you?” Tessa prompted.

  “What do you mean?” I countered. “I don’t want to get serious.” I had a pat answer whenever this came up. “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with just wanting to enjoy life on my own. I have a big family. I’ll be everyone’s favorite aunt.”

  Quinn cut in. “The only aunt. All of your siblings are brothers.”

  Tessa snorted.

  “Fine. Just, that’s it. I don’t want the pressure.”

  “But what if you fall in love?” Fiona asked softly.

  “I won’t.”

  “I admire your confidence,” Quinn said. She paused, studying me. “I didn’t think I would ever fall for anyone.”

  “That’s because you weren’t paying attention to Kenan. You two were best friends, and it took years for you to figure out you were perfect together,” I offered.

  Quinn shrugged, unperturbed by my observation. “You really don’t know what’s going to happen. Life can surprise you.”

  “I didn’t think I would ever be serious with anyone again,” Fiona chimed in. She tended to be somewhat solemn, and I liked that about her. She conveyed a sense of quiet strength.

  I looked at Tessa. “You understand.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Oh, I do, but I’m not sure why you feel this way.”

  I didn’t care to explain. I didn’t even remember my own father. I’d been too young to remember when he died. I had to watch our grandfather terrorize all of us after our dad died and wonder why nobody protected us. I became my oldest brother’s target, while he was the primary target for our grandfather. Those lessons had been important. I knew things could look a certain way on the outside and be entirely different behind closed doors.

  I did what I usually did and played this off with a shrug. “I don’t have to have a good reason. When it comes to being a woman in the world, the cards are not marked in our favor. No matter how far we’ve come, it’s a man’s world. Look at what’s happening now. They’re trying to take away the rights we’ve won.”

  “That’s a depressing point,” Quinn said as the server arrived to check on us.

  After he took our orders and left, I glanced at Fiona. “Poor guy is totally nervous having you here.”

  “It’s not just me. You’re here,” she pointed out.

  “We’ll leave a good tip for his stress.”

  We were in the midst of our main course when I heard my brother Wyatt’s voice. I glanced over to see him leaning on the corner of the bar, not too far from our table. The bartender handed him a bottle before he headed our way.

  Since my brief interaction with him the other night, I felt a deeper kinship with Wyatt. He knew about the unwanted baggage tangled around me.

  “Are you joining us?” I asked when he stopped beside my shoulder.

  “No, just saying hi. I’m meeting with Adam and Blake to discuss the details about taking over as the head brewer here.”

  As if on cue, Adam came through the side door behind the bar and made a beeline for us.

  “Your timing is perfect,” Quinn offered with a grin.

  “No Kenan?” Fiona prompted just as Adam stopped beside Wyatt.

  Adam chimed in, “He’s meeting us too, last-minute addition.” He glanced toward Quinn. “He said you left him alone for the night.”

  I let out a laugh at the twinkle in Adam’s eyes.

  Quinn shrugged. “He’ll survive.”

  Wyatt placed his hand on my shoulder, the casual squeeze reassuring. My brothers departed, and I happened to be glancing toward Tessa and noticed her gaze practically burning holes in Adam’s back.

  I wasn’t thinking when I asked, “Uh, what did Adam do to you?”

  Tessa snapped her eyes to me. “Nothing.”

  I didn’t know what undercurrent I was missing, but clearly, I needed to get up to speed.

  A short while later, we had finished paying when Blake and Kenan came out and swooped in to depart with Quinn and Fiona.

  As we all stood beside the table for a moment, putting on our jackets, I glanced from one couple to the next. My eyes collided with Tessa’s. She looked as resigned as I felt. I was happy for my brothers, truly. Yet I couldn’t imagine having the kind of love they’d found.

  A tiny voice in my thoughts piped up in a high-pitched whisper. There’s Jack.

  My far more developed cynical voice retorted quickly. Jack is hot. He’s pretty nice, but that’s it. Don’t go wishing for things you can’t have.

  I said my goodbyes and turned to walk home. The night air was crisp and icy cold, and my boots crunched on the sidewalk. It was clear of snow with a few icy patches. The rock salt on the road and sidewalk glittered under the moon and streetlights.

  I had a habit of going to the harbor docks whenever I walked at night. It was beautiful and felt both invigorating and soothing. As I strolled along the docks, I could feel the movement of the water underneath and hear the soft lap of the water slapping against the sides of the boats. I took a breath, savoring the salty air. I looked up at the dark mountain ridges forming a jagged line in the night sky, the moon behind them glittering on the inky-black water in the quiet town.

  I stuffed my hands in my pockets, shivering slightly as I turned to look from the harbor toward town. My hometown was nestled into the foothills of the mountains. The winding roads were illuminated by the lights from houses.

  I started walking home, my hair blowing in a spin. A moment later, I let out a startled squeak when footsteps approached.

  “It’s just me, McKenna.” Jack’s voice reached me as I turned back to see him.

  I took an unsteady breath. “Oh.” He stopped beside me. I didn’t like being startled. Not at all. “Where did you come from?”

  “I was just coming out of the grocery store.” He gestured to the store at an angle across from us on the other side of the street.

  “Oh.”

  I felt a little silly, maybe a lot silly, but I didn’t suppose I could do anything about my startle reflex.

  “I’ll have to remember it’s easy to scare you. I didn’t mean to.”

  I looked up at him, trying to tell myself that my heart had taken off like a horse out of the gate at a race because he startled me. Maybe that was what started it, but it wasn’t slowing. Three entire nights had passed since my night with him. I wanted to lie and tell myself I hadn’t thought about him. My thoughts had turned to him during any moment when I wasn’t preoccupied.

  “Can I walk you home?”

  We strode through the quiet darkness. My entire body hummed with a subtle electricity. I told myself that Jack was just accompanying me home and that there was nothing more to it.

  Because I don’t want anything more. Right?

  We stopped in front of my steps. Just say good night.

  When I looked up at him and felt the heat on my cheeks, I hoped it was too dark for him to notice.

  “Do you want to come in?”

  When Jack hesitated and looked away, I took a breath and ignored the rush of disappointment.

  “Yes, but you need to know something.”

  “What’s that?”

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Jack

  Against my better judgment, we stood outside of McKenna’s house. The air had a bite of icy cold to it.

  When McKenna shivered a little, curling her shoulders forward, I reflexively reached for her. “Maybe we could talk inside?”

  A moment later, she was slipping out of her coat. “Let me turn up the heat,” she said as she kicked off her boots. She padded across the living room to the thermostat by the bathroom door.

  “Do you want to start a fire?”

  “Sure, you just—” She began when I walked over to the switch by the fireplace.

  “Turn this on,” I offered with a wink. The propane flames flickered on.

  She grinned just as Snowy leaped down from the top of the refrigerator. McKenna leaned down to pet her before the kitten made her way over to inspect me. When I stroked her back, a purr rumbled from her throat. She didn’t dally, though, and meandered over to the windows overlooking the street and hopped up to sit on the windowsill.

  “Snowy loves it there,” McKenna offered. “She likes watching anything that moves.”

  “Most cats do.”

  “Do you want anything to drink?” she asked.

  “Are you having anything?”

  She opened her refrigerator, peering inside. “Maybe. I have juice, water, and honey blueberry mead. No beer.”

  “If you’re having mead, I’ll take some.”

  McKenna approached the living room a moment later, handing me a bottle. “Sit.” She gestured to the couch.

  “I’ll have to find some of my own furniture when I move into my house,” I commented. “Don’t suppose you’ll let me take the furniture with me.”

  She chuckled as she shook her head.

  “I love these couches. They’re seriously comfortable.”

  “I can tell you exactly where we get them. I’ll have Sandy let you know.”

  “The Sandy who was on vacation when I looked at my place?”

  “That’s the one.”

  “That would be great. I just want comfortable furniture, and I hate shopping.”

  “Can’t say I blame you,” McKenna replied with a quick smile.

  “Why are you in one of your family’s rentals?” I couldn’t help my curiosity.

  McKenna took a swallow of her mead, temporarily distracting me. My gaze lingered on her lips as she drew the bottle away. Her tongue slid across her delectable bottom lip before she replied, “We relocated the headquarters for Fireweed Industries back here only a few years ago. I handle public relations, so I was in Seattle. We’ve always had the winery, the brewery, and the restaurant here. I just haven’t gotten around to sorting out whether I want to build or buy a place. My mother, of course, offered to let me stay in the house where we grew up, but—” Her lips twisted to the side, and she shrugged. “I love my mother, but I want my own space.” She swept a hand in an arc. “These houses are nice.”

  “I completely understand. If it weren’t that I needed a place for my brother to be with me, I would probably happily stay in one of these.”

  McKenna leaned forward and set her bottle on the coffee table. “You said you wanted to explain something.”

  She faced me fully. The desire I felt for her was an ever-present distraction. When she lifted her hand, her fingers absently fiddling with one of the buttons on her silky blouse, I wanted to lean over and drag my tongue along her skin.

  I forced my attention away. “I want you,” I said.

  Pink crested high on McKenna’s cheeks. “That’s what you wanted to talk to me about?”

  “After the other night…” I tried to corral my competing urges into a sensible path forward. As I stared into McKenna’s pretty eyes, I had to face reality. Nothing about my reaction to McKenna or what she made me want was sensible.

  Still, I forced myself to forge ahead. “I don’t want you to get the wrong idea. I feel like I need to be straightforward about the fact that my life doesn’t have room for a relationship. Once my brother’s here, I’ll be focused on him. Beyond that, my job isn’t convenient for anything like a relationship.”

  Her eyes narrowed. “Did I give you the impression I wanted a relationship?”

  Her blunt comment knocked me mentally off balance for a beat. “No, but I actually like you. I don’t want to be an asshole, even by accident. Beyond my life right now, I’ve never wanted to have kids. That seems like something many people want.”

  “I don’t.” McKenna’s reply was sharp and clear.

  I sensed hints of anger and pain underneath her words.

  “Okay.”

  We were quiet for a few beats before McKenna leaned forward, reaching for her bottle of mead and taking a long swallow before setting it down. “Is that it, then?” she asked.

  I felt like this conversation hadn’t gone the way I intended and tried to correct the course. “McKenna, the other night was incredible. I don’t want it to be⁠—”

  She cut in swiftly. “We can just leave it at one night.” The expression on her face was carefully flat.

  Disappointment sliced through me. Even if I was busy reminding myself I wasn’t a good bet, that I didn’t have time for anything else, it hurt more than I expected for her to so easily insist one night was all we would have.

  Before I could think better of it, I spoke. “I don’t just want one night.” There was a force behind my words, surprising me with its intensity.

  McKenna blinked, her eyes widening slightly. I reached for her hand, where it rested on her knee, and turned it over in mine. Lifting it, I dusted a kiss on the inside of her wrist. Her breath hissed through her teeth. The sound of her swallowing was loud in the charged space between us.

  “Oh.”

  “Is that all you want? Just one night? Because I want more than one more time with you, and I have a feeling that won’t be enough.” Me, the bad bet, the guy who never wanted anyone to expect anything, was fighting for more than a one-night stand.

  She shook her head but didn’t say anything.

  “Does that mean you don’t want one more night, or you do want more?”

  The flush on her cheeks deepened. “That’s not all I want.”

  “Tell me why you don’t want to have a relationship.” My curiosity got the best of me.

  Wariness flickered in her eyes before she shrugged casually. “I just don’t see why it’s such a big deal for everyone. That’s all.”

  “Is that really all?” I pressed.

  You’re sure asking a lot of questions, my cynical mind taunted me.

  I sure was.