“Simon.” Savannah broke down.

  I grabbed her face the best I could with splinted fingers that luckily were mostly dislocated. “Hey, honey, you were the only thing that mattered to me, okay? I could take it, and I’m fine. A little laziness and weeks of being in a cast was all worth it. Tell me you understand that? Savannah, tell me.”

  “I understand.” She went back to resting her head on my chest, and I used my uninjured hand to stroke her hair.

  I shot a glance at Marcel to find him staring at his notes but didn’t seem to be reading them. I was fine. No one would’ve mourned me beyond what was publicly acceptable. My parents would’ve used my death as some political stunt. Sadly, I was okay with that. I understood because that was all I’d ever known, but Savannah had so much, she had her friends, her parents, and she was an amazing kid.

  “Savannah, could you do me a favor?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Could you find me the largest caramel coffee in this damn building? They tried to give me tea disguised as coffee when I woke up.” I nodded toward her dad, and she gave me a smile and ordered Tony and Carmine to follow her.

  “Give that girl of yours power, and she’s trying to take over.” Carmine mouthed for me to take all the time I needed and then left.

  I waited for the door to close, but Marcel never looked up. “What’s going on in your head?”

  “They tried to kill my baby.”

  “Savannah will be fine. What other kid gets a full security detail of mob muscle? She’s probably becoming corrupted by the power of it.”

  “Don’t joke about this. You dared them to kill you.”

  “I didn’t dare them. I ordered them to.”

  “That’s unacceptable, Graves.” He used my last name, and for some reason, it felt like a slap. “You gave up your weapon and led an unknown number of armed assailants into a shipyard without a fucking vest.”

  “My parents would’ve gotten a nice, folded flag out of it.”

  “Simon.” He rumbled my name, but he may as well have roared with the rage that was in those two syllables.

  “I don’t have a death wish, I’m notoriously anti-getting-shot, but she’s a baby, Marcel. She’s sweet and compassionate, and the world needed her. You and her mother needed her. Who the fuck needs me? I was okay with my life ending in that shipyard. I’d already accepted it when I realized what I’d have to do. Every time I slowed down. Every hit to a container or heavier steps. I knew, and I was completely fine with it.”

  While I waited for him to fight me, he shocked me instead as he turned and stormed out of the room. The door slammed against the wall with the force of the jerk. I laid my head back and wondered what the fuck I said wrong.

  18

  DOUGLAS

  Who the fuck needs me? His words still repeated in my head, and I didn’t know how to handle them. This man I’d fallen for, who had ordered armed men to kill him to save my daughter, and he wondered who the fuck needed him?

  We did, his friends, and found family, because fuck his biological one. When he’d awakened, I felt so much relief, and then one of his first conscious thoughts besides the pain was if Savannah was okay. Then he demanded to see her, and I could see how much he had to prove to himself he’d kept her safe without a scratch on her. If I hadn’t assumed it before, I would have in that moment—he loved my kid like she was his own.

  It was there in everything he’d done since I’d introduced them, and when the three of us had dinner. He spoke to her every day, and he video chatted with her over schoolwork when I was clueless. I thought I was a pretty smart man, but math was ridiculous, and he always answered.

  “Are you okay, Dad?”

  I threw my arm across her shoulders and hugged her to my side. “Yeah, yeah, it’s just all hitting me now. What about you?”

  “I’m fine. Tony’s in the waiting room ready for orders to take me back to Carmine’s. Is Simon okay?”

  “He’ll be fine, I promise.”

  “You left really mad earlier. We saw you storming down the hall before the elevator doors closed.”

  “He just said some things that I didn’t know how to process, and I had to go before I said or did something I couldn’t take back.”

  “You can’t be mad at him.”

  “I am mad at him, but not in the way you think. He purposely put his life on the line.”

  “He did it for me. Wouldn’t you do the same?”

  “But I’m your dad.”

  “He loves me, he makes time, he helps with homework, and lets me interrogate him at the Outreach.”

  “But he doesn’t love me.” Fuck! I let my head fall back against the wall. “And I’m having a hard time trying to get over that, okay? This is nothing for you to worry about. I just need some sleep. I think we all do. And I shouldn’t even be thinking about this right now. We have a case, and someone is trying to kill the most important parts of my family, you and Simon.”

  “Is Mom coming home?”

  “Soon. She put in a request for leave. She explained to the general what was going on and should be on a transport in about a week.”

  “Simon is still coming home with us, right?”

  “Of course. Who else is going to make him behave?”

  “Um, Dad, I don’t think you making him behave is actually possible.”

  “I could make him act right if I wanted to.”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “Savannah,” Carmine called her name, and I turned to watch him approach with Tony slightly behind him. “Stephen is about to start dinner and was wondering if he should set our new girl a place.”

  “Can I?”

  “Of course. Go say bye to Simon, and we’ll come get you when it’s time to go.” She gave me a tight hug and then ran back to Simon’s room, Tony close on her heels. “Carmine, thanks for this.”

  “Think nothing of it. Simon trusted me to protect her. Once you have her mother home, Tony will still be staying close by. He’s yours until you know who attacked your daughter and Simon.”

  “What’s the word on the street?”

  “Word is, Boss is working damage control in the wake of the Cold Case squad. No concrete evidence yet, but I don’t think it’ll be long before the tips start coming in.”

  “Any bodies?”

  “None that seem to be connected to this. Graves’s parents are on the news playing the hero son angle. They’re just waiting for a way to use this to their advantage. Your captain is making appeals on the news for any information leading to information on the attack of his detective.”

  “What about Savannah?”

  “Nothing about her. I think he wanted to keep her name out of it. Until Simon said something, I think most people were saying he was the target. As far as anyone knows, she was never at the scene.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Are you okay?”

  “He planned to die, Carmine, and I’m not sure how to handle that.”

  “I know. When he made me no promises, I knew. Saving her was all he cared about, Douglas. That she got home to you without a scratch. Don’t take that for granted.”

  “I don’t. He’s my friend.”

  “But you want so much more. Patience is key, but until then, I’ll protect your daughter. You just keep Simon alive and try to make him understand that we’d mourn him even if he doesn’t think so.”

  I nodded, and Carmine turned to head back to Simon’s room, but I remained, leaning against the wall several rooms down from his. When I’d stormed away, I hadn’t gone farther than the waiting room, but then I wandered back to be in eyesight of his room. I’d try to explain my feelings away as gratitude at what he’d done, but they were there before. Every new smile or joke, the way he’d started to relax.

  We’d gone on high alert when they’d announced the officer down call and the entire force was being mobilized. My world had imploded around me when Captain Tyson had a uniform officer tell me I needed to come to the hospital but wouldn’t give me any details. On the way there, I’d called Simon and Savannah’s phones repeatedly, but no one answered. I’d known I was about to mourn one or the both of them.

  And I instantly regretted that I’d never told him how I felt, even if he didn’t return the feelings. Simon couldn’t comprehend someone cared about him beyond what he could do for them. If I had, maybe he wouldn’t have acted so quickly, thinking he wasn’t worth existing. Almost losing him and Savannah was too much for me. I didn’t understand why it had to happen at that moment, and I was too wrung out to deal with the revelation.

  All I could do was get him home to heal and then get this case solved. After that, I’d decide what to do. Would I confess or leave what we had the way it was? I knew he still didn’t want me, but that was my issue, not his. I let out a deep sigh, inhaled and exhaled until I brought myself under control and returned to his room.

  When I walked inside, I froze just inside the door.

  “Honey, I’m fine. Look at me.”

  “You look like shit.”

  He softly laughed as he swept her curls out of her eyes with his right hand. “I’m feeling the love.”

  “Dad said you’re coming home with us.”

  “No. I can take care of myself. It’s probably safer if I go back to my house.”

  “You gotta come home. If you love me, you’ll come home.”

  “Emotional blackmail, really, Savvy? You’re gonna play that card with me?”

  Seeing my daughter and Simon together showed me just how close they’d become and if I made my move and confessed my feelings, I could hurt him and her if it didn’t work out. I’d stick with being friends, no matter how badly that hurt. I focused on them and their conversation.

  “I am.”

  “Fine, I’ll think about it.”

  “Not good enough. I’ll make Tony drag you home for me.”

  “He knows better. I already shot him once.”

  “I did, too.” She squealed.

  I covered my mouth with my hand to hide my grin as Tony groaned and Carmine chuckled. I wanted that story more than anything. Also, it was probably inappropriate that Simon was encouraging my daughter’s crimefighter streak.

  “Go home, so Stephen can make you dinner. You’ve been here most of the day.”

  “Okay, I love you, Simon.”

  “Love you, too, honey. Go on, and behave. They said I’d probably get out of here tomorrow after they put on my cast.”

  I stood back and let everyone say goodbye, and then I was left alone with Simon.

  “What did I say?”

  “When?”

  “To make you mad.”

  “I think it was a culmination of all of it, the way you were so ready to die and then had the nerve to ask who needed you. My daughter does. You think she would’ve recovered from thinking that you died for her. She’s thirteen, Simon. She considers you a member of her family.”

  “I’m sorry. I’m not used to all that, Marcel. I’m not…all of this is weird for me. I have an attorney in charge of all my affairs. Everything’s being sold and-or given to the Outreach or charity. My body is going to be buried in an unmarked grave, no funeral. That’s my life, that’s how it’s always been, and I don’t see it changing.”

  “You’re coming home with us. Until we figure out what’s going on, you won’t be out of my sight for any period of time.”

  “You’re not kicking me off this case.”

  “You’re as hands-on as you can be. You have to take care of that hand, though. That’s why you’re taking a few days to heal up, and you’ll work from my couch. We’ll go by your place on the way to my apartment to get anything you need.”

  “Do you like cats?”

  “Why?”

  “Moriarty is one of my things I need.”

  “You have a cat?” I didn’t understand why that shocked me. He didn’t seem like the pet type, but I would’ve thought he’d be more a fish person. Maybe he had a low-maintenance cat.

  “He doesn’t require a lot of care, put out food, give him catnip, we get along just fine.”

  “Why Moriarty?”

  “Because he has a psychopathic personality, and it seemed to fit.”

  “So you want to bring a psycho cat into my apartment?”

  “He’s very antisocial, too. I got him a year ago as a rescue. They were going to put him down. He kept getting returned for behavioral issues. Put his cave in a corner, and you’ll never see him.”

  “Fine, for you, I’ll put up with your cat. He seems to have the same personality as you.”

  “You’re not funny.”

  “I’m hilarious. Get used to it.”

  “Are we okay?”

  “We’re fine. I think we just need sleep and to get back to work. Everything will be back to normal.”

  I hope he didn’t see my lies. I stepped away from the door as there was a knock, and it opened, showing the daytime nurse coming in.

  “Detective Graves, it’s time to change your dressing on your back.”

  “Okay,” he muttered and leaned forward, pulling the hospital gown down in front.

  Damn, he exposed thick hair across his lean, flat pecs that thinned to a line down the center of his flat belly, but the sheet and blanket bunched around his waist didn’t let me see if it fanned out beneath his outie belly button. As I watched as she tended to him, I saw a thin, faded scar on his left side between his ribs and hip. There was a peppering of what looked like pellet wounds to his right shoulder. Other than that, he was flawless.

  He’d kept himself covered since he woke up, and they’d always asked me to leave whenever they removed his gown in the ER and then after they’d moved him to a room. I still had to explain the husband and daughter lie we’d played into, but that could wait. Who knew if he even remembered after he’d awakened in so much pain?

  We’d go back to my apartment the next day, and I’d work my ass off to solve this case. I was ready to move on with my life, whether that included Simon or not. Even though losing him didn’t feel like an option for me.

  19

  GRAVES

  “You’re going to owe me big time for this,” Marcel said as he snarled and held the cat carrier at arms’ length while my cat had a psychotic break inside. I’d spent the hour he took to wrangle Moriarty laughing as he used a couch cushion as a shield as he tried to herd the beast into the crate.

  All ten pounds of hairless cat had almost taken the big, bad detective out. Hell, it was barely more than a kitten. He was only a few months old when I got him. I sat on the couch watching him as I adjusted my arm in the sling.

  “You didn’t say I needed hazard pay.”

  “He weighs ten pounds.”

  “He might as well weigh two hundred. He has the personality of a rabid lion.”

  “You’re so dramatic. Once he’s free, he’ll be happy.” I didn’t mention that said cat needed a bath weekly and he wasn’t fond of them. Douglas was going to be thrilled with that chore since I only had one hand, I couldn’t do it.

  “There is no happiness, only evil.” He placed the crate on the carpet in the center of the living room.

  “You might want to put his cave in a corner first,” I suggested and earned a glare. But I took a page from Doc, Remy, and Roo’s handbook and batted my lashes. “I warned you.”

  “You’re having way too much fun.”

  I shrugged as he backed away from the carrier, set everything up, and put the extra litter box in the laundry room before he made his way to open the door. He stood behind it, pinched the closure, and swung it open. Just as I’d told him, Moriarty was on the move until he spotted his dome hideaway and darted into it.

  “See, I told you.”

  “I’m sleeping with my door locked, or I’ll wake up with my throat ripped out.” He warily stared at the hideaway Moriarty disappeared into, and I studied him.

  He seemed a lot more relaxed in the recent weeks. He smiled, and he joked. He was still sarcastic, but I chalked that up to a personality quirk. He wore a t-shirt that barely contained his muscular upper body. I’d never paid attention to how a person was built. To me, bodies were bodies. They were built large or small, thin or muscular or fat. I could tell people of all kinds were attractive. Yet I’d never noticed the play of muscles beneath the skin or the way clothes highlighted a person’s form. He confused me, always had, and I still couldn’t figure out why.

  “When is Savvy coming home?”

  “Carmine is going to bring her by after dinner. Stephen’s making some dessert she wanted to try.”

  “Stephen is very domestic. He drives the house staff crazy.”

  “Have you been there?”

  “I have.”

  “How is it you became besties with Carmine? It had to be more than about you showing him respect.” Marcel crossed the room and fell back onto the couch.

  “Organized Crime squad is a bit feral. You have to learn to adapt. Carmine has the usual ego of the man who would do anything to keep his position. When we met, he hadn’t gotten married yet. It was my first assignment after I earned my detective’s shield. He had dossiers on everyone in the unit. Knew who my parents were. The first time we went to his club, he was polite and personable. In my gut, I knew it wasn’t an act. It was well-known that he’d gotten rid of some of his father’s business interests when he took over. After a while, I noticed changes in him, and I got suspicious. He was harder to find, and a few months later, I found out about Stephen.”

  “He said Stephen was a single, divorced dad.”

  “Yeah, kinda weird, but after Stephen found out who he was, he cut off all contact with Carmine. For a few years he spiraled so badly. I won’t say he’s on the completely legal path now, but a lot changed when he realized he couldn’t live without Stephen and the kids.” I turned my head to see if he was disgusted by my friendship with Carmine, but I only saw amusement. “Internal Affairs hounded my every step. They still keep a pretty close eye on me.”