I stumbled into the kitchen, rubbing my hand over my curls in search of coffee. The apartment was quiet, but I’d heard Marcel softly snoring on the couch. The guest bedroom door was closed, but the hallway bathroom shower was running. It was a school day, and Savvy must have been getting ready. My left hand was pretty much useless, but it had been a week, so the bruises were fading. They’d started turning that sickly jaundiced color that stood out on my pale skin. The bullet graze over my ear wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been. The scar would be minimal.

  A lot of that night was still a blur after I entered the shipyard. As hard as I tried to remember, the memories seemed to get farther away. I’d known I told myself to catalog everything, but the details weren’t there other than the pain and me ordering them to kill me. They’d wanted Savvy. That’s why I was beating myself up so much because it was her, and I needed to protect her.

  I started a pot of coffee as quietly as I could and started searching the fridge for something to make for breakfast. I needed to start learning to do things for myself. More than anything, I needed to go home soon. At least I was decent in the kitchen. I hadn’t needed those skills in a long time. Cooking just for myself was depressing on a good day. I remembered pre-Cold Case squad vegan and gluten-free, no fat Simon Graves. My former diet went the way of my buzzed head.

  The new unit meant a chance at a do-over with my life. Summons by my parents was the only time I ate anything I hated. I cursed as I struggled opening packages but worked it out when I found a pair of kitchen scissors. By the time I sensed I wasn’t alone in the kitchen, I had bacon in the oven to keep warm, eggs ready to scramble, and toast started. That task turned into a bit of a nightmare.

  “Why aren’t you still asleep?” Marcel asked as he passed close behind me and patted my hip as he went to pour himself coffee. I frowned at the affectionate touch.

  “I slept all night.” His answering grunt amused me.

  One thing I’d learned above all else—midnight to two AM, and Marcel was ready to go, seven AM, and he was unbearable. I dropped butter into the pan, dumped in the eggs, and instantly started stirring.

  “Savvy sounded like she was getting ready for school.”

  “This is about that time,” he muttered as he refilled my mug and poured one for Savvy as I heard steps coming down the hall.

  “Am I in an alternate universe? Breakfast that’s not leftovers or microwaved?” I heard her backpack hitting the floor, and I glanced over my shoulder.

  “Good morning to you too. Thank Simon, because this wasn’t my doing.”

  “I know. Morning is fending for myself.”

  I chuckled as Marcel growled, and she hugged my waist. I dropped a kiss to her soft hair. “Make your coffee and then butter the toast for me, please. That’s not working for me one-handed.” I’d tried it and ate the three pieces I’d broken the first slice into.

  “Got it.”

  “You’re awfully agreeable at this early hour.”

  “Simon made me food.”

  “Can’t I go even a few days without being awakened at the taint of dawn?” Donna’s annoyed voice made Marcel’s morning attitude seem cheerful.

  “You signed up for early mornings.” She snarled at Marcel as I carried the pan to the table.

  I thanked Marcel as he quickly finished setting the table, and we all sat down after Donna poured the last of the coffee and started another pot.

  “What’s everyone’s plans for the day?” Savvy asked.

  “I’m taking the early riser to work to see about getting the rest of the forensic reports.”

  “Good luck getting those from Coleman before the next century,” I said snarkily as I made my plate after Savvy piled food onto hers.

  “I’m going to meet up with some friends that I let know I was back in the city. I’ll be back by the time she gets off school.”

  I tensed as a big hand squeezed my thigh. “Thanks for cooking,” Marcel said before he went back to eating.

  Conversation went on around me as I tried to dissect why him touching me made me feel odd. Did the concussion and head wound mess up my usual calm and caution when it came to physical contact? I’d never liked it before, but with Marcel, I didn’t feel overwhelmed or annoyed by the touches and teasing.

  Savvy jumped up, gave out hugs, and headed for the door yelling bye. I snorted as she ordered Tony to get his ass in gear.

  “She’s going to be completely lost without enforcers to bully.” I joked.

  “This is all your fault. She didn’t need any more encouragement to be assertive, and now she’ll want to plot world domination.”

  “She’ll excel.” Donna and I said in unison, and Marcel shook his head.

  “My home life has turned into four against one, and I’m not happy about it.”

  “Four? It’s just me, Simon, and our daughter.”

  “That damn cat.”

  I nearly choked on my coffee. “He’s ten pounds. You act like he’s an apex predator ready to take you out while you’re asleep.”

  “Exactly.”

  “You’re ridiculous.” I finished off my breakfast and stood to head to the sink.

  “Baby, you actually think you’re doing dishes one-handed?”

  “I cooked, didn’t I?”

  “I don’t care. Go get ready. We also have to see about getting your stitches out.”

  “Doc said he’d remove them for me and to just come by the morgue when I was ready.”

  “Then we’ll hit the morgue on the way to work.” He got up from the table and picked up his plate. He approached me. I stepped out of the way before he was close enough to touch. I couldn’t keep allowing him to invade my personal space. “Um, I’ll help you get dressed after you shower.” He turned his back to me, and I noticed Donna staring at us.

  Because it seemed like my only option, I escaped to his bedroom and quickly made the bed. With the plastic bags and rubber bands he kept in the bathroom for me, I wrapped my casted hand, and I was growing tired of the hard plaster that went to the middle of my forearm. I’d finally been able to stop taking the painkillers except at night and just used over-the-counter meds for the last few days.

  I turned on the shower to heat as I stripped down and missed my large walk-in shower with the multiple showerheads. I needed to go home, but anytime I mentioned it, Marcel and I had an argument. I wanted to be surrounded by my things—the quiet that helped with my irritation.

  I stepped into the tub, lifting my arm to rest my wrist on the shower rod to keep it from getting wet even with the bag. The water beat down on the back of my neck and the stiff muscles of my back. I carefully washed my hair and body. I couldn’t wait to take a real shower or bath.

  Before I lingered too long, I turned off the water and got out because Marcel still needed to take a shower. I dried, removed the bag, and brushed my teeth. I did the best I could with my curls with just finger combing them and using a bit of product to control any frizz. The steam of the shower hid my reflection. I couldn’t recall the last time I’d looked at myself for longer than it took to get ready. People told me I was an attractive man. Some even claimed I was gorgeous, but I didn’t see it.

  It wasn’t that I saw myself as an unattractive man or didn’t take pride in my appearance, I just didn’t always see the big deal in studying myself too much. I opened the bathroom door and stepped out into the bedroom. Found clothes and put them on, even tried zipping and buttoning my jeans so Marcel wouldn’t feel obligated to help.

  A knock sounded on the door, and I knew it was Marcel and told him to come in. “Did you put medicine on the graze?”

  “I was waiting to get dressed first.”

  He didn’t speak as he went to the bathroom and came back a few seconds later with the tube of antibacterial ointment. His big body crossed the room, took the cap off and put the medicine on his fingers, and then tossed the tube aside. He lifted my hair and carefully applied it.

  “You don’t have to keep taking care of me.”

  “I know I don’t.” He glanced at me and finished smoothing the thick medicine on.

  “Just because of what I did for Savvy, you don’t owe…”

  “Simon, I do owe you for saving my daughter, but even if you hadn’t, I’d still want to help with this, okay?” He buttoned my pants and slid the zipper closed. He didn’t linger or try to touch me any more than necessary. “Are you okay? Need help with anything else?”

  As I shook my head, he walked to his dresser, and I took in his profile. He had a strong, handsome face. He was a lot broader than my lean, slender frame and was built more like Remy. Tall, husky with a slight belly. My fast metabolism made it where I had to eat often but still didn’t gain weight. I’d even tried lifting weights to bulk up and had lost several pounds instead.

  “I’ll take a quick shower and be ready to go.”

  “I’ll fix a few travel mugs to go.” I stepped into my unzipped tactical boots and bent at the waist to do them up.

  “Thanks, baby, I appreciate it.”

  When I exited the bedroom, Donna was walking toward me.

  “Thanks for breakfast, Simon.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

  “Sure.”

  “What you did for Marcel and our kid, there’s no thanking a person for that.”

  “I told him thanks wasn’t needed.”

  “It is needed. But don’t do anything like it again. Unarmed without body armor? Do I make myself clear? Marcel wouldn’t have been able to live with you ending up dead no matter how expendable you think you are.”

  She didn’t wait for me to answer, and I turned my head to watch her until she disappeared into the guest room. I’d always been expendable, and that wouldn’t change. I shook my head, went to make our coffee to go, and filled my cat’s bowls with water and food. I made him a small pile of treats he could pick from throughout the day. He never took more than one at a time as if he worried that he wouldn’t get fed.

  He’d been underweight and neglected when I got him, and instead of eating fast, he’d always savored his food. We were both broken from some form of neglect. I thought he’d be all I needed when I found him at the shelter. I hadn’t anticipated Savvy or Marcel, no more than I had my friends. I needed a break, but I didn’t see one coming my way until we solved the case and I could get back to my life as normal.

  24

  DOUGLAS

  He told me I didn’t have to take care of him, but that’s all I’d wanted for months. We’d gone to have Doc remove his stitches, picked up the reports, and headed to the basement. Tyson kept side-eyeing me every time I showed up in Homicide and then disappeared. I thought my new temporary office made him nervous. I flopped into Simon’s chair as he sat on the edge of his desk and sat cross-legged.

  “Toxicology is showing traces of a tranquilizer in all our victims,” I said as I read over the new reports.

  “Understandable, all four of our vics are well-built men. But they were also found with rope burns, which is one of the reasons Doc assumed they were held for a period of time.”

  “Did he find any stress injuries to the shoulders as if they were suspended?” I asked even as I went back to the ME reports.

  “Not that he could find. The joints weren’t dislocated. The tox reports and restraints open up the possibility that we’re not looking for a male assailant.”

  “I’m getting more frustrated by the day.” I sighed as we just kept throwing shit out there, and nothing was coming full circle in the way of evidence or getting us closer to a suspect. Simon wasn’t bothered by it. What we were doing was his process. I respected the way he got the job done. Yet that didn’t mean I was having an easy time of it.

  “Join the club, Marcel.”

  “Although, tool mark analysis said it looks like the same pliers were used on all our victims. There was no degeneration of bone, no gum disease, or bad oral health. Someone would need some strength to remove the teeth.” I scanned more of the paperwork. “What if we’re looking for a woman who wants to take over? The drugs in the system. The way they were undressed and re-dressed after the murder. It’s all too clean for a man, and I’m not stereotyping.”

  He stilled as if he’d had a thought. “We do have Jackie Darner. Her deceased husband ran the west side for probably twenty years before he came up missing, and his body was found a few weeks later in the landfill. Rumors are, she or their children took him out. It was well-known he ruled his crew and family with the same brutality. After his death, there was a big shakedown in the west side precinct by Internal Affairs, several uniformed cops and detectives were charged in a corruption sting, and there were a lot of transfers. Money laundering. Narcotics. Those cops became a one-stop-shop. Ms. Darner wasn’t connected to the criminal side of her husband’s business, but that doesn’t mean she didn’t take over.”

  “Do you think she’s capable?”

  “I wouldn’t put it past her. Greed is a huge motivator, but for all intents and purposes, she’s been living quite well off a life insurance policy and the proceeds of his company which her sons still operate. At least that’s what I last heard.”

  “Was he connected to Seamus and Carmine?”

  “Carmine, yes. Darner did business with him, but they fell out when he witnessed Darner strike his wife because she interrupted negotiations. Seamus…he wasn’t big enough back then to cater to Darner’s ego. Seamus had just taken over after his boss died from a heart attack. Thing is though, Darner wasn’t part of the crowd.”

  “In what way?”

  “You see, Donnie Darner was old money. You ask anyone, and they’d say he was a brilliant businessman, country club, tee times with the who’s who of politics and big business. Ran a multimillion-dollar investment firm. They didn’t think he worked his way up. He bought his way into the game with money and favors. Doing your time in the trenches is extremely important to Carmine, Seamus, and even Dekland.”

  “You think we can talk to Darner?”

  “Yeah, let me make some calls.”

  “What about Dekland?”

  “We’re probably going to have to make a surprise visit. He won’t go out of his way to be cooperative in any way. But his place is pretty much a compound, and I’d prefer to have our meeting…public. He has his own army. I can say he’s slightly paranoid.” He hopped off the desk and leaned over to reach his keyboard. He muttered to himself as he had to type with one finger.

  I watched as he did a search for contact information on Jackie Darner, but I moved my attention away from the screen onto the man. I should be completely focused on the case, on all my cases just like I’d always been. Nothing and no one except Savannah had ever come between me and my work. Although having him in my home and working with him twenty-four-seven was fucking with my single-mindedness when it came to my goals and closing my investigations.

  He picked up the receiver on his desk phone and punched in the number. I relaxed back to listen to his side of the conversation. My gaze moved over his lean body, and I wanted to hold him more than anything. Our mornings and helping him dress were completely fucking with my head.

  “This is Detective Simon Graves. I’m trying to reach Ms. Darner.” He paused. “No, sir, this is just a request for an interview. My partner and I can meet with her at her home or at the Southside Precinct at her earliest convenience…Yes, I’ll hold thank you.” He covered the mouthpiece. “Keep your fingers crossed.”

  “Do you think she’ll meet us?”

  “I don’t see why not. If she doesn’t, we’ll just have a reason to look closer…Yes, yes, Ms. Darner, as I told the gentleman who answered, I’m a detective, and my partner and I would like to meet with you. Unofficially, we just want to ask a few questions.”

  The corner of my mouth tugged upward at his bratty eye roll at whatever the lady was saying. I wanted to listen in, but I’d have to wait until he filled me in.

  “Yes, you’re not being investigated for any wrongdoing. We have a few cases, and we’ve spoken to some of your husband’s business associates…I understand he’s been dead for nearly a decade, but we’d just like to inquire about his…Yes, ma’am, if you could just give us a few minutes, we’ll come to you if that would make you more comfortable.”

  An interview on her turf may help her relax enough to let us question her. He was a brilliant man. He was the entire package that I had no chance of getting.

  “You’re more than welcome to have your attorney or your sons there with you. As I said, this isn’t official. Just working on clearing up some theories…the Cold Case Unit, ma’am…Tomorrow at ten would be perfect, thank you, ma’am. Have a good day.” He hung up and turned to smile at me. “We’ll have one chance.”

  “It’s all we’ll need if we ask the right questions.”

  “And do you know what those right questions are?”

  “Don’t be so defeatist.” I smirked as he glared at me.

  “Well, another couple getting cozy in the early mornings. Stay out of our corner, though. Third row in the right is Doc and Stevenson’s spot, so you’ll have to find your own.” Remy warned.

  I narrowed my eyes at him when Simon straightened and turned his back to me. The first time Simon wasn’t rushing to get out of my personal space, and Remy had to be his normally bratty self. As Remy went to take a sip of his coffee, I flipped him off, and he proceeded to choke. Just what he deserved.

  “You think we have time to stop by Dekland’s?” I asked.

  “Not a bad idea. Make sure you have your vest on.”

  “I’m not the one who forgets, baby.” I fussed at him as I stood and headed for the door right behind him.

  “I was off work. I didn’t need it.”

  “It appeared that you did.”

  “I don’t want to be in listening distance when those two give in to all that sexual tension,” Remy said behind me, and I threw a pen at him as I passed Stevenson’s desk.

  “You really want to stay down here, Simon?”

  “Um, who has recently been spending all his time down here?”