“Fifi.”

  “Really,” I lied, giving him a false smile that I was more than sure he wasn’t buying. “I’m not sure what you’re worried about,” I continued, feeling the sudden urge to flee. He was just so… intense… his gaze was so intense—the way he was shaking his head and folding his arms across his barrel chest was just so… intense. It was all I could do to keep my eyes level with his face, when all I wanted to do was hide. Well, the succubus wanted to do other things, but she didn’t matter at this point.

  “I know you know exactly what I’m talking about,” he answered as his jaw grew tight and his eyes narrowed. “I thought we’d dealt with this whole subject already.”

  “Dealt with what subject?” I demanded, starting to get irritated because this was one topic I didn’t want to discuss—it was just… personal and, more than that, it was embarrassing.

  “Poppy created that repelling potion for you and I thought it had solved your problems, but it appears you’re still denying yourself a basic need of your species.”

  “I don’t want to talk about it,” I answered snidely, folding my arms across my chest to match his own. Hopefully by giving him the same attitude he was currently giving me, we’d be at an impasse and he’d give up this interrogation.

  “I want to talk about it, because I’m your friend and I care about you.”

  I couldn’t meet his eyes. I was just suddenly flushing with embarrassment, with humiliation, anger and defensiveness. And his close proximity was doing all sorts of things to my inner succubus, things I didn’t want to think about—things that made the shame rising within me do so on fast-forward. If Roy knew the thoughts and saw the images going on in my head… if he knew how much the succubus wanted him… I was mortified at the thought.

  “What’s going on, Fifi?”

  “Nothing is going on,” I spat back immediately, but he shook his head and reaching down, tilted my chin so I was forced to look up at him. His touch sent a shiver down my entire body and I could feel myself leaning into him, needing to absorb more of him, wanting to satiate myself with him.

  “Don’t lie to me.”

  “I… I don’t… I don’t know what you want me to say.”

  “I want you to tell me the truth.”

  My eyes narrowed as a feeling of indignation soared through me—who did he think he was, trying to force this out of me? Why couldn’t he just deal with the fact that I didn’t want to talk about it? Why was he making it such a big deal? “This isn’t… your business, Roy.”

  He didn’t back down. He just continued standing there, staring at me with an expression that was hard to read. “It is my business because I’m making it my business.”

  “Well, don’t!” I yelled and his eyes widened in surprise at the same time mine did. This was the first time I’d ever raised my voice to him.

  He paused a few moments, as if trying to get his thoughts in order, and then he took a step closer, reaching out and placing both his hands on my bare arms. His touch was warm and I could feel myself pulling his energy through his fingers, taking it into me. And his life essence felt and tasted incredible. His animal magnetism sunk into me, filling me with a wild energy I suddenly craved. I wanted more… needed more.

  I stepped away from him, pulling out of his hold as I took a deep breath and felt light-headed. I had to get control of myself and I could only do that if I wasn’t standing so close to him. I shook my head as I glanced down at the floor, unable to meet his gaze. “You can’t… you can’t touch me… for a little… bit, Roy.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because,” I said, taking another step back as I focused on his eyes again, instantly regretting it. Demons below, but he was more handsome than I’d ever realized! How was it possible I’d never felt this… urge, this need towards him before?

  It has nothing to do with Roy and everything to do with the fact that he’s a man, I answered myself.

  “Because?” he repeated, reminding me I hadn’t responded.

  “I was pulling… your essence from you. I… I couldn’t help it.”

  “I don’t care.”

  I frowned, thrown off by his response. “But, it’s not… right.”

  “You obviously need it.”

  He took the steps that separated us again and my heart started to pound in my chest, making me feel even dizzier. “I’m not… in full control of myself,” I started, shaking my head as I tried to back away again.

  He reached out and gripped my arms, not allowing me to further retreat. “I can take it, Fifi.”

  “No,” I said, trying to break our connection. I was dangerously close to losing it completely, to throwing myself on him, and I desperately didn’t want that to happen. He didn’t understand what he was doing—he didn’t understand how close I was to losing all control. “Please,” I whispered.

  He dropped his hands and took a step back as I breathed out my relief. I didn’t want to, but I felt forced to look him in the eyes again. His were just so… raw… so full of feeling. It was almost too much to handle.

  “I care about you, Fifi, and I don’t want to see you hurting yourself.”

  “I’m okay,” I whispered.

  He shook his head. “You aren’t okay. Look what happened today… you could have seriously hurt yourself, blacking out like you did. As soon as I saw you, I could tell there was something wrong… you looked sick.”

  “I’m not… sick. I’m fine.”

  “Then why aren’t you feeding?”

  “Because…” I took another deep breath, followed by another. The need, the desire to touch him was becoming nearly impossible to subdue. “Because… I don’t want… to be what I am. I don’t want… to be a succubus.”

  “You have no choice about that. It’s what you are.”

  “I know but… that doesn’t mean I have to like it.” I could feel tears threatening my eyes. I took another few steps away from him, but he closed the distance immediately and I wanted to cry out at him to give me some space—to back up so I could catch my breath and will my heart to calm the hell down. He just… he was doing something to me—his proximity, his body, him.

  “You are what you are.”

  I nodded and swallowed hard, wanting to turn around and run back into the bedroom where I could hopefully lock the door, with him on the other side.

  “Well, I don’t like it! I don’t like anything about it.” I forced myself to pay attention to the conversation, to channel the emotions within me into the words coming out of my mouth.

  “Talk to me,” he said.

  “No,” I started but lost the rest of the words. He just… he didn’t understand that talking wasn’t going to help me. The only thing that was going to help me would require the two of us with our clothes off.

  Stop thinking like that, Fifi! I derided myself.

  “Fifi,” he insisted. It was obvious he wouldn’t let up until I explained.

  “I don’t like the fact,” I started, stalling to catch my breath. “…that I’m driven to steal the life force from others or… that I’m meant to use this power I’ve been given… to do nothing but bad things.”

  “You aren’t a bad person, Fifi.”

  “Only because I’m constantly fighting my own nature!” I nearly yelled again. I was flushed and had to take a few seconds to let the air fill my lungs again. All the while, I was still fighting the demoness inside me who regarded Roy as a grade A steak.

  “Then stop fighting it.”

  I shook my head emphatically. “I can’t stop fighting it or I’ll become… what I don’t want to become.”

  “You could never be anything other than you, Fifi.”

  I shook my head, frustration starting to get the better of me. Roy just didn’t get it! He didn’t understand! He was talking about something he absolutely knew nothing about. “Look at Angelo! He’s exactly what he’s supposed to be, and he’s awful!”

  “You aren’t your brother.” Roy took a deep breath and reached for me again. He took my hand this time and my body instantly responded by absorbing his energy, allowing it to sing through me as my own strength started to increase. I felt my eyes flutter closed and the surprise over how easily it was to feed from Roy occurred to me again.

  “Please, Roy…”

  “The point is… you can’t keep doing this to yourself,” he continued, completely ignoring the fact that I was anything but comfortable. “You have to accept what you are. You have to make peace with it.”

  “I can’t make peace with it because…” I opened my eyes. “Because I hate it!” I tried to drop his hand, but he wouldn’t allow me. He held it tight and gave me a knowing expression. He understood I was pulling his life essence, but he didn’t care. He was… offering himself.

  “I don’t think you’re looking at the situation the right way,” he answered, and I frowned because I wasn’t sure what he meant.

  “What other way is there to look at it?” I responded, my voice coming out winded—it wasn’t easy to speak and to soak in his life essence at the same time. Furthermore, all I wanted to do was taste his lips again, feel his energy flowing into me and savor it. “I am what I am, just like you said.”

  He gripped my hand even harder and then pulled me into the breadth of his chest as I gave a shocked gasp and felt like I was about to lose all control right then and there. I had to close my eyes and remind myself to breathe in deeply and breathe out just as deeply. All the while, I was fully aware of the warmth of his skin, of the way he was now holding my hand and his other hand was wrapped around my arm.

  “Look at me, Fifi.”

  I shook my head and kept my eyes shut tight. “I can’t…”

  “Open your eyes.”

  I shook my head again. “Roy, I’m… I can’t control… I’m going to lose…”

  “I don’t care,” he said and his voice took on a wild sort of growl I’d never heard before—it was as if his inner feral being was communicating with my own.

  “You don’t… know what you’re saying.”

  When he spoke again, his voice was soft, and it tickled my ear. “If you were able to find a man strong enough to survive your feedings, you wouldn’t have a problem with your nature.”

  “Right… but that’s… impossible.”

  “Look at me.” I forced my eyes open as he studied me and shook his head. “It isn’t impossible. It just means you have a smaller pool of men to choose from.”

  I laughed, but the sound was acidic and when I tried to yank myself away from him, he fought me, holding me captive, forcing me to stand still. “A smaller pool than the already hopeless pool I’ve already been swimming in.” I shook my head as the fire of desire within me started to turn into a fire of anger. “I’ve already come to terms with the fact that my love life is doomed. It always has been.”

  “So what’s the alternative?” he demanded, almost angrily, though I wasn’t sure why. “Just continue to deny your true nature until you lose it one day and do exactly what you’re scared you’re going to do? Drain someone to death?”

  “Roy,” I started, but he interrupted me.

  “The Fifi I know wouldn’t give up so easily. She is the most hopeful person I’ve ever met and when she sets her heart on something, she goes after it.”

  I didn’t want to hear any of this. Deep down, of course I knew what he was saying was true, but I didn’t want anything to do with it, all the same. Finding someone to date wasn’t easy for me. I couldn’t just go pick out some random guy on the street. I’d not fed properly for going on five years now and that meant my hunger was so immense that Roy was right, I’d likely kill whatever sorry man decided to get involved with me. A mundane wouldn’t have a chance, which meant the object of my affection was definitely off limits. Marty could never withstand my hunger. At this point, I’d likely even hurt any of my monster peers by feeding from them.

  All except Roy…

  But, Roy was off limits because he and Bea were the closest friends I had. And there was his relationship with Poppy to take into account. Regardless, I had to do something. I might have another month, at best, until things got really dire. In the meantime, I had a business to run and no time for blacking out during council meetings or client showings.

  Client showings…

  Darragh! I was supposed to go to the graveyard and make sure it was ready for my meeting with Darragh and Cranough tomorrow evening! And, yes, while I definitely still had plenty of time to do so, Roy didn’t need to know that. This was the perfect excuse to make my escape.

  “I have to go.” I tried again to break Roy’s hold but he wouldn’t release me. Even so, I refused to look at him and stared at the dancing flames of the fire instead. “I have… I have a meeting with an important client, Roy, and I don’t have time…”

  “Your client can wait. You’re in no shape to leave yet, Fifi. You haven’t fed enough—I can see it.”

  “He can’t wait. This is an important—” Yes, I was lying about the timeliness aspect to my meeting with Darragh but this was the only excuse I had to get away from Roy, so I was going with it.

  “Take what you need from me, Fifi,” he interrupted, his voice soft again and his eyes searching mine.

  “I… I can’t,” I answered and tried to pull away from him, but he held me so hard, I felt like I was in iron manacles. “I… have to go.”

  “You know as well as I do that you aren’t satisfied. You need more. So take it.”

  I inhaled deeply. “You don’t understand, Roy… I can’t.”

  He nodded. “You can.”

  “No.”

  “Take what I’m offering.”

  And that was when I lost the battle with the succubus.

  Chapter Eight

  I jumped up onto my toes, looped my hands around his neck, and pulled him down towards me as I snared his lips with my own. He made a surprised sort of sound, but as soon as my mouth touched his, he looped his arms around me and kissed me back.

  I lost myself in our embrace, forgetting everything but how he felt and tasted. It had been a long time since I’d been so close to a man I couldn’t harm, and now I allowed myself to just enjoy the feel of him, the taste of him. His energy was right there, on the tip of his tongue, mine for the taking. I let myself give in to that overwhelming urge, groaning as his taste flooded me.

  His energy felt wild. It was peppered with the feral beast of the sasquatch—unruly, beyond powerful and wise. A shiver ran through me as I soaked in his power, not holding back this time. I felt him shudder as I sucked his strength out through our joined lips and tongues, the invisible streams of power flowing from his body into mine. Neither of us could see it, but we could both feel it, even beyond the kiss.

  Everywhere our skin touched was a conduit between us, pulling his life force into my hungry body. I took only what I needed, but still much more than what I would have taken from a human. What I’d already drained from Roy would put any mortal down for the count. Yet, it barely made a dent in Roy’s energy store. Soon my dizziness and hunger pangs were things of the past and though I still wasn’t one hundred percent, I was considerably better. As to Roy, I suspected it would take a couple of days of marathon sex for him to feel even slightly exhausted from the energy loss.

  Marathon sex…

  The brief thought that I could pull him towards his bedroom so I could drain what I wanted from him briefly flitted through my mind. I could break this five years of misery. I could allow the succubus to come to the forefront—doing so wouldn’t hurt Roy. He was strong enough to withstand it.

  It was then that he pulled away and when he did, I realized there was an expression of shock in his eyes. I felt my heart plummet as the reality of what I’d just done and what I was contemplating doing hit me like an anvil. I’d let this go too far—way too far.

  I took a step back, the thought of seducing him bringing my mind back to full clarity and sending the hunger away for the time being. I took stock of myself and realized I was panting, flushed. I could blame the reactions all on my hunger, but I knew it was more than that. I wanted Roy—in that moment, I’d absolutely wanted him and even as I stood here, I still wanted him. And that realization bothered me… a lot. Yes, part of me felt as if I shouldn’t have been surprised—Roy was larger than life, kind, funny and so handsome. But, I’d never thought of him as anything other than a friend, until this very moment, a moment I now wished sorely had never happened.

  “I… I wasn’t expecting that,” he said with an apologetic smile.

  “I’m sorry! I was trying to warn you,” I started, feeling the sting of humiliation flooding me. “The succubus is getting more and more difficult to control. I didn’t… I didn’t mean to take advantage of our friendship and I...”

  “No,” he said, and held up a hand to silence me. “It’s okay, Fifi, it just took me… by surprise, that’s all. I figured you just needed to touch me to take my energy.”

  I nodded and suddenly felt like crying. More than that, I wanted to get out of his house pronto. I’d already made such a fool of myself.

  And to think I was probably seconds away from trying to lure him into his bedroom. I was out of control! Not to mention, there was still the issue of my friendship with Poppy and my feelings for Marty—feelings I was already starting to second guess.

  No, I told myself. You do have feelings for Marty, and those feelings have nothing to do with the succubus within you. She was just determined to feed, and it didn’t matter who from. And as to Poppy…

  “I don’t mean…” Roy started, interrupting my thoughts as he then shook his head, rubbing the back of his neck like he did when he was frustrated about something. “I hope I didn’t embarrass you?”

  He looked at me then and I felt like I was going to melt into a puddle on the floor. This whole thing wasn’t embarrassing—it was humiliating. “No,” I started.

  “It’s just… you and I are friends and we always have been,” he continued. “And I just got out of a relationship with Poppy and I’m…”

  “It’s okay, Roy.”

  “I’m not sure I’m completely over it yet, to be honest.”