After I anointed Fifi, Roy took my hand and pulled me aside.

  “If I’m up there with her, I’ll have to act the part, too. I’ll have to… you know…”

  I did my best to keep my reaction in check. Yes, this breakup was very recent and yes, it still stung like hell. But, we had a job to do and I couldn’t let my emotions get in the way. “Do whatever you have to do to convince her family it’s real.”

  “You won’t… get jealous?” He sounded hopeful.

  “I’ll try to be a grownup about it and remind myself Fifi’s safety is at risk.”

  He huffed, but he didn’t argue. “Just make sure Marty doesn’t crash my truck. That’s all I ask.”

  I nodded as he held out his arms and I dumped the mixture over his arms, chest, and back. When I finished, he raised his arm to his nose like Brandt. “It smells good.”

  “It’s supposed to.”

  Marty and Finn got into the truck and Finn hid in the back seat, just like I’d told him to. I climbed in next to him, and he gave me a smile.

  “I’m glad to be home,” he whispered as Marty fired up the truck and the men started cat-calling and whistling, others singing. We weren’t even in Haven Hollow yet, so I hoped they could keep up their energy.

  “Me too, buddy, me too.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Fifi hesitated when she saw all the mostly naked sasquatch guys piled on top of Roy’s truck. They packed the bed, hung from the sides, and stood on top of the hood. I couldn’t see the windshield. That was going to make driving interesting for Marty, to say the least.

  “I don’t know if I can go through with this,” she peeped.

  “You’ll be fine.” I took her hand and propelled her toward the vehicle. “Roy will be right next to you. As soon as we do this, you’ll be free.”

  She didn’t argue.

  When she got near the truck, the guys withdrew to make room for her. Roy emerged from the crowd and held out his hand to help her climb up. She took it. He lifted her onto the hood and immediately put his arms around her to shelter her from the rowdy bunch. She took off the overcoat and handed it to me.

  Of course, seeing them together hurt me. That was natural and I wasn’t surprised. As soon as I felt the pain, though, I just told myself it was meant to be.

  Yes, this, too, would pass.

  “You good, Pops?” Marty asked as he looked at me from over his shoulder, where he was sitting in the driver’s seat.

  “I’m good,” I said with a smile as he winked at me and then faced forward. He didn’t know Roy and I had broken up—unless Roy had told him, which I doubted was the case. Finn didn’t know either. I’d wait to tell him until we were home, when it was just the two of us.

  Either way, Marty had no idea how much his wink and his smile helped me.

  ***

  By the time we made it through Haven Hollow proper, everyone came out of the buildings to see what all the fuss was about. The sasquatch guys on the roof and in the bed of the truck yelled, cheered, play-wrestled, and made such a noise that the townspeople watched them with a look of shock. I knew because I popped my head up every now and then to take stock of what was happening. I wasn’t too concerned at being seen, owing to the fact that Roy’s windows were so tinted, they bordered on black.

  As she’d anticipated, Fifi’s family was most definitely awaiting her in town. At the ruckus, they appeared at the top of Main Street, each of them standing there, scowling at the sight of Fifi surrounded by her beaus. I was surprised to find they didn’t look at all happy to see her.

  Marty cruised in low gear to the far end of Main Street, turned around, and motored back. He drove extra slow, not only to make sure Fifi’s family saw us, but to ensure no one fell off and got flattened under the wheels.

  By the time we got back to the bar, Fifi’s relatives had followed the truck down the street and now stared with wide eyes as they stood in front of the Half-Moon. Marty parked right in front of them and the whole sasquatch party erupted like they’d just now comprehended the meaning of Spring Break.

  “Come on, Finn,” I whispered as we stole out of the back of the other side of the truck. There was such a crowd assembling on the sidewalk, I was sure none of Fifi’s family could see us. I took Finn’s hand and ran across the street, walking up to the next street before we crossed at the intersection, and then walked back down again.

  No one even spared us a sidelong glance. Which was just as well, because I wanted this to be about Fifi and her herd of men.

  “Mom, can I go to Sweeter Haunts and get some candy?” Finn asked.

  “Sure,” I answered—it was the best place for him because I didn’t want him to witness any more of the shenanigans than he already had. I’d had no choice but to include him in all the preparations, but now that everything was unfolding, it was good if he didn’t witness the rest of it.

  That was when I realized I didn’t have any money on me. Good thing the owner of Sweeter Haunts was a customer of mine. “Just tell them to put it on my tab,” I said to Finn, who nodded and went on his happy way.

  When I looked up at the scene on the hood of the truck, the sasquatch guys yelled and roared. Several had their arms around Fifi, and one or two tried to lift her down to the sidewalk, but Roy staunchly refused to let go of her.

  She, meanwhile, undulated her curvy body against them, but the townspeople didn’t seem all that interested. The beauty was that their disinterest in Fifi was hidden by their interest in the circus performing right in front of them. As far as Fifi’s family would think, everyone was still out of their minds over Fifi.

  One by one, the guys hopped off the truck and charged into the restaurant. They caused such a ruckus, more than a few of the people on the sidewalk followed them in. Fifi’s family rushed after them, too, but they couldn’t get near Fifi with all the giant sasquatch packed around her.

  Everything was working out exactly as I’d hoped, and I was proud of myself.

  More people arrived all the time. They bumped into me, forcing their way inside as the celebration raged to such a pitch, I couldn’t get near the bar—not that I wanted to. Instead, I watched from a safe distance.

  This had to be the most outlandish thing I’d ever come up with, but it appeared to be working. And working a thousand times better than I’d dared to dream. No, it wasn’t easy. I caught glimpses of Roy among the sasquatch guys, with his arm slung protectively around Fifi. He was doing exactly what he was supposed to do and I was more than sure I never once crossed his mind.

  And that’s okay, I reminded myself. Because it’s the way it’s supposed to be.

  Fifi’s family, led by Angelo, waded into the throng and instinctively people retreated away from them. An older man, with a dusting of grey in his hair and a Chris Hemsworth physique, sidestepped Angelo and yanked two of the sasquatches out of the way, but nothing cooled their frenzy.

  The older man, who was Fifi’s father, I decided, owing to his likeness to Angelo, made his way to Roy and tugged him aside, to reveal Fifi in all her glory. Angelo was right behind him, wearing his disbelief on his face while he crossed his arms against his chest. If there was one person who was going to ruin this charade, he was that one person.

  One of Fifi’s flimsy dress straps sagged off her shoulder so that her buxom chest threatened to spill all over the place. Her scattered hair whipped against her flushed cheeks as she giggled at all the men surrounding her.

  “What the hell is going on here?” the older man thundered.

  “Daddy!” Fifi panted in a gasp. “You’re just in time for the reception!”

  “Reception!” her father bellowed. “Who do you think you’re marrying?”

  “All of them!” Fifi grabbed the first guy she could get hold of, which just happened to be Roy. The rest of the sasquatches might have been out of their senses on sex hormones, but they weren’t interested in her. They were just wild for… something—excitement. And it made sense, seeing as how most of them had never left the colony before. Roy, on the other hand, stayed glued to Fifi’s side through it all.

  She hooked her arm around his neck and hauled him down into a passionate kiss while everyone watched and cheered. I felt my heart drop as I watched Roy react by kissing her back, just as hard. Both his hands circled her waist and I felt like I stopped breathing for a few seconds.

  Because it was suddenly so obvious.

  Anyone with a brain could see Roy wasn’t acting. When he pulled away from Fifi’s kiss, he looked into her eyes with a ferocious, smoldering expression of insatiable desire. He wanted her and that didn’t have anything to do with her pheromones because he was immune to them.

  The crowd erupted in louder cheers, but I couldn’t stomach any more of it. I’d orchestrated the whole spectacle for her family’s benefit, and their expressions told me it had worked. Still, watching Roy and Fifi hurt worse than I’d imagined.

  For the first time since I’d met Roy, I didn’t hate myself for feeling jealous… of both of them. I’d broken up with him, yes, but I still… loved him? Did I love him? Actually, I wasn’t sure. Maybe I did? But, maybe I didn’t. Either way, I’d done something incredibly difficult in breaking up with him, and I’d done it to make him happy—to make us both happy. Eventually, anyway.

  I started to turn away when Fifi’s voice drew my attention back to the bar. “You see, Daddy? This is my new harem. Do you like them?”

  I looked over to see her still rubbing against Roy like a cat in heat while she raked her fingers through Brandt’s hair. She removed her hand from his head to trail her fingertips over another man’s chest.

  Her father gaped at her in shock. “You’re… marrying all of them?”

  “Of course! After I took refuge in their colony, they were fighting too much over who would have me, so this seemed like the most obvious solution. Now everyone’s happy… but me most of all!” She darted out her hand again and grabbed one of the guys by the butt. She gave it a playful squeeze. When he looked over at her, she dipped her eyelids and let out a seductress laugh.

  One of Fifi’s female relatives murmured something in her father’s ear and he nodded. “We came here because Angelo said your health was suffering because you weren’t feeding.”

  She waved away his concern and continued to giggle at the men around her. “Does it look like my health is suffering or that I’m not feeding?” she demanded. “Angelo is just mad because I’m taking over the realty office and he’s jealous.”

  “That’s not true!” Angelo tried to defend himself, but his voice was lost in the ruckus all around him. Fifi, meanwhile, clung even more hungrily to Roy as she looked at her father again. “I’m sorry Angelo got you involved, but there was never any reason to worry.”

  She laughed again, and her father rounded on Angelo.

  “What’s the meaning of this? You said she was in danger.”

  “She was in danger!” Angelo fired back.

  “You didn’t believe what Angelo said about me, did you, Daddy?” Fifi minced as she shook her head. “He was never worried about my health.” Then her eyes narrowed as she looked at her brother and her voice lost its girlish charm. “He just got upset because I wouldn’t let him use his power to feed on his clients at the real estate agency. Isn’t that right, Angelo? You tried to kidnap me to get me out of the picture.”

  Her father’s eyes blazed, but now he directed his anger toward his son. “You lied to me—to all of us!”

  Angelo wilted, and all his charm dissolved. “It wasn’t like that. I just….”

  His father didn’t listen. Instead, he gave Angelo an expression of pure anger, turned on his heel, and left. Angelo followed him, decrying his innocence all the while. As far as I could tell, though, his father wasn’t listening.

  Once they left, Fifi slumped against Roy again and breathed out a sigh of relief. He gave her one of his winning smiles and told her everything was going to be okay.

  And I’d had enough.

  I’d had enough of jealousy, of the pain of relationships not working out.

  I’d had enough of Roy and I’d had enough of Fifi.

  I’d had enough of… everything.

  I turned around and walked out as Fifi’s family barreled past me onto the sidewalk. Her father was yelling at Angelo, who stopped in front of his sports car. The older man snarled to his son and pointed up the street. Then Angelo got into his car and everyone else piled into a Cadillac parked nearby.

  They drove away.

  “It looks like you could use some ice cream, Pops,” Marty said, as I turned around to find him standing there. He put his arm around me and I leaned into him, suddenly wanting to cry.

  “You have no idea how good that sounds right now.”

  ***

  After collecting Finn from Sweeter Haunts and finishing two scoops of ice cream from Stomper’s Creamery, Marty, Finn and I found ourselves standing on the sidewalk, out front of the Half-Moon again. I cast one last glance into the restaurant. More people than ever packed the bar. No one even tried to eat at the tables.

  I spotted Roy extricating himself from Fifi’s embrace. He said something to her, and his big hands still rested on her curvy hips. For a second, they existed alone and untouched by everyone else. They could have been a thousand miles away for all the notice they took of anyone or anyone took of them.

  There was hope for the two of them.

  I knew I’d made the right decision. Fifi and Roy… they were made for each other. I knew that now.

  And now… now I just wanted to be alone—well, with Finn.

  I said my goodbyes to Marty and thanked him for the ice cream. Then I took Finn’s hand at the same time that I remembered the Jeep was still in Timbuktu, where Roy and I had left it, when we’d taken his truck all the way to the Sasquatch colony.

  I’d have to ask Marty to give me a ride to the Jeep tomorrow—not a small favor to ask, considering it was parked pretty far away. Oh, well, I’d worry about that later.

  For now, Finn and I had a bit of a walk to get home, but it was one I actually wanted to take—especially now that I was wearing Cora’s sneakers and my ballet flats were sitting in the trash, where they belonged.

  It was maybe a mile or so from downtown Haven Hollow to our house. I hurried down the sidewalk, holding Finn’s hand and he looked up, giving me a big smile. We passed my store and kept on walking. That was when a squad car skidded around the corner and veered into the curb. Police Chief Cain Morgan, Marty’s cousin, slouched out from behind the steering wheel.

  It was the first time I’d seen him since our last debacle had left him bedridden and suffering memory loss. Now it appeared he was fully healed and back on the streets.

  He swaggered over to me, jamming his thumbs into his leather belt like a real Old West Sheriff.

  “Poppy Morton, do you mind telling me what in the Sam Hill is going on around this town?”

  I snickered. “You did NOT just use the term Sam Hill in a sentence.”

  “I just did.”

  “Might I remind you, Chief, this is the twenty-first century, and we aren’t in Tombstone, Arizona.”

  “And might I remind you that I’d like to know what is going on?” He looked at Finn then and added: “Son, why don’t you spend a few minutes in the candy store while I talk with your mom. Tell them to put it on my tab.”

  Finn looked from the officer to me. “Mom, can I get more candy?”

  I took a deep breath before nodding. Chief Morgan hadn’t really left me much of an alternative. When Finn walked away, I looked up at the officer again. “Why do you think I have an answer for you?”

  He dodged in front of me. “Because I saw you with Roy Osbourne in that truck of his, heading out of town like a bat out of hell, while all sorts of cars and people blocked the streets. If you cooperate by explaining what in the heck was going on, I might be willing to let you and your friends off light.”

  “What friends are those?”

  He jerked his thumb toward the Half-Moon. “All those strangers in there making a lewd and indecent display. I’ve half a mind to call backup on them.”

  I glanced toward the bar. I wouldn’t want him running in several dozen sasquatches who’d never set foot in modern civilization before today, especially since I was the one who put them up to this in the first place.

  I drew in a shaky breath. “It’s nothing serious, Chief. It’s just a bunch of kids enjoying a momentous occasion since they all got engaged.”

  “Right,” he said, spearing me with a raised-brow expression. “To one woman.”

  I held up my hands. “Hey, I’m not here to judge.” Then I breathed out a nervous sigh. “I’m sure they’ll have a few drinks and a few baskets of onion rings at the bar. Then they’ll put their clothes back on and go home. Roy Osbourne is keeping an eye on them. He won’t let them cause any damage to anyone’s property.”

  Chief Morgan’s eyebrows shot up. He rubbed his stubbly chin. “Well, he is the best man for the job. If he can’t keep a rowdy bunch of kids in line, no one can.”

  “Leave it to him, Chief. It’s his bar. If they’re going to wreck anything, they’ll start on the bar first and he can shut them down before they try anything more serious. They’re country boys and they’re excited about coming to town. You remember what it was like to be young, don’t you, Cain?”

  I gave him my best moist-eyed smile, and he furrowed his brow even more. “I suppose I do.” He bit back a grin. “I guess I broke a few windows and took down a few mailboxes in my time.”

  I started to go on my merry way, but he stopped me again. “Now tell me what the devil you were doing with all those cars out on the highway. When I stopped the mob, not one of those fools could explain what made ‘em try to leave town. In fact, most of ‘em seemed like they were having trouble remembering the last hour or so. Some were stupid out of their minds. They couldn’t think of anything but getting through the Police line to follow you. Now explain that to me.”

  Yes, Poppy. Explain that.

  What was I supposed to say to him—that Fifi Stenham, the waitress from the Half-Moon bar, was a demon with an unnatural influence over the sexual energies of the opposite sex? Or that her brother splashed her with a magic love potion that sparked the stampede? Or that she was destined to be mated to a sasquatch?