He nodded and then glanced down at our hands as if he was only now noticing them. “I just couldn’t stay in Haven Hollow when I realized you were meant to marry someone else,” he continued, his voice deep and small. He inhaled deeply and shook his head as his eyes met mine again. His appeared even sadder than they had before. “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to upset you…” he continued as he, no doubt, saw the sheen of tears reflecting in my eyes. “I just… perhaps I just needed to get this off my chest. Even if it is too late.” He smiled at me then and I was sure the smile I gave him in return was just as sad. “I wish I had told you how I felt all those years ago.”

  I managed to force my voice out past the tightness of my throat. It came out thin and a little wobbly. “I wish you had, too.”

  Then, in a motion that seemed completely out of sync, he pushed aside his half-finished coffee, clearing his throat as he stood up from the table. It was almost as if the chair or my hand had bitten him. He gave me a strange expression before checking the clock on the wall. “I’ve kept you long enough, Poppy,” he said with a laugh that I was more than sure he couldn’t feel. “I know you have to get to the station. I do hope you will give my best to Finn?”

  “Yes, yes of course,” I answered as I glanced up at the clock and was amazed to see that an hour had gone by. It had felt more like fifteen minutes. I stood as well and watched Andre pause after he’d pulled his coat and scarf back on, his hands tucked into his pockets.

  “I am so pleased I was able to run into you today, Poppy.”

  I felt like I was going to lose the battle with my tears and just managed to nod as I said, “Me too.”

  “Well, goodbye, Poppy. It was really lovely to see you.” He managed a small smile, just a slight curve at the corners of his lips. “And Happy Christmas.”

  Before I could come up with any kind of reply, he was gone.

  Chapter Six

  I sat at the bakery table for a long time after Andre left.

  My coffee was cold as people came and went, laughing, chatting, and stomping their feet against the cold outside.

  I barely noticed them.

  Instead, I stared at my left hand, at the place where my wedding rings were supposed to be. Strangely, ever since I’d taken them off, that feeling of frosty coldness had disappeared. And even more strangely, Andre hadn’t remarked about their absence—especially when he’d been holding that hand so he must have noticed…

  He was probably just too polite to comment.

  Thoughts about my rings and Andre not noticing them then led to thoughts about Marty and our marriage and I could feel that cloud of doubt pressing down on me—just the same as it had been from the moment Marty had popped the question at my Thanksgiving table.

  I didn’t know what to do.

  I loved Marty; I knew I did.

  But I also knew I wasn’t in love with him.

  And with this little trip into the future, it was pretty apparent those feelings or lack thereof wouldn’t change. Oh, sure, we were comfortable together, we always had been. And it appeared that we’d settled in together like a house sinking into its foundation.

  But there was no spark, no romance.

  We might be partners and the best of friends, but we didn’t feel like a couple.

  Marty was definitely the safe choice. The life I saw laid out in front of me was a good one, even. Companionable. Comfortable. Fun. That was more than a lot of people had. But, I wondered as I stared unhappily down at the table, was I content with that? Was companionable, comfortable, and fun… was that enough for me?

  Thinking back to the love potions in my store, I had a sneaking suspicion regarding why future me was having such a hard time brewing them. Love and intimacy potions required passion, and you couldn’t put into magic what you, yourself, didn’t feel. That could only mean one thing—that marrying Marty would equate to a lack of passion—a lack of desire in my life. Did I want to sign up for that?

  When Andre had blown into Haven Hollow, he’d seemed like an impossible dream. A Magician who traveled the country, helping people, saving them really, bringing hope to the hopeless. It was all very exciting, but I wasn’t twenty. I was a forty-something mom, and Finn and I were settled in Haven Hollow—we were happy there, building a life together. And even if Andre did have feelings for me, he still wasn’t a safe bet—he didn’t even have a solid home, for Pete’s sake!

  But I still couldn’t help the feelings I had for him.

  It was somehow better and worse at the same time, knowing that he’d always felt the same way.

  And while it certainly seemed like things might have worked out differently, if Andre and I had ever actually had a conversation about how we felt about each other, there was still no guarantee that such a conversation would have actually changed anything. Even if we’d both confessed what was truly in our hearts, there was no assurance that we’d have ended up together. Or that Andre wouldn’t have packed up and left the Hollow for whatever reason.

  Fate was funny like that. Fickle. You might see your path ahead, and think you were headed down a certain road, only to end up in a totally different place, all the while wondering—how in the world did I end up here?

  All told, Marty was always the safer choice. He was still the safer choice.

  We’d built a home together, shared our lives and, from what I could tell, we were happy or happy enough.

  Was that what I wanted, though? Was ‘happy enough’ going to sustain me for the rest of my life?

  The thought kept nagging at me, nipping at my heels like a badly trained dog. I finally grabbed my coat and left that bakery in the center of downtown Portland, completely forgetting my cookies. I only realized as much once I was halfway down the block and then I was too embarrassed to turn back for them—or maybe I just didn’t want to return to the scene where I’d realized the choices I’d made weren’t necessarily the ones I should have...

  I just needed to walk, to clear my head.

  My wandering eventually brought me to a city park that was across from the bus station. Finn’s bus still wasn’t due to arrive for another hour but I figured I could busy myself by watching children and their parents ice skating in an impromptu ice rink that had been set up over a frozen pond. The space was crowded with families, people drinking hot chocolate while Christmas carols belted out from the tinny speakers.

  I settled down on one of the park benches so I could watch the people skating by. The wood was cold underneath me, and I kept my hands tucked into my pockets to keep them warm. It was adorable to watch all the little kids skating in their brightly colored snowsuits. The littlest ones looked like starfish, their puffy jackets holding their arms and legs out to the side. Some teens streaked by, kicking up a wave of frost in their wake, while an older couple, their gray heads bent together, glided by serenely.

  My eyes caught on a couple with a small boy, his blond curls just barely peeking out from below his wool hat. They each held one of his hands as he slowly, determinedly, inched his way around the pond. His little tongue poked out in concentration as he shuffled his feet forward. Of course, the child reminded me of Finn at that age—they both had the same white-blond hair and pink cheeks.

  From the wide smiles on their faces, both parents were encouraging him as he picked his way forward. While I watched, they shared a glance over their son’s head, and the father leaned forward to steal a quick kiss from his wife.

  I turned away, a little pang running through my chest.

  How different my life had turned out. When you’re a little girl, you think Prince Charming will come riding up on his white steed to take you away to your own Happily Ever After. But then in adulthood, you come to realize that all of that is just a pipe dream.

  Only if you marry the wrong man.

  The thought interjected itself into my brain like the blade of a knife and even though the voice was my own, it still felt foreign.

  I breathed in deeply and forced myself to pay attention to the scene around me—I just couldn’t face my own thoughts at the moment. Across the way, a young woman was sitting on a bench like mine and looked like she was having an even worse day than I was. She was huddled into her coat, obviously miserable, and I was pretty sure the red in her nose and cheeks was from crying, not just the nipping cold.

  My mom instincts raised their head as I wondered what in the world could have happened that would have made this young woman so upset. No one should be alone on a park bench crying on Christmas Eve. Was she okay? Did she need help? I was getting ready to stand, to try and come up with some excuse to walk over and check on her, when a young man walked up to her and sat down beside her.

  It took a minute for the girl to even notice he was there, and then she seemed a little embarrassed that someone was witnessing her sadness, but the young man just smiled and struck up what looked like a casual conversation with her and pretty soon she was smiling and a second later, a laugh bubbled up and out of her.

  I was still debating walking over to make sure everything was okay, but something held me in place on my bench. I couldn’t hear what they were talking about since they were too far away, and the sounds of the people skating were too loud. But as I watched, some life crept back into the girl’s face. After a few minutes, the young man actually had her laughing out loud.

  She’d just looked so unhappy, huddled there in her misery, that the quick turnaround caused my eyes to narrow in suspicion. Especially since it had felt a lot like the two of them were strangers when the young man had first sat down. Watching them now, I started paying closer attention, and as I focused on the pair, I could actually see what was happening.

  There were little glimmers of magic working around the young man as he spoke to the girl, unpicking the shadows that hung over her like a shroud. With every word he spoke, she looked a little lighter, a little brighter, less dragged down by whatever was bothering her.

  The magic wasn’t a type I was familiar with, but just watching the young man work brought a smile to my face. What kind of supernatural was he, to stop and help a stranger feel better on Christmas Eve?

  It wasn’t that supernatural folk were bad people who wouldn’t do a thing like this, but they tended to be pretty insular. They stuck to their own groups, or to the Hollows, and tended to mind their own business so as not to draw too much attention to themselves, and here was this young man who was weaving his magic right out in the open, though to be fair, no mundanes would be able to spot it. I was fairly sure I was the only one who really knew what was going on.

  The magic was clearer to me when I didn’t look directly at it, so I took darting glances out of the corner of my eye, trying to place where I might have seen it before. The young man wasn’t a warlock, that kind of magic was pretty darn familiar to me after joining Wanda’s coven.

  He wasn’t Fae, either. I’d had far too much exposure to faerie magic in recent months to not be able to identify it. So what was he? It was a mystery.

  Whatever he was though, the young man’s power was strong. He had a light touch, but I could feel the effervescence of his abilities against my senses, like some of my fizzier potions.

  After another minute or so, he said his goodbyes to the young woman on the bench and stood. With his chin tucked down into the collar of his coat, he picked his way through the park, heading in my direction. His head down and his hands in his pockets, I couldn’t see much of him other than the blond hair tossed around his face by the wind.

  It wasn’t until he drew closer and lifted his head to smile at me that I recognized him. And then I sucked in a sharp breath, tears pressing against the corners of my eyes as my heart kicked into overdrive, so full I felt like it might actually burst.

  He smiled at me, wide, beloved, and so, so familiar.

  Finn.

  My son, all grown up and fully come into his power. The magic of a full-blown Magician hung over him like a cloak, brightening the day around him, just as he’d brightened that young woman’s day.

  “Hi, Mom, I ended up getting an earlier bus—I hope you weren’t waiting long,” he said, in a voice deeper than I’d ever heard before. “I texted you but never heard back… anyway… Merry Christmas!” Then he threw his arms around me and it was all I could do to keep my tears in check.

  ***

  I spent the car ride back trying to play it cool, which wasn’t my strong suit. Fortunately, Finn was used to how I was, so even if he didn’t know about the whole ‘five years into the future’ deal going on, he wasn’t put off by the million and one questions I threw at him.

  It was so strange, to see my son all grown up. He seemed so mature, such an adult, even at eighteen which was still barely more than a kid. Finn radiated a kind of calm happiness, yet I could still see little flashes of the boy I knew so well. I could still see the boy in the way he smiled, the way he laughed, how he turned to watch things out the window, all of it made my heart ache, but there was a sweetness to it, too—a sweetness to knowing just how wonderful Finn would turn out.

  It was nice, having Finn all to myself, even if it was just for the car ride. I got to hear about his school, what classes he was taking, how he was enjoying it, and what he’d been up to. It had been eye-opening to see him in action with the young woman at the park, too. Not only was it clear that my son was still the kind-hearted, compassionate person he’d always been, but it was also a relief to see him so comfortable with his own power and abilities.

  Part of the reason I’d dug my heels in so hard regarding Finn learning magic, was because every time he helped someone, he seemed to lose a piece of himself in the process. It was almost like the magic ended up draining him. Magic could be dangerous. I knew that better than most.

  Ever since we’d moved to the Hollow, I’d been chased, attacked, and even landed in the hospital a couple of times. Finn himself had been haunted, abducted, and terrified by a mad vampire. I was happy to teach him magic as a way to defend himself, but I was afraid at the same time.

  But there was no sign of any weakness or exhaustion in him now as he sat there beside me, chatting and laughing. He sat easily in his seat, just happy to be home for the holidays.

  We were about halfway to Haven Hollow when, from the backseat, Finn’s bag wriggled. I jumped and fought not to jerk the wheel. “What in the world?”

  “Oh, sorry.” Finn twisted in his seat, reaching back to undo the zipper on his bag. “I told Ouire he could come out once we were in the car and on the way.”

  Ouire then wriggled free and squirmed into the front seat with Finn. I had to laugh. The way the book placed the corners of his leather cover on the door, the red ribbon bookmark wagging furiously behind him, Ouire looked like a dog ready to stick his head out the car window.

  The book looked well cared for, the gilded edges of his pages gleaming in the sunlight. The leather of his cover looked like Finn might have actually oiled it.

  Finn stroked a hand down the book’s spine. “Sorry, buddy. I didn’t mean to leave you in there so long.”

  Ouire didn’t seem offended, just excited to peek out the widows and sit on Finn’s lap. I hoped no one we drove past glanced over to look into the Jeep, because there was no way to explain the book. But I wasn’t concerned enough to order the poor book back into Finn’s duffel. Truth be told, I was glad Ouire was still a part of Finn’s life.

  And, of course, seeing Ouire made me think back to my meeting with Andre. My heart gave a painful twinge, but I pushed the feeling away. I couldn’t think about that meeting now. I wasn’t sure how much more time I had in this scenario (and hoped upon hope I wasn’t stuck here indefinitely, but I had a feeling I wouldn’t be—that this little trip into the future was the exact gift Noelle said it would be—a gift to allow me to make a decision in my own time that would affect the rest of my life).

  And that was something I could think about later. For now, Finn was growing up before my eyes, present or future, and any time I got to spend with him was precious. I didn’t want to waste any of it worrying about other things.

  Because the truth was that none of it mattered. All that did matter was right here and right now. The rest… well, the rest I could figure out later.

  Chapter Seven

  Somehow, I remembered to pick up eggs once we reached Haven Hollow, and Finn, who at six-foot-three now towered over me, carried the grocery bag inside for me.

  He whistled for Ouire, who was bounding around in the snow as Finn shouldered the door open. “Hey, come on, buddy. Don’t get your pages wet.”

  I had to laugh, watching the book shake itself and race into the house like an excited puppy.

  I closed the door behind us and started peeling off my winter layers as Finn set his duffle bag down.

  Marty came out of the kitchen then, wiping his hands on a dish towel. His face split into a wide grin, eyes crinkling up as soon as he saw Finn. Then the two were crossing the distance that separated them and hugging one another.

  “Finn!” Marty all but sang. “I can’t wait to hear all your college stories! You got a girlfriend yet?”

  “Not yet,” Finn managed with a shy smile as Marty thunked him on the back and then directed him to the kitchen.

  “It’s just a matter of time with a mug like that! Hey, you’re just in time for my world-famous eggnog!”

  “I thought that’s why I was picking up eggs?” I called out as Finn gave me a look that said he disliked Marty’s ‘world-famous eggnog’ as much as I did.

  “Nah, I just used the ones you had in the fridge so it’s a good thing you got more!”

  In spite of everything, all my doubts and worries, seeing Marty with his arm slung around Finn’s shoulder as they headed into the kitchen, brought a warmth to my chest like summer sunlight.

  Even so, I still couldn’t help but feel like something was missing.

  ***

  It was a wonderful night, with far too much food and movies and cuddling under the blankets. We watched all our holiday favorites, and Marty and Finn ganged up on me until I finally relented and we watched Die Hard.