All the while, I pushed away my doubts, but they kept creeping back in—seemingly whenever my mind wasn’t focused on something else. It was like the shadows in the corners of your bedroom as a kid—just waiting to make themselves known when you’re not paying attention.

  Even though I loved watching Finn with Marty and witnessing the incredible man my son had become, there was still a strange hollowness to my joy, aching and empty like a missing tooth I just couldn’t stop prodding with my tongue.

  Eventually we all turned in, Finn to his old room and Marty and me to ours. Marty fell asleep almost instantly, the bed trembling with the sound of his snores. It was only then that I realized I still wasn’t wearing my rings—they were out in the center consul of the Jeep.

  I lay awake for a long time, staring at the familiar ceiling of my room. I just couldn’t get my mind to quiet, my thoughts racing around inside my head like a dog chasing its own tail. Something close to dread built inside my chest, weighing down my lungs and making it hard to breathe.

  Lying there in the dark, watching the red numbers on my alarm clock ticking over was almost unbearable. It wasn’t until they flipped to midnight, Christmas Day, that my eyelids finally slid closed and I fell into a fitful sleep.

  When I opened my eyes again, it was morning.

  The first faint traces of dawn outside were sneaking through my curtains and painting the ceiling with soft gray light. Everything was still, and quiet. It was the kind of hush that only winter mornings have, when the snow outside muffles the whole world.

  The quiet tipped me off, but I craned my neck to the side just to check. Sure enough, the other side of my bed was empty, with no sign of Marty anywhere. The sheets on that side were cool to the touch, and I sagged back against the bed with something that was a little too close to relief.

  “What a dream,” I said to myself even as I shook my head and wondered if it really was a dream. It just… well, if it was just a dream then it was the most realistic dream I’d ever had.

  When I shifted my head, something crinkled in my hair, and I sat up in surprise. Whatever it was had slipped between the pillows, and it took me a minute to fish it back out again in the pre-dawn light.

  But once I did fish it out, I had to smile. It was a candy cane, one of those from Sweeter Haunts, all wrapped up with a red satin ribbon tied into a perfect bow. A little gift card hung off the ribbon, and when I twisted it around and squinted at it, I could make out the words ‘To Poppy, Merry Christmas’ written on it in beautiful calligraphy.

  Even though there was no mention of the gift giver, I knew.

  Noelle.

  I fell back onto my pillows, the candy cane clutched to my chest.

  Then, thinking better of it, I bolted upright and ran over to the mirror hanging on the wall. And what I saw there made me smile—no extra wrinkles or extra grays in sight. I sagged against the wall, my forehead pressed against the cool glass.

  Glancing down at the candy cane in my hand, I could only laugh as I pieced together the puzzle—that had been no dream. I’d been visited by the Spirit of Christmas and granted a vision into a possible future. I was fairly sure that’s exactly what had happened and I couldn’t say I was that surprised. This was Haven Hollow, after all—a place where the extraordinary was commonplace.

  So now the question was: was the life I’d just witnessed—the future that lay before me if I chose to stay with Marty—was it the life I wanted? It was a good life, comfortable and affectionate even, but I hadn’t grown to love Marty passionately and truthfully, I couldn’t say that he seemed all that passionately in love with me, either. Instead, it had appeared like we’d just sort of plateaued.

  So I had to wonder: how much did passion mean to me? How important was it to be in love with someone versus just loving them? And what about passion fading?

  No.

  The word just sort of shotgunned through my head.

  No.

  No. No. No.

  NO!

  I couldn’t marry Marty.

  The truth just sort of beat me over the head as I stood standing there in front of my bedroom mirror, candy cane clutched to my chest.

  Whether I’d had a Christmas wish granted or not, the answer was obvious.

  It didn’t matter if it faded; it didn’t matter if it wasn’t the safe choice: I wanted passion.

  I wanted sparks, and romance and butterflies every time I thought of the man I loved.

  And that wasn’t going to happen if I continued down the road I was currently on. More than that—this indecision and reluctance and fear—none of it was fair to Marty.

  He deserved more. He deserved someone who was crazy about him, who was eager and excited by the idea of marrying him.

  And I just couldn’t give him that.

  I had to break it off. It was as simple as that.

  And the sooner the better.

  Of course, I didn’t like to think about it because breaking it off meant breaking Marty’s heart and he was the last person I would ever want to hurt. But I also didn’t want to lead him on and make him think I loved him the way he wanted me to. That was worse.

  No, the Band-Aid needed to be yanked off so the healing could start.

  And with some luck, and maybe a Christmas miracle or two, we’d be able to get back to where we were before all the other stuff started happening. Hopefully someday we could be friends again, just the way we had been when I’d first moved to Haven Hollow.

  It might have been selfish of me, but I didn’t want to lose one of my best friends.

  Feeling both guilty, and strangely light, I made my way quietly down the stairs to put on a pot of coffee and to start pulling Christmas breakfast together.

  I’d just finished mixing up the pancake batter, when there was the sound of feet on the stairs, and Finn burst into the kitchen, grinning widely.

  “Merry Christmas, Mom!” He hurried across the kitchen and flung his arms around me.

  A little startled, I shoved the bowl back onto the counter before I dropped it, and then happily returned the hug.

  I smoothed Finn’s hair off his forehead, and pulled him away as I beamed up at him. Looking into his big, blue eyes, I saw a glimpse of the man he’d become even if the soft, rounded lines of his face seemed to belie that truth. Even as I fought against them, tears burned at the corners of my eyes, and I had to blink a few times to push them back.

  Time was passing.

  Finn was growing up, getting older with each and every day.

  But for now, for this moment, I had my son in my arms, and that was the best sort of present.

  I planted a kiss on his forehead, and he didn’t even grumble.

  “Merry Christmas, Finn.”

  ***

  After all the madness of Christmas morning, once presents were opened, breakfast was eaten, and things were at least partially cleaned up, Finn offhandedly mentioned that some of his friends from school were planning on doing some tobogganing at one of the bigger hills in town. I could tell by the overly casual way he brought the topic up that he was gauging how I felt about it before outright asking. I had to press my lips together to keep from smiling.

  “Do you want to go with them?”

  “Is that okay?”

  “Sure… as long as you’re back before dinner.”

  Finn’s head shot up, his eyes shining. “Really?”

  I did smile then. ‘Really’, he was asking me. As though he hadn’t been a walking lie detector since he was just out of diapers. My son might have been growing into being a Magician, but he was born of Scottish Traveller blood, and that magic had come to him first.

  “Of course,” I said, flattening one last box. “Have fun, and be careful. Just be home before dark. Don’t forget, your uncles are coming for dinner.”

  “Yes! Thanks, Mom, you’re the best.” Finn gave me another hug before hurrying to put his coat on.

  Normally, we spent the whole of Christmas day together. But holding Finn back wouldn’t help anything—especially when he obviously wanted to play in the snow with his friends. Part of me wanted to make him stay home though, like I could hoard the time I still had while he was young.

  But truthfully, letting Finn go out with his friends was a teeny bit selfish. Because I just needed a little space to clear my mind. It had been really stressful, spending the morning with Marty while coming to terms with what I knew I had to do. Lucky for me, Finn was distracted by everything holiday related and wasn’t paying close attention to Marty and me. That would have been a horrible time for his lie detecting ability to kick in, before I’d had a chance to even speak with Marty. Or with Finn. I didn’t want to hurt anyone, but whether it was Christmas magic, or my own subconscious, I knew a future with Marty wouldn’t make me happy.

  So once Finn was out the door, calling out one last promise not to be late, and after I had the turkey in the oven, I decided to go for a walk to clear my head.

  Chapter Eight

  It was the perfect Christmas day, with a gentle snow falling from fluffy silver clouds in the pale sky. Everything was quiet and still, almost serene. I walked aimlessly, just breathing deeply of the chilly air, and letting my thoughts wander along with my feet.

  Haven Hollow was a small town, so I wasn’t worried about getting lost. And, eventually, I’d have to go back to the house to baste the turkey, but for right now, I really needed the chance to think.

  I knew ending things with Marty was the right thing to do. Not just for me, but for him. I wanted both of us to be happy, not just content. That didn’t make the decision one bit easier, though. I really hated hurting people’s feelings and especially the people who were closest to me.

  Eventually, I wandered down the street that Fifi lived on. Just as I was rounding the corner, Fifi’s front door opened and she and Roy stepped out.

  Then Fifi caught sight of me. “Merry Christmas, Poppy!”

  I waved back, grinning. “Merry Christmas to you both!”

  Roy slung a casual arm around Fifi’s waist and I remembered the visual of both of them standing outside the Half-Moon, happy as can be, with their new baby. The memory or the thought or whatever it was, made me smile.

  Fifi tensed at Roy’s arm snaking around her waist, like she thought I’d be mad at Roy for showing her affection in front of me. I’d gotten the impression that she’d been worried about dating Roy for a while after he and I broke up, thinking that in doing so, she’d hurt me. Fifi really was too sweet to be a demon. Yes, the breakup had stung for a bit, even if I knew it was the right thing to do, but I was glad to see them both so happy.

  “Do you want to stop in for coffee?” Roy asked.

  I kept my smile in place and my voice light, trying to show her that their PDA didn’t bother me at all. The truth was—it didn’t. “Thank you, but I should be heading home. I’ve got a turkey that needs tending. I just wanted to take a quick walk.”

  “All right, then,” Roy said with an easy smile. “Don’t be a stranger.”

  I waved to them and they disappeared back inside the house.

  Strangely, seeing Roy made me feel a little bit better about things. He hadn’t been happy about our breakup, either, but really, even if I hadn’t been given a heads up about Fifi being his soulmate, I was pretty sure we wouldn’t have worked out long term. For one thing, at eighty, Roy was young for a Sasquatch. I was over forty, and aging like any other human. By the time I was old and gray, Roy would look like he was my grandson. Plus, Sasquatch tended to have big families, and I knew Roy wanted kids, but Finn was plenty for me.

  Roy and I—we just hadn’t been meant to be. And the situation between us hadn’t been great right after the breakup, but Roy and I had managed to get our friendship back pretty quickly, and Roy had moved on to find the love of his life. And that fact gave me hope that Marty would do the same. That not only would he and I be okay, in the end, but that in freeing him, he’d be able to find the woman he was truly supposed to be with.

  And yes, seeing Roy and Fifi together maybe made me a tiny bit jealous. Just a little. Not that I was jealous about Fifi being with Roy, but I was a little envious over what they had together. Their relationship, and how well they meshed as a couple. That was what I wanted, and I could now admit it to myself.

  The future wasn’t set in stone, wasn’t that what Noelle had told me? That our choices could change things. Nothing was pre-determined and we could change the shape of our paths. So, did that mean that visual of Fifi and Roy with their baby was something that might not happen? I figured it did.

  Roy and Fifi’s future was up to them to decide—just as mine was up to me. And for some reason, that thought brought a skip to my stride.

  My feet brought me to Main Street, and I figured I’d take a walk past my shop before heading home to finish dinner preparations. Maybe it was cheating, but in my mind, I was already playing around with some of the new additions I’d seen in my shop in the dreamscape.

  A gust of chilly wind and snow tickled the back of my neck, and I shivered as I stuffed my hands further down into my coat pockets. Under my fingers, something crinkled, and I frowned until I pulled out the candy cane that had been sitting on my pillow this morning.

  I had to laugh a little. As far as Christmas wishes went, this was kind of a tough one. Even so, I felt at peace with my decision, come what may. I knew I’d be saving both me and Marty a lot of heartache down the road, and I’d just have to take the consequences as they came.

  I stood on the sidewalk outside of Poppy’s Potions, under the twinkling Christmas lights, and tilted my head back to let the gentle snowflakes land on my cheeks.

  “Thank you, Noelle,” I murmured to the wind, and I wasn’t just referencing the candy cane in my hand.

  I’d never had anything from Sweeter Haunts that was less than delectable, and I figured I could use a bit of a treat, it was Christmas, after all, so I tugged the silky red ribbon free from the candy cane and started unwrapping it.

  With my head down, and my attention occupied, I didn’t realize there was anyone else on the sidewalk until I plowed head first into them.

  “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry! I wasn’t looking where I was going.” The words came tumbling out on automatic as I tried to jerk back. Somehow, the ribbon from the candy cane had gotten tangled around the other person’s hand, and I had to fight the urge not to yank it back in mortification. “Sorry!”

  “Poppy?”

  I jerked my chin up to stare into Andre’s surprised face. Heat flooded my cheeks as a blush climbed up from my neck. Of course, I couldn’t have crashed into just anyone, it had to be Alixandre Osmont, the focus of all my most confused and embarrassing thoughts.

  “H-h-hi,” I managed, sounding out of breath and flustered.

  He glanced down at his hand and mine and the red ribbon that was now decidedly wrapped around both of them. I frowned as I tried to understand how that was possible—how had the ribbon leapt from my candy cane and wrapped itself around Andre’s hand? Andre didn’t seem to be concerned with it though and, instead, rubbed his fingers over my left finger, where Marty’s engagement ring was decidedly missing. I’d taken it off as soon as I’d reached my decision and put it in the top drawer of my nightstand.

  “Will you look at that?” Andre asked as a little smirk caught his mouth—I wasn’t sure if he was referring to my missing engagement ring or the red ribbon that had wound itself around both of our hands.

  I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know how to act. All I could see was the slightly older version of him saying how much he regretted never speaking up, never telling me how he felt about me and more importantly, that he felt for me the same way I did for him. Doubt then rang through me as I wondered whether the vision was a true picture of the future, or just the wishful thinking of my subconscious?

  It was real, I told myself. You know it was real.

  One thing that was for sure—the attraction I felt for Andre was still firmly in place. The sense of rightness, of familiarity, as if some part of me had breathed out in relief to have our hands touching. It was a little embarrassing, really.

  And that darn ribbon still wouldn’t come untangled.

  Andre’s fingers tightened on mine, and he calmly unwound the red ribbon from our fingers before offering it to me with a smile. “Are you alright?”

  “I’m fine.” I took the ribbon with a shaky laugh and stuffed it back into my pocket, along with the candy cane. “Are you alright? I walked right into you kind of hard.”

  He smiled, looking so smart and dapper in his charcoal wool coat, his scarf folded around his neck. “I’m okay, thank you,” he said and his voice was a little sad. “Happy Christmas, by the way.”

  Something relaxed inside me at the sight of that smile, going warm and soft. “Merry Christmas, Andre. What brings you to Haven Hollow?”

  We hadn’t spoken after Thanksgiving night, after Marty had asked me to marry him and I’d said yes. I’d just assumed Andre had returned to Portland to tend to whatever business he had there and that he’d remained. Seeing him here now? Well, it was surprising to say the least.

  His shoulders rose and fell in an easy shrug. “I was feeling restless, and needed to clear my head.”

  “Me too,” I laughed. “But I meant—what are you doing in Haven Hollow? I haven’t spoken to you since—” I couldn’t even bring myself to complete the sentence.

  “Since you got engaged?” he asked with a strange smile.

  “Right.”

  Then he seemed to pause for a moment or so. “Are you… still engaged?” He glanced down at the missing ring from my finger.

  “That’s a complicated topic that I’d, um, rather not get into at the moment,” I admitted. I wanted to discuss this whole situation with Marty before I discussed it with anyone else.

  Andre nodded as if he understood and didn’t press the topic, which I appreciated. “As to why I’m in Haven Hollow,” he started and then cocked his head to the side as a light snow started to dust the two of us in gentle flakes. “I live here.”